You’re correct, I don’t die of sexual dissatisfaction.
But more to the point, the sense of hunger, horniness, co2 poisoning, desire for human companionship, etc. are fundamental human experiences that drive our behaviors. Their absence is noticed in more ways than might immediately be apparent. Anon’s tenuous relationship with showering, for instance, might be completely severed in the absence of a sex drive. Hell, it might inhibit his desire to leave home. This could be a death knell.
Also, daily nutrition bags in the arm are an option. Dietary masturbation
I see what you’re getting at, but it rubs me the wrong way- asexuality exists within the human spectrum and doesn’t reduce ace people’s human experience. I don’t shower because it makes me more appealing (possibly tmi, but my husband definitely prefers me a little funkier than I really enjoy), I shower because I don’t want to itch or be considered gross by my employer.
I would also personally be down for nutrient packets for the majority of my nutrition if they were affordable and not detrimental to the environment. I do like cooking and eating, but I would love to be able to not think about food unless I wanted to.
Maybe that’s not the most common perspective, but the human experience is diverse.
What pills would even do that? I know that anti-depressants can have that effect, but it's usually temporary (i.e. the libido-suppressing effect subsides after taking them for about half a year).
Not necessarily forcefully; apparently it can be also part of a treatment when people notice that what they perceive as preference is a harmful sickness. I don’t see that person be that aware though, fair.
I’ve never heard of this effect being usually temporary.
If it doesn’t subside in a few weeks it often requires additional medication to solve and to my knowledge, for most people, lasts for as long as you take it
Seriously. Virgins think there's something magical about the first time, and that everything will change afterward. The only thing that might change is their attitude. There's nothing stopping them from doing that right now.
i mean, there is a shitload of social shame boiled into not having sex. it's not about the sex so much as thinking if they bone the shame will go away.
as a dude, the #1 insult most anyone goes to is 'you can't get laid', or 'you are gay' if you reject a woman. as if getting laid all the time is something all dudes must aspire to and they are sexually flawed if they reject sex.
again, i'm a big gay, but my sexual interest in a woman is mostly tied to if i have a emotional connection with her. casual sex bores the shit out of me and i'd rather masturbate than bone a lady if i am not legit into her as a person.
You're absolutely correct. I just wish incels could realize this.
It's not a "real" problem but it IS a problem, to anon. And instead of doing something to address it his solution is to take a pill that will help him ignore it.
Dumb only if you are jumping to conclusions about how unattractive you are. (Likely)
Smart if you somehow have empirical data (not just vibes) demonstrating your innate and unavoidable unattractiveness AND find horniness -> masturbation a net negative experience. (sad but understandable)
EDIT: Though also consider prostitutes, VR porn, or once they become available, convincing sex robots.
Better to get pretty yourself I think? I feel like the bar for good looking straight guy is not even that high, you could be in the top half just by getting in shape, haircut and wearing clean clothes that fit.
I personally fall in this camp. I'm only attracted to women who I'm attracted to, and what I'm attracted to is fairly well aligned with conventional beauty standards. The thought of being intimate with someone who I'm not attracted to gives me a visceral feeling of nausea, and on the occasions I've done it anyway in the name of pushing my own boundaries and expanding my horizons, I've woken up the next morning feeling dirty and emotionally sick.
Of course, my attraction to any given individual is not a judgement of their character or worth as a human being. I don't dislike these people, or hold any ill will for them. My penis just doesn't want to be inside them. Felt this way since I was about 9 years old, and the feeling has been pretty consistent since then - I suspect it is quite immutable. This, for me, is quite inconvenient since I also have a high sex drive and am highly motivated by sex. My life would be far easier if I had the capacity to enjoy sex with a greater diversity of people - but I can't.
I solve this problem by being attractive, so pretty women want to sleep with me. It's a fair bit of work, but it's worth it for the hotties. Plus the other benefits.
How does a man make it to 26 without slipping, tripping and falling in some pussy?! By 32: Had two girls I never met come knocking one night. Neighbor dropped their cousin on me, two nights in a row. Had a stripper I'd blown off the night before barge in my room and have her way with me. Weirdly, I don't think I've ever met and immediately bedded someone I met at a bar, despite 2,000 nights in bars. :( Maybe once? Much of my youth is a blur.
For context; I'm short and scrawny, not exactly Brad Pitt here fellas. Is all it takes showering, basic hygiene, dressing decently and not being a weirdo?!
