Anon deals with crows

878 points · 93 comments · view on lemmy.world

93 Comments

Broadfern@lemmy.world · 188 pts · 333d (1 reply)

They have the money but probably aren’t allowed in the stores to buy it themselves.

It’s either

1.) Facilitating the financial self-sufficiency of local avian wildlife or

2.) The bird equivalent of buying alcohol for your kid cousins who are standing outside the liquor store.

Denjin@feddit.uk · 48 pts · 333d

Both of which are rad

djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 182 pts · 333d (12 replies)

if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation where you're the sugar daddy for a murder of crows, get them some nice peanuts and sunflower seeds instead! bread isn't good for birds!

MeatPilot@lemmy.world · 63 pts · 333d (6 replies)

Seed me daddy! I don't want bread.

OwO

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 16 pts · 333d (2 replies)

You don't want to be bread?

Oh well...

felbane@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 332d
Aneb@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 333d

Bread crumbs is all I have rn

argarath@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 331d (1 reply)

Bird furries tend to use OvO instead because the v looks like a beak owo

MeatPilot@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 331d

Learn something new everyday.

Dasus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 333d

Username does not check out. My crow friends love meatballs.

PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 26 pts · 333d (2 replies)

Ehh. You're more of a fence than a sugar daddy. You move stolen loot for a cut.

Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 333d (1 reply)

Also, one assumes you're not fucking them.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 12 pts · 333d

Bold to assume

maxwells_daemon@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 333d

Brand new sentence

thaklor@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 333d

Murder-daddy

Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca · 90 pts · 333d (6 replies)

I kinda wish all the stray/feral cats I've befriended would start coughing up some cash once in awhile instead of dead mice and hairballs for me.

RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com · 34 pts · 333d (4 replies)

You lack gratitude.

InnerScientist@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 333d

And money!

baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 333d (2 replies)

the cats lack humanity

RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com · 12 pts · 333d

You lack felinity.

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 333d

And they wouldn't have it any other way!

drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 302d

You can eat mice. Cash is captualism's leash. Live the stray life.

glibg@lemmy.ca · 65 pts · 333d (16 replies)

The photo is of a raven, not a crow. That said, exchanges of this sort with corvids has always been a bucket list item of mine.

Juice@midwest.social · 74 pts · 333d (10 replies)

What is the difference between a raven and a crow? One major difference is that ravens have 3 pinion feathers on each wing, whereas crows only have two.

So its really just a difference of a pinion

laranis@lemmy.zip · 32 pts · 333d

Goddamnit. Sitting here ready to subscribe to crow facts and you got me with a freakin pinion joke.

Well done.

thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 333d (8 replies)

Apparently, ravens are so huge that if you see one you will not be in doubt that it can't be a crow. At least that's what I've been told.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 333d (1 reply)

TBF even crows are a lot bigger than what I always thought crows were. I've seen them up close since I've been feeding my local murder peanuts, and these guys are the size of roaster chickens.

thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 332d

The guy that told me this lives close by, and we have plenty of crows here. His way of saying it made it clear that the "chicken-sized" crows we have around here are small compared to a raven.

Ledivin@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 333d (1 reply)

This is how it was explained to me by a very elderly, birdwatching family member... If you ever go "whoa, that's a really big crow," you're probably wrong

Mirshe@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 332d

Yup. The few I met at Yellowstone were approaching small eagle size.

MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 333d

Raven at the Tower of London. They are big, with massive beaks.

glibg@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 333d

Yup. They also have a way bigger beak and "scruffier" looking feathers, which is what I noticed in the pic. I love birds.

Juice@midwest.social · 5 pts · 333d

That sounds rippin

Lyrl@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 332d

True in Europe and the US, but not everywhere. Corvids are a hugely successful animal class, and there are related species all over the world locally called crows and ravens. Some places the local species called ravens are bigger. Other places the local species called crows are bigger.

TheOctonaut@mander.xyz · 18 pts · 333d

Here's the thing...

okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 333d

Don't let your dreams be dreams, future bro to birds

Pandantic@midwest.social · 3 pts · 333d (2 replies)

Same!! 🥺 I have a bunch that live by me, but they have a far enough range so I don’t see them every day and can’t seem to get their attention. Any corvid experts here that can give me some tips?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 332d (1 reply)

Dammit I gotta figure out tags because I want to tag you "Cawlin"

everett@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 332d

I think it's up to your client app to implement.

badelf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 63 pts · 333d (1 reply)

$20 for bread crumbs?! These crows must be living in the USA.

Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 11 pts · 333d

😂 the allegory

LOLseas@sh.itjust.works · 58 pts · 333d (3 replies)
ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 27 pts · 333d (2 replies)

What about Ezekiel bread? (Made from legumes, not grains)

LOLseas@sh.itjust.works · 27 pts · 333d (1 reply)

Yesh. Ezekiel bread is okay. Good catch.

