ALT Text: Scene is WAITROSE. Behind it is a staff member, whose name we will soon learn is BECKY. She is dealing with a customer, for now out of shot, while talking to her manager on the phone.
BECKY [on phone]: Yeah, hiya...
2 BECKY: Yes I have a customer here who wants to complain about the Easter eggs.
3 BECKY [putting hand over receiver while addressing the customer stood at the desk in front of her]: Sorry what was your name again?
4 [Pull back to show the customer is a very tall, green-skinned, PAGAN GODDESS, festooned with flowers. Stood next to her is her son, a normal human teenager in a hoodie, who looks mortified by his mum.]
PAGAN GODDESS: Eostre the Pagan Goddess of Fertility
5 BECKY Sorry - Your name is Easter…?
PAGAN GODDESS: Eostre.
6
[Vicky pauses, trying to take this in].
VICKY: Your name is Easter and you want to complain about the Easter eggs.
7 PAGAN GODDESS: Sorry love, what’s your name?
BECKY: Becky
PAGAN GODDESS: Well, Vicky -
8 PAGAN GODDESS: If it was you who’d shagged the solar god of the Equinox to give birth to an actual living god - my son Darren here -
TEENAGE BOY: Muuum…
9 PAGAN GODDESS: ….only to have all your efforts totally forgotten by history, you’d have a complaint too!
10 PAGAN GODDESS: Aisle four is full of products, with no hint of the true meaning of the festival!
11 BECKY: You mean… Jesus…?
PAGAN GODDESS: I mean shagging, Vicky.
12 PAGAN GODDESS: Is it too much to see just a little bit of pre-Christian sex in Aisle 4?
83 Comments
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 78 pts · 149d
Baaaased
SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz · 42 pts · 149d
Slightly differs from the actual comic, though.
"Give birth to Spring itself" and "hang on, Spring" vs "give birth to an actual living god - my son Darren here"
And ends with TEENAGE BOY: MUUUUM
ech@lemmy.ca · 29 pts · 149d
Methinks it was generated. Shame.
ccunning@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 149d
I got the comic and the Alt Text from this mastodon post which specifically says the author does the alt text himself. I couldn’t find evidence of that though I didn’t look tooooo hard…
ech@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 149d
Hmmm, maybe they were going off an earlier script *shrug*
SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz · 8 pts · 149d
Entirely plausible.
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 149d
It also says he's a "normal human teenager," which he clearly is not.
SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 149d
Point; I meant to include that one. Is also green like mum but wearing a hoody.
Tiresia@slrpnk.net · 72 pts · 149d
What better way to symbolize shagging in a kid-friendly way than an egg hunt? Look at all those little sperms go, trying to find the egg as quickly as possible after all being released at the same time?
starchylemming@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 149d
mind🤯blown
metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub · 7 pts · 149d
It's a nice idea, but eggs were associated with the Christian Easter (Pascha in Latin, which is roughly the name for Easter in most countries that celebrate it), probably as a custom from Persia going through to what's now Eastern Orthodoxy and from there to Catholics/Protestants as a way to celebrate the end of Lent (eggs being prohibited during that time). It's still possible it was also Pagan and forgotten, decorating eggs is at least 60k years old, but its association with Easter was only (re-?) initiated through Christianity.
1dalm@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 149d
They don't care. They need their anti-intellectualism as badly as fundamentalist Christians.
Semjeza@fedinsfw.app · 1 pts · 148d
The thousands of years old tradition from non-Abrahamic Persia, (in fact a proto-IE region with shared religious rites with Slavic, Celtic and Germanic Europe), predating not only the splits of Christianity into Eastern Orthodox and Other, but of Christianity actually existing, doesn't show it was a Pagan tradition?
What else do you call non-Abrahamic religious rites?
(And apparently new evidence has since backed up Bede's account of Pagan Oestra in the British Isles, too.)
tiramichu@sh.itjust.works · 70 pts · 149d
I love the passive-aggressive move of Ēostre intentionally getting Becky's name wrong in return
ccunning@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 149d
Vicky had it coming tbh…
JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social · 31 pts · 149d
Interesting stuff!
More:
https://imginn.com/stephencollinscomics/
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 149d
Think of all of the millions that Christians butchered over this... then, they destroyed every single trace of any other religion, erasing centuries of cultural history.
