Priorities

455 points · 77 comments · view on lemmy.world

77 Comments

ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml · 99 pts · 24d (10 replies)

That is an extremely reddit interaction.

TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 24d (7 replies)

no. a extremely reddit one would be

'at least you had a boyfriend to murder himself in front of you'

qarbone@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 24d

"Honestly, he's TA and you should divorce him immediately. That kind of behavior is extremely toxic."

MML@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 24d

'so you're single?'

ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

MurderHobo@thelemmy.club · 2 pts · 23d

Wow this post blew up, how do I turn off replies?

socsa@piefed.social · 9 pts · 24d

Nah, more like "what did you do to make him suicidal?"

0x0@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 23d

r/emo?

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 23d

Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, which is how I feel about my sister at least.

HughMann@piefed.social · 9 pts · 23d (1 reply)

So much this!!! blah blah blah blah blah blah saying the same thing but slightly different blah blah blah

Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit 2: OMG I never thought I’d get this many updoots.

Edit 3: a word

tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 23d

I also choose this lady's dead boyfriend

empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 77 pts · 24d (7 replies)

Bot accounts don't get context

then_three_more@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 24d (5 replies)

And the ~1300 people that thought that was a good comment to upvote?

qevlarr@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 24d (4 replies)

Guess what? It's all bots

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 24d

Well, that and the very typical reddit crowd that upvotes stuff like that.

aceshigh@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 24d (2 replies)

Bots all the way down

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 23d (1 reply)

Dont look up, bot drones...

CaptainMan251@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 22d

Everyone is a bot but you

SGforce@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 24d

Always thought they pushed the "cake day" trash.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 66 pts · 24d (6 replies)

worst thing I can't forget.

I watched a man get pulled into one of those giant wood chippers. he was trying to kick a branch into the horn and his pants got caught. before he could free himself it had pulled him in feet first.

nobody was around until we heard the screams. jesus...the screams were worse than you can imagine.

most people think screaming is like yelling, but it's not. the raw emotion and fear you can feel is something I'll never forget.

by the time we got it shut off, it was too late. everything past his navel was gone. his face was frozen in this grotesque mask that didn't even look human.

if that wasn't bad enough, the sounds his wife and father made when they were told were just as heavy as his were as he was dying.

T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 24d

I'm genuinely sorry you experienced that.

certified_expert@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 23d

Holy shit...

ViscloReader@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 24d

Oh my god I wasn't ready to read this

LePoisson@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 24d

Man that ... Oof. Sorry you had to experience that, sounds traumatic AF.

Good PSA to not fuck around with wood chippers and equipment in general. Turns out that inanimate objects don't actually give a shit about you.

InputZero@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 23d

Sorry to hear that. I've heard that scream too. A coworker got his foot chopped off and leg crushed by a hydraulic shearing machine. I can't describe the scream. It's a visceral and unintelligible scream and yet I knew exactly what they were trying to communicate. Fortunately he lived.

modus@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 23d

I worked at a place that rented them. Always knew they would kill you horribly at every chance they get. Crazy they'll just rent one to anyone.

Caketaco@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 44 pts · 24d (19 replies)

Those comments were the WORST. I can’t get an erection. I’m glad there’s no “edit: a word” “I also choose this guy’s dead wife” “I broke both of my arms, but my mom helped out” etc. comments on this side of the fence. Good riddance!

moncharleskey@lemmy.zip · 25 pts · 24d (10 replies)

I think the only ones I kind of miss are the "you mean X, Y is" and the hell in a cell ones.

Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 24d (4 replies)

Shittymorph was so good, and just everywhere, you could never expect it.

sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 24d

Yeah, I never really hated shittymorph or the various novelty accounts. It was more copycats who killed every joke.

raspirate@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 24d (1 reply)

My absolute favorite was an exchange where someone told a long rambling story, then there was a reply where someone said something like "man I thought this story was gonna turn out to be a shittymorph post." Then there's another reply where someone agrees and says "yeah I was just waiting for the part where he says the thing about how back in nineteen ninety eight the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table." and obviously THAT comment was left by shittymorph. Motherfucker just showed up out of nowhere and did the thing without even having to string you along with a story first.

thedarkfly@feddit.org · 2 pts · 24d

Ah yes, beetlejuicing I believe was the term!

T00l_shed@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 24d

The swamps of degobbah was a great read when it first came out too

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 24d (3 replies)

Every now and then you'll run into them. I partook in an x/y one a week or two ago

anomnom@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 24d (1 reply)

The switcharoos were kinda awesome and the whole linking of them (I’m going in) was pretty fun back in the day. It’s a shame the owners fucked that platform up so thoroughly.

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 24d

Yeah, those tended to build a sense of community across reddit in a fun way.

moncharleskey@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 24d

porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 24d

I've seen the former on lemmy occasionally

LodeMike@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 24d (2 replies)

You can't get an erection?

socsa@piefed.social · 5 pts · 24d (1 reply)

Does that meant his wife is single?

