This is literally how my partner and I divided our household tasks LMAO
I do the stuff she hates doing because it's Meh to me, she does the stuff that I hate doing for the same reason. Like she's fine doing dishes, but HATES putting them away, I'm the exact opposite. I'll put them away all day, I absolutely HATE doing them. Every now and then we both end up feeling super guilty over it because we're both thinking like "Man, I get a WAY better deal out of this. I'm so taking advantage of them..."
But we basically reason that as long as we both feel like we're getting a better deal than the other one and we're talking things out with each other it can't be too unfair in reality.
That's the 60/40 rule in action. If you feel like you're doing 60+% of the work in a relationship it's probably roughly 50/50 (as long as they roughly feel the same)
We don't always notice all the way that people do things for us, and us to them.
Damn, I didn't know this had a name! My wife and I do this all the time. Our computers are right next to each other's, and we play our own games for hours at a time. It's glorious.
Yeah, I think it's something people have been doing for eons and that only recently has a name. It's really no different than when my wife and I would read separate things next to each other.
For all of my life most of my closer circle has been neurodiverse because we tend to get along via tolerating or even enjoying each other's particularities. For instance, enjoying frequent infodumps rather than being annoyed.
Most recently, I've been the opposite of that and lost nearly half my body weight in ~6mo of chronic disregulation. No, it's not fun, either. 😅
Just remembering if I've eaten isn't enough, I've gotta assume the abdominal discomfort isn't anxiety, but legit hunger —that's a tough one to ascertain, atm.
I only have like 3 routines but they are so ingrained that they stand out against the rest of my ADHD inconsistency.
My keys ALWAYS go on the hook by the door. Haven't lost them in years.
My wallet ALWAYS goes on my nightstand when I get home. Haven't lost it in years.
I FEEL the need to eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner because of pressure from family members. I also have the urge to clear my plate every time. These two are so ingrained that my internal clock goes off even if I'm avoiding a real clock. It's like an addiction. This is currently the hardest thing for me to break and I hate it.
I'm currently losing too much weight due to this and I'm trying to eat more meals, but yeah I'm worried I'll end up like everyone else struggling to eat less eventually :( feels like we can't win sometimes
Today I found the skin from the nudie almond my spouse sent me a pic of the other day and brought it to them like it was the break in our most important case yet. They loved it.
34 Comments
tyler@programming.dev · 46 pts · 63d
Wait what’s support swapping?
VGpunx@lemmy.world · 65 pts · 63d
When two people share tasks. Basically if one person has a problem doing some chore or something and so the other does it for them in exchange for swapping with another chore or task. https://actuallyautistic.wiki/wiki/Autistic_love_languages#Support_swapping
SpatchyIsOnline@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 63d
Damn, here I was thinking it's when someone switches to playing Mercy
Nouvellalia@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 63d
Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting!
VGpunx@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 63d
There's a joke in there about Symmetra switching from Support to DPS, but I'm le tired and only got this far
KaChilde@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 63d
Then take a nap.. THEN MAKE ZE JOKE!
Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 62d
This is literally how my partner and I divided our household tasks LMAO
I do the stuff she hates doing because it's Meh to me, she does the stuff that I hate doing for the same reason. Like she's fine doing dishes, but HATES putting them away, I'm the exact opposite. I'll put them away all day, I absolutely HATE doing them. Every now and then we both end up feeling super guilty over it because we're both thinking like "Man, I get a WAY better deal out of this. I'm so taking advantage of them..."
But we basically reason that as long as we both feel like we're getting a better deal than the other one and we're talking things out with each other it can't be too unfair in reality.
iocase@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 62d
That's the 60/40 rule in action. If you feel like you're doing 60+% of the work in a relationship it's probably roughly 50/50 (as long as they roughly feel the same)
We don't always notice all the way that people do things for us, and us to them.
Goodtoknow@lemmy.ca · 38 pts · 63d
What is parallel play?
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 51 pts · 63d
We hang out together, you play your game and I play mine.
BradleyUffner@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 63d
Damn, I didn't know this had a name! My wife and I do this all the time. Our computers are right next to each other's, and we play our own games for hours at a time. It's glorious.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 63d
Yeah, I think it's something people have been doing for eons and that only recently has a name. It's really no different than when my wife and I would read separate things next to each other.
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 63d
Wait this is a ADHD thing? Ive always wanted to do this witg friends.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 63d
Indeed it is! It also comes up under autism too... the way these two diagnoses intersect is evolving in real time.
It also applies to chores and overcoming the dreaded "wall of awful". It's called "parallel work" or "body doubling."
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 62d
Makes me think either everyone has ADHD/autism, or every single person I know and myself has it 😅😅 this just seems like a "regular people" thing.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 62d
Another meme here said it best: "Yes, urinating is something we all do but if you're doing it 60 times a day, you may have a problem."
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 62d
For sure
los0220@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 60d
For me, being around "normal" people is just not that comfortable so naturally all my friends tend to be some kind of neurodivergent
stray@pawb.social · 1 pts · 61d
For all of my life most of my closer circle has been neurodiverse because we tend to get along via tolerating or even enjoying each other's particularities. For instance, enjoying frequent infodumps rather than being annoyed.
snooggums@piefed.world · 25 pts · 63d
I wish I could forget to eat again. The three meals a day conditioning is really hard to break.
Nemo@slrpnk.net · 20 pts · 63d
My problem is I forget how many I've already eaten and end up with four or five.
pHr34kY@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 63d
The last 3 meals all happen after 8pm when the stims wear off.
wyldrstallyns@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 63d
Most recently, I've been the opposite of that and lost nearly half my body weight in ~6mo of chronic disregulation. No, it's not fun, either. 😅
Just remembering if I've eaten isn't enough, I've gotta assume the abdominal discomfort isn't anxiety, but legit hunger —that's a tough one to ascertain, atm.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 63d
Whoa. I got the other neruodivergent thing where recalling to eat on time is a battle. I had no idea that swung the other way for some folks.
snooggums@piefed.world · 3 pts · 63d
I only have like 3 routines but they are so ingrained that they stand out against the rest of my ADHD inconsistency.
My keys ALWAYS go on the hook by the door. Haven't lost them in years.
My wallet ALWAYS goes on my nightstand when I get home. Haven't lost it in years.
I FEEL the need to eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner because of pressure from family members. I also have the urge to clear my plate every time. These two are so ingrained that my internal clock goes off even if I'm avoiding a real clock. It's like an addiction. This is currently the hardest thing for me to break and I hate it.
atkion@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 63d
I'm currently losing too much weight due to this and I'm trying to eat more meals, but yeah I'm worried I'll end up like everyone else struggling to eat less eventually :( feels like we can't win sometimes
snooggums@piefed.world · 4 pts · 63d
Yeah, both increasing and decreasing are difficult when trying to change what few habits we have developed.
itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 63d
'Please crush my soul back into my body' what does this mean?
Also yeah cool leafs are great
SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 16 pts · 63d
itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 63d
Aah right
I have a weighted blanket. It's pretty good.
SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 63d
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 62d
That sounds so nice, I should ask my wife to do that
SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 62d
Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 63d
🥴
Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 63d
Ah yes, the shaky body alarm clock.
cecinestpasunecommunication@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 61d
You can be bitchy at a third party together. Make it a bonding experience.
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 34d
Today I found the skin from the nudie almond my spouse sent me a pic of the other day and brought it to them like it was the break in our most important case yet. They loved it.
We're both in our 30s.