I want a girl who is unvaccinated
I want a girl who prays in tongues
At a MAGA rally we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she is spoken to
She wants to work on her fit, fit body
She wants to rock it with her modest clothes
She's changing her surname to whatever mine is
She's trading her career to raise our nine kids
I want a girl with a short leash and who looooooves, loooooooooves Jesus!
Damn, he got like one aspect of this kind of correct, except you know that by "improving himself" he maybe at best means getting in better physical or financial shape instead of addressing the Scrooge McDuck-style vault full of red flags, and at worst he means sliding deeper into this disgusting worldview.
I googled it and it's a thing in Christianity. Basically making up words to an unknown language. Try praying in Latin without knowing it and you're praying in tongues.
I was raised in a church where tongues would often happen, and I got in trouble for questioning what or why they were obviously saying just gibberish.
Like the whole collapsing on the floor and speaking in tongues while shaking. Do people really just...do that? Like, is it something most people could be pushed to do? Is it actually just a big lie? A performance? Does the pastor ask them to act in such a way before the sermon?
I believe there is/was a company that had an option to have the doll actually say things. (embedded electronics)
Super creepy but hey, if your kink is a girl praying in tongues, whatever. Not much different than someone trying to talk with their mouth full while eating lunch. Sounds sexy right??? Or creepy, it is October!
I just want an attractive, big titty goth girl, who worships Satan, wants to make fuck, is vaccinated, and has a slim body that she clothes in the sluttiest outfits she can find.
Is that too much to ask for??
They may be rare, but they do exist. Holding out, while I continue to get worse. 🤟🏻⚡️☠️💦
Watch the documentary "Jesus camp" for the long answer. Short answer is there's a lot of them and reinforce each other's delusions and indoctrinate children.
All of our products with the exception of the premium "Cat Boy" and "Kawaii Maid Boy" ship a bare, to allow our customers to customise them to their own tastes.
If you give me your order number, I can look up the status of your order and confirm the shipping status for you?
Lemmy lives in a bubble cuz they think what this guy asks for is unrealistic.
There are plenty of girls out there exactly according to the description. And they're in then looking for a "real man".
And, yes, the OOP is doing the right thing by probably going to the gym and working on making more money, cuz those will ultimately be the factors his dream woman is valuing most.
Get rekt, lemmy. Other people will be happy in their own way and there's nothing you can do about it.
I don't get it. This post is just a Christian looking to mingle. The tongues thing basically means he is looking for a Pentecostal. The weirdest thing about this is the antivax thing which is dumb and the tongues but all religions have weird practices.
Maybe he needs to find a different church. I'm pretty sure there's at least one church full of evangelical crazies in his area with a single (probably underage) woman that can be assigned to him by his pastor and forcibly married to him with her parents' blessings.
How on Earth do you get I hate all Christians from "this crazy evangelical needs to find a different crazy evangelical church for his crazy evangelical wife?"
Or is this a "none of those other sects are true Christians" sort of thing?
Since you apparently need some very basic clarification: there are plenty of non-crazy non-evangelical Christians I have no problem with. They don't generally speak in tongues.
By the way, that insult wasn't very Christian of you.
My grandparents were Pentecostal and my mother was raised in the church. She remembered the terror of polio and saw babies die from measles. We were all vaccinated. Having faith doesn't have to mean rejecting science. If God created everything, he created medicine and gave us doctors. Bunch of grifters out in the world.
64 Comments
saltesc@lemmy.world · 122 pts · 1y
I want a girl who is unvaccinated
I want a girl who prays in tongues
At a MAGA rally we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she is spoken to
She wants to work on her fit, fit body
She wants to rock it with her modest clothes
She's changing her surname to whatever mine is
She's trading her career to raise our nine kids
I want a girl with a short leash and who looooooves, loooooooooves Jesus!
muted trumpet
ted@sh.itjust.works · 34 pts · 1y
I just turned to my wife and sang this to her, then showed her the meme. Thank you.
spicytuna62@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y
Help me out. What's the tune? Because I can't figure it out lol
Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 1y
Short Skirt Long Jacket by Cake
It was the first thing that popped in my head too when I read the first 4 words in the screenshot lmao
weariedfae@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
I am helpless with mirth.
