*puts in coins and pushes button for Crystal Bepis, gets diet root beer*
*puts in coins and pushes button for Bepis this time, somehow receive trail mix, not in bag*
*Accidentally put in too much money, return button doesn't work. Push any soda button, nothing happens. Next guy gets two sodas he actually pushed the button for.*
I once found a vending machine where I could pay for skittles, it wouldn't give them to me, I'd get a refund, then I'd pay for them again and get TWO SKITTLES. I keep that location to myself but it was a godsend.
The SCP Foundation is a secret organization dedicated to securing, containing, and protecting various anomalous entities. The website is an archive of top secret documents including entries for each entity, called an SCP followed by a number, containing a practical name, detailed description, the effects of the anomaly, experiments performed, containment methods, pictures, etc. Objects can be anything, benign looking household items, monsters, seemingly normal humans, etc. There's nearly 5000 entries on the site. It's a pretty fun time sink if you're into short horror stories. Most of them only take a minute or two to read. There's also multiple games, most notably SCP Containment Breach and tons of spinoff material.
Exactly, it literally says in Control's wiki, "inspired by paranormal stories about the fictional SCP Foundation." I didn't know the genre is now called "New Weird" though. I have some new authors to check out.
A creative writing project where the stories are all loosely based in a common universe where there is a secret organization protecting humanity from an evil force which manifests as a broad variety of different monsters.
come up with a weird supernatural concept and write it in the format of a lab report
SCP-80085
Special Containment Procedures: put it in a secure room and don't fucking touch it.
Description: SCP-80085 is a McTasty burger as served by the McDonald's restaurant chain, seemingly immune to rot and decay. Anyone who touches it fucking dies instantly from clogged arteries causing a heart attack.
Addendum: Somehow Steve survived touching the burger, he took a bite and fucking exploded when he swallowed it, holy shit that's gonna take some therapy. Burger seems to have regenerated though.
I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me. You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway." And here we are.
I mean, really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talkin' full on, watermelon in the thighs level carnage.
And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy." I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee piss myself bitch.
I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like... weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary, too. We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I mean, l'm a real freak. I'm not normal.
There’s a soda machine in seattle on the sidewalk of some random street not near any store, that someone stocks with random cans of whatever. Stuff I would have bet money doesn’t exist, sometimes. Never heard anyone mention it, but when I brought it up they were like “oh yeah that haunted vending machine.”
Allison Williams of Seattle Met also notes that the neighborhood of Capitol Hill now has a more corporate culture, and doubts whether the area is "still weird enough for a persistent enigma".
Yeah I loved on capitol hill a dozen years ago and even then, all the hardcore hippies and weirdos were being wrung out of the neighborhood by developers and the bubble they bring. All of Seattle is totally different from 10, 20 years ago, which is totally different from 30, 40 years ago. None of it is for the better.
They'll also never understand the pleasure of finding a dusty machine like this on a hot day after biking a long distance, putting in a quarter and being shocked when it works(!) and the sodas are ice cold.
I think I single handedly killed it. I bought like seven two-liters a week for years, and I stopped last year when I switched to caffeine free diet bepis. Then Diet Rite gets cancelled. I'm sorry, guys!
I liked diet rite because it mixed well with various flavored syrups (Monin), especially vanilla and cherry.
Lots. Especially if you include the ice in the soda! But yeah. Usually six to eight cups additional. My fridge meters out filtered water by quarter cup increments, so I can keep good track of it.
Agreed! I legit worked for SuperValu Corp back in the day for years on the soda desk and still would buy “off brands”! Shasta is still my jam to this day!! I am not trying to pay $10 for a damn pack of soda!
70 Comments
capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 114 pts · 361d
*puts in coins and pushes button for Crystal Bepis, gets diet root beer*
*puts in coins and pushes button for Bepis this time, somehow receive trail mix, not in bag*
*Accidentally put in too much money, return button doesn't work. Push any soda button, nothing happens. Next guy gets two sodas he actually pushed the button for.*
linkinkampf19@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 361d
This feels like a borked version of SCP-294
Tracaine@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 361d
It's not an SCP. It's just a...vending machine from 1985. That's how they all worked.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 361d
I once found a vending machine where I could pay for skittles, it wouldn't give them to me, I'd get a refund, then I'd pay for them again and get TWO SKITTLES. I keep that location to myself but it was a godsend.
capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 361d
Between that and the killer soda machine from Maximum Overdrive.
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 361d
ELI5 SCP
capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 361d
The SCP Foundation is a secret organization dedicated to securing, containing, and protecting various anomalous entities. The website is an archive of top secret documents including entries for each entity, called an SCP followed by a number, containing a practical name, detailed description, the effects of the anomaly, experiments performed, containment methods, pictures, etc. Objects can be anything, benign looking household items, monsters, seemingly normal humans, etc. There's nearly 5000 entries on the site. It's a pretty fun time sink if you're into short horror stories. Most of them only take a minute or two to read. There's also multiple games, most notably SCP Containment Breach and tons of spinoff material.
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 361d
So it’s like deep fiction to the tune of the game Control?
capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 361d
Exactly, it literally says in Control's wiki, "inspired by paranormal stories about the fictional SCP Foundation." I didn't know the genre is now called "New Weird" though. I have some new authors to check out.
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 360d
Hype. Thanks so much! I’m going to have to dig a while.
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 361d
Yep! But Control is based off SCP, not the other way around.
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 360d
Oh I didn’t reckon it was even related, just meant the same flavor - but very very interested knowing control is based on SCP
socsa@piefed.social · 5 pts · 360d
A creative writing project where the stories are all loosely based in a common universe where there is a secret organization protecting humanity from an evil force which manifests as a broad variety of different monsters.
