I didn’t sleep with the guy, the push back on condoms is a no because it’s rape-y vibes to try to argue with my boundaries. I was just curious if he was full of shit as well as being pushy.
I test regularly. Last everything test was June, but I did HIV self check in July.
It’s about the risk profile. STD risk will never be zero, so I like to weigh the risk versus fun. Any specific guy who’s pushing back against condoms gets a “no” because pushy behavior = rapey behavior, but if the military tests monthly or something, that’s useful information.
I think I’m your mirror opposite - I have zero attraction to women, but dominance is appealing regardless of gender. It’s authority, a confident person who thinks of my body as a tool for them to use, which I really look for.
I’ve had encounters with men similar to you - sometimes the fact that I have a vagina makes them more eager to penetrate me despite my male appearance, but I’ve also had men just want to hit me/tie me up.
It’s more that attractiveness is so completely subjective that you have zero idea what a person may or may not find attractive. The “looksmaxxing” stuff is absolutely stupid when you consider how half of TikTok is horny over a talking wooden basket guy.
The safest assumption in public is that most people are not interested in you sexually, and behave accordingly.
No, it’s more the suggestion that you should consider the worst case scenario - that the person you are ogling is actively uninterested in you, and try to empathize with that perspective.
I live in an area where a guys reaction to being gawked at by another man could easily be violence. I tend to avoid checking guys out unless I’m in a place where that is acceptable (eg, gay bars/extremely progressive areas of town)
I just imagine the vast majority of straight guys would find even a small amount of male attention unwanted (admittedly lemmy seems to be the place that attracts more bi guys/straight guys more likely to be flattered than upset. But this is not the majority of men.)
Like I think what one should try to imagine is someone they find unattractive/not compatible gender wise hitting on them. Like, you’re already stressed out from work, waiting in line to get lunch and suddenly you notice this person staring at your ass. When does it start to feel wrong?
More of a connoisseur. Grindr is a great place to get reference pics for art and I’d just appreciate a societal push for more effort in dick pic composition.
What I don’t understand is how anyone is capable of believing that a terribly lit picture of them tugging on their wiener over the toilet is sexually appealing.
Dicks are beautiful when they’re framed with respect. There’s so much variety in size, color, shape… Grindr is a good place to go if you want art references because you’ll see how crazy different guys dicks are from each other. But so few men spend more than 5 seconds thinking about how to properly display their assets.
I put on some Taking Back Sunday before inviting a guy over to use me.
He finishes, it’s fine, nothing to write home about. He’s getting ready to leave, throwing away the condom, etc, and all you can hear is the music. A Decade Under the Influence comes on, so as he’s putting on his pants it gets to the chorus: “ANYONE WILL DO TONIGHT (anyone will do tonight), CLOSE YOUR EYES JUST SETTLE SETTLE.” And it just keeps repeating over and over…
Absolutely awkward as fuck and I think he blocked me after ☠️
I stick to music without lyrics nowadays - mostly vapor wave/elevator music.
As someone who has a lot of casual sex, I do get worried when a guy mentions anal. It’s not the act itself that is a “red flag” but just that it’s depressingly common for it to continue coming up after that first “no.” It does take me back to the multiple times I have had a guy try the “oops wrong hole!” maneuver which occasionally does just turn into rape. It does absolutely ruin the moment/knock me out of my headspace when a guy asks during sex (especially after he’s already been told no), because it’s really scary when you are in that situation where they can just rape you.
Anal can feel good for someone with “female anatomy” but it takes more work to get there. There’s no prostate so there’s no direct sexual stimulation. Most people with vaginas don’t even orgasm from vaginal penetration! Most cis women also don’t tend to have a lot of experience with the prep work needed to have a good time/have spent time figuring out what feels good.
I personally am not a huge fan of it, despite wanting to like it. I have a couple of guys who have begged me for more than a year at this point and it’s the type of thing that I would be delighted to do if it didn’t feel so awkward and uncomfortable for me (and I literally had someone use me as an ash tray last night). I know it can be enjoyable - the only time a guy has made me orgasm by fucking me was anally - but you have to be a lot more slow and careful than many guys I’ve met seem to be capable of going. If your stereotypical dude bro can’t find a clitoris, how likely is he going to be gently figuring an asshole in the way it needs to get comfortable with it?
It is also associated with degradation/pain. Consider the popularity of subreddits like r/painal. It’s not uncommon in feminist circles to view heterosexual anal sex as nothing but a painful humiliation ritual - that there is nothing pleasurable about it and it is often painful. That works as symbolism of a lot of the problems surrounding stereotypical heterosexual sex dynamics (sex as something wanted by men and tolerated by women)
I’ll say the fact that you fuck yourself anally (and are open about it) would probably cancel out a lot of those red flags. You don’t view being penetrated anally as inherently degrading and painful, you know that it can be pleasurable if done correctly, and you know to not just jam it in! There’s a joke where a woman says she’ll do anal if she gets to top first, but there’s a lot of truth to it - it’s considered good practice in BDSM communities for tops to experience the they do to their subs first.