Steak@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1y
Holy shit that is great hahahaha
TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 1y
Bravo!
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 102 pts · 1y
Damn, he got like one aspect of this kind of correct, except you know that by "improving himself" he maybe at best means getting in better physical or financial shape instead of addressing the Scrooge McDuck-style vault full of red flags, and at worst he means sliding deeper into this disgusting worldview.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 43 pts · 1y
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 32 pts · 1y
Most unpleasant guy you’ve ever met who is moderately in shape: why don’t I have a fuck maid as a reward for basic self care???
EleventhHour@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y
😂😂😂
SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org · 13 pts · 1y
Hopefully he'll improve to the point of realizing the BS he was spouting.
TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 65 pts · 1y
Prays in tongues? Lol poor moron doesn't even understand what he's saying.
rob64@startrek.website · 29 pts · 1y
That's the whole idea!
Asafum@feddit.nl · 22 pts · 1y
So hot:
Maalus@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y
I googled it and it's a thing in Christianity. Basically making up words to an unknown language. Try praying in Latin without knowing it and you're praying in tongues.
GottaKnowYourCHKN@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
I was raised in a church where tongues would often happen, and I got in trouble for questioning what or why they were obviously saying just gibberish.
Like the whole collapsing on the floor and speaking in tongues while shaking. Do people really just...do that? Like, is it something most people could be pushed to do? Is it actually just a big lie? A performance? Does the pastor ask them to act in such a way before the sermon?
deegeese@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 1y
I think it’s a public performance to demonstrate piety by humiliating yourself in front of your religious community.
Sort of like a contest to see who can pray the loudest.
LMurch@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 180d
It is TOO a real language, you just don't know it. It's spoken in Canada. No, you're a loser.
magnetosphere@fedia.io · 54 pts · 1y
First tip to “improve yourself”: don’t use the word “woke” as an unironic insult.
Also, consider being flexible on lots of things, particularly vaccines. It would be a shame if your dream girl died in the next pandemic.
GBU_28@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 1y
Well that's just time for a new dream girl!
metaStatic@kbin.earth · -25 pts · 1y
What makes you think it was meant as an insult? If something is a deal breaker it's probably best not to sugar coat it.
magnetosphere@fedia.io · 26 pts · 1y
I think you might take posts on InsanePeopleFacebook a tad too seriously.
metaStatic@kbin.earth · -16 pts · 1y
projection much? you're literally talking to a screenshot.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 54 pts · 1y
I want a fundamentalist moron who let's me dominate her like a wife ought to.
Zier@fedia.io · 50 pts · 1y
I think he should just order the sex doll, it's exactly what he is asking for.
aisteru@lemmy.aisteru.ch · 29 pts · 1y
If your sex doll starts praying in tongues... You're probably f*cked
Zier@fedia.io · 10 pts · 1y
I believe there is/was a company that had an option to have the doll actually say things. (embedded electronics) Super creepy but hey, if your kink is a girl praying in tongues, whatever. Not much different than someone trying to talk with their mouth full while eating lunch. Sounds sexy right??? Or creepy, it is October!
slackassassin@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y
Bride of chucky 2: Electric boogaloo
paddirn@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 1y
I just want an attractive, big titty goth girl, who worships Satan, wants to make fuck, is vaccinated, and has a slim body that she clothes in the sluttiest outfits she can find.
Is that too much to ask for??
They may be rare, but they do exist. Holding out, while I continue to get worse. 🤟🏻⚡️☠️💦
michaelmrose@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 1y
Of all the things wrong with the ad why would you imagine speaking in tongues is anything but literal mental illness.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
Watch the documentary "Jesus camp" for the long answer. Short answer is there's a lot of them and reinforce each other's delusions and indoctrinate children.
