I tried a portable bidet but it doesn't hold enough water. So I got a handheld bidet and I can't fathom how anybody's supposed to use that (especially with the trigger right in the splashback zone). Perhaps my only option is spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a built in one.
Might actually be an improvement. One issue with the portable and handheld bidets are that they scatter water in all directions. It would be preferable if the stream was targeted to where it really counts instead.
Toilet paper itself is probably one of the most “elitist” things ever, one of the bajillions of unnecessary capitalist contradictions, huge source of pollution, and unhealthy, but very profitable so status quo it is
Why not both? Take your real shit at home with all your comforts, then emergency run to the toilet when you get to work and just sit there for a while soaking up the company dough.
Pooping in the office bathroom is quite unpleasant tbh. Sharing a bathroom with people farting and grunting... The smells.. Seeing familiar people's shoes under the stall (if you're unfortunately American)...the condition the bathroom is left in sometimes, including there being not enough toilet paper... I'm glad I wfh now. People are nasty.
32 Comments
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 33 pts · 28d
While I love the idea of pooping on company time, I much prefer my own bathroom with a bidet and good quality toilet paper.
nfreak@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 28d
I work from home, best of both worlds 👉🤠👉
Jentu@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 28d
Travel bidets may not really compete with an actual appliance, but it's better than just shitty workplace toilet paper
Tenderizer78@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 28d
I tried a portable bidet but it doesn't hold enough water. So I got a handheld bidet and I can't fathom how anybody's supposed to use that (especially with the trigger right in the splashback zone). Perhaps my only option is spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a built in one.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 27d
Can you use a bidet attachment for the toilet? It just uses the supply line for the toilet and is fairly easy to install. They cost around $30.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 27d
Just buy a Super Soaker at that point and bend over.
Tenderizer78@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 27d
Might actually be an improvement. One issue with the portable and handheld bidets are that they scatter water in all directions. It would be preferable if the stream was targeted to where it really counts instead.
geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 28d
This is the most elitist shit I've ever read
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 28d
Bidets not being standard everywhere is a truly bizarre course for history to have taken.
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 28d
I didn’t understand it until I installed a bidet.
Now shitting anywhere but Home Toilet and two friends’ houses feels horrible.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 28d
Same. I used to think wet wipes were the pinnacle of human civilization, now they're a distant second to the bidet.
geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 28d
It's not about the bidet.
It's about getting paid.
onlyhalfminotaur@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 28d
Non bidet user detected
deathmetaldawgy@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 28d
Toilet paper itself is probably one of the most “elitist” things ever, one of the bajillions of unnecessary capitalist contradictions, huge source of pollution, and unhealthy, but very profitable so status quo it is
thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 24 pts · 28d
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime
That's why I poop on company time
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 28d
I feel the same way about jacking off.
Gonna be real awkward when I have to return to the office...
IDew@lemmy.zip · 20 pts · 29d
Now this is what I call a shitpost
Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 28d
I mean the same advice could probably be used to make sure you poop after getting to work ..
BrickEater@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 28d
Why not both? Take your real shit at home with all your comforts, then emergency run to the toilet when you get to work and just sit there for a while soaking up the company dough.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 28d
Pooping in the office bathroom is quite unpleasant tbh. Sharing a bathroom with people farting and grunting... The smells.. Seeing familiar people's shoes under the stall (if you're unfortunately American)...the condition the bathroom is left in sometimes, including there being not enough toilet paper... I'm glad I wfh now. People are nasty.
Notyou@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 27d
You forgot to mention the realization about how many people use the bathroom and then don't wash their hands. Yeah, people are nasty.
Etterra@discuss.online · 8 pts · 28d
Why would any working person poop for free when they could be pooping on the company dime?
japemasterBrad@programming.dev · 6 pts · 28d
If you shit before work your body has failed you
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 28d
If I do anything before shitting, my body has failed me
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 28d
Oh those wacky billionaire-owned media companies. Is there nothing they won't do (or don't own)?
xylol@leminal.space · 4 pts · 28d
I drink coffee on my way to work so I can poop when I get there and the toilets are still cleanish
Chivera@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 27d
Someone link that website where you can calculate how much you're getting paid to poop at work.
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 27d
sigh okay...
https://howmuchismypoo.com/
smiletolerantly@awful.systems · 3 pts · 27d
Seems broken? Certificate won't load :(
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 1 pts · 27d
There's a few of them but this one looked deliciously old
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 28d
I misread it as "poop yourself". And it still made sense
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 27d
Pro tip on how to go home early.