In that time the belief was that Jesus was perfect already when he was born, thus he was painted as an adult. This spread to other religious paintings containing children too, thus we have these creepy kids.
You see, infant mortality was very high, because instead of practicing good hygiene, people practiced pickling babies, and so only the most ripped and strong kids made it to 5.
An interesting side note I just discovered on Wikipedia:
The boots-filled-over-night tradition is based on another legend of him throwing gold pieces through the window of three poor daughters so that their dad doesn't have to force them to become prostitutes.
Didn't expect the roots of St.Nicholas traditions to be that dark...
Ok so he just let people starve instead of having them have even three measly pickled children. Fucking priests, the REAL Jesus would have turned those three kids into a pickled feast feeding at least five thousand.
Who said anything about depickling? Man, having those three kids running around smelling like garlic dills everywhere while everyone is starving... either this guy was trolling the fuck out of all the hungry fucks or just Uber eats?
Here in Flanders and to the north in the Netherlands we actually get told this story. Sinterklaas, who visits on the eve of the 5th (NL) or during the night (BE) is our OG Santa Claus.
For kids Sinterklaas is the main event, whereas Christmas is when you get given… socks. Last few years the focus seems to have shifted more to Christmas though.
Glad we got rid of ‘Zwartepiet’ though (Sinterklaas’s helpers). Think ‘elves’ except human-size, not-elf and with blackface.
I grew up attending international schools. Seeing my Dutch classmate dressed as zwartepiet getting called to the principal’s office is a core memory.
Nah mate they (used to maybe? idk) play that song to children in schools where I grew up. The song literally says that the butcher kills the children, chop them off and cure them in salt. I never saw it that way but it's quite a hardcore children song. I wonder if they still do that lol.
Other early stories tell of him calming a storm at sea, saving three innocent soldiers from wrongful execution, and chopping down a tree possessed by a demon.
Reason might be that it weren't kids in the variant of the legend the painting is based on, but a kind of medieval travelling clerics on their way to Athens. Says so in the German Wikipedia.
Medieval paintings didn't care for realistic size comparisons, so might well have been misinterpreted as kids in later times.
Is Santa Saint Nicholas of Myra? Because where I live, Nikolaus and Santa are two different entities. One has a bishop's rod and hands out candy at December 6th, the other drinks coca cola, rides a sleigh and hands out presents at Christmas.
Allegedly struck a guy over an argument about the hierarchy of the godhead. Although this is recognized as apocryphal, not showing up in accounts until hagiographies hundreds of years later.
I think the resurrection thing is probably true, though.
I just did some Wikipedia surfing on the topic.
Made clear to me again that the best way to classify Christian lore is as "High Fantasy".
The whole discussions happening in the years 400 AD sound like some classic nerd turf war.
Perhaps in 500 years there will be some religion based on Warhammer or so...
82 Comments
Nanook@lemmy.zip · 96 pts · 259d
Pickle Nick!
gasgiant@lemmy.ml · 62 pts · 258d
Those are some weird as fuck looking children.
EtnaAtsume@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 258d
You would look weird too if you had been through what they had!
lauha@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 258d
In that time the belief was that Jesus was perfect already when he was born, thus he was painted as an adult. This spread to other religious paintings containing children too, thus we have these creepy kids.
Dasus@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 258d
One of them has a fucking bald spot. :D
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 258d
Lol that one has back abs too!
Dasus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 258d
Bro's roid-routine is all over the place.
lauha@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d
I'm chuckling about the pickled children
SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org · 15 pts · 258d
I believe they're called homunculus. I couldn't find too much on them, but here's an article. https://www.thecollector.com/baby-jesus-in-medieval-religious-iconography
FishFace@piefed.social · 13 pts · 258d
They weren't children after all; they were adults and the pickling shrunk them
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 258d
They were brined.
Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 258d
They got better!