BeatTakeshi@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 1y
Unvaccinated ones died at young age bruh
PorradaVFR@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 1y
“I will die alone” would have been quicker to post.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 1y
They exist, but usually die in their childhood of measels
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1y
As for me, I'll take the exact opposite!
Oh wait. Except the woman part. I'm ok with that.
CameronDev@programming.dev · 23 pts · 1y
Sorry, too late, we've already shipped the grungy atheist gamer man child to your address.
If it is not to your satisfaction, wrap it in the same packaging and we'll give you a return address. There will unfortunately be a restocking fee.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
Oh no, that's alright. I'm sure we can find something to do with him.
burgersc12@mander.xyz · 5 pts · 1y
Ah shit, looks like I'm getting shipped
Valmond@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
He comes in what kind of stockings?
CameronDev@programming.dev · 4 pts · 1y
All of our products with the exception of the premium "Cat Boy" and "Kawaii Maid Boy" ship a bare, to allow our customers to customise them to their own tastes.
If you give me your order number, I can look up the status of your order and confirm the shipping status for you?
don@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 1y
🤭
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y
The women are just lining up waiting for his improvement.
magnetosphere@fedia.io · 2 pts · 1y
Yeah. I want to have hope, but the rest of the message suggests that I shouldn’t.
subignition@fedia.io · 10 pts · 1y
This dude needs an anime waifu to hopefully prevent him from terrorizing real women
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
C'mon honey! Could you please pray in tongues for me again near my bussome?
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
I like the story of Jesus and the dallllly lllllama the most. Specially the parts with lllllove and lllloss. C'mon doil agail! I love you!
Kintarian@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
He'll be an insel in no time
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y
He already is one
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 5 pts · 1y
Came across another sovcit bodycam video. Came here to share it before I even watch it myself. Enjoy!
Police Give Sovereign Citizen Couple a Much-Needed Dose of Reality
BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
These are just delicious. Wonderful find!
where_am_i@sh.itjust.works · -8 pts · 1y
Lemmy lives in a bubble cuz they think what this guy asks for is unrealistic.
There are plenty of girls out there exactly according to the description. And they're in then looking for a "real man".
And, yes, the OOP is doing the right thing by probably going to the gym and working on making more money, cuz those will ultimately be the factors his dream woman is valuing most.
Get rekt, lemmy. Other people will be happy in their own way and there's nothing you can do about it.
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz · -9 pts · 1y
I don't get it. This post is just a Christian looking to mingle. The tongues thing basically means he is looking for a Pentecostal. The weirdest thing about this is the antivax thing which is dumb and the tongues but all religions have weird practices.
Wogi@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1y
If he were a Pentecostal he'd know where to find that woman, she'd be going to the same church he is.
More than likely he's exhausted all of his options there.
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz · -10 pts · 1y
So no one uses social media to date unless they are an incel?
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
Does he not go to church?
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz · -5 pts · 1y
He might, but that doesn't mean there are available women there.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
Maybe he needs to find a different church. I'm pretty sure there's at least one church full of evangelical crazies in his area with a single (probably underage) woman that can be assigned to him by his pastor and forcibly married to him with her parents' blessings.
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz · -5 pts · 1y
Ah I see, you just despise all Christians. Better you think you are so edgy.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
How on Earth do you get I hate all Christians from "this crazy evangelical needs to find a different crazy evangelical church for his crazy evangelical wife?"
Or is this a "none of those other sects are true Christians" sort of thing?
Since you apparently need some very basic clarification: there are plenty of non-crazy non-evangelical Christians I have no problem with. They don't generally speak in tongues.
By the way, that insult wasn't very Christian of you.
raynethackery@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y
My grandparents were Pentecostal and my mother was raised in the church. She remembered the terror of polio and saw babies die from measles. We were all vaccinated. Having faith doesn't have to mean rejecting science. If God created everything, he created medicine and gave us doctors. Bunch of grifters out in the world.
Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 1y
I didn't mean to imply pentecostals were all anti-vax, just that they believed in a very specific form of the gift of tongues.
raynethackery@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
Oh, I didn't take your post that way. Sorry if mine came across as saying that.
darki@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 1y