And my premature ejaculation is the shortcoming!?

Whaddya think, fellas? Do I cut her loose?

745 points · 73 comments · view on lemmy.world

73 Comments

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 121 pts · 259d (19 replies)

It's kinda sad how many people here have commented, apparently unaware of the fact that it's a shitposting community

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 34 pts · 259d

You mean exactly two people?

Or is this comment a shitpost?

watson@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 259d (8 replies)

I think we both know why that is…

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 259d (7 replies)

People are stupid, and lemmy is mostly used by 'Muricans, who are without a doubt, the most stupid of all

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 259d (3 replies)

Hey! Whoa! That's not fair! Like 65% of us CAN read above a 6th grade level.

And in person it's easy to tell who the idiots are. They wear red hats with white text.

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 4 pts · 259d (2 replies)

Only because they aren't yet able to wear their white hoods publicly

Yet...

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 259d

So much edge.

If only the guy in OP tried to edge as much.

Johnmannesca@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d

*Anymore

No amount of hate justifies them, and anyone who dares to try will be paying civil fines for the rest of their natural life.

UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 258d (2 replies)

I premature ejaculate daily.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d (1 reply)

There are meetings for that. No special dress code, you can just come in whatever you're wearing.

UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d

Hmmm, I put things into the meetings?

Droggelbecher@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 259d (6 replies)

People keep saying this exact shit like 'shitpost' is synonymous with 'anything goes and shall not be criticised'

Edit: guys stop criticizing this comment this is a shitpost community

FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com · 12 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Not at all

Plenty of the posts here are absolutely rubbish. They're not shitposting at all. They're people posting on a popular community for fake internet points

This post was a good, genuine shitpost, yet people replied as though OP is bad in bed and unaware of it

Either they too are looking for imaginary internet points, or they're stupid

I suspect a bit of both

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 259d

someone's cranky, not getting enough fisting huh? hang in there guy, it'll get better.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 11 pts · 259d (1 reply)

A shitpost is low-effort troll material meant to derail a topic. Almost anything can be a shitpost, depending on the context. It is a little ironic that a community specifically for shitposting would actually not be shitposting by posting shitposts, since shitposts are the topic. So obviously the real shitposts are the comments shittalking the post and derailing the topic.

sukhmel@programming.dev · 1 pts · 258d

So obviously the real shitposts are the comments shittalking the post and derailing the topic.

But then those comments belong here, being shitposts in shitposting community

floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 259d

In a sense, yeah. Not that they shouldn't be criticised, but that they shouldn't be taken seriously. Just read every post and comment as if it has a /s at the end and you'll have a more enjoyable time

dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 259d

i mean, ragebait is shitposting

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 259d

Welcome to lemmy!

vrek@programming.dev · 2 pts · 259d

Well if that's what you want it's in the wrong hole

Sh0eb0x@sh.itjust.works · 104 pts · 259d (4 replies)

LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 258d

*whose

minorkeys@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 258d

Why is her orgasm his responsibility but his orgasm is also his responsibility?

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Do you mean Joe Biden?

kinther@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 259d

Thanks, Trumpbama

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 87 pts · 259d (3 replies)

Missed opportunity to talk about your "shortcuming"

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 259d (2 replies)

That was the pun! I prefer subtlety.

krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 259d

I prefer shumming

Realspecialguy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

The big brows didn't get it

IntriguedIceberg@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 259d (6 replies)

Mickey7 vibes.

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 259d (5 replies)

Literally just started seeing this guy pop up lately. What’s the deal with that account?

TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 258d

1000012550

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 9 pts · 259d (3 replies)

He's a shitposter.

cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 259d (2 replies)

The funny kind or the “it’s just a joke” kind?

Broadfern@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 259d (1 reply)

The boomer humor kind

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 258d

I love how angry boomer humor makes people. It makes it so funny to me.

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 259d (3 replies)

Is that an attempt to censor or did you just cum on the meme?

LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 258d

I thought Kirsten & Tobey were wearing diamond strands. You're right. Poor attempt at cum censoring.

xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 258d

Why though? Cum is not a swear

Lawnmaster9000@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 258d

Yes

mechoman444@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 258d (3 replies)

Gentlemen. If you are climaxing prior to your partner that doesn't mean you're done.

yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 258d

No, it's a race and the winner takes all.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 258d

But I literally just finished? And she seems weirdly pissed? And I'm sleepy. Women: you just can't please 'em!

anzo@programming.dev · 1 pts · 258d

It's like if you went to a restaurant without ordering any dessert. Fine. Next time, you can also cook at home. "Enjoy yourself".

PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 259d

I'm something of an expert. You'd know nothing about it

Scubus@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 259d

Cringe censoring is cringe

SolacefromSilence@fedia.io · -17 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Dude's batting 0/2 and trying to shift blame... sounds like he doesn't have much of a personality either.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 259d

I mean, have you SEEN Spiderman 3? You're not wrong!

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · -21 pts · 259d (24 replies)

Maybe learn foreplay, and how to generally fuck.

Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 76 pts · 259d (5 replies)

Or how to enjoy humor

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 259d (1 reply)

This is why he hates your propriatary blend of internet....

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 259d

Nailed it

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 259d (2 replies)

Oh was I not joking well enough? Oops!

Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 259d (1 reply)

This is the internet. No one can detect your humor without the appropriate emoji

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

I refuse to conform to these impossible standards.

cRazi_man@europe.pub · 31 pts · 259d (14 replies)
REDACTED@infosec.pub · 22 pts · 259d (6 replies)

I'm so good at sex that at this point I cum whenever a woman touches me

uranibaba@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 259d
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 259d (3 replies)

I can do it just by touching myself.

REDACTED@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 259d (2 replies)

I can also do it while asleep by just seeing a woman in my dreams. I've decided to call this superpower "wet dreams"

Kaput@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d

I used to be a wet dreamer like you, but then I took few decades to the knee.

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 258d

I know a secret trick that will prevent that from happening.

The lotion agenda hates this.

TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

I like to let it build. That way I disappoint them even more.

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 259d (2 replies)

Speedrunning that shit.

You put the BJ in BLJ.

DmMacniel@feddit.org · 3 pts · 259d (1 reply)

Yahoooooo!

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 259d

Yayayayayayayayayayahoooo!

SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 259d

do you use glitches?

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d

Then there's no need to cut her loose. As long as op only wants his then he's good to go. Until she finds orgasms elsewhere I suppose.

Frozengyro@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 259d (1 reply)

It was good for me, was it good for y... Nevermind I don't care

Crazazy@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 259d

Time for me to turn into Rene Descartes

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 258d (1 reply)

If I didn't know how to fuck, why was I the only one who managed to cum? I was the only one who knew wtf I was doing.

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d

Then why you asking? Cut her loose. Better yet just jerk off. Way cheaper.

Kaput@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d

Well dépends, sometimes promising ''it'll be quick, won't feel a thing'', seals the deal.