Let's start the mockery

474 points · 54 comments · view on lemmy.world

54 Comments

floofloof@lemmy.ca · 199 pts · 42d (2 replies)

“You guys can mock me for not knowing that. I worked about 22 hours in the last few days and I did not get the briefing on that. I will this morning,” he added.

Not 22 hours in one day, but 22 hours in a few days. Which means at least 3 days, which means less than 8 hours a day. Mike Johnson's concept of extreme hard work is less than the least demanding full-time job.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 41 pts · 42d

And in reality, he's probably done his own ACTUAL job of legislating on behalf of the people MAYBE 22 hours in the last month if not year.

mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 41d

wow, that is some important context that the OP left out.

ceenote@lemmy.world · 125 pts · 42d (3 replies)

He's literally trying to condescend while claiming incompetence.

yakko@feddit.uk · 28 pts · 42d

If I could be this incompetent with his compensation package, I'd be an insufferably smug prick idiot too

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 42d

That's pretty much 90% of his public statements.

The rest are bigotry and weird bible interpretations, often at the same time.

Rothe@piefed.social · 5 pts · 41d

He can condescend because he knows he can blatantly lie to the world and face no consequences for it. It is the arrogance of power.

Blibly@lemmy.world · 66 pts · 42d (4 replies)

You don't look like you worked 22 hours Mikey you lying dipshit.

lemmyng@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 42d

I doubt he's worked 22 minutes.

Blackfeathr@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 42d

If "working" means monitoring what kinds of porn his son watches, I might believe he put in 22 hours.

Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 42d

“Given the heavy makeup covering the dark circles under your eyes, how do you respond to allegations that you are transitioning? And will you be going by Michelle?”

ignotum@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 42d

22 hours so far in his life

Manjushri@piefed.social · 58 pts · 42d (1 reply)

"Follow up question, Mr. Speaker! Regarding that last half-a-dozen or so ICE agents that shot and killed people in various states of the union who didn't have body cams. Does there need to be accountability? Surely you've heard about at least one of those killings by now?"

numerator3962@fedinsfw.app · 15 pts · 42d

Something along the lines of: “I’ll need to look into the specifics of each of those before I can provide an answer“

cheat700000007@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 42d (2 replies)

Chill, Mike. Trump's dick can only get so clean

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 42d (1 reply)

Plus it's just going to become filthy again when he shits his diaper again a couple hours (minutes?) later.

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 41d

That's why people are so hellbent on constantly cleaning it though. They know it requires constant maintenance.

Canconda@lemmy.ca · 30 pts · 42d

Asshole knows more about his son's masturbation habits than his god damn job

Triumph@fedia.io · 24 pts · 42d (4 replies)

"Worked".

PlaidBaron@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 42d (3 replies)

Masturbated continuously.

Triumph@fedia.io · 8 pts · 42d (1 reply)

Which he's going to need to tell his son about.

meco03211@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 42d

He already knows. He was watching from his own phone.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 42d

Had to crank out a tribute to Lindsay.

kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 42d (2 replies)

Play the clipshow of Johnson not knowing about major news stories. Wonder what his record is for claiming total ignorance in a day.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 42d (1 reply)
unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 42d

I don't know about any of that with the children

Edit, that is not a direct quote. That's the vibe

stretch2m@infosec.pub · 17 pts · 42d

I can't wait for the day that fucking creepy dweeb gets some justice served up.

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 41d (1 reply)

"worked"

wasabi_noir@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 41d

Worked*

*Jerked off to an L.L.Bean catalog

BigMacHole@thelemmy.club · 14 pts · 42d

How DARE you SOCIALISTS expect your Publicly Funded Politicians to WORK! WORK is for us LOW PAID Workers ONLY!

kreskin@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 42d

I had heard Johnson was dead along with Mitch and Lindsey.

Do his eyes look different than normal? Its suspicious that he doesnt know a damned thing thats going on in the US. Isnt representing people his whole effing job? I question his legitimacy. As the real Mike Johnson. The real Mike Johnson was also a slimey douche but he at least seemed to understand what was going on day by day.

Thats just a guy wearing glasses and a cheap suit. Look at the lady next to him. She doesnt beleive thats Mike Johnson either.

EndOfLine@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 42d (1 reply)

Follow up: What did he spend 22 hours working on that he thought was more pressing than federal agents killing innocent civilians?

lemmy_get_my_coat@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 42d

There's still more rights to strip away from minorities and women, so could be that

Rentlar@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 42d (1 reply)

The press should be asking, what the hell was he working on during that time, if he's so locked in that he's not paying attention to anything? He's been making his primary job this year calling recess for the House.

*From what I saw, I guess Spkr. Johnson is trying to herd the MAGA cats to pass the economically regressive agenda to the Senate before August.

Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 41d

Also, he does not need to be aware of the event to answer the question. It shouldn't be hard to answer...

Mrkawfee@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 42d

Lindsey Graham is in hell and Netanyahu's dick isn't going to suck itself.

SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 42d

Is the work here in the room with us now.

Show me on this doll where the work touched you.

Crozekiel@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 41d (2 replies)

So you worked for 22 hours yesterday and no one brought it up?? What exactly were you doing for 22 hours?

I think we need him to start keeping a log of what he actually does, sounds like he is milking the clock in a broom closet.

TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 40d

More like "milking the broom in a storage closet" am I right?

Frenchgeek@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 40d

Beating his high score in Solitaire.

Klox@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 42d

Who knew being a total dipshit took so much work! I'm sure in 22 more hours he'll spin this into Biden's fault.

theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 42d

Body cameras are a pro police not anti-police measure.

speaksintv@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 42d (1 reply)

I didn’t realize browsing Grindr for 21.5 hours was considered work.

CubitOom@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 42d

Browsing Grindr isn't technically masterbation so he wouldn't need to tell his son that.

Tempus_Fugit@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 42d

What a fucking embarrassment. I hope we pay dearly for electing these cocksucking demons. I pray for $7 a gallon gas.

monotremata@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 40d

Fundamentally he doesn't mean that he doesn't know what happened. He means that he hasn't received his talking points about this yet.

He knows that there will be some way that the right-wing media ecosystem is going to frame this, and it's very important that his framing match theirs exactly. Somewhere a think-tank is working on the perfect wording that will turn an innocent victim into, somehow, an evil communist traitor who was a threat to an ICE officer and also somehow to the very concept of America. And if he tried to give his own spin on it before that, it would only make their job more complicated.

So yeah, he may know that an innocent man was shot, again. But he doesn't yet know the important stuff: how to make him the villain. He just hasn't had the time to get caught up on that! Give him a break.

bender223@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 41d

Please be more understanding, Mike Johnson was very busy monitoring his son's porn activity. 😔

ChetManly@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 42d

Cleaning trumps balloon knot with his tongue for 22 hours? Impressive...

mercano@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 41d

He has to be one of the least informed politicians in memory.

lemmylump@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 42d

22 hours on a prison chain gain shackled, in some godforsaken hell hole along a rattle snake infested highway is how this motherfuck should be spending the rest of his life.

Every single one in this regime must serve time. There must be consequences, there must be justice, and the death penalty absolutely should be on the table.

DarkFuture@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 41d

TRAITOR SCUM

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 42d

In other words: "Yes."

unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 42d

BRING ME THE COUNTESS OF MAR-A-LAGO FACE

ContactClosure@lemmus.org · 0 pts · 42d

Mike Johnson is very, very gay.