Thankfully it wasn't an active shooter NSFW

605 points · 72 comments · view on lemmy.world

72 Comments

danekrae@lemmy.world · 141 pts · 323d (4 replies)

Just put a traffic cone on it. It's apparently much worse for american children to see a model of the male anatomy, than metal detectors, armed teachers and drilling school shootings.

FenrirIII@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 323d

Puritan values at work

ronl2k@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 322d (1 reply)

Just saw off the top part of it so it's no longer seen as a dildo. No need for a lockdown.

Inaminate_Carbon_Rod@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 322d

For real.

Grab a saw from the groundskeeper, hack it off as close to the floor as possible. Put a traffic cone on the stub.

10 minutes work tops.

RubberElectrons@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 322d

Seriously 🙄

frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io · 69 pts · 323d (11 replies)

Dear God that is an expensive prank! The prices on those are insane.

notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works · 36 pts · 323d (5 replies)

There's some great bargains on Facebook Marketplace

spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 323d (2 replies)

I don't... I don't think we want youths buying those used

toynbee@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 323d

To a lesser extent, I don't think we want anyone else doing so, either.

bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 322d

*Yutes

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 323d (1 reply)

"3rd hand dildo" does not sound appealing.

IsoKiero@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 322d

But that's an awesome insult. Or a grunge band name if you lean that way.

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 322d (4 replies)

I like that you know the price of a 3-foot dildo.

Edit: I looked it up out of curiosity. It's 1,035 CAD. You wasn't kidding.

kreskin@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 322d (2 replies)

Heres a 2 footer (well, 60 cm, close) on aliexpress for $33.32 USD. (without shipping) https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256806204843239.html

So you can get 30 of these instead of a single 3 footer. Seems like a better deal to me.

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 322d

It don't got the girth though.

Mac@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 319d

A better deal only if you have 30 holes.

PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space · 4 pts · 322d

Common knowledge, really.

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 62 pts · 323d (9 replies)

That is a very expensive prank.

Edit: Also...I wonder which of those two took it home.

rolypolyman@lemmy.world · 61 pts · 323d (3 replies)

Principal Victoria says she's taking it in as evidence.

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 46 pts · 323d

Well...taking it in as far as she can.

HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 36 pts · 323d

Did she say “evidence” or “every inch”?

PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space · 3 pts · 322d

"It is imperative that the dildo remains unharmed." she told the janitor removing it.

Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 323d (4 replies)

Dildo like that is what, $200? Lube, $5-10. Cost to lock down the school for an hour, a few thousand dollars. I agree, It’s funny that they didn’t just cut off the base. Would have taken like 5 minutes, including the walk to get the scissors or knife. Someone wanted to keep that monster for themselves

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 26 pts · 323d (2 replies)

Dildo like that is what, $200?

The cheapest I found was on Amazon and it was.on sale.for $599.

parody@lemmings.world · 21 pts · 323d

Wikipedia reports this Ohio school enrolled 1837 students in the 2023 school year, making the senior class size approximately 459 students.

If every single one of them thought this would be funny, they could each chip in ~$1.31.

spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 323d

Lunch money well spent

very_well_lost@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 323d

Cost to lock down the school for an hour? Priceless

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 323d

It’s silicone or whatever material? Slice it off at the bottom and put a “wet floor” cone over the remains so people don’t trip? No need to lock down the school over a funny prank.

guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip · 33 pts · 323d (2 replies)

Jesus christ that's really funny. Also God damn that school is pathetic if they didn't think of just cutting it and putting a cone over the remnants until they could properly remove it

slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org · 14 pts · 323d (1 reply)

Americans would rather shoot everyone who's seen it than risking anyone becoming gay

fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 321d

Ah yes, the Grey Knights approach. Perfect.

shneancy@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 323d (8 replies)

lube is pretty easy to clean off with just water. i'd have used oil, so that whoever tried to remove it would have to get ready with a bucket of soapy water and then had to rub it up and down

RubberElectrons@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 322d (3 replies)

Someone hasn't tried silicone lube before..

