You’re connected through your leech fields and the water table, maybe? Kinda like that one friend trying to connect on their mobile hotspot. Everyone still loves them.
I've had this recurring nightmare for the last twenty or so years where I go to sit on a toilet and a disembodied hand comes out of the drain-hole hand first and touches my butt.
65 Comments
TheImpressiveX@lemm.ee · 118 pts · 1y
The proper terminology is WAN - a Wide Anal Network.
Entropywins@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 1y
Got 3 bathrooms in my house does that make a local anal network?
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 27 pts · 1y
Would a bedpan be a Personal Anal Network?
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee · 18 pts · 1y
I believe that would be an air gapped device, or a thumb drive.
sulgoth@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
Bum drive.
SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
Septic tank =Honeypot?
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 1y
NAS.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Networked Anal Storage or Networked Ass Storage for short.
SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net · 7 pts · 1y
This one is disgustingly accurate..
Due to the Honeywagon
Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Reminds me of an old MadTV bit
lime@feddit.nu · 3 pts · 1y
ah yes, sneakernet
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y
Any network I join is a wide anal network
Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 2 pts · 1y
Maybe that's what the lyrics for Hash Pipe mean... 🤔
🎵You've got your problems,
I've got my Ass Wide (network) 🎵
Botzo@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 1y
I never thought I'd feel so isolated on my septic system...
nifty@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y
You’re connected through your leech fields and the water table, maybe? Kinda like that one friend trying to connect on their mobile hotspot. Everyone still loves them.
GluWu@lemm.ee · 9 pts · 1y
Decentralized encrypting shitting
Ste41th@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1y
But is it open source?
scytale@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y
Yours is like satellite internet.
kambusha@sh.itjust.works · 46 pts · 1y
Shoot me a bm
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com · 30 pts · 1y
Gonna need fiber for that.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Just like a data network, fiber makes the transfers faster.
nifty@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
poot poot
Pick up the fart phone
xintrik@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 1y
Stream of subconscious
Mr_Blott@feddit.uk · 33 pts · 1y
NigelSimmons@startrek.website · 31 pts · 1y
I'll leave this here...
ohellidk@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 1y
I'm logged in rn.
NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y
DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
I need more broadband because my upload is too big
shneancy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
there's enough data in my bum i don't want more
Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1y
Err .. I don't think you want to download ..
NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 1y
I don't know what that is and I suspect I don't want to know, so I'm going to keep it that way.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
I believe it's a lady in a tub shitting all over herself, fyi.
Lodespawn@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1y
Well, that's about as gross as I figured it would be .. thanks
DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 1y
When you open Lemmy you are connected to every persons phone and can ruin their day in an instant.
nifty@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y
I mean, I come across a lot of off putting comments, but I am sure others think the same of mine. We all deserve each other, yaay \o/
SARGE@startrek.website · 3 pts · 1y
osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org · 3 pts · 1y
Excuse you, the sex ghost candle is nowhere near the caliber of munition you unloaded with that last line.
unphazed@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y
I'm on a private intranet then. I have a septic system.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
Don't you worry about outsiders accessing your system and its private contents? They could leak it everywhere.
stinky@redlemmy.com · 15 pts · 1y
OH my friend reminded me I'm on a septic tank? how can I get my butthole connected pls
kasagawa@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y
nifty@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Ew, thanks I love it
jol@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 1y
Makes me feel very connected, thanks.
friend_of_satan@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y
Aka the sphincternet.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
mudmaniac@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y
There is an air gap. You're safe.
But if water splashes up then it's GAME OVER MAN.
TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 1y
Enshittification of the buttnet must continue!
benderbeerman@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1y
So a p-trap is kinda like a butt firewall then
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
Would disabling the firewall let the p into my butt?
Ste41th@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 1y
Guess it’s the
FediverseshittyverseSidewaysHighways@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
At first read this as massaged, and that context definitely puts this in a different light
nifty@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
Not only that, but the massage is hot, stoned and Swedish
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 5 pts · 1y
Interfacing through the porcelain terminal, Case jacked into the waste-processing network
r4venw@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y
I've had this recurring nightmare for the last twenty or so years where I go to sit on a toilet and a disembodied hand comes out of the drain-hole hand first and touches my butt.
nifty@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
What are your thoughts on skibidi toilet?
r4venw@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y
Honestly terrifies me
benderbeerman@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y
It's the poop hand from monsturd... worst bad movie ever
roguetrick@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Thank you, Thing.
helpmyusernamewontfi@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 1y
Reading this while on the shitter
expatriado@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
upload only... at least on my side, one large packet at the time, or a bunch of small packets depending on recent past diet
user224@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 1y
Until you experience sewer backup.
ulterno@programming.dev · 4 pts · 1y
And your nose and mouth is connected to everyone too.
All in the vast ocean of air. You are inhaling what others exhale.
nifty@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
I’ll upvote it simply because it’s provocative
aido@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
Move to a house with a septic tank
nifty@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
Why? Butt network is life.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1y
It's a comforting thought 😌
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 3 pts · 1y
This is actually a joke from the Blue Man Group's The Complex tour (not saying it's a "stolen joke").