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 258d
That is what they looked like in the olden days.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 258d
You see, infant mortality was very high, because instead of practicing good hygiene, people practiced pickling babies, and so only the most ripped and strong kids made it to 5.
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 47 pts · 259d
An interesting side note I just discovered on Wikipedia:
The boots-filled-over-night tradition is based on another legend of him throwing gold pieces through the window of three poor daughters so that their dad doesn't have to force them to become prostitutes.
Didn't expect the roots of St.Nicholas traditions to be that dark...
WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 258d
Source.
Dasus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
The brick would weigh like 30kg.
Personally, I'd probably have to hire Anatoly to throw em if I wanted to do that.
MrNobody@quokk.au · 7 pts · 259d
I say we all take a leaf out of the conservative playbook and demand to bring back the real Santa.
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 259d
Not sure about that.
Traditional figures like Zwarte Piet might also reappear...
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 258d
Republicans in the US salivating for traditional celebrations....
Auli@lemmy.ca · 34 pts · 258d
Those children look like very wrong.
jjjalljs@ttrpg.network · 16 pts · 258d
We've all read Pet Semetary, right?
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 258d
Stop looking at their asses
Quill7513@slrpnk.net · 10 pts · 258d
i'm more looking at the chest hair
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 258d
it's the back abs, for me
BanMe@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 258d
The painter had never seen a child, so, I think he did a nice job.
Aralakh@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 258d
They remind me of Attack on Titan, but miniature.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 258d
Attack on a bunch of short dudes.
Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d
I hated them tiny ones.
Now I'm thinking of titans the size of these mabies, but with the strength of the titans.
tomiant@piefed.social · 24 pts · 258d
Ok so he just let people starve instead of having them have even three measly pickled children. Fucking priests, the REAL Jesus would have turned those three kids into a pickled feast feeding at least five thousand.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 258d
Don't worry, it's a made up story anyway
Sv443@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 258d
you mean to tell me there wasn't actually a depickling necromancer roaming the streets?
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 258d
Now I am imagining an anthropomorphic cucumber going around turning my pickles into seeds and planting them in soil.
Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 258d
That guy exists. His name is Rick.
embed_me@programming.dev · 3 pts · 258d
Never thought I'd see this combination of words in my lifetime
Mpatch@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
Who said anything about depickling? Man, having those three kids running around smelling like garlic dills everywhere while everyone is starving... either this guy was trolling the fuck out of all the hungry fucks or just Uber eats?
hayvan@feddit.nl · 23 pts · 258d
"resurrected the pickled children" goes hard.
Notyou@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 258d
Resurrected Pickled Children sounds like a good metal band.
lemon@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 258d
Here in Flanders and to the north in the Netherlands we actually get told this story. Sinterklaas, who visits on the eve of the 5th (NL) or during the night (BE) is our OG Santa Claus.
For kids Sinterklaas is the main event, whereas Christmas is when you get given… socks. Last few years the focus seems to have shifted more to Christmas though.
Glad we got rid of ‘Zwartepiet’ though (Sinterklaas’s helpers). Think ‘elves’ except human-size, not-elf and with blackface.
I grew up attending international schools. Seeing my Dutch classmate dressed as zwartepiet getting called to the principal’s office is a core memory.
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 258d
We also celebrate saint Nick on 5-6th of december. We never had the weird zwartepiet but Miklavž (ole Nick is accompanied by angels and krampus)
lemon@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 258d
Huh… TIL other countries do Sinterklaas as well. Miklavž… That’s Slovenian, going by the wikipedia page?
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
Yep. Christmas gifts are a thing but it's usually family member sgiving eachother cookies and some such
Gates9@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 258d
Whenever he’s brought up I never miss the opportunity to mention that he was from Türkiye
nagaram@startrek.website · 8 pts · 258d
TURKIYE MENTION 🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 258d
fuck now i want doner
Nariom@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 258d
Nah mate they (used to maybe? idk) play that song to children in schools where I grew up. The song literally says that the butcher kills the children, chop them off and cure them in salt. I never saw it that way but it's quite a hardcore children song. I wonder if they still do that lol.
edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas_Day
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 258d
Where are you from?
