Skeletor laying down, out and about FYI

519 points · 77 comments · view on lemmy.world

77 Comments

Th4tGuyII@fedia.io · 118 pts · 57d (18 replies)

If your ass can shit out Plasma or a Bose-Einstein Condensate, you ought to go to hospital

UNY0N@feddit.org · 20 pts · 57d (2 replies)

I found a new entry for the bucket list: ass plasma!

Marthirial@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 57d (1 reply)

Why not Plassma?

UNY0N@feddit.org · 9 pts · 57d

Nice

aeiou@piefed.social · 11 pts · 57d (8 replies)

You need only add a lighter to get ass-plasma.

A Bec would be trickier, though.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 57d (4 replies)

please do not shove kyber crystals up yer bum

lengau@midwest.social · 23 pts · 57d (3 replies)

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 57d (2 replies)

Just don't do doggy with a kyber buttplug, you're one fart away from manslaughter

lengau@midwest.social · 13 pts · 57d (1 reply)

Can't spell manslaughter without man's laughter!

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 56d

This is quite the rap sheet you’ve got here.

It says you served 20 years for “man’s laughter.”

Must have been quite the joke.

-- Frank Drebin Jr.

Edit: found it as two gifs and merged them 😁

Th4tGuyII@fedia.io · 3 pts · 56d (1 reply)

Good point. Does a Tool Assisted Shit (aka. a TAS) plasma shit count?

edgemaster72@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 56d

There's a separate leaderboard

Rooskie91@discuss.online · 1 pts · 56d

Idk, thai food does it for me.

rockerface@lemmy.cafe · 6 pts · 57d (4 replies)

You just need to add enough spice to your food to reach plasma

Th4tGuyII@fedia.io · 3 pts · 56d

Enough Scoville's and your ass will be burning brighter than the sun in the middle of July

ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 56d (2 replies)

pfft. I wish. I'm immune to spicy shits.

rockerface@lemmy.cafe · 1 pts · 56d (1 reply)

Tungsten reinforced sphincter?

ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 56d

I've just never had a spicy shit, but I eat hotter stuff than literally anyone I have ever met in person before. I'll leave my hot sauces in the community fridge up at work and no one will use them because they know it will melt their faces off, but it's what I splash on my pizza or sandwich or chicken or whatever.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 56d

Do you suffer from chronic M-Brane inflammation?

Try Quaternio today!

Untangles those bothersome hyperdimensional knots.

Quaternio!

It'll make your stomach turn, but in a good way.

Disclaimer:

QuaternioIsNotVerifiedToBeEffectiveAgainstTimeCrystalsOrSuperCriticalSuperFluids.IfYouSufferFromOrExperienceOrHaveBeenPreviouslyDiagnosedWithIntestinalTimeCrystalsOrSuperCriticalSuperFluidShartsDoNotUseQuaternio.

Almacca@aussie.zone · 42 pts · 57d (8 replies)

And the 4th with the help of a lighter.

OwOarchist@pawb.social · 10 pts · 57d (6 replies)

Regular fire is not plasma.

nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 57d (1 reply)

Is this the moment that someone says “Taco Bell”?

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 56d

Mfers get the tiniest bit of fiber and capsaicin and suddenly their bodies are all like

9point6@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 57d (1 reply)

Is neon toxic to eat in large quantities?

(I know it's inert, toxic might be the wrong word, I'm more going for would bad things happen)

OwOarchist@pawb.social · 10 pts · 57d

In quantities you could 'eat' naturally, without injecting it in by force? Yeah, I think that would be entirely safe. (Though you wouldn't want to breathe exclusively neon.)

But, almost all of any gasses you manage to get into your stomach will be expelled as burps. Very little will make it through your entire digestive system and out the other end. If you want neon gas coming out of your ass (I presume to use in conjunction with some electrodes and a power supply to produce actual plasma), you're going to need ... alternate means of ingesting the neon. The simplest and least invasive way would be to stick a tube up your ass and pump neon gas into it through that tube. For your own safety, ensure that the maximum pressure on that gas line is very low. You do not want a ruptured colon. That would hurt. Plus, the neon gas would escape.

Also, even if successful, I wouldn't recommend it. Plasma is, you know, hot. And assholes don't like being very hot.

Ephera@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 56d

fires may produce plasma if hot enough.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plasma_(physics)

Depends how violently you fart, I guess.

Almacca@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 56d

Don't go spoiling my dumb joke with facts. :)

TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 56d

I think it's more like an high voltage power source

Akasazh@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 57d (4 replies)

The ass produces nothing, it's merely a conduit.

Tiresia@slrpnk.net · 23 pts · 57d (3 replies)

I hate in courtrooms when the prosecutor produces a witness and everyone has to wait nine months.

Akasazh@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 57d (2 replies)

Lovely vignette, I'd argue that courtrooms could do with a bit of sexy times.

But following that logic your ass can produce dick, too.

Tiresia@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 57d (1 reply)

God, I wish.

Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 56d

Tiresa out here shitting dicks left and right.

JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org · 14 pts · 56d

It doesn't produce them. It simply emits them. The whole body produces them as a collective effort.

ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 56d (3 replies)

OP's can't produce condensates, plasma, or any of the ~45 niche exotic states of matter?

SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 56d (1 reply)

OP produces all forms of shit, even those not discovered yet.

Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 56d

They coalesced into this post.