(Also, not telling you to creep on transgender women, but I’m sure you can find many of them do enjoy penetrative anal sex.)
I’ve kinda given up on monogamy and have been thriving.
Both my sex drive and my need for attention/stimulation exceed that of any one individual person’s ability to provide. Now, I have something like a rotating stable of FWBs, with varying emphasis on the F versus B aspects.
I do probably fit the “collect them all” extreme, which most people probably don’t. It’s a very fun challenge to see how many men I can get to come over in a single day.
I’m a huge fan of impact play. I’m working on making a “cat of nine tails” with cat 9 cables. I have a flogger with key chains.
Getting slapped or spanked or flogged puts me into a submissive headspace really quickly. It makes me feel like my body is just a tool for physical release.
Shooting from underneath is creative, but I think your dick being cut off on the side is hampering this. I’d try again, making sure that it is fully in frame.
I think also posing such that the trunks of both of your legs are a bit more in view would also work better for this - something that gives the impression that the viewer is underneath you.
Peeing for someone else stresses me out. I’m very piss shy and can’t do it under pressure. Big problem when I have to get samples for a doctor.
Being pissed on is very fun though. It’s best in the shower so there’s no need to clean up, but sometimes I’ve laid out a bunch of towels and not had the worst time with laundry.
Needs more context. We’re kinda just swimming in flesh here, so it’s more Cronenberg than Mapplethorpe.
I don’t like the hand position either. That kinda “squeezing the dick” pose is comes across as insecurity imho.
I’d hold the camera a little bit further out to where the top of the dick rests about one third of the way down the image with the rest of the dick hanging down and filling out the bottom two thirds. The top third should show some the bottom of the abdomen/any happy trails. Include some balls, don’t hide them with your hand.
Maybe it’s a group all taking turns until your orgasm is an absolutely inevitability?
That’s my favorite. I’ve had a train of three so far today, working on my fourth. I get more and more submissive after each guy until my mind just completely blanks.
United States
I didn’t sleep with the guy, the push back on condoms is a no because it’s rape-y vibes to try to argue with my boundaries. I was just curious if he was full of shit as well as being pushy.
I test regularly. Last everything test was June, but I did HIV self check in July.
It’s about the risk profile. STD risk will never be zero, so I like to weigh the risk versus fun. Any specific guy who’s pushing back against condoms gets a “no” because pushy behavior = rapey behavior, but if the military tests monthly or something, that’s useful information.
I think I’m your mirror opposite - I have zero attraction to women, but dominance is appealing regardless of gender. It’s authority, a confident person who thinks of my body as a tool for them to use, which I really look for.
I’ve had encounters with men similar to you - sometimes the fact that I have a vagina makes them more eager to penetrate me despite my male appearance, but I’ve also had men just want to hit me/tie me up.
Good angle, good composition although I think angling it so there was more of your balls visible would improve it. Good dominant pose.
It’s more that attractiveness is so completely subjective that you have zero idea what a person may or may not find attractive. The “looksmaxxing” stuff is absolutely stupid when you consider how half of TikTok is horny over a talking wooden basket guy.
The safest assumption in public is that most people are not interested in you sexually, and behave accordingly.
No, it’s more the suggestion that you should consider the worst case scenario - that the person you are ogling is actively uninterested in you, and try to empathize with that perspective.
I live in an area where a guys reaction to being gawked at by another man could easily be violence. I tend to avoid checking guys out unless I’m in a place where that is acceptable (eg, gay bars/extremely progressive areas of town)
I just imagine the vast majority of straight guys would find even a small amount of male attention unwanted (admittedly lemmy seems to be the place that attracts more bi guys/straight guys more likely to be flattered than upset. But this is not the majority of men.)
Like I think what one should try to imagine is someone they find unattractive/not compatible gender wise hitting on them. Like, you’re already stressed out from work, waiting in line to get lunch and suddenly you notice this person staring at your ass. When does it start to feel wrong?
I think what would help here is switch the positions.
What would you feel comfortable with if a guy was looking at your ass?
More of a connoisseur. Grindr is a great place to get reference pics for art and I’d just appreciate a societal push for more effort in dick pic composition.
What I don’t understand is how anyone is capable of believing that a terribly lit picture of them tugging on their wiener over the toilet is sexually appealing.
Dicks are beautiful when they’re framed with respect. There’s so much variety in size, color, shape… Grindr is a good place to go if you want art references because you’ll see how crazy different guys dicks are from each other. But so few men spend more than 5 seconds thinking about how to properly display their assets.
