There's this game, Vampire Therapist, where you play as a vampire with knowledge of CBT. Good thing it wasn't "Vampire The rapist", where you'd play as a vampire with knowledge of the other CBT. store.steampowered.com/app/248…
It sounds more like toxic positivity, yeah. CBT is about recognizing what feelings you have, why you're having them, and what you should do to take care of yourself both immediately and as a future plan to reduce distress.
There are unfortunately a ton of terrible therapists out there. It sucks to have to keep trying new ones because each failure feels like a personal flaw.
Nah, the issue with her is, she did the equivalent of a first aider seeing someone with a burst appendix and saying, yes, I know how to treat this, instead of getting them to a surgeon.
I had a doctor slap me with an anxiety disorder NOS diagnosis because she didn't want to send me for autism testing. And so when I eventually plucked up the courage to get treated for it, she ignored what I said and just acted like "yes, I know how to treat anxiety" instead of noticing I was describing complex trauma, knowing it was beyond her scope and referring me to a service who could help or just discharging me.
Instead I got "if socialising is difficult for you, just try not to overthink it. No. Autistic scripting and rehearsing is just overthinking, no it is. No, it really is. I said it is! Stop doing it. " And "if you have issues with anxious attachment and codependency, it's because you don't love yourself more! So say some bad things about yourself so I can cure you of that and make you love yourself "
I give her too much credit, she probably hasn't even heard of anxious attachment.
My GP is still pushing me to try again.
Thank you for listening to a bitter old lady shouting at the clouds.
It's important to vent about these things, and I'm happy to help you with that. Just saying stuff and having someone listen feels way better than keeping it in.
Oh I already wrote a few essays on my Mastodon haha. I'm just frustrated at this, because in my case, I knew I was neurodivergent (I didn't realise till later that I also had signs of complex PTSD myself). So when she tried to treat autistic anxiety as regular anxiety disorder by telling me to essentially just stop being autistic, and refused to learn about autism (because she's "not here for that") I knew the problem was her, not me.
Someone who doesn't know they are neurodivergent will think they're the failure, not the therapist, and just end up feeling worse. "If it works for everyone else, why isn't it working for me? I'm just a failure at this too."
It just really bothers me. I filled out the feedback form, but since I didn't get any acknowledgement, I don't know if anyone even read it.
The ironic thing is, I had a phobia therapist before her and she was very clued up about neurodivergence. Even though I was there for a blood test phobia (and that was all she was trained for), she put me in touch with the local autism service and pushed me to ask my GP for an assessment referral again.
It doesn't, at least in my experience. Great. I'm now aware I am feeling like shit. Don't feel like shit don't feel like shit don't feel like shit. Welp still feel like shit and now I'm preoccupied trying to convince myself otherwise.
CBT is great for figuring out what you are feeling but it sucks with dealing with it. This is where acceptance based therapy works well.
I feel like shit! Am I supposed to feel like shit? Would a rational human feel like shit here? They would? Maybe I'm not such a pile of shit after all, and just a human
That's normally what the B in CBT is for. The therapist is supposed to work out some strategies with you that make you feel like shit less, a behavioral repertoire that you can use on your own and that is independent from the cognitive part. I personally found this the hardest thing to do in CBT, and it was probably the thing that helped me the most long term (because let's face it: no amount of therapy will make me an all-sunshine glass-half-full kinda guy, and really that's okay).
There are 3 parts to the process. It sounds like you got stuck between 1 and 2.
Identify what is actually going on. Feeling shit is a compound feeling breaking it down into subsections helps a lot. E.g. I'm crap and socialising and miss people. Or I'm anxious about money.
Identify what needs to be done, internally to alter the behaviour/feeling.
Implementing that in your day to day life.
I've had a few attempts at CBT over the years (ADHD). 2 were completely useless, the 3rd helped a lot. We managed to chunk some of my issues down into small enough pieces I could crush them.
You would be surprised how much traction you can get by just actually taking the first step.
E.g. I'm a geek and, after moving, wanted to join a local makerspace. Unfortunately there wasn't one. I could have lamented the lack of one. Instead, I put the call out to see if anyone else wanted to start one. The task looked daunting and overwhelming. It was amazing how much effort others were willing to join me in applying to the problem. We've been going strong for a decade now, and it's provided a positive outlet to many.