MasterNerd@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 56d

Speak for yourself. My ass produces bose-Einstein condensate constantly. It's a chronic condition.

veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 56d (8 replies)

How about plassma?

Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 56d (2 replies)

Y'all gotta hit up Taco Bell and then add ungodly amounts of third party hot sauce.

veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 55d

Sounds like a plan... 🤔

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 55d

Hell yeah

Hupf@feddit.org · 5 pts · 55d

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 56d

If I do enough squats it might get hot enough

thelasttoot@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 56d

Clearly not one of the 3 states of matter, so who cares?

lefaucet@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 56d

Defo proced some after that curry

sirico@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 56d

Eat a Phaal

SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml · 13 pts · 57d

What to say after you fart in a crowd (or elevator).

“Take that!”

“What do you say?” like prompting a child to say thank you.

"That'll be five bucks, you pervert"

“Not a bad sound out of a half inch speaker”

“Did you hear that spider bark?"

“Someone step on a duck?”

"That duck's got bad breath"

Forest Area Reticulated Tree Spiders (FARTS)

“A bit more choke and that engine will start”

“Did you hear what that asshole just said?”

“There’s someone behind me talking shit!”

“Keep shouting Sir, we'll find you”

"So sayeth the King"

“I shouldn't have trusted that one”

"I don't remember eating that."

“That’s gonna itch when it dries”

''Two sniffs of that would be greedy''

“The the horns working, now try the lights”

“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”

“The Rear Admiral has spoken”

(Just before you fart) “Alexa, play something by Ed Sheeran”

 “Don’t worry, (name), I’ll tell them it was me!”

“You’ve/I’ve got a turd honking for the right of way.”

“Ahh, the ghost of dinners past”

“You got that one for free, next one you will have to pull my finger”

"As foretold by The Prophecy."

“Now your turn”

The toothless one speaks !

“Sounds much better after my tune up”

“Aaaand...scene!”

“That was supposed to be a song but came out of the wrong end”

“Message from turd castle”

“Glad I'm not in my Space Suit”

“Damn! I was saving that for the elevator”

“An empty house is better than a bad tenant”

“Guess what I had for my last meal”

“This haaause is noww cleeeean”

“carpet frogs”

“Now that I have your attention, we will have a moment of silence for all those that have died in elevator accidents”

lefaucet@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 56d (1 reply)

Pretty sure mine produced a 4th after eating that hot sauce the other night

edgemaster72@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 56d

Yep, that sounds like plasma all right

TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today · 12 pts · 57d (5 replies)

It can also accept all 3 forms of matter.

SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 56d (4 replies)

....G-gas...?

rabidhamster@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 56d (3 replies)
muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 56d (1 reply)

No. I refuse to click. I can only imagine it’s cartoon bicycle pump nonsense even though it’s likely some cursed fetish shit.

You will not inflict this upon me.

Widdershins@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 56d

Its... a guy with a bike pump up his ass for the first half of the video and the second half is him bare ass farting after removing the pump. Kinda surprising to see on youtube TBH. The look of surprise on his face says it was his first rodeo.

SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 56d

Uhhhhhhh....

Not sure if I should click on that

Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 11 pts · 57d (1 reply)

So can the stomach, sometimes both of them can do all at the same time.

Fmstrat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 56d

Both sides.

Mr_Fish@lemmy.nz · 11 pts · 57d

Where's the Bose-Einstein condenshit?

Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 57d (5 replies)

Your ass, genitals, and mouth can all produce all three states of matter.

ramble81@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 57d (3 replies)

Penis…..gas?

Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 56d (1 reply)

Yup. There are a few medical conditions that can cause you to fart through your urethra. UTIs, and damage to your bowel mainly.

ramble81@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 56d

Huh, TIL

Triumph@fedia.io · 3 pts · 57d

Penis queef.

Orioniae@piefed.social · 2 pts · 57d

And honestly, it is needed when the body is in “immediate alert mode” and need to expel dangerous substances.

TBi@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 57d (9 replies)

Can it really produce solids though? Just seems like a really viscous liquid…

bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 9 pts · 57d (1 reply)

We need a +50 years shitdrop experiment to prove that all shit is liquid!

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 56d

That will inevitably run for 150 years cause the fucking camera glitched twice.

EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 57d

You must eat enough fiber. Try being dehydrated and eat nothing but meat for a week. You can build a house out of those what you will produce.

autriyo@feddit.org · 4 pts · 57d (4 replies)

If you ask a material scientist, glass is also just a very viscous liquid.

Triumph@fedia.io · 4 pts · 57d (1 reply)

No it's not.

The thing about old glass is that the manufacturing process was different and produced glass with variable thickness.

autriyo@feddit.org · 2 pts · 57d

Old glass being thicker at the bottom, isn't what was referring to.

Maybe its a bit of a technicality, but since glass doesn't form a crystal lattice, one could argue that its just a liquid which has an infinitely high viscosity. Hence its very viscous.

TBi@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 57d (1 reply)

I thought that was disproven?

Blum0108@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 56d

It was

Blum0108@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 57d

What if you ate a lot of corn?

grandel@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 57d (1 reply)

I think the sphincter or something can even detect whether its gaseous or solid (but not liquid) and probably the reason why sharts exist.

If there is some anal captain out there, please help me out.

bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 3 pts · 57d

That is correct. Wanted to bring up this fun fact myself.