“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”
That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.
‘It smelled of onions and mustard,’ Border Patrol officer hit by sandwich in DC testifies
https://www.cnn.com/2025/11/04/politics/sandwich-thrower-case-washington
111 Comments
klemptor@startrek.website · 252 pts · 279d
I cannot believe we're wasting taxpayer dollars on a ballistic hoagie attack.
socsa@piefed.social · 172 pts · 279d
Assault with a deli weapon
klemptor@startrek.website · 50 pts · 279d
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 278d
Top-tier pun!
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 11 pts · 278d
This is so good it should be illegal.
HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 1 pts · 278d
Give the DOJ(ackoffs) a week or two and it will be.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 278d
intercontinental ballistic mayonaisse
Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 278d
...take my upvote...
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world · 81 pts · 279d
"ballistic submarine missile" was right there
klemptor@startrek.website · 9 pts · 279d
D'oh!
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 278d
torpedos away
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
ICE agents prefer Grinder
jaennaet@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 278d
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
No, every representation of human sexuality can be beautiful (with consent that is). Just wordplay with one of the multiple terms for sub, hero, blimp, torpedo and yes, grinder.
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
It's not being gay, it's being a bunch of hypocrites about being gay that deserves the ridicule
stinky@redlemmy.com · 1 pts · 262d
Hi, wanted to ask how you want me to handle this report? https://i.ibb.co/rGRqTJTt/1.png
You reported me, on my own instance, to myself... guess I'm not sure what you want me to do here? Do you think "hostility" is a violation of my instance's sidebar rules? If not, can you tell me which of my own rules I've broken? I'm eager to hear your response. :)
halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 279d
I'm sure we all know the phrase that a prosecutor could get a grand jury to "indict a ham sandwich". It took prosecutors THREE Grand Juries to finally get an indictment for someone throwing that sandwich.
It's all a complete waste of time and taxpayer funds, and in any other point in history these prosecutors would have been fired immediately for incompetence at even considering an indictment in the first place, not even considering the possibility that they would try for three attempts.
mercano@lemmy.world · 59 pts · 279d
They never got the indictment. The prosecutor had to downgrade the charges from a felony to a misdemeanor, which doesn’t have to go before a grand jury.
halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 279d
I didn't even realize that, last I had heard was them putting it before the third jury, and then that there was going to be a trial.
DipshitDetector@lemy.lol · 1 pts · 278d
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
if a grand jury won't indict, doesn't double jeopardy apply? not a lawyer, just haven't dealt with this part of the process before
austinfloyd@ttrpg.network · 3 pts · 278d
A grand jury is a sort of sanity check on a charge, and does not count towards the trial. It is basically "with these facts (provided only by the prosecution), is there enough probable cause to move a case to trial?". Double jeopardy in the 5th amendment has specific protections from going to trial multiple times or from getting multiple punishments for a crime.
gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 279d
Actually, it's even stupider than that I'm pretty sure, two grand juries refused to give them an indictment for a felony charge, so they brought a way less severe misdemeanor charge because you don't have to get a grand jury to sign off on those, and that's what we're wasting this time on
archonet@lemy.lol · 8 pts · 278d
As it so happens, they can indict ham sandwiches, but not turkey subs. And I think this is arguably funnier.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 279d
I hope a news outlet has the boldness to run this story after one showing DHS brutality, including the taxpayer costs, and before one about SNAP, healthcare and the shutdown. This administration is well past the point of pissing on Americans while telling them it's raining.
derry@midwest.social · 15 pts · 279d
Dear Lord don't you know this will lead to ICBMs! Intercontinental ballistic meatballs are nothing to be trifled with. Next they'll add mozzarella to them
0ops@piefed.zip · 13 pts · 279d
Band name
sudo@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 278d
It's just a shame it wasn't a lead sandwich traveling at 1500 fps
milkisklim@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
If it makes you feel any better, because of the shutdown, we aren't spending money on this. \s
JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca · 185 pts · 279d
I hope the people around him never let him live a minute without being reminded about what a weak little boy he is for whining about taking a soft, succulent sub to the shoulder.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 128 pts · 279d
Navy should give him a medal for surviving the first sub attack on US soil.
The Cunt for Red October.
ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 9 pts · 278d
There were 3 submarine attacks on the US in 1942.
Revan343@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 278d
Damned historical accuracy getting in the way of a decent joke
5too@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
...first this century?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 278d
those were technically hoagies
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 278d
Acshully U-Boats.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 278d
Shit. Bread October...it was right there...
Carmakazi@piefed.social · 53 pts · 279d
The injury was to the ego and authority - of the entire apparatus, not one man. They're all anxious to bring retribution and remind everyone that the enforcer class is above them and demands your cowering deference.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 279d
That's a really good point. I hope he gets a medal for injury in the line of duty with a big, televised ceremony and lots of sandwich puns.
EvilBit@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 279d
Kinda gives new meaning to the term “war hero”.
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 13 pts · 278d
Succulent...
Let go of my eggplant!
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 278d
This is delicatessen manifest!
tidderuuf@lemmy.world · 85 pts · 279d
I hope the jury are all served sub sandwiches for lunch each day of this trail.
nocturne@slrpnk.net · 54 pts · 279d
With extra onions and mustard
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 279d
A salt and buttery with a weapon for mass consumption.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 278d
Their were buying yellow cake!
Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 279d
They don't serve food to juries. If you're lucky, they give you enough to offset the parking costs.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 279d
Yeah, off topic, but it really seems like the court system has adapted over time to disincentivize the lower class from serving on juries.
FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 279d
But you can’t opt out, you legally must serve.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 278d
I was called up for jury service a few years ago. I was actually really excited to get someone off, but I wasn't even put into a pool.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 278d
True, but there are ways to get out pretty easily.
P00ptart@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
My personal favorite is "the defendant didn't show up". It's worked for me twice now.
RaoulDuke85@fedia.io · 4 pts · 278d
Just say you hate cops, which is probably true anyway.
bookmeat@lemmynsfw.com · 4 pts · 278d
In some areas you can just say you don't want to do it and that you don't think you could be fair and they'll just pass on you.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 279d
The jurors in the FTX case got pizza ordered for them when they were doing final debate.
Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 278d
Well that's not the norm
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 278d
I think they said they'd probably be able to wrap it up that night if they got dinner and the judge was like "hell yeah order up".
Manjushri@piefed.social · 65 pts · 279d
Even if it is, this is a job for jury nullification.
I see that sense is, ever so slowly, being restored.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 59 pts · 279d
Norin@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 279d
Manjushri@piefed.social · 31 pts · 279d
That sandwich did not explode. It flopped limply against his chest just as you would expect a sub from Subway to do.
bampop@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 278d
People are all ACAB but when you hear about the horrors these cops have to face, it makes you think. Could you handle the smell of onions and mustard? Would it make you hungry? What if there were no donuts in the area?
almost1337@lemmy.zip · 51 pts · 278d
New ICE patches: "Don't bread on me"
_AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 25 pts · 278d
Vandals_handle@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 278d
Tired: Cat Breading
Wired: Ice Breading
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 278d
Pulls the string on an ice agent toy: "help, officer down, we're drowning in mustard, requesting backup and my mom!"
fritobugger2017@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 278d
Video clearly shows that the sandwich was fully wrapped. Why do they need to lie?
reddifuge@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 278d
Because conservatives are fucking snowflakes.
AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 278d
Seriously, it was a fucking sandwich. Pick it up and eat it or something you miserable excuse for a person. God damn.
acetanilide@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
Yeah maybe he was trying to share his dinner. Or play foot
balllonghateisreality@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 279d
Pussy
ameancow@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 278d
mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 278d
yes, just like the man said.
toofpic@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 279d
US catches up - abot 10 years ago, a riot cop in Russia became a victim of an empty paper cup throwing. It was qualified as assault, btw.
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 5 pts · 278d
What's next, the US attacking a sovereign nation like Russia did Ukraine?
toofpic@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
You guys got Mexico and Canada!
fox2263@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
👀
Cyberflunk@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 278d
Wilco@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 278d
No. Remember that they could not get this through a grand jury. The Grand Juries are practicing Nullification for these incidents because the public is sick of Trump and ICE. They had to go with a lesser charge for it ... and this one stupid case will likely end this prosecutors career.
jacksilver@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 278d
Wilco@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 278d
Yes, a "no true bill" is where a grand jury does not have the 12 votes needed and is rare. It is said a grand jury could indict a ham sandwich. I do not know if this was a ham sandwich thrown, but there have been 8 "no true bill" votes in DC during Trumps shenanigans.