Today, Catholics alone own over 170 million acres of land, much of it stolen from those same people, and they enjoy tax-free status all over the world. Horrifying.
ech@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 149d
That's not even a checkout line, so the man behind Spring is just there to watch the drama.
rapchee@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 149d
"normal human teenager" hmmmmmmmm
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 149d
Was eoster really worshipped? I thought they were just made up.
Davel23@fedia.io · 66 pts · 149d
Fun Fact: They're all made up.
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 149d
🤣.
This will sound insensitive but I look at the Bible like I look at Harry Potter or Lord of the rings.
addiks@feddit.org · 19 pts · 149d
Be careful saying things like that, you might summon the wrath of the zealots upon yourself. Lord of the Rings fans are not to be messed with.
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 149d
That's fair. I mean lord of the rings is a fictional novel, is all I was getting at.
nonfuinoncuro@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 149d
just way more thought put into character development and continuity and overall a much better read
Deceptichum@quokk.au · 17 pts · 149d
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 149d
Sorry 😔
Tehhund@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 149d
The Bible is more like of you took HP, LotR, and 20 other series and mashed them together.
greyscale@lemmy.grey.ooo · 8 pts · 149d
the bible has multiple books of fanfic
The mormon dlc is all fan service
Its all fictive.
Sergio@piefed.social · 2 pts · 149d
I remember on old email lists you used to get "digests" of a day's worth of emails all in one. That's what the Bible is.
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 149d
Nah. The bible is more like Robin Hood or Asterix.
metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 149d
There's some evidence Eostre (or Ostara, Austra, definitely Aušrinė in Lithuania) was worshipped, but the evidence is scant and mostly based on linguistic reconstruction by Grimm in the 19th century. There is evidence of votive offerings to the "Austriahenae" (a collection of matron goddesses) discovered in 1958, but little else.
Semjeza@fedinsfw.app · 1 pts · 148d
There have been more discoveries since Grimm boys, and despite earlier scepticism scholars are now mostly accepting that there was an Eostre diety worshipped in Europe around the Spring Equinox.
Semjeza@fedinsfw.app · 0 pts · 148d
New findings and archeo-lingustics have supported Grimms and Bede, so the existence (culturally) and worship of Oestra (or however your 1000BC Celto-Germanic language spelt it) is now generally accepted by scholars (and anyone who isn't pushing an anti-intellectual, and often antisemitic, "war on Christianity" agenda).
balderdash9@lemmy.zip · -3 pts · 148d
No, people are just anti Christianity circle jerking because it's a religious holiday
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 149d
Without checking, I think it's only called Easter in the UK, everywhere else in Europe uses a derivation of passover
altasshet@lemmy.ca · 23 pts · 149d
Pretty sure the German "Ostern" has the same root. As I understand it, Passover is a completely different (Jewish?) holiday?
Almonds@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 149d
My family celebrated both Passover and Easter for a few years. We were not Jewish, although we do have some distant Ashkenazi ancestry.
There was a trend for a while for people to "prove" their devoutness as Christians or Catholics by celebrating Jewish traditions because they gave rise to Christianity. It was weird
Cethin@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 149d
Well, their religion is centered around a Jew. If you want to do as Jesus would have done then you celebrate the Jewish traditions.
Almonds@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 149d
I mean, it was very performative and it felt more like a novelty with how shallow it was. That's what was weird, there wasn't respect towards the traditions or an attempt to gain an understanding of the history of the faith or closeness with god.
I suppose looking back all of the traditions we practiced felt performative lol
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 149d
When Jesus (a Jew) celebrated the last supper it was the passover holiday, so called the last supper because He would be arrested and crucified soon after
Gladaed@feddit.org · 2 pts · 149d
Colonial ambition of the bad tea people showing once again.
Not like parts of Germany weren't ruled by their monarchs in the past.
/s
Deckname@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 149d
Well more like britain was ruled by german aristocracy. The Windsor's are actually descendants of the House Hannover.
Seems like you have fallen to the colonial ambitions of the bad tea people too :)
Edit: correctly identified the british as bad tea people.
Gladaed@feddit.org · 2 pts · 149d
I am well aware. Glad to see someone didn't hesitate to call them the tea people, but let's be more honest and call them the bad tea people.