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 359d
come up with a weird supernatural concept and write it in the format of a lab report
SCP-80085
Special Containment Procedures: put it in a secure room and don't fucking touch it.
Description: SCP-80085 is a McTasty burger as served by the McDonald's restaurant chain, seemingly immune to rot and decay. Anyone who touches it fucking dies instantly from clogged arteries causing a heart attack.
Addendum: Somehow Steve survived touching the burger, he took a bite and fucking exploded when he swallowed it, holy shit that's gonna take some therapy. Burger seems to have regenerated though.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 359d
Google it. It's pretty fascinating.
Hupf@feddit.org · 14 pts · 361d
Change must come from within.
salacious_coaster@infosec.pub · 61 pts · 361d
One "end me," please
iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org · 33 pts · 361d
I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me. You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway." And here we are.
I mean, really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talkin' full on, watermelon in the thighs level carnage.
And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy." I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee piss myself bitch.
I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like... weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary, too. We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I mean, l'm a real freak. I'm not normal.
Ma'am... Please... You have to crush me.
Edit: Link
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 360d
Excuse me, just one question: What the fuck?
untorquer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 360d
Some people need a dommy mommy sometimes.
cdf12345@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 360d
Spike gets horny.
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space · 2 pts · 360d
That's what you get for feeding lemmings after midnight.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip · 36 pts · 361d
binarytobis@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 360d
There’s a soda machine in seattle on the sidewalk of some random street not near any store, that someone stocks with random cans of whatever. Stuff I would have bet money doesn’t exist, sometimes. Never heard anyone mention it, but when I brought it up they were like “oh yeah that haunted vending machine.”
hakobo@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 360d
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitol_Hill_mystery_soda_machine
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 360d
Gentrification strikes again.
turtlesareneat@discuss.online · 5 pts · 360d
Yeah I loved on capitol hill a dozen years ago and even then, all the hardcore hippies and weirdos were being wrung out of the neighborhood by developers and the bubble they bring. All of Seattle is totally different from 10, 20 years ago, which is totally different from 30, 40 years ago. None of it is for the better.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 9 pts · 360d
There is an itch.io game inspired by it! Hated by Mastercard and VISA for minor gore.
https://neuroticfly.itch.io/interdimensional-vending-machine
binarytobis@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 360d
RIP 😭
ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 360d
'was'
F
_stranger_@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 361d
I could go for a Crystal Bepis right now.
simplejack@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 361d
Right now, it’s your tomorrow
https://youtu.be/hObxaCAsQ7M
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 360d
Legit never seen a taste like that.
mctoasterson@reddthat.com · 29 pts · 361d
No Mingus Dew or Bebop Cola?
Mister_Feeny@fedia.io · 10 pts · 361d
WELL HELLO, CONSUMER, YES, HELLO CONSUMER, BOP BOP BOP BOP BA DOP BAH BEBOP COLA, YEAH!
MrJameGumb@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 361d
You bastard!
You k*lled Ben!
Oh, Ben! Oh!
...And your babies.
Oh, oh... They're hatching.
They're orphans...
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 359d
BEBOP COLA GOOOOOD!!!
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 361d
Mungus Du is the superior yellow drink
cdf12345@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 360d
Hey guys, I found this dodgeball cannon! Let’s fire it up!
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 26 pts · 361d
"end me"?
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 361d
furiously pressing button
don@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 361d
If you insist
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 359d
33cl of hydrochloric acid
aesthelete@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 360d
They'll also never understand the pleasure of finding a dusty machine like this on a hot day after biking a long distance, putting in a quarter and being shocked when it works(!) and the sodas are ice cold.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 361d
I like that diet rite is the only one that's not a parody
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 361d
that's because the existence of diet rite is parody enough itself
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 360d
True. It was good tho
Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 360d
I think I single handedly killed it. I bought like seven two-liters a week for years, and I stopped last year when I switched to caffeine free diet bepis. Then Diet Rite gets cancelled. I'm sorry, guys!
I liked diet rite because it mixed well with various flavored syrups (Monin), especially vanilla and cherry.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 360d
Damn. That's a lot of 2 liters. You drink water too though right?
Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 360d
Lots. Especially if you include the ice in the soda! But yeah. Usually six to eight cups additional. My fridge meters out filtered water by quarter cup increments, so I can keep good track of it.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 360d
I hate ice in my soda. Takes up space that should be soda.
But I'm glad you get your water intake
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space · 5 pts · 360d
Wow! Wikipedia says it was discontinued only in 2024.
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 360d
That's actually pretty incredible. I don't think I've seen a can since 1997
HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 361d
One large benis for me please 😋
trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 359d
Make it double
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 359d
How you doin'?
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 15 pts · 361d
The “pepe” being green is the tell
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 360d
Shasta or get the fuck out.
socsa@piefed.social · 8 pts · 360d
🅱️asta
Plurrbear@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 360d
Agreed! I legit worked for SuperValu Corp back in the day for years on the soda desk and still would buy “off brands”! Shasta is still my jam to this day!! I am not trying to pay $10 for a damn pack of soda!
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 359d
Also, nobody else makes a kiwi strawberry soda, and that shit fucking rules.
Plurrbear@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 359d
I agree!!!! We get Shasta kiwi strawberry all the time and upset it’s now like $5 for a 12 pack!
expatriado@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 361d
rare Pepe
And009@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 360d
Pepe milk ftw
carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 361d
i mean most of these are parodying the 2009 pepsi logo so idk
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 359d
sepsis
Doomsider@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 359d
Dr Thirst
Fountain Mist
Family Cola
Green Thunder
Spruce Up
Fantuz
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 360d
What's with the names? And the "end me"?
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 359d
funy
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 359d
Penis cola
MissJinx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 361d