Dev creates astrology-powered CPU scheduler for Linux, makes decisions based on planetary positions and zodiac signs — sched_ext framework informed by lunar phases, cosmic weather reports, and dynamic

https://www.tomshardware.com/software/linux/dev-creates-astrology-powered-cpu-scheduler-for-linux-makes-decisions-based-on-planetary-positions-and-zodiac-signs-sched-ext-framework-informed-by-lunar-phases-cosmic-weather-reports-and-dynamic-time-slicing

‘Why let mere mortals decide CPU priorities when the cosmos can guide us?’ asks the developer.

To be clear, the point of this is to demonstrate the power and flexibility of a new Linux feature in a "haha only serious" way.

Zampieri is clear that this GPL-2.0 licensed project is a “scientifically dubious, cosmically hilarious” work. It definitely isn’t recommended for use in production systems - not because of bugs, but because it works as intended… The dev is still looking to add “more cosmic chaos” to scx_horoscope, so contributors are welcome.

337 points · 28 comments · view on lemmy.world

28 Comments

BoiLudens@lemmy.world · 94 pts · 224d

Finally, my handbrake renders will complete when the stars literally align

foggy@lemmy.world · 75 pts · 224d (1 reply)

Great, now my PC can be temperamental because mercury is in retrograde.

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 52 pts · 224d

This is exactly why I switched to LibraOffice.

justsomeguy@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 224d (2 replies)

We shouldn't stop with the kernel but also apply this to our workflows.

PM sends you an invitation to a meeting? Venus says no.

I want cosmic chaos in my work day.

hansolo@lemmy.today · 18 pts · 224d (1 reply)

Chaos nothing. Can you imagine a week with zero meetings because your seventh house of Saturn or whatever says it's a bad week for collaboration? Amd this isn't random movements. You can plan around this for years.

If anything this might actually be a way to introduce seemingly random prohibitions or days in which you only do certain things. Honestly, that doesn't sound terrible.

ellen.kimble@piefed.social · 2 pts · 222d

I mean that’s kind of the point of astrology, energy ebbs and flows in different houses or areas of life. You just become aware of the energy so you can maximize it rather than fall into the shadow versions of it. Morally it’s not good or bad energy, it’s just energy.

NaoPb@eviltoast.org · 35 pts · 224d (1 reply)

This gives me a sort of Temple OS vibe. I have a feeling this developer will soon develop his own operating system based on Zodiac signs.

polariscap@lemmy.cafe · 1 pts · 223d

I’m into it honestly 🥲

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 32 pts · 224d (4 replies)

This is how hippie chicks start using linux

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 224d (2 replies)

And I'm all for it

Infrapink@thebrainbin.org · 4 pts · 223d (1 reply)

I am also in favour of hippie chicks using Linux.

And also hippie dudes, to be clear. And hippie whatever the non binary version of dudes is.

eleijeep@piefed.social · 6 pts · 223d

whatever the non binary version of dudes is

I believe the term is “enbies.”

ellen.kimble@piefed.social · 3 pts · 222d

Too late

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 224d

This is art

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 18 pts · 224d (1 reply)

The feature list is where the most fun is had

https://github.com/zampierilucas/scx_horoscope?tab=readme-ov-file#features

  • Retrograde Detection
  • Lunar Phase Scheduling 😂 etc...
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 221d

Don't skip their ASTROLOGY.md if you want to minmax your playthrough.
https://github.com/zampierilucas/scx_horoscope/blob/master/ASTROLOGY.md

Sadly I have too much processors to run it.

Source code shows up to 1024 CPUs supported

rem26_art@fedia.io · 17 pts · 224d (2 replies)

Boss: "Have you finished that new feature yet? The deadline's coming up and the client is getting concerned" Lowly Mortal Programmer: "Sry, you're gonna have to tell the client that Mercury is in retrograde at least until this time next Earth-year"

Infrapink@thebrainbin.org · 8 pts · 223d

Boss:Ugh, fine, are we talking tropical, sidereal, or anomalistic years?

ellen.kimble@piefed.social · 2 pts · 222d

Silly mortal, Mercury is retrograde four weeks at a time 3-4 times a year

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 224d (2 replies)

Oh dear god.

So they've functionally formalized a specific variant of astrology.

... At least it would be consistent in how it is ridiculous, unlike 99.99% of current day astrologers.

Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 221d (1 reply)

Github notes tingle the strategy games side of my brain.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 221d

Shit like this is how we accidentally end up making 'magic' real, 100 or 1000 years in the future when are back to only 5% of the population being any kind of literate, and 'everything is computer', or at least computer relics.

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 224d

OP, you should cross post this to /c/programmer_humor@lemmy.dev, because this is hilarious

Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 224d

So more stable than windows 11? What happens to the cpu when the moon is full and you click on the start menu?

peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 224d

I'm a Capricorn so... You know.

AntiBullyRanger@ani.social · 3 pts · 224d

🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️Zampieri. I haven't had the free time and finances to do this. Now can shorten my banterposting.

inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 224d (1 reply)

Man, better hope that realtime linux developers don't have a prankster nature.

wesdym@mastodon.social · 1 pts · 224d

@inclementimmigrant I've never met one who doesn't.