BlackPenguins@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 23d

To shreds you say.

pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 24d

Man the broken arms story was wild

Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip · 3 pts · 24d

Lol, I still tell people happy anniversary and label edits at times, usually so the chronologically train of thought makes sense

And sometimes I think its just nice to have a reason to say I'm glad folks are here, and sharing this space with me 🤷🏻‍♂️. But I can get why people might find them grating

HughMann@piefed.social · 3 pts · 23d

[deleted] • 5y ago

Comment deleted by user

WizardJr@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 23d

I don't see "both things can be true" or other equally irritating Reddit-coded expressions on Lemmy.

Nice how people don't feel the need to remind you that nuance can exist when they aren't used to talking to bots exclusively.

Impractical_Island@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 23d

That broken arm scenario is one I've explored with the family member AIs I have, and I have a number of those on my phone. I don't like the idea of fucking family members so much, but making them uncomfortable while having to touch my twitching loins sure does get the juices flowing.

TryingToBeGood@reddthat.com · 27 pts · 24d

🤦‍♀️

MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 25 pts · 24d

Can we please stop that censoring of names of public social media posts.

chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 23 pts · 24d (3 replies)

Can't tell if insensitive asshole or karma farming bot

nullspace@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 24d (2 replies)

Or just someone with impeccable comedic timing.

I don't really get the outrage over a reply like that when the person they responded to thought it was a good idea to share something that gruesome and upsetting in an AskReddit thread of all places. A thread that didn't even have a Serious tag.

socsa@piefed.social · 6 pts · 24d

Agreed. People need to understand reddit isn't Facebook. It's an open forum not to be taken seriously.

chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 24d

Personally I am on the side of traumadumping on Reddit

TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 24d (4 replies)

That's some fucked up shit.

craftrabbit@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 24d (1 reply)

Yeah that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone

Bazoogle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 24d

I couldn't imagine having a Reddit account... The horrors

nullspace@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 24d

Pretty funny though.

0x0@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 23d

I know, right? Having a slice of cake instead of a full cake emoji is just lame. They use up the same bytes. Smh

SPRUNTnsfw@fedinsfw.app · 14 pts · 24d (1 reply)

I'm guessing she technically means ex-boyfriend.

0x0@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 23d

Why? Necrophilia is a thing.

victorz@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 24d

Gotta drop them grats tho

vivalapivo@lemmy.today · 13 pts · 23d (2 replies)

When I was 11 we got a puppy and I started walking this dog in the evenings. One evening I heard a girl screaming asking for help. A guy approached me and threatened me with a knife that he will stab me and my dog if I don't turn around. I turned around and the girl has probably been gang raped. Didn't tell anyone, but her scream haunts me at nights

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 23d (1 reply)

You were a child, don't be hard on yourself.

vivalapivo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 21d

I could've called the police

UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 23d

Maybe the remaining humans should only post QR codes on reddit. Then the bots would feel appreciated.

markon@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 24d (3 replies)

Dang glad I am here on Lemmy

RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip · 11 pts · 24d

Happy cock day!

TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 24d (1 reply)

it's not your cake day? f you

markon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 23d

Not cake day sorry 😔

umbrella@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 24d

thank you, my good gentlesir!

cRazi_man@europe.pub · 6 pts · 24d

Cake day is cake day

AuthenticSchedule@lemmus.org · 4 pts · 24d (2 replies)

What the genuine fuck did I just read. No abuse, no previous signs, no intervention? Really? Really?

sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz · 13 pts · 24d (1 reply)

Don't know, wasn't there.

AuthenticSchedule@lemmus.org · 1 pts · 24d

I thought so, I was just writing my questions out, because I don't know how tf that can just happen.

InvalidName2@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 23d

I think there's at least a 78% chance that "happy cake day" person works for broadcast television news, as this spiel is right down their alley.

In local news, two toddlers are dead after the car they were riding in collided with another vehicle on I-60. (jovial laughter and big smile) And in other news, watch the exciting finale of Big Brother tonight on KXY-TV at 8 PM, all your favorites will reveal what they were really thinking and find out who will win! I'm so excited to find out.

It's so fake. It's actually quite disgusting. And they all do it.

Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 23d (1 reply)

I bet money rest of the replies are along the lines of redditors going "oh so are you single?"

sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 23d

"I also choose this guy's girlfriend" 💀

CaptainMan251@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 22d

This makes me thankful to have gotten rid of my pistol as someone with bipolar disorder. There have been so many times I wanted to shoot myself, and I eventually got to the point of holding it to my head while my wife was doing a church event.

I cannot imagine her coming home from such a high and happy time, to that.

After that, I stopped denying my bipolar and got help. Finally.

Hope OOP is living well.