I'm going to a cabaret show tonight and I wanted to get in costume. I tried to make some fake cigarettes but now I'm worried I'll these will make me look like a perverted vampire. What's the consensus team?
Do these look like fake cigarettes or used tampons?
53 Comments
Drusas@fedia.io · 181 pts · 277d
I'm guessing you've never seen a used tampon because that is not what they look like.
woop_woop@lemmy.world · 67 pts · 277d
Mmmm....I'm pretty sure one gently dabs the end of a tampon to soak up a drop of blood at a time. That's why women use so many, right?
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 277d
/NASA scientist, nodding.
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 277d
Those would be ultra super lights.. about 15 minutes of use.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 277d
True. But OP hasn't seen a burning cigarette either.
30p87@feddit.org · 7 pts · 277d
(Which is good!)
MourningDove@lemmy.zip · 18 pts · 277d
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 277d
Wrapped in toilet paper after use, kinda. Women always try to hide the good treats in paper, but my dog’s superior nose and teeth overcome such paltry obstacles to absolutely fucking destroy my rugs and sanity, and equally harm their own digestive tract.
Greg@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 277d
lol, the reason I'm asking Lemmy isn't because I haven't seen either of these things, it's to gauge how others might interpret it.
meep_launcher@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 277d
I'd say they're fine, but if you have some yellow dye it could give a more orange color that I associate with cigs.
Unless you expect yellow lighting then you are genius.
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 59 pts · 277d
Hey Greg!
Greg@lemmy.ca · 45 pts · 277d
Enhance!
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 277d
Enhance Enhance!
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 277d
this is legit my worst nightmare
mvirts@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 277d
... I don't think anyone could mistake these for used tampons.
M0oP0o@mander.xyz · 14 pts · 277d
Maybe if they think you shove tampons up your urethra.... and are of poor eyesight.
lazycouchpotato@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 277d
👀
Sanctus@anarchist.nexus · 30 pts · 277d
Definitely should have colored an orange filter and left it at that. If you wanted the extra the other end could be dipped in gray and speckled with red
fishos@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 277d
This one. When not being actively puffed, the ember disappears into the ash.
EvilBit@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 277d
Ehhhh they’ll pass but I’d have used orange.
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 277d
Mottled with gray
paraphrand@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 277d
Bluntsjoints dipped in ketchup.FreeAZ@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 277d
Blunts aren't white, joints are.
paraphrand@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 277d
Whoops!
toynbee@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 277d
There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were really quite stable
And every full moon
She would get a spoon
And drink herself under the table
pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 276d
Too different a form factor to ever think they might be tampons to me
...I don't mean to be rude but like have you seen a tampon before?
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 277d
Don't be shy. Go as a perverted vampire with real tampons and fake blood. Own it.
Beebabe@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 277d
Absolutely nothing like a used tampon.
Wren@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 277d
You're fine, used tampons look more like filleted slugs.
To make them more like cigarettes you could use a bit of cocoa or food grade activated charcoal for ash, or just burn the ends with a lighter. Bright yellow or orange sprinkles could be embers. Wrap brown paper around the other end for the filter.
To make them more like tampons, use them to skewer marshmallows, lightly roast over a flame until marshmallows melt together and turn yellowish with a few bubbles, then slather in cranberry sauce.
tamal3@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 277d
Slugs don't have red blood, or if they do it's not much
Wren@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 277d
Used tampons are supposed to be red?
tamal3@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 277d
True, but slug innards are not the color of old brown blood either. Having stepped on a lot of slugs as a child.... (too young to realize that they were critters, but old enough to be horrified by more info after the fact). Anyway, my feet weren't red with the blood of slain enemies.
My mom also used to cut them in half with a butter knife to feed frogs. Wow. I guess that was a weird childhood. Maybe my memory is faulty but I seem to remember them being kind of creamy and oozy all the way through.
FTR, I am now Friend To Slugs. Also a vegetarian. These wars are all in my past.
Wren@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 276d
I was trying to make a disgusting joke. I failed.