Pandantic@midwest.social · 3 pts · 333d

This tracks for $20 for bread. That shits except expensive! 😭

kromem@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 333d (1 reply)

Murder for hire

lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org · 8 pts · 332d

My favorite emo band

notso@feddit.org · 40 pts · 332d

Anón when an old lady shows up to feed the crows:

MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca · 36 pts · 332d

It's bold of Anon to assume that the crows are not earning the money legitimately.

That's racist.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 333d (9 replies)

I've been feeding roasted (and unsalted) peanuts to my local crows for three years now. Those ungrateful bastards haven't given me shit in return. One time I thought they had given me some little seeds and berries, but I realized they had just puked those up to make room for the peanuts.

ArsonButCute@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 25 pts · 333d (3 replies)

Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?

I knew a guy years ago who managed to start trading with the crows in our neighborhood by having a table with two sections, one with bird snackies, the other empty (I think he may have put some foil there at one point?) so they'd have a place to put their payment.

The always got little plastic things, bits of mylar, twistie ties and what not.

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 333d (2 replies)

Do you have a designated table you put the peanuts on?

Lol I get enough abuse from my neighbors for feeding the crows as it is. If I put out a crow table they're going to sic ICE on me.

Pandantic@midwest.social · 8 pts · 333d

There she is now officer! The crow lady!!

alekwithak@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 332d

Start messing with the crows while dressed as ICE, then when they do show up the crows will know what to do.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 332d (2 replies)

ungrateful bastards

You know maybe if you have them better nuts than peanut they'd be more appreciative. Also cold hard cash.

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 331d (1 reply)

Are legumes okay for crows? I know they are omnivores (really interesting to see their bigger cousins, the ravens, pick off ducklings). Especially peanuts that become kinda weird when you chew them. Crows have gizzards, right?

ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 331d

I'm no crow expert. I know they eat peanuts and I know they eat roadkill squirrel. That's the end of my knowledge.

driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br · 26 pts · 333d

Florida man arrested after training crows to steal the declaration of independence for him.

Batman@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 332d

That's just one distribution method of the mint. They find dollars go through more hands on average if they are given to crows by this man's lake. He should not feel guilty for stimulating my economy.

TomasEkeli@programming.dev · 23 pts · 333d (1 reply)

Buy them some unsalted peanuts or walnuts. They will worship you as the god you are.

Barking@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 333d

They also like boiled eggs... ...source - our local crows at the park

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 23 pts · 333d (1 reply)

OP is a modern Fagin

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 333d

you can't just call people by that slur

ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 333d (20 replies)

a lot of people have trained crows to steal money for them… it’s very illegal….
probably not getting cash from restaurant tables.:.
people have also trained ferrets to steal jewelry and used them as burglars….

hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 28 pts · 333d (2 replies)

It's not "training crows to steal money", it's introducing crows to capitalism

ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 333d

for the crows it’s a gift-based society, not capitalism

Throskie@midwest.social · 4 pts · 333d

Theyrethesamepicture.jpg

ICastFist@programming.dev · 17 pts · 333d (4 replies)

brb, checking local laws on "training animals to do crime"

ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 333d (3 replies)

this is why ferrets are illegal in California

MrShankles@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 333d

I wanna believe that to be true and can't be bothered to look it up. So, I now know why ferrets are illegal in California!

ICastFist@programming.dev · 1 pts · 333d (1 reply)

Bummer. What about having a Florida Man?

ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 333d

well then he’d become a california man

Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 333d (10 replies)

I want to train a common animal to pick locks. Any recommendations?

ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 333d (5 replies)

yes, get a transparent lock and picks from any large online retailer….
they’re cheap, easy, fun, and drastically increases your chances of survival in a zombie apocalypse

Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 333d (4 replies)

Alas, possession of lock picks is the crime for my locale. Id love to get into it when i can get put of here tho

ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 333d (1 reply)

it’s usually only a crime if you have possession of them while committing another crime…

abbotsbury@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 332d

Yeah but you're only supposed to do 1 crime at a time

Pandantic@midwest.social · 2 pts · 333d

Feed crows, do crimes.

thejoker954@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 333d

It's only a crime if you get caught...

abbotsbury@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 333d (1 reply)

Raccoons have opposable thumbs and thief masks, definitely S tier lockpicker race

Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 333d

I think so too, but how are their teaching skills? I want to cause a multi-generational problem of raccoons robbing vending machines.

ViaGetty@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 333d

A black bear in the Adirondacks (her name was Yellow-Yellow) learned and is believed to have taught her cubs how to open BearVault canisters. she was shot in 2012 but Adirondack bears continue chewing through canisters...

AtariDump@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 333d

Ferret; they have little “hands” (I think)

tostiman@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 333d

For some reason i read 'cows' instead of 'crows'

jawa21@piefed.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 333d
[ removed ]
ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 333d

This is the worst comic book villain origin story ever

Etterra@discuss.online · 5 pts · 332d

I want my own money stealing finding murder of crows.

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 333d

Not greentext. Think I found a new career!

peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 332d

Give them bird seed instead

Afflictedlife@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 333d

Op discovers they are a druid

InvalidName2@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 333d

I wish the crows around my parts would do that. The ones around here just generally act like a menace to society.

protist@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 333d

problamy