Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

Posts like this are slowly curing my internalized transphobia. You look awesome!

Girl, you l need a good strong hug more often. I'm a straight cis black man that grew up as the token black kid in a conservative town. So I understand that anxious energy when you know everyone is going to be looking at you. Build your community and sanctuary so you can face the world whenever you are ready. Don't let others dictate your outcomes.

I hate reading this edit because I came to say how absolutely gorgeous you look, and you do.

The hardest part may be releasing yourself from the need for validation from them. I’m a cis dude and haven’t experienced an ounce of the challenges you have, so my perspective may be off the mark but I hope you can see yourself as this stranger sees you and not as the people who can’t help but load you down with their baggage.

You. Are. Gorgeous. You deserve happiness as your gorgeous self.

I’ll probably just end it when I get back.

Nah, don’t do that

I'm super envious for your style! (And body, you're lucky with that one!)

And it feels horrible what you now tell your relatives have done with you. It's entirely unfounded. What did your cousin think of your style?

You look amazing, so jealous. Hope it goes well

hey girl i see you. im really sorry they treated you that way 🫂 seriously family is the hardest to be yourself in front of. you did such a good job. showing up as yourself in front of the people who can hurt you the most takes a lot of guts and you did it. it didnt go well this time and thats ok. its not because you did anything wrong, or because you didnt look fem enough. seriously your outfit looks so cute, they just arent used to seeing you that way and being confronted with such a huge change in someone they thought they knew. thats not your fault its theirs.

if i can offer a tiny bit of advice, id recommend trying to find some queer community near you. it helps sooo much being able to be around people who will accept your identity without question, especially other trans people. your feelings are so valid and common for us. having other trans people in your life would give you people to talk to who truly get it and can help you through it. not that you should stop coming here we'd miss you ;) but we sadly cant physically hug you and tell you what a good job you did.

just to validate you a little more your outfit looks very cute. its still so early in your transition and youre doing a great job dressing fem. things will only get better from here 🫂

Hell yeah, you go girl!

have fun you look great :) love that top

Looking absolutely stunning! I'm super jelly! Sorry it turned south so quickly, that is truly awful to hear. I hope you feel better, we are here for you in good times and bad. hugs

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

Kick some ass, Queen!

And then I saw a comment and went to read yours… Fuck 'em. It'll hurt, but you don't need people who don't accept you. Some dumbass on the internet (me) accepts you and you can find people IRL who do as well. I promise.

She told me that most trans people have 0 family support while I have full support, which is true. I just sit and whine while others have it way worse.

Thats gross, same thinking as "well i dont beat you the way my parents beat me" or "some kids dont even have clothes to wear, be happy with your 8 yr old outfits"

Like yeah sure, maybe lots of trans people have 0 family (thats me) DOES NOT MEAN your feelings are any less real or valid.

It sucks cause it sounds like your mom is supportive in the best way she knows how. But still you can have these feelings and you should be able to express them.

Its like my therapist says, intent vs impact. People far too often focus on the intent of what theyre saying to others but rarely think about the impact of saying it. I can tell you that impact is more important, regardless of someones intent. If im making any sense lol

Youre so so pretty btw, dont let them get you too down sis. Youre amazing and beautiful the way you are, no matter what ❤️

I hope you get lots of nice compliments

Talk to someone, anyone, before you hurt yourself. I’m not a pro but I can listen and I PMed you my number.

You look great, girl. Really. I'm glad your mum supports you, but it sounds like there's a lot of people around who don't. It's hard to keep that from affecting your own mind, even if you know they're wrong.

However, it is possible. I believe in you. You're brave, this post is proof of that.

Hold your head up high, you are a beautiful person and you deserve respect, and you deserve to wear fun clothes like any of us do!

Hey please don't hurt yourself!

Don't minimise yourself, just because other people have it worse doesn't mean you can't feel bad! As others have said you should probably get some community to help you. We care, but unfortunately we can't really be physically there for you. I'm not very good at this but I can listen if you want.

Wishing you luck you're looking awesome :3

woaaaaaaah such girlllll mrrrrrreeaowww, waoaoooaoaooaoaooaoaoaoaoaoo

You're not on an easy path, but you're on it, you still went and took the challenge, bravo!

People can have a hard time accepting change or changing their own preconceptions, but some will come around eventually.

I hope you're pulling through this one. Looks help, but they aren't what makes you you. Be who you are, wear what feels good and have a chat or twelve with the people who are supportive. The rest will come automatically at some point.

Good luck and all the best.

FFS

what does FFS mean?

Keep us updated!

I wish I'd seen this sooner. You deserve so much more than half-assed conditional support. You are gorgeous and I hope one day that you can look in the mirror and see the beautiful woman the rest of us see.

Nobody ever feels perfect in their own bodies, getting stuck in the feedback loop of not accepting and tweaking just ends up becoming a halting problem. When do you stop? What is good enough? I think your mom might be on to something there and just didn't know how to say it.

The trick is to just tell yourself you look great every time you see yourself. Find something you like and ignore literally everything else, just focus on that. Eventually you start to see more that you like than what you don't, even if nothing changes.

It's fucking hard.

It's so fucking hard to say I like the way this looks when I hate so much of the rest, but eventually I started to just hate less and less of what I saw.

You look great. Getting into your head just ends up putting you right back into that feedback loop so change the feedback loop and that's all mental, not physical.

Chiming in just to express my support, long with the other commenters.

It seems that you've at least found a tupportive and minful community here. I wish you to find one IRL too if that's not already the case. A good community really helps being well, happy, and attenuating anxiety.

I also wish that your family learn to identify and avoid hurtful acts and words.

In other words, I wish you conditions that help being at least safe and happy.

(Again, sorry if my message is clumsy.)

Sounds like you don’t have full support to me and you know it. My family is toxic as hell and if I had the option I’d never see them again. Hope you figure out what you want and go for it as long as you have the opportunity.

I can't even imagine the struggle having to deal with family like this. It's nice to know that they are trying, but you'll need to strengthen your resolve. You look fantastic. You don't need their validation to keep being you. The best thing that you can do is have confidence in yourself. You are a beautiful person, and when you show confidence in who you are, people will be more accepting. You need a "This who I am, now fucking deal with." And show ZERO shame for being yourself. When your mother acts like this, then she can fuck off.

I can totally understand that having "confidence" is extremely difficult in a stage of your life like this, but fake it if you need to. Fake it until you make it. Speak loud and proud, be mindful of your posture and your mental mindset - tell yourself that you are in control of your life, your body, your actions. If you feel that you're losing confidence, divest yourself from the situation and build yourself back up.

You got this.

Ok I'm here for some brutal honesty. You are a man that's gonna cut off his penis. That makes anyone uncomfortable. People are supporting you DESITE how they feel. Be grateful because those feelings you have are the same ones your family has. Be grateful that they're trying to support even though you feel it's "fake". Fake it till you make it.