It's not "gaslighting yourself into being okay". It's more like being real to yourself on what you feel and what you need.
I was like this before, and with the benefit of hindsight, that was me in emotional reasoning, "I feel this, therefore it is reality". Your feelings are (and continue to be) valid. At the same time, it can be disconnected to actual observable reality, and at worst, bring your worst fears into a self-fulfilling prophecy: something like "my crush did not reply to me, so I suck as a person, so I don't want to socialize with anyone, because, surely I suck, right?", when in fact, said crush was just having a busy day in their life. CBT techniques can help you move forward and break self-destructive cycles.
36 Comments
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 82d
That abbreviation gets me way too often...
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 21 pts · 82d
I feel like both meanings of CBT can change your behaviour.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 82d
Indeed ;p
csolisr@hub.azkware.net · 17 pts · 82d
There's this game, Vampire Therapist, where you play as a vampire with knowledge of CBT. Good thing it wasn't "Vampire The rapist", where you'd play as a vampire with knowledge of the other CBT. store.steampowered.com/app/248…
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 82d
My kinda lemming!
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 82d
Sorry you’re too smart to be happy
Gormadt@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 82d
Not the CBT I hoped for, but the CBT I need
T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 82d
Bingpot
chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 82d
Prefer mindfulness over self-gaslighting!
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 81d
Also didn't really work for me. I just ended up marinating in my anxiety rather than working it out
liuther9@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 80d
Hormones are the key. Try different things to regulate them. Everyday walking and lsd (mdma sometimes) helped me
angrystego@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 82d
That's not a good description of how CBT works.
stray@pawb.social · 9 pts · 82d
It sounds more like toxic positivity, yeah. CBT is about recognizing what feelings you have, why you're having them, and what you should do to take care of yourself both immediately and as a future plan to reduce distress.
A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 4 pts · 81d
I didn't know that that's a thing!
I live in a community full of hippies (for lack of a better word) suffering from it.
DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 7 pts · 82d
It is according to my last therapist.
angrystego@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 82d
Oof, that sucks, you need a new one.
DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 7 pts · 82d
Yep, stuck it out for about six months, before I realised she was a lost cause.
Turns out that actually you can't solve autistic difficulties by just trying to be neurotypical. Who knew?
stray@pawb.social · 5 pts · 82d
There are unfortunately a ton of terrible therapists out there. It sucks to have to keep trying new ones because each failure feels like a personal flaw.
DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 5 pts · 82d
Nah, the issue with her is, she did the equivalent of a first aider seeing someone with a burst appendix and saying, yes, I know how to treat this, instead of getting them to a surgeon.
I had a doctor slap me with an anxiety disorder NOS diagnosis because she didn't want to send me for autism testing. And so when I eventually plucked up the courage to get treated for it, she ignored what I said and just acted like "yes, I know how to treat anxiety" instead of noticing I was describing complex trauma, knowing it was beyond her scope and referring me to a service who could help or just discharging me.
Instead I got "if socialising is difficult for you, just try not to overthink it. No. Autistic scripting and rehearsing is just overthinking, no it is. No, it really is. I said it is! Stop doing it. " And "if you have issues with anxious attachment and codependency, it's because you don't love yourself more! So say some bad things about yourself so I can cure you of that and make you love yourself "
I give her too much credit, she probably hasn't even heard of anxious attachment.
My GP is still pushing me to try again.
Thank you for listening to a bitter old lady shouting at the clouds.
stray@pawb.social · 3 pts · 82d
It's important to vent about these things, and I'm happy to help you with that. Just saying stuff and having someone listen feels way better than keeping it in.
DakRalter@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 82d
Oh I already wrote a few essays on my Mastodon haha. I'm just frustrated at this, because in my case, I knew I was neurodivergent (I didn't realise till later that I also had signs of complex PTSD myself). So when she tried to treat autistic anxiety as regular anxiety disorder by telling me to essentially just stop being autistic, and refused to learn about autism (because she's "not here for that") I knew the problem was her, not me.
Someone who doesn't know they are neurodivergent will think they're the failure, not the therapist, and just end up feeling worse. "If it works for everyone else, why isn't it working for me? I'm just a failure at this too."
