c/politics · by Jonawan@lemmy.zip · 1d

Kash Patel defends FBI hiring policy on applicants who have engaged in bestiality

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/sep/15/kash-patel-fbi-hiring-policy-bestiality

212 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

TwodogsFighting@lemdro.id · 90 pts · 1d (5 replies)

arguing the FBI “did not want to punish victims of bestiality”

Makes sense. There's a donkey in charge of the FBI.

Blibly@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 1d

And a shit flinging ape in the white house

cogitase@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 22 pts · 1d

That horse snuck up on Mr. Hands and did that to him without his consent.

Insekticus@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 1d

Well, at least he looks surprised. Not like he could stop though.

SkybreakerEngineer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d

Like many things, he didn't think that through. Is he hiring non-humans now?

cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · -2 pts · 1d

i know you're joking but not all victims of beastiality are animals. in case anyone else was wondering

Lasherz12@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 1d (1 reply)

I didn't realize Republicans were serious when they were concern trolling that allowing gay people to be married would be like them marrying their dog because love is love. Turns out they just wanted to fuck dogs. Kinda unsurprising in hindsight.

daychilde@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1d

It's always projection with them.

ProIsh@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 1d (7 replies)

You fuck one goat...

daychilde@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1d (5 replies)

Hey look, everyone, it's Prolsh the Bridge Builder!

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d (4 replies)

who?

daychilde@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 23h (3 replies)

Prolsh the Bridge Builder.

Certainly not Prolsh the Goat Fucker.

(google "but you fuck one goat" to find the joke this subthread is playing with)

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 22h (2 replies)

sometimes it's more fun to give other people the punchline :3

daychilde@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 22h (1 reply)

Ah, gotcha. Sorry, my punchline to give it a new spin was assuming he was the goat fucker but pretending to know him as the bridge builder. lol

I didn't catch what you were doing. BTW, I'm an upvote for you, not your downvote. Silly Lemmy. I know points don't matter, but it's irritating anyway. lol

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 22h

Silly Lemmy [. I know] points

yes silly lemmy points

boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1d

Did someone say goat?

pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 1d (3 replies)

While Patel characterized the change as nondiscriminatory toward victims, Durbin refuted the notion and claimed it was a way to protect those who engaged in bestiality.

“You dropped automatic disqualification for applicants who have been engaged in bestiality, not victims of bestiality, applicants who have engaged,” Durbin said to Patel.

IHeartBadCode@fedia.io · 13 pts · 1d

Right? There's a legal distinction here and if the hiring people weren't aware of that distinction then, that's on the HR.

Someone who has engaged is VERY DIFFERENT than someone who is a victim of.

And you know, they're kind of a law agency related thing, the FBI is... Ya know?! Like the FBI does law stuff... Just. I don't have words here. It's like five year olds running the place or something and actually that feels insulting to five year olds.

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 8 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Which, even if the wording was wrong and that was the intent... were they turning away that many people? What is going on out there?

meco03211@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d

For the prostitution I could see that, but on the beastiality side... there's some questions

arak@lemmy.today · 16 pts · 1d

The Epstein class gets weirder. No fucking wonder the onion is boring, irl is more unbelievable

moldy_rice@piefed.keyboardvagabond.com · 16 pts · 1d (1 reply)

Sex work is not a crime.

Bestiality is a crime. Every time.

Uranus_Hz@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1d

“What’s the problem? It’s my puppy”

sem@piefed.blahaj.zone · 15 pts · 1d

So when i was in college i went to an on-campus FBI recruitment dinner because of the nice, free food. They did their whole song and dance, and at the very end, they said something like,

"Alright you college kids, we know this is behind the times, but drugs are illegal, and if you've smoked pot in the last 3 years or psychedelics in the last 10 years, we can't hire you, so start cleaning up your act now so we can hire you because we desperately need people with computer skills."

It was amazing how the mood changed in the room, many people immediately became disinterested, and they could tell.

Did the FBI ever relax their policy on weed?

Edit: looks like they changed weed to one year, but psychedelics are still 10 years. https://fbijobs.gov/sites/default/files/2025-02/guide_eligibility.pdf

Mulligrubs@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1d

A new low. Every day it seems more impossible, but every day a new low.

Humiliating and offensive to all Americans in my opinion.

"No universal healthcare, minimum wage of $7.25, and now our federal agents can fuck dogs" GOOD JOB

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1d

Routine 2026 headline.

mister_flibble@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1d

"It's called interspecies erotica fucko"

akmur@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1d

must have a convicted friend who needs that change to get in

inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1d

I think the other countries might be laughing at us

normalentrance@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 1d (2 replies)

They also removed prostitution and theft. I wonder if they included beastiality to draw attention from the other two? That's the only scenario where there is some plausible reason to include that in my mind.

Or they have a really shifty guy that fucked a dog or something and they need him for some reason.

They also might just be trying to distract from Don Jrs Russian oligarch funded wedding.

So many options. All bad.

Uranus_Hz@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 1d (1 reply)

If shooting puppies isn’t a disqualifier then why should fucking them be?

normalentrance@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 1d

I guess it depends if you are a gentle lover.

jordanlund@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1d (1 reply)

FBI is hiring animals now?

SailorFuzz@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1d

just pigs, mostly.

fartographer@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d