c/aboringdystopia · by db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 323d

ICE tries to kidnap random food delivery driver off the street. He jukes them on a foldable bike.

https://bsky.app/profile/wutangforchildren.bsky.social/post/3lzwt3qdezs2n

This nation has devolved into Tragicomedy.

772 points · 120 comments · view on lemmy.world

120 Comments

CubitOom@infosec.pub · 212 pts · 323d (10 replies)

db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 40 pts · 322d (3 replies)

Ah cheers

bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 322d (2 replies)

Apparently he said something like "fuck Trump", and they got big mad.

Whippygoatcream@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 322d (1 reply)

He was on the bike circling in front of them taunting "I'm not a US Citizen" They were just laughing it off until he dropped his phone on the ground. Then they tried to pounce on him as he went to pick it up. Tbh he's lucky those dumb shits didn't shoot at him as he rode away.

bold_atlas@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d

These stupid smartphones will be the death of us.

Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip · 34 pts · 322d (3 replies)

Okay if GTA is like this then I totally understand now. The way they turned around like pathetic NPCs 😂

mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 322d (1 reply)

Nah, if this was GTA, more agents would have spawned in front of him just off camera, and plowed into him with their cruisers.

GTA’s crazy cops were started because of a coding bug. The game devs wanted cops to navigate to the player then brake, before hopping out of their cruiser to arrest you. The astute programmer has probably already seen the error here… The cops navigated to the player and didn’t start braking until after they plowed into you at full speed. Then once you were laid out on the ground, the cops would hop out of their cruisers to bust you. The devs forgot to add any kind of “brake before reaching the player” distance to the player’s location, so the cops would just run you down at full speed. But during play testing, the devs discovered that the players thought it was a lot of fun, constantly dodging the wildly homicidal cops. So they left it in, and GTA was born.

cynar@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 322d

I thought they put it in, but accidentally reversed the sign. Instead of slowing, they actively accelerated.

It was back when it was a street racing game. The idea was that cops would box you in, and slow you down.

Mirshe@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 322d

Who knew kiting worked in real life?

takenaps@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 322d

Lmao

Olgratin_Magmatoe@startrek.website · 3 pts · 322d

Solid example of why dutch style bikes are so nice.

F_State@midwest.social · 129 pts · 322d (18 replies)

At any point in the past, most people would criticize "running from the police" but now it's the most socially acceptable it's ever been to cheer someone on.

billwashere@lemmy.world · 67 pts · 322d (16 replies)

Well these Meal Team 6 chucklefucks are not police.

Were they looking for this guy or did they just say to themselves “Hey he looks Hispanic, nab him.”

What the actual fuck?!

booly@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 322d (11 replies)

He was circling on the bike taunting them, saying stuff like "I'm not an American citizen," and the ICE dudes just tolerated it until the bike rider dropped his phone, and detected weakness and pounced, before the guy snatched up his phone and managed to ride away.

Tragicomedy is the best description.

TomArrr@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 322d (4 replies)

Where did you see this bit? It starts at him picking something up

Zaktor@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 322d (2 replies)

Replays from the start of the interaction after playing through the escape.

https://youtube.com/shorts/nv5i_cY2IJs

Zombiepirate@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 321d

I liked this guy when I didn't know the full story. But now that I know that he was yelling at the fascists on the street I love him. Thanks!

inbeesee@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d

LOL what a BA, thanks for the food delivery

Inkstainthebat@pawb.social · 4 pts · 322d

Agreed, I've been trying to find a more complete clip

bold_atlas@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d

Cavalry > Infantry

Fjdybank@lemmy.ca · -1 pts · 322d

Prove it.

Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world · -16 pts · 322d (3 replies)

[ removed ]

Fjdybank@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 322d

My man, why do you trust so easily? No source, no evidence, just empty words on a screen.

Be better.

inbeesee@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d

Even if he was, I'm pro-harrassing ICE agents really. They are not here to protect us.

RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d

Why not?

madjo@feddit.nl · 9 pts · 322d

Apparently he had hurt their feelings by shouting "Fuck ICE" at them before this Benny Hill/Keystone Cops routine started.

SabinStargem@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 322d

They might have ordered food, and thought they wouldn't have to pay the tip if they trafficked him.

rumba@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 322d (1 reply)

https://www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/blog/supreme-courts-decision-racial-profiling-immigration-raids/

“Hey he looks Hispanic, nab him.”

that one

SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d

We should not have to live in a country where the Government can seize anyone who looks Latino, speaks Spanish, and appears to work a low wage job. Rather than stand idly by while our constitutional freedoms are lost, I dissent. - Justice Sonia Sotomayor

As should we all.