I put on some Taking Back Sunday before inviting a guy over to use me.
He finishes, it’s fine, nothing to write home about. He’s getting ready to leave, throwing away the condom, etc, and all you can hear is the music. A Decade Under the Influence comes on, so as he’s putting on his pants it gets to the chorus: “ANYONE WILL DO TONIGHT (anyone will do tonight), CLOSE YOUR EYES JUST SETTLE SETTLE.” And it just keeps repeating over and over…
Absolutely awkward as fuck and I think he blocked me after ☠️
I stick to music without lyrics nowadays - mostly vapor wave/elevator music.
As someone who has a lot of casual sex, I do get worried when a guy mentions anal. It’s not the act itself that is a “red flag” but just that it’s depressingly common for it to continue coming up after that first “no.” It does take me back to the multiple times I have had a guy try the “oops wrong hole!” maneuver which occasionally does just turn into rape. It does absolutely ruin the moment/knock me out of my headspace when a guy asks during sex (especially after he’s already been told no), because it’s really scary when you are in that situation where they can just rape you.
Anal can feel good for someone with “female anatomy” but it takes more work to get there. There’s no prostate so there’s no direct sexual stimulation. Most people with vaginas don’t even orgasm from vaginal penetration! Most cis women also don’t tend to have a lot of experience with the prep work needed to have a good time/have spent time figuring out what feels good.
I personally am not a huge fan of it, despite wanting to like it. I have a couple of guys who have begged me for more than a year at this point and it’s the type of thing that I would be delighted to do if it didn’t feel so awkward and uncomfortable for me (and I literally had someone use me as an ash tray last night). I know it can be enjoyable - the only time a guy has made me orgasm by fucking me was anally - but you have to be a lot more slow and careful than many guys I’ve met seem to be capable of going. If your stereotypical dude bro can’t find a clitoris, how likely is he going to be gently figuring an asshole in the way it needs to get comfortable with it?
It is also associated with degradation/pain. Consider the popularity of subreddits like r/painal. It’s not uncommon in feminist circles to view heterosexual anal sex as nothing but a painful humiliation ritual - that there is nothing pleasurable about it and it is often painful. That works as symbolism of a lot of the problems surrounding stereotypical heterosexual sex dynamics (sex as something wanted by men and tolerated by women)
I’ll say the fact that you fuck yourself anally (and are open about it) would probably cancel out a lot of those red flags. You don’t view being penetrated anally as inherently degrading and painful, you know that it can be pleasurable if done correctly, and you know to not just jam it in! There’s a joke where a woman says she’ll do anal if she gets to top first, but there’s a lot of truth to it - it’s considered good practice in BDSM communities for tops to experience the they do to their subs first.
(Also, not telling you to creep on transgender women, but I’m sure you can find many of them do enjoy penetrative anal sex.)
Once upon a time, I had an argument with a woman who was convinced that any transgender man servicing a glory hole in a men’s restroom was a rapist.
I’ve kinda given up on monogamy and have been thriving.
Both my sex drive and my need for attention/stimulation exceed that of any one individual person’s ability to provide. Now, I have something like a rotating stable of FWBs, with varying emphasis on the F versus B aspects.
I do probably fit the “collect them all” extreme, which most people probably don’t. It’s a very fun challenge to see how many men I can get to come over in a single day.
I’m a huge fan of impact play. I’m working on making a “cat of nine tails” with cat 9 cables. I have a flogger with key chains.
Getting slapped or spanked or flogged puts me into a submissive headspace really quickly. It makes me feel like my body is just a tool for physical release.
Shooting from underneath is creative, but I think your dick being cut off on the side is hampering this. I’d try again, making sure that it is fully in frame.
I think also posing such that the trunks of both of your legs are a bit more in view would also work better for this - something that gives the impression that the viewer is underneath you.
I’ve done both.
Peeing for someone else stresses me out. I’m very piss shy and can’t do it under pressure. Big problem when I have to get samples for a doctor.
Being pissed on is very fun though. It’s best in the shower so there’s no need to clean up, but sometimes I’ve laid out a bunch of towels and not had the worst time with laundry.
Needs more context. We’re kinda just swimming in flesh here, so it’s more Cronenberg than Mapplethorpe.
I don’t like the hand position either. That kinda “squeezing the dick” pose is comes across as insecurity imho.
I’d hold the camera a little bit further out to where the top of the dick rests about one third of the way down the image with the rest of the dick hanging down and filling out the bottom two thirds. The top third should show some the bottom of the abdomen/any happy trails. Include some balls, don’t hide them with your hand.
That’s my favorite. I’ve had a train of three so far today, working on my fourth. I get more and more submissive after each guy until my mind just completely blanks.