i give myself like two minutes to ruminate, and either i come up with a specific actionable thing to bear in mind for the future or it was probably fine anyways.
Yes, you stop bothering. I never properly say hi and bye to all people I now,when I go to a place with a 20-50 people the. There is nobody who I hi/bye every time. It just doesn’t work, that’s how it is
Almost every interaction is like this, I feel like I'm just being annoying and bothering the person, even if I don't have any actual evidence to back my assumption up. This sucks the joy out of being social for me. It's so frustrating knowing what the problem is and still being unable to stop doing this.
And every little inconsequential "mistake" I make makes me feel bad and I can't stop thinking about it. It's like the more social interactions I have, the more of those I collect and don't forget.
It's like the Pokemon of social mistakes, gotta collect them all.
Jokes aside
Socialization is hard AF and only gets easier (and more fun) with practice. Think of it as any other skill, no one starts out good at it, no can improve at it without practice, and there's gonna be some hiccups along the way.
Will you become a masterful artist overnight? No.
Will you become a masterful carpenter overnight? No.
Will you master the art of conversation overnight? Also (and unsurprisingly) no.
We all make mistakes when learning and practicing skills, the hardest part is not letting those little mistakes eat us alive.
We all only get so many sunrises on this little mud ball suspended in a sun beam, and in 100 years no one is gonna remember your little social faux pas you have on your journey to learning social skills. But you know what will be remembered? Our positive impact on others, and the only way to get there is by making a few mistakes along the way.
32 Comments
reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net · 53 pts · 3d
Me and my partner made a rule not to ruminate on, rehash, or analyze awkward social moments, especially on the way home from the event. It helped
gilarelli@jlai.lu · 62 pts · 3d
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 36 pts · 3d
Not from a neurotypical
trashman@feddit.org · 5 pts · 3d
Only a, a... a Spectral deals in absolutes?
Damn it, this comment is not my best work...
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 1d
i give myself like two minutes to ruminate, and either i come up with a specific actionable thing to bear in mind for the future or it was probably fine anyways.
reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 23h
I like the window for self improvement:)
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 40 pts · 3d
Not since I stopped attending social situations.
Gormadt@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 3d
Practice makes perfect friend, the more practice you get the less often it happens
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 22 pts · 3d
True. After a couple decades of practice, I've made it so that in person social situations rarely happen.
p12s@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 3d
This is the way
N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 3d
Yes, you stop bothering. I never properly say hi and bye to all people I now,when I go to a place with a 20-50 people the. There is nobody who I hi/bye every time. It just doesn’t work, that’s how it is
bedwyr@piefed.ca · 30 pts · 3d
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 3d
Equinox1289@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 3d
I feel it even when I'm not in person.
PinkiePieYay2707@pawb.social · 28 pts · 3d
Basically daily ;-;
Malica@lemmy.zip · 18 pts · 3d
Autism strikes again
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 3d
Or social anxiety. Perhaps both 🤷🏻
Serinus@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3d
Not everything is autism. Half of internet "autism" is normal human behavior, sometimes turned up to 8 out of 10.
Malica@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 3d
I'm newly diagnosed, just going off my own experience
Dialectical_Specialist@quokk.au · 15 pts · 3d
I was kinda hoping this was how everyone leaves 99% of their social situations
...sighs
volore@scribe.disroot.org · 13 pts · 3d
oh, sure, but eventually you either get better at them or you just stop caring.
Equinox1289@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 3d
I feel I have hit the later, but I do get the occasional cringe attack when I remember.
Jimbo@pawb.social · 2 pts · 2d
I think a little of both is ideal
volore@scribe.disroot.org · 1 pts · 2d
sure, but I exist in the real world, not the ideal world, so...
FerretyFever0@fedia.io · 11 pts · 3d
Yes, I do that after nearly all of them.
lena@gregtech.eu · 9 pts · 3d
Almost every interaction is like this, I feel like I'm just being annoying and bothering the person, even if I don't have any actual evidence to back my assumption up. This sucks the joy out of being social for me. It's so frustrating knowing what the problem is and still being unable to stop doing this.
And every little inconsequential "mistake" I make makes me feel bad and I can't stop thinking about it. It's like the more social interactions I have, the more of those I collect and don't forget.
Gormadt@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 3d
It's like the Pokemon of social mistakes, gotta collect them all.
Jokes aside
Socialization is hard AF and only gets easier (and more fun) with practice. Think of it as any other skill, no one starts out good at it, no can improve at it without practice, and there's gonna be some hiccups along the way.
Will you become a masterful artist overnight? No.
Will you become a masterful carpenter overnight? No.
Will you master the art of conversation overnight? Also (and unsurprisingly) no.
We all make mistakes when learning and practicing skills, the hardest part is not letting those little mistakes eat us alive.
We all only get so many sunrises on this little mud ball suspended in a sun beam, and in 100 years no one is gonna remember your little social faux pas you have on your journey to learning social skills. But you know what will be remembered? Our positive impact on others, and the only way to get there is by making a few mistakes along the way.
red_tomato@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 3d
Just did that. I’m a professional at this point.
sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 3d
Ngl, I have completely stopped doing this since starting anti-anxiety meds. Maybe they ARE working...
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 3d
Nah usually I don't realize until much later
verdare@piefed.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 3d
These bitches don’t even know how to “yes, and…,” smh.
leann@piefed.zip · 4 pts · 3d
Often enough that I feel like I need to prep-talk myself before I got to social events 🫠️
GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca · 4 pts · 3d
More like, "Yeah, that was my best work."