Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously stealing. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men stealing together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
This is 100% correct in the IT world. I have a split IT dept due to mergers (its a whole thing, people are fighting to not give up knowlage on systems so their position looks useful to mgmt... its fucked) and the other side of the fence are the most useless window-lickers ever because their tier 1 just closes things almost at random to bump their numbers up.
Oh man, my workplace switched to an external IT support company, InfoSys, which pulls basically the same scam.
When you open a ticket, they immediately write something underneath – typically a question that's already answered in the ticket – because it shows up in their statistics as low response times.
Then they'll do shit like split up your ticket into three new tickets for no good reason.
And if you happen to be on holiday for a few days and therefore don't respond, they'll close your tickets due to inactivity.
Then you have to open a new ticket and link to the old ticket, if you can still access it, and then re-answer the same braindead questions again.
Basically, if it's something you can solve yourself, you should, because it will take more time to communicate back and forth with InfoSys.
When you open a ticket, they immediately write something underneath – typically a question that's already answered in the ticket – because it shows up in their statistics as low response times.
Fuck! So THAT'S why! I had wondered why the fuck companies would quickly restate my problem "just to confirm" and then take several days to respond after that 🤦🤬
I work in IT and in similar systems, the reason from my perspective to do this is when a ticket comes in a timer will start ticking. Whenever the ball isn't in our court that timer is cancelled. If i set status "pending user" and throw a dumb question it is paused. If more than 10% or whatever amount was agreed on when the contract was signed our company has to pay for not living up to expectations.
There's a lot of rule bending to make this work in our favour.
Of course different providers will use different metrics like how long before the ticket was handled etc.
Online retailers, too. Item goes from ordered to processing to shipping in a half hour. Takes a week or more to go from shipping to shipped.
Item can’t be cancelled without a restock fee if it’s in shipping — which is fine (I guess) if the item takes the provided time estimate to arrive.
Yeah, I think, it's important to name and shame, because they actively avoid providing the service that they advertise, but I do also expect this to be a common pattern in the industry. If you actually solved problems and did so permanently, you'd be out of business very quickly. External support providers have an inherent interest for things to work as badly as possible, so long as it does not get their contract cancelled.
Then you get other side-effects, like them ignoring or infinitely delaying tickets that are harder to solve. It's a somewhat universal rule of capitalism: As soon as there is a metric for success, the goal is to game that metric as much as possible, because that maximizes the supposed success while minimizing costs.
You can try to define multiple metrics to make this more difficult. And you can set a higher target value than necessary, so that even with the gaming, it's still within an acceptable margin.
But IMHO it's still better to just treat it as a cost of doing business than to invest lots of money to try to make it measurable in an attempt to reduce the money spent.
It offends advertisers. To be honest I would be really interested in seeing if anyone has actually studied if any of this shit even does anything. Like it seems like complete nonsense that seeing a coca cola ad next to a post about theft would make someone less likely to buy coke in the future but we are currently ruining society based on this premise.
Hard agree here. The internet was better before every single aspect of it got monetized. It was cool when ads were just banner ads on websites sometimes with silly gifs.
I don't know if anyone has studied it, but I know why it exists
It's to sell higher quality ad slots. When a company goes to buy ads through AdSense, they get a ton of customization options. This one would be something like "avoid mentions of criminality". And a lot of companies just check that, because why not?
Companies do actually care about appearing next to NSFW stuff, because it "taints their image"
How much does it actually affect sales? Who knows, marketing has kind of lost the plot, and Google has been caught rampantly lying about conversion metrics and the ad slots themselves in all kinds of ways, so I don't think the data to answer that question actually exists
I know why it happens, I just refuse to believe that these ad spaces are actually higher quality by any meaningful metric, especially considering how much they are ruining society.
I agree with that, I think marketing as a whole is largely a way to hack human behavior, and because it's so insanely profitable it's such a soft science it's basically witchcraft
Thank you for replying to my ticket. Unfortunately, the key word in your recommendation appears to be censored. Could you take a look at the safety filter and try again?
Does anybody else’s company do this with laptops? You tell them something doesn’t work so they take it and just give you someone else’s that had an issue they didn’t fix?
Um no... I work for a normal organization that has a financing deal for laptops and they don't give a shit how many we go through as long as it's not the contracts upper limit. Honestly I wonder where all these laptops go at the end of their 3 year term...
Sort of. Only because they don't maintain their asset register correctly and the ticket system is shite. Dodgy equipment does end up going out but not always at the fault of the person issuing it.
An anecdote tells of the British government's bounty on dead Indian cobras giving locals the perverse incentive to start breeding the snakes, to be able to kill more of them
Big difference. My dumb ass could be an IT guy. I can fix printers and replace peripherals. I can't troubleshoot a database. I am not an IT Professional.