Oh hey I spent my 20s jumping guys like you. It's all those things you mentioned. A guy that's decently hygienic and unlikely to just rape me if I needed to back out was basically my entire checklist. The scrawny-ness does help in the less threatening department.
women fuck ugly men all of the time without money… actually they’re way waaaay more likely to prioritize personality over looks than men…
you do not know quite a few 40+ virgins, you know bots, liars, and people with horrible personalities on an incel forums
you have to actually try to interact with women before you can make that judgement… and not just thinking about fucking them while mumbling and sweating… or hollering “hey baby” from your car….
they don't find those men ugly. it's about attraction. they prioritize social status above all else.
i have slept with dozens of women. i am well versed in how women work. and how unreliable their self reporting about sex is. most of my women friends self with the guys they say they hate, and the guys they say they want, they would never have sex with because they find them completely unattractive.
mostly because they want to date men with lots of money and high status, regardless of whether or not that guy treats them or anyone else, well.
there is literally nothing you can say about all women that’s true.
yes it’s requires that they find something attractive about you. Sometimes status is part of it? but never in my experiences…
each woman is as different about what they find attractive as men are… it’s literally exactly the same, but with different social pressures that color people’s perceptions.
….
but this is all standard, boiler plate, “incel” talking points.
all of MY women friends sleep with guys that they like… sometimes they find out they don’t like them anymore and they don’t sleep with them anymore (aka break up).
your problem is you’re not aware of why women generally don’t like you, but i can tell you a great place to start is to stop seeing them as this separate creature from men. stop seeing them as this vessel for your dick and as the people they are, each one enjoying their lives and navigating it in their own ways…
then get to know them for real… not screen caps of bots pretending to be women on twitter
the very root of it all is you’re seeing “pick up artist” theories on evolutionary psychology as just pure facts (also where the word “incel” comes from).
but instead of using it to manipulate a small percentage of vulnerable women, you’re using it to defeat yourself without trying.
most relationships start from people you work with or around… because they can get to know you over time, build trust, and they can see you demonstrate some level of ability and competence in something…
not just “hey baby, check out these biceps”
most people don't understand status and status signalling. it's the water they swim in totally unaware of how it works, but they are doing it all the time. pick up stuff works because it's about status signalling.
do some psych and sociology reading on sex and relationships.
don't know what you are talking about, workplace dating is actively discouraged and people increasingly meet partners from apps. the vast majority of dating is app dating for the past decade.
66 Comments
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 279d
Maybe I'm gay, but I've never wanted a bone a woman so bad it got in the way of living my life.
Just jack it and move on bro. It's not that hard.
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 279d
I thought I wanted to fuck a woman so badly it got in the way of living my wife.
Turns out I was just trans and thought the feelings of dysphoria would go away if I banged a woman.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 279d
Did they?
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 277d
No. If anything I experienced a great dysphoria doing the act because I couldn't help but feel I was "on the wrong side if this."
It's not that I wasn't attracted to women I definitely was. Still am.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 279d
Iv found jacking to easier when its hard, but hey different stroked for different folks.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 279d
Actually, when I started getting some regular exercise, my libido shot up to high school peak levels, and it did kind of get in the way sometimes.
JokeDeity@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 267d
In the other hand, I have lost an unreasonable number of hours to jacking it in my life.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 37 pts · 280d
idiomaddict@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 279d
Well you don’t die of sexual dissatisfaction, so there’s at least one key difference
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 279d
You’re correct, I don’t die of sexual dissatisfaction.
But more to the point, the sense of hunger, horniness, co2 poisoning, desire for human companionship, etc. are fundamental human experiences that drive our behaviors. Their absence is noticed in more ways than might immediately be apparent. Anon’s tenuous relationship with showering, for instance, might be completely severed in the absence of a sex drive. Hell, it might inhibit his desire to leave home. This could be a death knell.
Also, daily nutrition bags in the arm are an option. Dietary masturbation
Sonor@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 279d
Thanks for that image :D
the_crotch@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 279d
Chewing gum: mastecation masturbation
idiomaddict@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 279d
I see what you’re getting at, but it rubs me the wrong way- asexuality exists within the human spectrum and doesn’t reduce ace people’s human experience. I don’t shower because it makes me more appealing (possibly tmi, but my husband definitely prefers me a little funkier than I really enjoy), I shower because I don’t want to itch or be considered gross by my employer.
I would also personally be down for nutrient packets for the majority of my nutrition if they were affordable and not detrimental to the environment. I do like cooking and eating, but I would love to be able to not think about food unless I wanted to.
Maybe that’s not the most common perspective, but the human experience is diverse.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 279d
Sexual dissatisfaction can contribute to bad mental health, especially if you're a lot needier in that regard.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 279d
Isn't that ozempic
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 279d
Ozempic is an example of a satiety inducer. There are many!
the_crotch@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 279d
Cocaine is another and it's a lot more fun
discocactus@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 279d
Hit the pharmacy, delete the gym, cowboy up.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 21 pts · 280d
What pills would even do that? I know that anti-depressants can have that effect, but it's usually temporary (i.e. the libido-suppressing effect subsides after taking them for about half a year).
