It's not exactly that I wish to harm any of them. It's just that they all believe in strong individualism and I'd hate to help them when they have made it very clear that needing help is weakness in their religion. I'm sure they'd feel much better burning than receiving help from anyone.
If they see me saving the plant and myself, I think the only real fight to stop me would be with Elon. Trump is too old to chase after me. Vance is too busy fucking a couch. Elon, he has some body flabs, but I would not underestimate him.
How the shit would someone carry out the heaviest president in the history of the United States? If any of these boxes contained a boulder 40 feet wide and tall, I’d have the same question without even wondering how or why the boulder would need to be rescued.
I'd grab the plant ...then beat the nearest one of those 'people' over the head with it for as long as I could, then lock the door behind me and wait outside of it until I'm sure no one can get away from the fire.
Look, if that plant hadn't approved of what those three were doing, it would have left the room long ago. By staying until the room was in fire, the plant showed it's true colors. That is a fascist plant, and I'm not saving it.
OHFU---!!! I'm grabbing that plant! That's a nice plant! Look at it, not a waste of oxygen and actually helping the world out...
(Side note: I have a cactus and I would absolutely choose that cactus over my personal safety in case of fire. My cactus also has its own cactus, so I must save that too. It basically goes like this: husband > laptop > cactus > cactus' cactus.)
39 Comments
ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 67 pts · 272d
I’m not depriving that fire of any combustible material. Sorry, plant.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 272d
Here, take my gasoline!
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 6 pts · 271d
The spider plant is indestructible and may put the fire out.
Quickly extricate the plant and you will ensure it can’t fuck the fire up, and it provides an opportunity for your car to leave you piles of puke
Darkaga@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 272d
Spider plant.
Spider plant.
Does everything a spider can't.
When it sits.
In the sun.
Photosynthesis just for fun.
Look out!
Look out for spider plan.
HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 272d
Not even grabbing the plant. I'd punch musk in the face & gtfo.
Senseless@feddit.org · 18 pts · 272d
This dude has priorities and I respect that.
wheezy@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 272d
Good choice. Vance has no charisma to lead the right and Trump will be dead in 5 years. The billionaire Nazi is a good choice.
HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 271d
Plus musk doesn't have secret service to block him. Only his dumb face.
Resplendent606@piefed.social · 37 pts · 272d
At least the plant does some good in the world.
SerpentPeaked@lemmynsfw.com · 23 pts · 272d
I’m not taking any chances, nothing is leaving that room. Your sacrifice will be honored, spider plant.
notsure@fedia.io · 21 pts · 272d
....spider plant, spider plant...
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 272d
Does whatever a spider plant does
notsure@fedia.io · 10 pts · 272d
...shoots its children off a shelf, more reliable than an Elf-on-the-Shelf...
wheezy@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 272d
Lookout! Here comes the Epstein files!
FahrenheitGhost@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 271d
That is going to be the most saved plant in the history of plants.
dumbass@piefed.social · 15 pts · 272d
I know the rooms engulfed in flames, I'm the one who set it on fire!
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 271d
Good work. You taking the plant or nah?
dumbass@piefed.social · 2 pts · 271d
That plants a violent war criminal, it can die with the rest.
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 271d
Understandable.
fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk · 13 pts · 272d
It's probably worth tipping the plant out of the pot, and checking nobody's hidden the Epstein files in the soil.
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 271d
Yeah, just do it once you are out of the room with it.
psivchaz@reddthat.com · 8 pts · 271d
It's not exactly that I wish to harm any of them. It's just that they all believe in strong individualism and I'd hate to help them when they have made it very clear that needing help is weakness in their religion. I'm sure they'd feel much better burning than receiving help from anyone.
theneverfox@pawb.social · 6 pts · 272d
It's so hard to decide...I mean that flag would have a lot of collector value, but the plant is alive
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 272d
I grab the plant and blockade the door
Railcar8095@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 272d
Sorry plant, I was going to save you but I saw a folder called "underacted Epstein files". Surely you understand
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 271d
If they see me saving the plant and myself, I think the only real fight to stop me would be with Elon. Trump is too old to chase after me. Vance is too busy fucking a couch. Elon, he has some body flabs, but I would not underestimate him.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 272d
How the shit would someone carry out the heaviest president in the history of the United States? If any of these boxes contained a boulder 40 feet wide and tall, I’d have the same question without even wondering how or why the boulder would need to be rescued.
Anyway, snake plant
grue@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 272d
Trump is heavier than Taft?
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 271d
He says hes 220 pounds, whatever that means, but I don’t believe it. Until he offers his actual weight, he’s the heaviest president in us history
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 271d
Did the plant sieg hiel or something?
Doomsider@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 272d
Corrupt politicians are a dime a dozen. Healthy spider plants in the office on the other hand are pretty rare.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 271d
I have a spider plant that was supposedly propogated from a spider plant that that belonged to an Aunt-in-law that was given to her by JFK Jr.
Kind of a running joke in the family but a lot of us have descendants and call them all "JFK Jr."
So, I'm saving John-John. Sorry not sorry, don't lose your head.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 271d
The real question is which one do I beat to death with the pot, before running out?
HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 271d
One that is under 60 years of age.
stringere@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 271d
Save the only one with feelings.
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 271d
I'd grab the plant ...then beat the nearest one of those 'people' over the head with it for as long as I could, then lock the door behind me and wait outside of it until I'm sure no one can get away from the fire.
Nounka@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 271d
I want to save one... And kick it in the nuts. A lot off times. Maybe trow him back after
BranBucket@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 271d
Look, if that plant hadn't approved of what those three were doing, it would have left the room long ago. By staying until the room was in fire, the plant showed it's true colors. That is a fascist plant, and I'm not saving it.
switcheroo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 271d
OHFU---!!! I'm grabbing that plant! That's a nice plant! Look at it, not a waste of oxygen and actually helping the world out...
(Side note: I have a cactus and I would absolutely choose that cactus over my personal safety in case of fire. My cactus also has its own cactus, so I must save that too. It basically goes like this: husband > laptop > cactus > cactus' cactus.)
fossilesque@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 271d