It just really bothers me. I filled out the feedback form, but since I didn't get any acknowledgement, I don't know if anyone even read it.
The ironic thing is, I had a phobia therapist before her and she was very clued up about neurodivergence. Even though I was there for a blood test phobia (and that was all she was trained for), she put me in touch with the local autism service and pushed me to ask my GP for an assessment referral again.
So the other therapist had zero excuse.
zarkanian@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 82d
How so?
inari@piefed.zip · 7 pts · 82d
If it works it works 🤷
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 25 pts · 82d
It doesn't, at least in my experience. Great. I'm now aware I am feeling like shit. Don't feel like shit don't feel like shit don't feel like shit. Welp still feel like shit and now I'm preoccupied trying to convince myself otherwise.
CBT is great for figuring out what you are feeling but it sucks with dealing with it. This is where acceptance based therapy works well.
I feel like shit! Am I supposed to feel like shit? Would a rational human feel like shit here? They would? Maybe I'm not such a pile of shit after all, and just a human
rustydrd@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 82d
That's normally what the B in CBT is for. The therapist is supposed to work out some strategies with you that make you feel like shit less, a behavioral repertoire that you can use on your own and that is independent from the cognitive part. I personally found this the hardest thing to do in CBT, and it was probably the thing that helped me the most long term (because let's face it: no amount of therapy will make me an all-sunshine glass-half-full kinda guy, and really that's okay).
kolmaskommentoija@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 82d
cynar@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 82d
There are 3 parts to the process. It sounds like you got stuck between 1 and 2.
Identify what is actually going on. Feeling shit is a compound feeling breaking it down into subsections helps a lot. E.g. I'm crap and socialising and miss people. Or I'm anxious about money.
Identify what needs to be done, internally to alter the behaviour/feeling.
Implementing that in your day to day life.
I've had a few attempts at CBT over the years (ADHD). 2 were completely useless, the 3rd helped a lot. We managed to chunk some of my issues down into small enough pieces I could crush them.
HasturInYellow@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 82d
What needs to be done?
The mass slaughter of the Epstein class.
I think I could be happy then.
cynar@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 82d
Break it down. What about the Epstein class is actually the problem. What solutions could be applied. How would you break down going about it?
Break it down further into useful goals, then create actionable steps you can take to tackle the various sub points.
It sounds like you've failed with breaking the problem down stage. That is a massive, unsolvable task.
It's like the question "How do you eat an elephant?", A: "One bite at a time". You can't just shove the elephant in your mouth and hope not to choke.
HasturInYellow@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 82d
By God you're right.
I've been so foolish. I'll get right on all of this. I need a notebook....
cynar@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 82d
You would be surprised how much traction you can get by just actually taking the first step.
E.g. I'm a geek and, after moving, wanted to join a local makerspace. Unfortunately there wasn't one. I could have lamented the lack of one. Instead, I put the call out to see if anyone else wanted to start one. The task looked daunting and overwhelming. It was amazing how much effort others were willing to join me in applying to the problem. We've been going strong for a decade now, and it's provided a positive outlet to many.
dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 82d
Try DBT instead
SystemDisc@feddit.org · 2 pts · 82d
I’ve tried CBT, DBT, REBT, and ACT. ACT and Stoicism are what helped me the most - CBT and DBT the least.
dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 82d
For me IFS works wonders
SystemDisc@feddit.org · 2 pts · 82d
Tried that too - that one’s actually really nice. I just didn’t like that it feels somewhat mystical.
binux@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 82d
DBT is derived from CBT
mo_lave@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 81d
It's not "gaslighting yourself into being okay". It's more like being real to yourself on what you feel and what you need.
I was like this before, and with the benefit of hindsight, that was me in emotional reasoning, "I feel this, therefore it is reality". Your feelings are (and continue to be) valid. At the same time, it can be disconnected to actual observable reality, and at worst, bring your worst fears into a self-fulfilling prophecy: something like "my crush did not reply to me, so I suck as a person, so I don't want to socialize with anyone, because, surely I suck, right?", when in fact, said crush was just having a busy day in their life. CBT techniques can help you move forward and break self-destructive cycles.