That is saying something.
TimeNaan@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 279d
/c/yestheonion
Or at least AN onion
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 279d
I relish this joke.
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 28 pts · 278d
"The bun was a bit dry and that was more than I could take!", said the frightened man in army gear.
Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de · 17 pts · 278d
PTSD - Post Thrown Sandwich Disorder
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 278d
Crusty Italian shrapnel wounds -Where is his Purple Heart?
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 278d
the horror...the horror....
bluemoon@piefed.social · 19 pts · 278d
GET OUT OF MY SWAMP, ICE
Spacehooks@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 278d
The crazy part is i read that in the right voice from the start.
bluemoon@piefed.social · 3 pts · 278d
sane of you, not cray <3
vivi@slrpnk.net · 18 pts · 279d
meanwhile, there's another, actually important trial happening that is describing horrific conditions of ice detention.
CubitOom@infosec.pub · 30 pts · 279d
I'd argue 1st Amendment rights and the weaponization of the legal system are also important.
Are you talking about this trial right?
Judge calls alleged conditions at Chicago-area immigration site ‘disgusting’
We need to stay aware of how this and similar trials unfold around the country.
vivi@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 278d
that's totally fair. i suppose i meant that this trial should not need to exist because the sandwich debacle should not be any different than someone yelling at them--a simple non violent protest.
and yes, that's the other trial I'm referring to.
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 279d
Poor little pissy pants, must be so hard to be a traitor when you smell like onions and mustard.
Fleur_@aussie.zone · 12 pts · 278d
Waste of a sandwich
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 278d
Obviously the border patrol bootlicker isn't accounting for his own scent which smells like pigshit.
SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 279d
It was a run-by sandwiching by a fleet-footed foot-long fling-er.
To be fair, the sandwich was loaded.
Lettuce, tomato, pickle, cheese, cucumber, onion, spinach, mushrooms, olives, bell peppers…
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 278d
Fuck I want that sandwich inside me!
SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 278d
There is currently no limit on the amount of times the submarine sandwich can be deployed...as a breadly weapon.
ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 279d
A lot of us dream of using a submarine to attack our enemies. This isn't exactly what I meant.
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 278d
The torpedo of truth
Tronn4@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 278d
Freedom Footlong
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 278d
McPTSD
PTSBLT
Nalivai@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
There was a similar case in Russia in 2019 when a guy threw an empty paper cup in a direction of a police line at a protest, and got arrested and was tried for it. Ultimately he was set free, 2019 was very nice time for Russia, comparatively. Will see how American justice system compares.
Wilco@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 278d
This failed as an assault at the grand jury level, so they had to bring out a weak ass lesser charge.
shalafi@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 279d
Well, it was assault. Hilarious assault is still assault. As the victim, I'd be too humiliated to press charges.
bookmeat@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 278d
If there's no harm there's no assault.
shalafi@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
We're both wrong. "Battery" is the what the charge should be. Any unwanted and "violent" touching is battery (jurisdictions vary wildly of course). "Assault" is me telling you I'm going to beat your ass. Can't believe I mixed those up. 🙄
In any case, the notion of harm is a factor, but no harm has to occur to be charged. SOURCE: Spent the weekend in jail for admitting to pushing my wife. Battery. Got off, but still, had to spend 2-days with a bunch of animals.
Never speak to the cops!
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 278d
Assault and battery mean whatever the local law defines it as. There are several us states that don't have battery charges, everything from threats to the actual violence is all under assault.
Skrufimonki@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 278d
https://legalclarity.org/assault-vs-battery-examples-of-the-legal-difference/
grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one · 6 pts · 279d
it smelt like freedom
YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 279d
Won’t you think of the laundry bill damnit!!
RedFrank24@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 278d
Aww diddums
1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 278d
im still upset he wasted a nice good panino on this scum.
Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 278d
No way, was it a BORF sandwich?
Bacon, onions, radish, and french mustard