When you're chilling in the desert with your cool mask and neither hockey, machetes, nor youth camps will be invented for another couple thousand years sad serial killer noises
You can't lie and tell me if you didn't own this thing you wouldn't carry it around and test out putting it on in different situations to try and figure out what unlocks it's crazy ass mask magic.
"Full moon? ... nope. Nothing. Stroke of midnight? ... damn. Maybe I need to feed it some blood first?"
Then I would probably assume that 9,000 years ago there was a prophecy that humanity has forgotten about. Prolly something like:
When the Lord of Imbeciles rules the Empire of Eagles, and in violating the flesh of the children of men, unbound from law by dark pact and oath, banishes justice from the land, Those Forgotten will heed screams of pain and rage of innocence sundered an so bid the Mask of Zuul rise from its place 'neath ancient ash, an seek out Keymaster, he whom upon donning the Mask will break free the truth of the heavens, and lay bare the God, aloft in sight all along, his nature locked from mortal eye in shell of illusion since millenia 'fore history of man had begun, to the eyes of the world. Nanna, Sin, Gozer. God of Wisdom, Omens, Justice. The True God of the Moon. The God of Judgement, come in his time, to judge all world, for all world's dark crime.
Looks like something you find in Majora's Mask, probably in a desert. At the very least, the horrifying cinematic that plays when Link puts it on is quite fitting.
34 Comments
danekrae@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 32d
Jason Voorhees is older than we thought.
shweddy@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 32d
The lore implications are wild
danekrae@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 32d
I already have half of a crappy script in my head.
Jason 7000BC
Canadian_Cabinet@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 32d
That actually sounds like it'd be a cool spin on the series. I mean, you can never get as stupid as Jason X
griselbrandalf@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 31d
When you're chilling in the desert with your cool mask and neither hockey, machetes, nor youth camps will be invented for another couple thousand years sad serial killer noises
usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 32d
And hockey must be even older
arotrios@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 32d
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 28 pts · 32d
Looks shockingly well-preserved for 9000 years old.
Almost suspiciously so...
Godnroc@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 32d
Well, it looked a lot worse until the last person put it on.
voodooattack@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 32d
One sentence horror story?
isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 32d
It's a rock.
Glowstick@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 32d
Put it on
deliriousdreams@fedia.io · 18 pts · 32d
Put it back!
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 32d
Somebody STOP ME!
caseyweederman@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 31d
Bop it!
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 13 pts · 32d
Something tells me there used to be a lake there. Possibly one that was crystal clear.
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 13 pts · 32d
We have such wonders to show you…
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 32d
if you look at it just right, it kind of looks like Bitch McConnell smiling.
Manjushri@piefed.social · 4 pts · 31d
My God, that is horrifying. I can't help but wonder who is suffering and how to elicit that reaction from him.
Abyssian@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 32d
You can't lie and tell me if you didn't own this thing you wouldn't carry it around and test out putting it on in different situations to try and figure out what unlocks it's crazy ass mask magic.
"Full moon? ... nope. Nothing. Stroke of midnight? ... damn. Maybe I need to feed it some blood first?"
webp@mander.xyz · 4 pts · 31d
What if it causes the moon to impact the earth?
Abyssian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 31d
Then I would probably assume that 9,000 years ago there was a prophecy that humanity has forgotten about. Prolly something like:
When the Lord of Imbeciles rules the Empire of Eagles, and in violating the flesh of the children of men, unbound from law by dark pact and oath, banishes justice from the land, Those Forgotten will heed screams of pain and rage of innocence sundered an so bid the Mask of Zuul rise from its place 'neath ancient ash, an seek out Keymaster, he whom upon donning the Mask will break free the truth of the heavens, and lay bare the God, aloft in sight all along, his nature locked from mortal eye in shell of illusion since millenia 'fore history of man had begun, to the eyes of the world. Nanna, Sin, Gozer. God of Wisdom, Omens, Justice. The True God of the Moon. The God of Judgement, come in his time, to judge all world, for all world's dark crime.
taiyang@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 32d
Looks like something you find in Majora's Mask, probably in a desert. At the very least, the horrifying cinematic that plays when Link puts it on is quite fitting.
dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 32d
Can we call it “The face of Bo”? For funsies.
isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 32d
I choose to imagine Jesus and each of his disciples wore one of these at all times.
It never says in the Bible they weren't wearing creepy masks all the time!
Etterra@discuss.online · 4 pts · 31d
I don't like Jason Voorhees with teeth.
malean@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 31d
It gives Majora's Mask vibes
teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 31d
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-26533994
The real ones.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 3 pts · 32d
Is that a Jojo reference?
LostCarcosan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 31d
solidheron@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 31d
So would your nose smash up against the mask?
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 15d
they hadn't invented noses yet
ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 32d
Splitters!
Frostbeard@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 31d
@Delta_Green. You guys seen this?