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 258d
I'm going to guess France
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 258d
Some Dutch person also mentioned that it is part of the story the kids get told.
ChairmanMeow@programming.dev · 6 pts · 258d
I'm fairly certain only a small subset of (religious) children are told that story. It's not a part of the 'normal' stories at least.
Quill7513@slrpnk.net · 16 pts · 258d
he also got into a fist fight at the nicean council
MintyFresh@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 258d
From the Wikipedia page for Saint Nicholas
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 258d
Which he then turned into a toy car and gave to my kids to play with. Cause I fucking swear my kids are possessed.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 258d
Last one is just plot of Samurai Jack.
theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 258d
His necromancer career lacked longevity which is a key metric to determine memory.
MrNobody@quokk.au · 13 pts · 259d
1 going on 30 with those bald spots.
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 258d
Reason might be that it weren't kids in the variant of the legend the painting is based on, but a kind of medieval travelling clerics on their way to Athens. Says so in the German Wikipedia.
Medieval paintings didn't care for realistic size comparisons, so might well have been misinterpreted as kids in later times.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 258d
Maybe St. Nick half-assed the sign of the cross. So when the traveling clerics were resurrected, they got resurrected in fun sized.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 258d
why is it called "fun" sized?
Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 258d
Because "lesser portion" doesn't hit the same.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 258d
Renaissance Artist Draw An Actual Child Challenge: Impossible
floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 258d
"The pickled children" sounds like a metal band name
Floodedwomb@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 258d
I was gonna say St. Nick and the Pickled Children and call it a garage band.
ApeNo1@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 258d
Saint Picholas
RattlerSix@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 258d
Santa also punched a dude at the Council of Nicea
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org · 5 pts · 258d
Is Santa Saint Nicholas of Myra? Because where I live, Nikolaus and Santa are two different entities. One has a bishop's rod and hands out candy at December 6th, the other drinks coca cola, rides a sleigh and hands out presents at Christmas.
Revan343@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 258d
Well they have the same name...
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d
Allegedly struck a guy over an argument about the hierarchy of the godhead. Although this is recognized as apocryphal, not showing up in accounts until hagiographies hundreds of years later.
I think the resurrection thing is probably true, though.
Godort@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 259d
There was also that time he slapped a bishop for teaching the heresy that Jesus was less than God
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 0 pts · 258d
As god is generally regarded as the trinity of Father, Son and Holy Ghost, that other bishop wasn't wrong though...
smeg@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 258d
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 258d
ls that also some theologial schism topic? Damn, it sure is complicated... :-)
zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 258d
Careful, now
_Nico198X_@europe.pub · 2 pts · 258d
he was wrong. see the Nicean-Constantipolitan Creed.
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 258d
I just did some Wikipedia surfing on the topic.
Made clear to me again that the best way to classify Christian lore is as "High Fantasy".
The whole discussions happening in the years 400 AD sound like some classic nerd turf war.
Perhaps in 500 years there will be some religion based on Warhammer or so...
Dasus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
Post-hoc rationalisation to make the irrational less so.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 258d
Remember when Christians used to care for the hungry?
flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 258d
He also lived in what is today Turkey, and has probably never seen a reindeer.
The Santa job required relocation and new means of transportation.
Dasus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
Also his reindeer are all female, as they have antlers in wintertime.
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 258d
That was a pre-jolly Saint Nicholas.
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 259d
Wow...
The 6th of December could have a soooo much different character... 😆
I also just realized that I have only 2 days left to buy some sweets and stuff to put into my kid's boots.
neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 258d
Those babies are ripped AF
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 258d
gotta love medieval babies with sixpacks