StopSpazzing@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d (2 replies)

Silicone lube on a silicone dildo would melt it, last i heard.

shneancy@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d

it would indeed. oil wouldn't be the best for silicone long term either, but silicone lube on a silicone dildo would start melting it short term. though tbf, a yucky sticky dildo would also work as a park

RubberElectrons@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 322d

True, but a toy this size is likely TPR for cost reasons. Totally fine with silicone oils.

JaymesRS@piefed.world · 4 pts · 323d (3 replies)

Oil would be more likely to break down the silicone it’s made of and would make it have a shorter useful life.

lengau@midwest.social · 24 pts · 323d (2 replies)

What do you think the expected lifespan of this dildo post prank was?

JaymesRS@piefed.world · 14 pts · 322d

I haven’t kink shamed anybody in the past and I’m sure not starting now.

Tangent5280@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d

Depends on which staff member takes it home

bryndos@fedia.io · 15 pts · 323d

No, the school had to admit to a massive cockup.

manchicken@infosec.pub · 7 pts · 322d

I love this so much.

hOrni@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 323d (15 replies)

Why does a 3 foot dildo even exist?

sudo@lemmy.today · 19 pts · 323d

Ask your mom

ynthrepic@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 322d (1 reply)

You'd be surprised the challenges some deeply inspired creators do for views.

I was linked on an R18 sub at one point. Someone else asked (for a friend of course) and I had a look (strictly for science of course). And yeah... Even in the front end. Maybe not 3 feet (that's strictly reserved for the back end) but... Wow. Surely it isn't worth it. Maybe it feels good? The science continues.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 322d

1000002074

lengau@midwest.social · 7 pts · 323d (3 replies)

For pranks like this.

notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 322d

Sweet summer child... bless your heart.

CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 321d (1 reply)

Quite an expensive prank, that thing costs $1400...

lengau@midwest.social · 2 pts · 321d

Shows their commitment to the bit.

Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d

I came across a video a while ago... I really wish I hadnt. But, yeah, people are weird about putting things up their arse. I can only assume that later on in life, they'll be needing to wear nappies 24/7.

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 322d (3 replies)

You ever watch a movie called Zoo?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoo_(2007_film)

Psythik@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 322d (1 reply)

No... Why?

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 322d

You should, it really hits you in the gut.

hOrni@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d

No, but I watched Whangs video on Mr Hands.

thatradomguy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d

You just had to set him up. Now look what you did.

CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d

It's probably XR Brands Moby the Giant Dick. It's quite expensive and basically sold as "decoration"... I think it the actual reason it exists is, so that they can call it "world's largest dildo".

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 322d

Could you take this and not die?

hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 323d (1 reply)

Was this a cock up ?

elephantium@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d

A tremendous cock up!

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 322d

I like that idea. It is not yet on the ever-growing list if forbidden pranks.

thatradomguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d (2 replies)

Damn right it was hard. lmao

kreskin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d (1 reply)

"hard" is one thing, "very hard" is not good.

thatradomguy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d

Oh

fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 321d

I'm calling it now. An episode of South Park that does the Uvalde shooting, but instead of shooting, it's a gigantic dildo being paraded through classrooms or something. Everything played straight, but no killing, just kids hiding terrified behind tables, and a selfless teacher sacrificing herself when faced with a giant silicone dong, etc.

Mynameisallen@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 323d

No active shooter or cooter

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 322d

The cock is locked, so your education is blocked.

6stringringer@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 323d

That flooring was hard on all the students.

Haaveilija@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d

IzzyJ@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 321d

My principle threatened to hold back every single one of us if even one fid a senior prank. There was none. I transitioned since and kinda wanna find my principle on Facebook just to act like I pranked him

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 322d (1 reply)

Wait, it isn't black?

AeonFelis@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 322d

Oh my god Karen you can't just ask dildos why they aren't black