But I have a visceral, dreamlike memory of dissecting a sea slug while high on codeine for my intense cramps (it did nothing,) where the image of gelly-like brown flesh and rusty, marbled organs was reinforced immediately after when using the washroom.
Thank you for sharing your visceral memory, it raises a lot of questions. I'm happy you've embraced peace because slugs are neat.
Fun facts:
A few mollusks do have haemoglobin, so their haemolymph(blood-stuff) is red. The reason most mollusk blood is green/gray/blue is because they have copper while we have iron.
Slugs are all creamy because they don't have a circulatory system, they're more of a bag of fluids with some organs sloshing around inside.
Banana slugs have the highest penis volume to body-volume ratio of any animal. When they mate, they generate flesh spears to stab into each other, which serve no apparent purpose. Whoever wins the mating (gets pregnant first) gets to eat their partner's penis for nutrients, but it grows back.
Salvo@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 277d
A gold or yellow wash should salvage them.
A mottled tan “filter” at the other end will also make them more cigarette-like.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 277d
I like that these candy sticks commonly used to be sold as candy cigarettes, only for people to be outraged and so the companies changed them to generic "sticks," just for you to go and dip the tip in red (they used to do the same, add more yellow to your red) reinventing candy cigarettes.
Ceci n'est pas une cigarette.
Edit: Hey they still make them!
shalafi@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 277d
Well. Damn. I've got two of those packs in my curio cabinet, thought they were modern remakes. Nope. They clearly say "candy", "cigarette" isn't on the package and there are no red tips.
Think how hilariously awful it was that we kids used to "smoke" those things! Fuck it, eating one of my packs now.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 277d
Lol I used to love those things too.
MNByChoice@midwest.social · 7 pts · 276d
Fake cigarettes.
Apeman42@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 277d
I mean if you're worried about it you can buy a ceramic one-hitter that looks close enough to a cigarette at 20 feet from any head shop for like $5.
TehBamski@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 277d
They look like cigarettes to me.
salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 277d
I agree with others, much too red
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 277d
They need a filter and some orange in the red to look like a ciggy over a tampon. Embers aren't that red.
pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 277d
a little orange would make them more like cigarettes, just saying
Chais@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 277d
No
ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 277d
yes
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 277d
I am so confused.
If you had not dipped these in ... food coloring, for some reason...?
... they, on their own, look fairly close to well rolled rollies.
A rollie is when you are broke and addicted to cigs, so you buy rolling papers and loose tobacco, and just roll up your own little cig, no filter.
... I... guess they kind of look like some kinds of onehitters I've seen? Early, silly e-cigs that were made to look like actual cigs?
Either way, I have no idea how these could be confused with tampons, they're waay too small.
Also... cabaret? A vampire?
What do these intrinsically even have to do with cigarettes, or smoking?
... Are you stuffing them into like a 1920's style stem type cigarette holder thing?
Are you going as a suffragette? A debutante?
pedz@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 277d
I had those when I was a kid a few decades ago and they had the tip coloured in red. They were designed to look like fake cigarette, but in candy form, for kids. However because of anti tobacco movements, they renamed them to "candy sticks" and removed the red tip.
I think OP is trying to recreate the old ones.
EDIT:
moody@lemmings.world · 2 pts · 277d
You rub the end on the red packaging to make the tip red. At least that's how we did it when I was a kid, long after they stopped calling them candy cigarettes, but we knew what they were.
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 277d
Looks like red chalk wrapped in paper. I remember having those in school around the end of the previous millenium - The paper prevents your fingers from being stained.
fonix232@fedia.io · 2 pts · 277d
They look like badly rolled cigarettes that someone mistook for tampons for a moment, and tried to insert them all, but just the tip
kelpie_returns@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 277d
moody@lemmings.world · 0 pts · 277d
The red comes from rubbing one end on the red packaging.
fishos@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 277d
The bottle of red food dye, and drops of the food dye on the plate, is literally in the picture.
magic_lobster_party@fedia.io · 2 pts · 277d
Real cigarettes
JoShmoe@ani.social · 1 pts · 277d
You are a perverted vampire just let things play out.