Deckname@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 149d
Sorry for mansplaining and well akshully-ing then :D
Yes. Totally forgot the bad in front of the tea people.
zzffyfajzkzhnsweqm@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 149d
In Slovenian it is called Big Night
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 149d
I wonder why? Do you know?
zzffyfajzkzhnsweqm@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 149d
I do not know. But days before are called Big Thursday, Big Friday and Big Saturday.
So Easter would be called Big Sunday, but is instead called Big Night. Could be because the Christ has risen in the night between Sutrday and Sunday.
fatalicus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 149d
Not derived from passover, but pesach.
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 149d
Which is the Jewish passover holiday right?
fatalicus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 149d
It is yes, but the etymology is from pesach.
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 149d
What does peseach mean?
Dicska@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 149d
In my language it means "meat taking" or "taking of the meat".
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 149d
That makes sense because it was traditional to not eat meat during lent
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 149d
The christians had to erase all that pagan culture somehow.
rapchee@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 149d
MT avagy ma tanultam
Dicska@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 149d
:D egy kedves ismerősömet juttatja eszembe, akinek huszonévesen esett le, hogy a tökmag attól tökmag, hogy a töknek a magja.
Blackmist@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 149d
Fnar.
Dicska@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 149d
: ) I swear it doesn't sound the same in original : ).
echodot@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 149d
Passover is a Jewish holiday.
UK is not a Jewish country so the two holidays are unrelated, but obviously a lot of different cultures are going to celebrate the days getting longer again so it's not surprising that there are multiple different holidays that are all celebrated at the same time. Also of course the Christian church overwrote a lot of pagan holidays so Easter being celebrated when the days get longer tracks even though that's not actually what the celebration is about.
I'm not really sure what the egg laying rabbit is about though.
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 149d
Well they are related, Jesus was Jewish and the last supper was celebrated during the passover holiday. Presumably the first Christians were Jewish and the passover name kinda stuck and found its way into the other cultures.
I first found out about it when celebrating Easter with my Italian room mates who called it Pascha. I wanted to know why and lo and behold Wikipedia came to the rescue. Which, according to Wikipedia, Easter is only called Easter in the UK. Happy to be corrected by language other than English speakers though!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Names_of_Easter?wprov=sfla1
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 149d
Gotta wait a few weeks for that.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf · -1 pts · 131d
One sentence written by a monk with no proof nor backing is the most we have of "eostre" btw
Beep@lemmus.org · -80 pts · 149d
Too.
Much.
Fucking.
White.
Space.
edgemaster72@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 149d
Too.
Little.
Fucking.
Credit.
Given.
Gladaed@feddit.org · 9 pts · 149d
This explains your Aversion to credit, at least. Just put the name back on and turn the outer space transparent.
Also, top and bottom pixel count is visibly different.
FelixCress@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 149d
Out of curiosity, why do you have an issue with author's name?
Deckname@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 149d
The little shit is trolling. Block and move on.
night_petal@piefed.social · 11 pts · 149d
I disagree. Down vote, shame, and then move on.
Deckname@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 149d
That just validates his behaviour. The best thing against idiots like this is to let them scream into the void and be alone with their "opinions".
night_petal@piefed.social · 2 pts · 149d
I would agree, but the one mod who could do anything has been gone for months.
Deckname@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 149d
Then block and forget. Not worth thinking about him more than necessary.
Beep@lemmus.org · -25 pts · 149d
In this specific case?
Do I even need to answer?
FelixCress@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 149d
Yes, that's why I asked. Not necessarily in specific case but in general as you keep removing these.
I don't get it.
Karl@literature.cafe · 7 pts · 149d
He's trolling.
Beep@lemmus.org · -23 pts · 149d
In short, to have a better ad free visual experience.
FelixCress@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 149d
But a signature is not an add? Furthermore it makes you to do more work with cropping etc.
Beep@lemmus.org · -24 pts · 149d
But the result is more beautiful comic that even I prefer to save on my drive, instead of the original.
FelixCress@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 149d
How is it "more beautiful"?
Krauerking@lemy.lol · 5 pts · 149d
Thats dumb.
Damaskox@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 149d
What do you mean?