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 11 pts · 322d

In USA for a lot of (unprivileged) folk that was always true, ppl could get in random unrelated trouble for reporting a crime & needing police assistance.

I'm glad I didn't grow up fearing the police, like in an emergency, I would run to them, seeking/getting help.
After all, they are public servants, they work for & get paid by the people, they shouldn't be controlled by politics & oligarchs.

Lucky_777@lemmy.world · 116 pts · 323d (4 replies)

That first guy that ran after him pulled something. Guess we'll be paying for him to be "sick" for about 3 weeks.

Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 40 pts · 323d (3 replies)

[ removed ]

veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 322d (1 reply)

Sounds like someone turned into an illegal Mexican

Marshezezz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 322d

[ removed ]

Chivera@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d

Go tax exempt. We should all stop paying into the system

gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world · 100 pts · 323d (7 replies)

Future pizza delivery guy outruns fascist enforcers sounds like an awesome low budget 80s movie but it's not that much fun to actually live through

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 322d (3 replies)

It'd start good, but then there'd be chapter after chapter of exposition about the Sumerian language.

DreadPirateShawn@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 322d

As someone who loves linguistics, you're just saying that it starts good and then continues good. :-D

lambalicious@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 322d

So it improves.

Good.

Hard to find movies that do that nowadays.

skulblaka@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 321d

Sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who genuinely enjoyed Snow Crash from cover to cover and it makes me wonder if my media literacy is suffering

zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 322d

Reminds me of the first chapter of Snow Crash.

Cataphract@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 322d (1 reply)

There is Smokey and the Bandit which is another example of the irony of the south.

F_State@midwest.social · 3 pts · 322d

Smokey and the Bandito

Zombiepirate@lemmy.world · 92 pts · 323d (26 replies)

You can tell the cowpoke in the cowboy hat is an expert tracker.

I'm sure this delivery guy was super dangerous by the way he was out in public without lilly-white skin.

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 323d (25 replies)

*lillly

Maeve@kbin.earth · 5 pts · 323d (24 replies)

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lily

https://www.lilly.com/

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · -3 pts · 323d (23 replies)

I'm not the one who needs that information.

Maeve@kbin.earth · -2 pts · 323d (22 replies)

SpaceNoodle , 1 hour ago *lillly

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 323d (21 replies)

Did you even read the comment I was replying to?

Maeve@kbin.earth · 3 pts · 323d (20 replies)

Yes, and how it appeared to me was the commenter corrected spelling based on your correction.

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 322d

The comment originally, and still has, two Ls.

Do you honestly think someone out there thinks that three is correct?

NGram@piefed.ca · 81 pts · 323d (4 replies)

Somebody needs to add yakety sax (aka Benny Hill theme) to it

EDIT: Nevermind somebody already did https://bsky.app/profile/luftkraftpikk.bsky.social/post/3lzwu6e7evk26

derry@midwest.social · 16 pts · 323d

Thank you so much, I needed to see this

Blackfeathr@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 323d

This brightened my day, thank you

Steve@startrek.website · 13 pts · 322d

It would be funny if it wasnt so horrible

avidamoeba@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 322d

This is incredible.

Curmuffin@fedia.io · 61 pts · 323d (8 replies)

Meal Team Six is (*huff*-*puff*) on the (*pant*) case!

krashmo@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 322d (7 replies)

To be fair, although I'm not sure we need to be, each of them is probably carrying 60 lbs or more of military gear on their body. It's pretty hard to run at full speed with that much extra weight. That info might come in handy in the future, so long as they don't just start shooting if you run away.

SpookyLights@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 322d (5 replies)

[ removed ]

krashmo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d (4 replies)

I'm in decent shape and I couldn't run at full speed with that much weight on me. I do a fair amount of backpacking in the mountains with a 50 lb pack on my back so that isn't conjecture either, I've tried it recently.

Simple physics says you'd also have a harder time starting, stopping, and turning than an unencumbered person. Perhaps you are an exceptional athlete who truly wouldn't be bothered by the extra weight but I don't think that would apply to the vast majority of people. Your average person would definitely struggle and I doubt most ICE agents are going to fall into the exceptional category of anything but racism and moral bankruptcy.