68 Comments
Rothe@piefed.social · 188 pts · 341d
Thank god for censoring "stole". I don't know what I would have done had I been able to read that word.
goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 111 pts · 341d
Better close your fuckin eyes then 'cause I don't play this game
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 52 pts · 341d
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously stealing. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men stealing together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
Konstant@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 341d
This is the plot of Ocean's 69.
toynbee@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 341d
Due to your comment, you have received a note with positive connotations in my client.
SnoringEarthworm@sh.itjust.works · 55 pts · 341d
I read the word st*le in your comment and was forced to take candy from a baby.
Please, censor your comment to protect the innocent.
yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de · 24 pts · 341d
What's "stole"?
Don't you mean st🔴le?
elephantium@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 339d
It's a type of scarf.
criss_cross@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 341d
The advertiser overlords would have to rain death from above.
Klear@quokk.au · 125 pts · 341d
FTFY
TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 341d
Pls cross post this to !illegalism@lemmy.dbzer0.com lol
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 118 pts · 341d
"When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."
- Goodhart's law
Bahnd@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 341d
This is 100% correct in the IT world. I have a split IT dept due to mergers (its a whole thing, people are fighting to not give up knowlage on systems so their position looks useful to mgmt... its fucked) and the other side of the fence are the most useless window-lickers ever because their tier 1 just closes things almost at random to bump their numbers up.
Hasherm0n@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 341d
It's a huge problem in any industry. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wells_Fargo_cross-selling_scandal
CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 341d
I have no idea what this phrase means but immediately knew who you were talking about.
RustyShackleford@programming.dev · 1 pts · 339d
knowledge
Ephera@lemmy.ml · 89 pts · 341d
Oh man, my workplace switched to an external IT support company, InfoSys, which pulls basically the same scam.
When you open a ticket, they immediately write something underneath – typically a question that's already answered in the ticket – because it shows up in their statistics as low response times.
Then they'll do shit like split up your ticket into three new tickets for no good reason.
And if you happen to be on holiday for a few days and therefore don't respond, they'll close your tickets due to inactivity.
Then you have to open a new ticket and link to the old ticket, if you can still access it, and then re-answer the same braindead questions again.
Basically, if it's something you can solve yourself, you should, because it will take more time to communicate back and forth with InfoSys.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 37 pts · 341d
Fuck! So THAT'S why! I had wondered why the fuck companies would quickly restate my problem "just to confirm" and then take several days to respond after that 🤦🤬
boboliosisjones@feddit.nu · 5 pts · 341d
I work in IT and in similar systems, the reason from my perspective to do this is when a ticket comes in a timer will start ticking. Whenever the ball isn't in our court that timer is cancelled. If i set status "pending user" and throw a dumb question it is paused. If more than 10% or whatever amount was agreed on when the contract was signed our company has to pay for not living up to expectations.
There's a lot of rule bending to make this work in our favour.
Of course different providers will use different metrics like how long before the ticket was handled etc.
Monument@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 341d
Online retailers, too. Item goes from ordered to processing to shipping in a half hour. Takes a week or more to go from shipping to shipped.
Item can’t be cancelled without a restock fee if it’s in shipping — which is fine (I guess) if the item takes the provided time estimate to arrive.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 341d
Thanks for the name. Though in this case it's more the pattern you should watch out for.
Ephera@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 341d
Yeah, I think, it's important to name and shame, because they actively avoid providing the service that they advertise, but I do also expect this to be a common pattern in the industry. If you actually solved problems and did so permanently, you'd be out of business very quickly. External support providers have an inherent interest for things to work as badly as possible, so long as it does not get their contract cancelled.
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 341d
Naw, PEBKAC and ID10T issues provide an unlimited supply of tickets. Support is a gravy train even when done effectively.
Ephera@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 341d
Well, yeah, you might just get pushed out by competitors who supposedly have much lower cost per solved ticket...
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 341d
Require condition of solved for payment, in the contract?
Ephera@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 341d
Then you get other side-effects, like them ignoring or infinitely delaying tickets that are harder to solve. It's a somewhat universal rule of capitalism: As soon as there is a metric for success, the goal is to game that metric as much as possible, because that maximizes the supposed success while minimizing costs.
You can try to define multiple metrics to make this more difficult. And you can set a higher target value than necessary, so that even with the gaming, it's still within an acceptable margin.
But IMHO it's still better to just treat it as a cost of doing business than to invest lots of money to try to make it measurable in an attempt to reduce the money spent.
mkhopper@lemmy.world · 79 pts · 341d
We're truly fucked as a society if the word "stole" offends/triggers/shocks anyone.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 341d
as a thief, I am offended. btw I'm suing you because your transgender flag in your bedroom triggered my PTSD when I was "re-appropriating" it.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 341d
Well I'm counter suing because when I got served with your lawsuit, it gave me the nastiest papercut!
markovs_gun@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 341d
It offends advertisers. To be honest I would be really interested in seeing if anyone has actually studied if any of this shit even does anything. Like it seems like complete nonsense that seeing a coca cola ad next to a post about theft would make someone less likely to buy coke in the future but we are currently ruining society based on this premise.
BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 340d
I do get tired of every piece of every thing we produce in any fashion being something to monetize somehow for ad revenue.
PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 340d
Hard agree here. The internet was better before every single aspect of it got monetized. It was cool when ads were just banner ads on websites sometimes with silly gifs.
theneverfox@pawb.social · 1 pts · 340d
I don't know if anyone has studied it, but I know why it exists
It's to sell higher quality ad slots. When a company goes to buy ads through AdSense, they get a ton of customization options. This one would be something like "avoid mentions of criminality". And a lot of companies just check that, because why not?
Companies do actually care about appearing next to NSFW stuff, because it "taints their image"
How much does it actually affect sales? Who knows, marketing has kind of lost the plot, and Google has been caught rampantly lying about conversion metrics and the ad slots themselves in all kinds of ways, so I don't think the data to answer that question actually exists
markovs_gun@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 339d
I know why it happens, I just refuse to believe that these ad spaces are actually higher quality by any meaningful metric, especially considering how much they are ruining society.
theneverfox@pawb.social · 1 pts · 339d
I agree with that, I think marketing as a whole is largely a way to hack human behavior, and because it's so insanely profitable it's such a soft science it's basically witchcraft
Antagnostic@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 341d
Any system that can be gamed, will be gamed.
bradbeattie@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 341d
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perverse_incentive
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 341d
Corporate KPIs don't even need to be that perverse. A slight misalignment causes massive inefficiencies.
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 340d
KPIs and goodhart's law ❤️
NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz · 41 pts · 341d
The real question is: how did the receptionist file the ticket?
7355608@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 341d
On screen keyboard would be my bet. Another few possibilities I can think of would be on their phone, or even in person.
Bashnagdul@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 341d
Another pc in the building? Asking a colleague? There's 100s of options really..
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz · 6 pts · 341d
"Hey ! Isn't that my keyboard ?!"
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 341d
Companies probably tend to buy identical (and often shitty) keyboards in bulk for everyone not in middle management and above 🤷
gdog05@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 341d
"But this one has my post-it note with all of my passwords"
gnutrino@programming.dev · 1 pts · 341d
My bet would be they made up a funny story for internet points. But maybe I've been online too long and become cynical.
Katana314@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 341d
IT,
Thank you for replying to my ticket. Unfortunately, the key word in your recommendation appears to be censored. Could you take a look at the safety filter and try again?
BootLoop@sh.itjust.works · 39 pts · 340d
Close your eyes OP, I'm about to say a naughty word.
Stole.
ms_lane@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 340d
No, that's the TrackPoint™
elephantium@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 339d
Clit mouse?
buddascrayon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 339d
The term is reappropriate. And it is perfectly legal according to congress.
tja@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 341d
At first I was reading bone structure and was wondering how that would work
Simon@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 341d
Some sort of super hero who gets stronger every time they solve an it issue?
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 341d
wulrus@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 341d
The image is really misleading into exactly that.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 341d
Power corrupts, IT management corrupts absolutely.
Klairabelle@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 341d
Does anybody else’s company do this with laptops? You tell them something doesn’t work so they take it and just give you someone else’s that had an issue they didn’t fix?
Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 341d
Um no... I work for a normal organization that has a financing deal for laptops and they don't give a shit how many we go through as long as it's not the contracts upper limit. Honestly I wonder where all these laptops go at the end of their 3 year term...
The_v@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 341d
Hard drives are wiped and sold as "refurbished" to cheaper companies.
Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 341d
Sort of. Only because they don't maintain their asset register correctly and the ticket system is shite. Dodgy equipment does end up going out but not always at the fault of the person issuing it.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 339d
The Cobra Effect
slazer2au@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 341d
Sounds like a BOFH
https://www.theregister.com/offbeat/bofh/
Slovene@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 341d
You don't need to unplug a printer for someone to need help with it:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dgIAWko4QxU
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 341d
Does the company also happen to have a cobra problem?
Deflated0ne@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 341d
Smartest IT guy.
Not IT Professional. IT Guy.
Big difference. My dumb ass could be an IT guy. I can fix printers and replace peripherals. I can't troubleshoot a database. I am not an IT Professional.
TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 341d
Hey you created my job.
User privledges, only troubleshooting and robbing Peter to pay Paul with stolen peripherals
Greddan@feddit.org · 1 pts · 340d
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 341d
I kind of hate this idea of a "Chad" and how we're supposed to be this muscle bound meathead in this image
Also fuck Twitter and fuck censoring words.
Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 338d
I just lost my job if anyone from work reads this wtf nsfw