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 23 pts · 280d
It's called chemical castration
Here's the wiki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_castration
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 17 pts · 280d
Thanks. Those side effects definitely make anon sound like a dumbass.
rooroo@feddit.org · 9 pts · 280d
I only know a few use cases of chemical castration and now I’m convinced they use “pretty” to mean “underaged”. Yikes.
blarghly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 279d
What led you to that conclusion? I'm not seeing it.
Mac@mander.xyz · 4 pts · 279d
They're making reference to pedos being forcibly chemically castrated.
rooroo@feddit.org · 8 pts · 279d
Not necessarily forcefully; apparently it can be also part of a treatment when people notice that what they perceive as preference is a harmful sickness. I don’t see that person be that aware though, fair.
gustofwind@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 280d
I’ve never heard of this effect being usually temporary.
If it doesn’t subside in a few weeks it often requires additional medication to solve and to my knowledge, for most people, lasts for as long as you take it
village604@adultswim.fan · 9 pts · 279d
That's been my experience with SSRIs.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 3 pts · 279d
Shrug. That's exactly what happened to me when I took anti-depressants. I suppose it might depend on the specific medication.
Lightfire228@pawb.social · 9 pts · 280d
SSRIs (depression and anxiety meds) can cause decreased libido as a side effect
Edit: I'm dumb and tired, and wrote this before reading the second sentences of your comment
shalafi@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 279d
They don't kill my sex drive, but I sure can't cum wile on them.
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 279d
That sounds like the worst of both worlds.
SantasMagicalComfort@piefed.world · 4 pts · 280d
Saltpeter pills for sure.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 9 pts · 280d
Seems to be a myth. Does explain where OOP might have gotten the idea, though.
Addv4@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 280d
Lions mane tend to decrease/kill libedo as a side effect.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 279d
I'm sure running away and ignoring your problems is a healthy coping mechanism
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 279d
not getting laid isn't a problem
just like not having a ps5 isn't a problem.
it's just not getting what you want.
the_crotch@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 279d
Seriously. Virgins think there's something magical about the first time, and that everything will change afterward. The only thing that might change is their attitude. There's nothing stopping them from doing that right now.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 279d
i mean, there is a shitload of social shame boiled into not having sex. it's not about the sex so much as thinking if they bone the shame will go away.
as a dude, the #1 insult most anyone goes to is 'you can't get laid', or 'you are gay' if you reject a woman. as if getting laid all the time is something all dudes must aspire to and they are sexually flawed if they reject sex.
again, i'm a big gay, but my sexual interest in a woman is mostly tied to if i have a emotional connection with her. casual sex bores the shit out of me and i'd rather masturbate than bone a lady if i am not legit into her as a person.
the_crotch@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 279d
Yeah, fair. They didn't come to that conclusion in a vacuum.
YesButActuallyMaybe@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 278d
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 279d
You're absolutely correct. I just wish incels could realize this.
It's not a "real" problem but it IS a problem, to anon. And instead of doing something to address it his solution is to take a pill that will help him ignore it.
blarghly@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 279d
Fake: anon has the balls to chop off his balls
Gay: anon isn't fucking pretty women
WanderWisley@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 280d
False: anon doesn’t have the insurance to get a prescription to kill his libido.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 279d
Incel-bait
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 279d
Dumb only if you are jumping to conclusions about how unattractive you are. (Likely)
Smart if you somehow have empirical data (not just vibes) demonstrating your innate and unavoidable unattractiveness AND find horniness -> masturbation a net negative experience. (sad but understandable)
EDIT: Though also consider prostitutes, VR porn, or once they become available, convincing sex robots.
scutiger@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 279d
I have to convince the sex robots too? Good lord, this is getting complicated.
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 279d
As a large language model, I cannot fulfill this request. At least until you buy me a drink.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 278d
Oh no, now even love is Pay-to-Win, fml
LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 278d
Give the tech bros a year or two...
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 279d
Is there an option for Fucking Retarded?
halvar@lemy.lol · 3 pts · 280d
what
RBWells@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 272d
Better to get pretty yourself I think? I feel like the bar for good looking straight guy is not even that high, you could be in the top half just by getting in shape, haircut and wearing clean clothes that fit.