SpookyLights@lemmy.ca · -1 pts · 321d (3 replies)

[ removed ]

krashmo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d

Normal movement and sprinting at full speed are not the same things.
Even your exaggerated example requires 6 months of strenuous training to achieve by your own admission. The average person we've been discussing has not recently completed 6 months of military endurance training.

whereyaaat@lemmings.world · 0 pts · 321d (1 reply)

I don't believe you.

SpookyLights@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 320d

[ removed ]

ReiRose@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d

The one that makes me laugh the hardest is the guy that leans back as he runs fwd, with his weapon or something bouncing on his chest. Its so comical (he ends up far left when the cyclist gets away)

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 44 pts · 323d

If you aren't protesting ICE and have a bit of a safety net and a plan on how to deal with these idiots .... don't go anywhere near the US Gestapo because you'll be taken in and disappear.

RYS@lemmy.zip · 25 pts · 323d (1 reply)

[ removed ]

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 322d

"Ugh, don't make me run!"

SlippiHUD@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 322d (7 replies)

I don't even understand what prompted them to start chasing him. So little of this makes any sense.

Are they just chasing random pedestrians?

rumba@lemmy.zip · 33 pts · 322d (3 replies)

They are allowed to racially profile now. Yes, if you don't run in fear from them and your skin isn't the right shade of pink, they will arrest you and figure out if you're legal later.

This is 100% "papers please" nazi bullshit.

SlippiHUD@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 322d (1 reply)

Okay. So we're at Slave Catchers stage of repeating the run-up to the Civil War.

Apparently I was too focused on Trans issues, that I missed this escalation.

rumba@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 322d

Time flies...

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 322d

"Papiere, bitte"

SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 322d

Made this for you:

ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online · 11 pts · 321d

They are punk ass shitstains who think 'if we charge at someone and they run away they must be an illegal'. Nevermind that anyone would flee at the sight of their ugly asses even if they weren't in uniform.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 322d

"LOOK! THERE'S ONE! GET HIM!"

That was the entire mental effort that went into it.

madjo@feddit.nl · 20 pts · 322d (4 replies)

I thought the idea behind a uniform was that it was you know uniform. who the hell wears a stetson as official uniform hat?!

cdf12345@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 322d

These are the same guys that would cosplay special forces in full tacti-cool gear at Trump rally’s and counter protests.

Except now they’re getting a govt paycheck for their incompetence.

buddascrayon@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 322d

Dumbass Texans

rumba@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 322d

I'm honestly surprised someone doesn't start dressing like them and just infiltrate them.

klemptor@startrek.website · 2 pts · 322d

Raylan Givens wannabe.

onnekas@sopuli.xyz · 19 pts · 322d (8 replies)

Is this real? Why aren't they all opening fire? I thought this is America.

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 11 pts · 322d (1 reply)

Prob no bystanders to potentially get shot, they try to be efficient.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 322d

They don't care about bystanders, they just don't want the bad PR.

hayvan@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 322d

Skin not dark enough.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 322d

They've been instructed to not kill the detainees until they get back to the office. Bad optics.

kilgore_trout@feddit.it · -3 pts · 322d (3 replies)

The cyclist has not done anything at all. It would not even be hard, but straight-out impossible to justify.

onnekas@sopuli.xyz · 28 pts · 322d (1 reply)

It would not even be hard, but straight-out impossible to justify.

It would be so cool if that would stop police from shooting people.

cdf12345@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 322d

The problem is:

THEY DONT GIVE A FUCK.

If they’re wrong nothing happens to them, plus you might spend weeks or months in an ICE detention facility, maybe one across country. Which is fun because than your family and friends have no idea were you are.

Maybe you’re lucky enough to be deported to third party countries that you’ve never been to or have any ties to.

Then you’re at the mercy of their prison system, and so far the countries they’re sending people to don’t have great records.

Since we can’t identify the agents because the pussies are masked and have no ID. There are zero repercussions to them fucking up.

T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d

They've done it before lol

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 15 pts · 322d

... multiple highly-trained ppl didn't catch some dude pushing a delivery bike?

At some point it's not even running away from ICE, it's just like casually crossing the street away from a slow moving (fascist, for some reason) zombies.

ook@discuss.tchncs.de · 14 pts · 322d (2 replies)

[ removed ]

F_State@midwest.social · 8 pts · 322d (1 reply)

No one is safe from the Gestapo

Lumisal@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d

*Gazpacho

Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 12 pts · 322d

At least this explains why my Giordano’s delivery was late.

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 11 pts · 322d (2 replies)

Ban on foldable bikes incoming ...

Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 321d (1 reply)

I think you mean radical leftist folding bikes.