I will stop taking sex seriously when it stops being special. If I only have 20 minutes to properly enjoy intimacy once every two weeks, it is going to be fucking magical. Joke sex is for when you're in the cuddle puddle in college, knowing there's half a dozen other hotties down bad you've got to get through before the end of the week. Once you get older, you realize sex needs to be professional. There's special outfits. There's devices. There's ritual. You read books on it. You get degrees in it.
If you’re not having fun and if you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing and looking awkward or silly, you’re with the wrong person.
Have you ever tried to cum at 40? Fun is for people with a second load in them in another thirty minutes and a three day weekend with nothing to do. Fun is for people who aren't sneaking this out while the kids are down for a nap. Sex in middle age is Seal Team Six shit. Yeah, we've done the drills. We know what to expect. But now we're in the field and we are on the clock. We get in, we do the deed, we hit the extraction point, and maybe we have time for a cigarette by morning... assuming everyone comes out alive.
You can’t possibly be naked with someone and not feel a little silly
I will hang from that sex swing and not even crack a smile.
I actually had this conversation with a girl I was with. The "how funny it would be" conversation. Then we remembered this during sex and I started "yepping" and she laughed so much we had to stop. Eventually we got back into it and there was no more "yepping" and we both seemingly forgot it. Seemingly. When I was finishing I started going "brrrriiiinnggg". I'm an idiot.
46 Comments
ummthatguy@lemmy.world · 77 pts · 315d
Aaaand a new kink is formed.
sidebro@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 315d
Delete this ☹️
toiletobserver@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 315d
Brrrrrrrrrriiiiinnng
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 315d
Well, what did they expect with talking vaginas?
axexrx@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 309d
Uh huh, uh huh uh huh...
ameancow@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 315d
owsei@programming.dev · 10 pts · 315d
Yes 100%. I love my girlfriend and that's why we hold a conversation while having sex, it's nice to talk to each other :)
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 315d
I will stop taking sex seriously when it stops being special. If I only have 20 minutes to properly enjoy intimacy once every two weeks, it is going to be fucking magical. Joke sex is for when you're in the cuddle puddle in college, knowing there's half a dozen other hotties down bad you've got to get through before the end of the week. Once you get older, you realize sex needs to be professional. There's special outfits. There's devices. There's ritual. You read books on it. You get degrees in it.
Have you ever tried to cum at 40? Fun is for people with a second load in them in another thirty minutes and a three day weekend with nothing to do. Fun is for people who aren't sneaking this out while the kids are down for a nap. Sex in middle age is Seal Team Six shit. Yeah, we've done the drills. We know what to expect. But now we're in the field and we are on the clock. We get in, we do the deed, we hit the extraction point, and maybe we have time for a cigarette by morning... assuming everyone comes out alive.
I will hang from that sex swing and not even crack a smile.
ameancow@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 315d
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 315d
Unironically a great take, thank you for contributing that! :)
RecursiveParadox@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 315d
Excellent comment.
RunAroundDesertYou@feddit.org · 33 pts · 315d
Literally a scene in Better Call Saul: https://youtu.be/T6jrPyLoAVc
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 314d
Somehow I blocked that out from my memory
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 315d
Indeed! Indeed! INDEEEED!
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 315d
I say! Simply extravagant cummies! 🧐👌
M0oP0o@mander.xyz · 14 pts · 315d
I am arriving!
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 315d
Affirmative...affirmative....
mrsemi@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 315d
stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 315d
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 315d
Ohn hon, ohn hon.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 13 pts · 315d
Repeating "Oh crap!" in a Wisconsinite's accent.
FishFace@piefed.social · 10 pts · 315d
Ope
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 315d
keep going, I'm almost there!
Cort@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 314d
Oh, Yep, Yep, yep. Oh, you betcha!
Natanox@discuss.tchncs.de · 13 pts · 315d
Is that a plushy uterus?
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 315d
They are Muppets called the Yip Yips.
relativestranger@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 315d
they were one of my favourites.
SloganLessons@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 315d
You don’t have to imagine, you can see a scene like this in Better Call Saul
drcobaltjedi@programming.dev · 7 pts · 315d
Its also so unenthusiastic.
ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 9 pts · 315d
Yeppers
Fleur_@lemmynsfw.com · 8 pts · 315d
"yessir"
"Affirmative"
"Roger"
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 315d
I bet there's some star wars 'fans' out there who've given a "roger, roger!" a time or two...
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 315d
Her: I'm gonna cum
Me:
gnutrino@programming.dev · 1 pts · 315d
"In the pipe, five by five"
Grass@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 315d
UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 315d
Diddlydee@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 315d
Or, as in Peep Show, 'Tickety boo'.
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 315d
Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 315d
Sure! Sure sure!
spirinolas@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 315d
I actually had this conversation with a girl I was with. The "how funny it would be" conversation. Then we remembered this during sex and I started "yepping" and she laughed so much we had to stop. Eventually we got back into it and there was no more "yepping" and we both seemingly forgot it. Seemingly. When I was finishing I started going "brrrriiiinnggg". I'm an idiot.
Arghblarg@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 315d
MOOOOOOOOOO
Uh huh, uh huh
NOT COW
NOT COW
Eldritch@piefed.world · 4 pts · 315d
Moonbeam city did something similar with "okay"
AlexLost@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 314d
Uh-huh!
Devjavu@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 314d
OI!
mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 315d
sure
Jyek@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 314d
This is a Dimitri Martin joke from back in the day. I miss him.
MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 315d
Yes, Capitain!
Rooster326@programming.dev · 2 pts · 315d
Luffy879@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 314d
Why am I imagining this in wades voice?
Morphite88@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 293d
Now this song is stuck in my head