Life would be different

526 points · 59 comments · view on lemmy.world

59 Comments

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 102 pts · 23d (20 replies)

Also, what if it wasn't clipped short. Instead, you could grow it out a little to have a built in baseball cap

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 23d (1 reply)

But which way would it grow?

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 46 pts · 23d

ApeNo1@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 23d (1 reply)

You hit the nail on the head.

Fmstrat@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 22d

Our largest predator would be a hammerhead shark.

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 23d (1 reply)

You just sold me.

Slovene85@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 22d

Woah, are you saying viral.vegabond is a human trafficker?

ceenote@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Remember to look down when filing it, though. Don't want to get scalp nail in your eyes.

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 1 pts · 22d

True, nobody likes it when they get scalp nail in their eyes. Lol

VibeSurgeon@piefed.social · 11 pts · 22d (1 reply)

Extreme convenience. How cursed our biology is to have robbed us of this functionality

T156@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 22d

On the other hand, we've also never had to deal with an ingrown headnail, so small mercies.

red_tomato@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 23d (3 replies)

People probably would attach ornaments to the grown head nail.

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Would you use a giant nail-polish brush or use the little ones to do elaborate artwork?

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 5 pts · 23d

Giant, gotta get shit done. Lol

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 3 pts · 23d

like piercings or something, kind of?

HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 23d (3 replies)

Yay. no sun in my eyes.

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 11 pts · 23d (2 replies)

Painting it would be an option too. Or sharpening it. The possibilities are endless!!

HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Sharpening it so you can headbutt someone else in a human mating ritual lol .

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 3 pts · 23d

Yes, definitely something one -could- do...

snoons@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 22d (1 reply)

And you could like carve it into cool shapes or harden it into a head spike for killing rich people.

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 4 pts · 22d

I like where you're going with this.

otter@lemmy.ca · 47 pts · 23d (2 replies)
Shifty@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 22d

I've had nightmares about these...

brown567@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 22d

I came to the comments expecting literally this exact screenshot

Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 32 pts · 23d

wrinkle2409@lemmy.cafe · 29 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Ingrown headnail

brown567@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 22d

Just decapitate me at that point

Ixoid@aussie.zone · 21 pts · 23d

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Life would be different if we pooped out of our mouths like a sea cucumber.

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 8 pts · 23d

Life would be different if we threw out babies at predators when startled, like quokka

DarkCloud@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 23d (3 replies)

Showers, barbers, and fights will all be different.... As will clothes, probably the skin colour of our faces. Our digestive systems might be different (from consuming nail stuff during famines). Our vision may be different.

Torture would be different. Gender, because we'd likely all paint our nails. Tool use might have different origins. We'd likely move different, and perhaps have different neck muscles and bone structure.

Basically we probably wouldn't recognize the new society. It would be alien to us.

Carnelian@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 23d

Mortal kombat fatality animations would be different

toynbee@piefed.social · 1 pts · 22d (1 reply)

I'm uncomfortable with you using "will" in that first sentence.

DarkCloud@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 22d

The crab people are cumming.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 10 pts · 23d

We'd probably fight more with headbutts than with punches. Boxing would be cray. Safety equipment probably would be different.

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 22d (1 reply)

Hmmm make it a big toe nail so it gets yellow and thick and accumulates cheese underneath so I can scrape and eat on the go.

Artemis_Mystique@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 22d

c/cursedcomments

hdsrob@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 23d (2 replies)

Those nail clippers are going to be huge.

hdsrob@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 23d

Although I guess that "hair stylists" would get replaced with nail techs. Head Nail styles would be crazy.

brown567@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 22d

They'd probably use saws or grinders at that scale

I almost exclusively use a coarse file for my toenails so they don't break weird and get ingrown

folekaule@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 23d

I would say OP hit the nail on the head here. It would be different.

Quokka@quokk.au · 7 pts · 23d

Magpies wouldn't feel so smug that's for sure.

ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Amogus

HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 23d

Sus.

inari@piefed.zip · 6 pts · 23d

Natural helmet

Fizz@lemmy.nz · 5 pts · 22d

Nail salons would be booming

Kirp123@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Imagine having a giant ingrown nail on your head. Yeah, no thanks.

hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 22d

Or itchy nail fungus.

Murse@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 23d

Nothin a bit of phenol couldn't take care of.

...well, maybe a lot of phenol. And a crowbar.

BradleyUffner@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 22d

Kryten?

Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 23d (4 replies)

Do you think we’d get sunburn under the nail?

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 5 pts · 23d (3 replies)

Is it possible to get sunburned under your regular nails?

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 23d (1 reply)

According to Google, yes. :(

viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 1 pts · 22d

I don't trust google. Ask someone in real life and get back to me. Lol

brown567@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 22d

With powerful enough radiation, you can get a sunburn through your whole body =D

That being said, keratin doesn't seem to absorb UV (A or B) very well so probably: https://www.npsg.uwaterloo.ca/data/skin.php

Jela@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 22d (3 replies)

Would hair nail thinning or balding still exist?

What would that look like?

Diurnambule@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 22d (2 replies)

You hâve to go to the nail dresser too. If you nailr is too long you can't lay flat and sleep.

Okokimup@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 22d (1 reply)

Are you having a stroke?

Diurnambule@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 22d

Was laughing. My bad. I trieddto correct