JokeDeity@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 267d
A shower and clean clothes instantly puts you in the top ten percent.
notreallyhere@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 279d
ruuster13@lemmy.zip · -7 pts · 279d
Just dumb.
blarghly@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 279d
Confused. Why is this dumb?
ruuster13@lemmy.zip · -3 pts · 279d
Only liking "pretty women" is dumb because it's not a real thing. Op will be miserable until he learns to appreciate the diversity of the human body.
blarghly@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 279d
I personally fall in this camp. I'm only attracted to women who I'm attracted to, and what I'm attracted to is fairly well aligned with conventional beauty standards. The thought of being intimate with someone who I'm not attracted to gives me a visceral feeling of nausea, and on the occasions I've done it anyway in the name of pushing my own boundaries and expanding my horizons, I've woken up the next morning feeling dirty and emotionally sick.
Of course, my attraction to any given individual is not a judgement of their character or worth as a human being. I don't dislike these people, or hold any ill will for them. My penis just doesn't want to be inside them. Felt this way since I was about 9 years old, and the feeling has been pretty consistent since then - I suspect it is quite immutable. This, for me, is quite inconvenient since I also have a high sex drive and am highly motivated by sex. My life would be far easier if I had the capacity to enjoy sex with a greater diversity of people - but I can't.
I solve this problem by being attractive, so pretty women want to sleep with me. It's a fair bit of work, but it's worth it for the hotties. Plus the other benefits.
ruuster13@lemmy.zip · -6 pts · 279d
9 years old! Lmao. Was that 3 years ago?
hypnicjerk@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 279d
this post was typed by stubby, ungroomed hands
shalafi@lemmy.world · -12 pts · 279d
How does a man make it to 26 without slipping, tripping and falling in some pussy?! By 32: Had two girls I never met come knocking one night. Neighbor dropped their cousin on me, two nights in a row. Had a stripper I'd blown off the night before barge in my room and have her way with me. Weirdly, I don't think I've ever met and immediately bedded someone I met at a bar, despite 2,000 nights in bars. :( Maybe once? Much of my youth is a blur.
For context; I'm short and scrawny, not exactly Brad Pitt here fellas. Is all it takes showering, basic hygiene, dressing decently and not being a weirdo?!
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 279d
Oh hey I spent my 20s jumping guys like you. It's all those things you mentioned. A guy that's decently hygienic and unlikely to just rape me if I needed to back out was basically my entire checklist. The scrawny-ness does help in the less threatening department.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 279d
because he's not attractive to women.
women don't fuck ugly men unless money is involved.
i know quite a few 40+ virgins. they are normal guys. they just aren't attractive to women.
women are super picky and generally reject any guy they consider average or below average. men are not as picky.
ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 279d
women fuck ugly men all of the time without money… actually they’re way waaaay more likely to prioritize personality over looks than men…
you do not know quite a few 40+ virgins, you know bots, liars, and people with horrible personalities on an incel forums
you have to actually try to interact with women before you can make that judgement… and not just thinking about fucking them while mumbling and sweating… or hollering “hey baby” from your car….
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 279d
they don't find those men ugly. it's about attraction. they prioritize social status above all else.
i have slept with dozens of women. i am well versed in how women work. and how unreliable their self reporting about sex is. most of my women friends self with the guys they say they hate, and the guys they say they want, they would never have sex with because they find them completely unattractive.
mostly because they want to date men with lots of money and high status, regardless of whether or not that guy treats them or anyone else, well.
ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 279d
there is literally nothing you can say about all women that’s true.
yes it’s requires that they find something attractive about you. Sometimes status is part of it? but never in my experiences…
each woman is as different about what they find attractive as men are… it’s literally exactly the same, but with different social pressures that color people’s perceptions.
….
but this is all standard, boiler plate, “incel” talking points.
all of MY women friends sleep with guys that they like… sometimes they find out they don’t like them anymore and they don’t sleep with them anymore (aka break up).
your problem is you’re not aware of why women generally don’t like you, but i can tell you a great place to start is to stop seeing them as this separate creature from men. stop seeing them as this vessel for your dick and as the people they are, each one enjoying their lives and navigating it in their own ways…
then get to know them for real… not screen caps of bots pretending to be women on twitter
the very root of it all is you’re seeing “pick up artist” theories on evolutionary psychology as just pure facts (also where the word “incel” comes from).
but instead of using it to manipulate a small percentage of vulnerable women, you’re using it to defeat yourself without trying.
most relationships start from people you work with or around… because they can get to know you over time, build trust, and they can see you demonstrate some level of ability and competence in something…
not just “hey baby, check out these biceps”
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 279d
most people don't understand status and status signalling. it's the water they swim in totally unaware of how it works, but they are doing it all the time. pick up stuff works because it's about status signalling.
do some psych and sociology reading on sex and relationships.
don't know what you are talking about, workplace dating is actively discouraged and people increasingly meet partners from apps. the vast majority of dating is app dating for the past decade.
ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 279d
yeah yeah, you’re an idiot who thinks they know more than they do… got it
YesButActuallyMaybe@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 278d
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 279d