Look man this entire sprint was only six days long and we had enough shit already planned, take your scope creep and shove it. Saliva works if you're dedicated enough and you're smart enough to invent Astroglide. Ship it
Ahem.. are we assuming something?! Think about it.. if God made us in their image, God is a hermaphrodite with a split personality disorder. Thus males and females. This is basic stuff.
I have a friend who is a vicar, and she tends to use They/Them for God, which I find interesting.
I also met a few people who use different pronouns for the Holy Trinity. She/Her tends to be either the Holy Spirit or the Father (the Father being She/Her seemed odd to me, but this person felt quite strongly that the Holy Spirit was They/Them, and that Jesus was He/Him).
They/Them tends to be used for either the Holy Spirit or Jesus (Jesus says "I am He" at one point, and the argument here is that this isn't Jesus saying his pronouns are He/Him, but rather that "He" refers to the entity who made Jesus — I.e. God).
He/Him tends to be used for Jesus or the Father.
Even amongst people who don't use pronouns other than He/Him for the Christian God or one of God's aspects, I've heard quite a few people argue that He/Him != he/him (and that They/Them != they/them etc.) and thus God uses neopronouns.
I always tend to use 'they' when the gender is unknown. I read it somewhere long ago and thought.. wait.. why is this plural? And learned it is a gender neutral pronoun. I refer to everyone I don't know as 'they' now. God is more of an 'it' in my mind, but that's beside the point.
It was a group project between the pantheons of old, Odin thought it was funny and Zeus was being dick. Everyone else was kinda okay with their suggestions though.
Or, say "hey how are your nipples" and when he says "what" you reply "what" too, to play with his mind. Then he will question wether the first nipple conversation even happened
I can get behind full-on nipple torturing someone’s dad. Constantly mispronounce words- refer to nickels as nipples as you pay for small items. Talking about your city should involve at least occasionally saying something to the effect of “I’m a big fan of this areola, but that one’s been sucked dry by greedy housing developers.”
Maybe cut the nipples out of your shirts. Definitely cut the nipples out of his shirts. Ask him whether he’s cold, glance down, and then adjust the thermostat without waiting to hear his answer.
Change your lock screen photo to a cropped version of this. Replace your light fixtures with boob lights and ask him to help tighten the nipples. “Just give them a twist, I’m begging you.” Serve him Vietnamese milk melons daily. In fact, every meal or snack has to involve dairy or dairy alternative milks.
Yeah, I think I could get this guy’s dad to cry within 2 days. 3 if he’s vegan.
I know someone who this actually happened to! They're a vet and some woman came in saying her male cat had bugs stuck to him. When told they were nipples this woman literally said the same thing. 🤦♂️
Yeah, I always hate when people ask why men have nipples.
Its so you can fucking breast feed, Greg! Just cause you aren't doesnt make them useless, your body wanted the option, your shame about not taking advantage of that has nothing on biology.
My mind was blown by this tidbit... TIL. Newborn babies of both sexes can occasionally produce milk. This is called neonatal milk (also as "witch's milk") and not considered male lactation.
That was my take-home open-book exam from a somewhat eccentric developmental biology professor back when I was in college. I remember that the answer is no (although they still have mammary tissue and can get breast cancer) but not why.
Apparently male horses also do not have nipples. I learned that just now when I was searching for "male mice nipples". TIL. I hope no one ever finds my search history.
Or, or, the male horses with nipples spent too much time poking their own nipples with their penis for sexual stimulation and it means they removed themselves from the gene pool.
This means male horses selected for less and less prominent nipples until they became completely flat chested.
46 Comments
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world · 112 pts · 176d
I've got nipples, Greg, can you milk me?
neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 175d
I'M OLD GREG
ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 175d
The British Bakeoff show is forever weird for me.
PieMePlenty@lemmy.world · 111 pts · 176d
In case anyone was wondering: they're there in case you change your mind later on and want to transition. God left them there as a backup.
hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 42 pts · 175d
That was awfully nice of him, but then why does he always he sew up the vagina too? Kind of a dick move.
BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 175d
He assumed giving good access to the prostate as a pleasure center in the ass was close enough and called it a day
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org · 4 pts · 175d
Why not make it self lubricating though??
skulblaka@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 174d
Look man this entire sprint was only six days long and we had enough shit already planned, take your scope creep and shove it. Saliva works if you're dedicated enough and you're smart enough to invent Astroglide. Ship it
flippinfreebird@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 174d
Spit and foreskin is all you really need
PieMePlenty@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 175d
Ahem.. are we assuming something?! Think about it.. if God made us in their image, God is a hermaphrodite with a split personality disorder. Thus males and females. This is basic stuff.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 175d
I have a friend who is a vicar, and she tends to use They/Them for God, which I find interesting.
I also met a few people who use different pronouns for the Holy Trinity. She/Her tends to be either the Holy Spirit or the Father (the Father being She/Her seemed odd to me, but this person felt quite strongly that the Holy Spirit was They/Them, and that Jesus was He/Him).
They/Them tends to be used for either the Holy Spirit or Jesus (Jesus says "I am He" at one point, and the argument here is that this isn't Jesus saying his pronouns are He/Him, but rather that "He" refers to the entity who made Jesus — I.e. God).
He/Him tends to be used for Jesus or the Father.
Even amongst people who don't use pronouns other than He/Him for the Christian God or one of God's aspects, I've heard quite a few people argue that He/Him != he/him (and that They/Them != they/them etc.) and thus God uses neopronouns.
PieMePlenty@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 175d
I always tend to use 'they' when the gender is unknown. I read it somewhere long ago and thought.. wait.. why is this plural? And learned it is a gender neutral pronoun. I refer to everyone I don't know as 'they' now. God is more of an 'it' in my mind, but that's beside the point.
hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 175d
Could they just leave everything on there then? That would make things SO much easier.
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 174d
https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=Scalpel
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 174d
It was a group project between the pantheons of old, Odin thought it was funny and Zeus was being dick. Everyone else was kinda okay with their suggestions though.
Sunsofold@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 174d
Heheh
xkbx@startrek.website · 87 pts · 176d
talk to him about non-nippulous topics, like football, or canned beer (do NOT mention draft)
certified_expert@lemmy.world · 59 pts · 176d
Or, say "hey how are your nipples" and when he says "what" you reply "what" too, to play with his mind. Then he will question wether the first nipple conversation even happened
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 42 pts · 176d
I can get behind full-on nipple torturing someone’s dad. Constantly mispronounce words- refer to nickels as nipples as you pay for small items. Talking about your city should involve at least occasionally saying something to the effect of “I’m a big fan of this areola, but that one’s been sucked dry by greedy housing developers.”
Maybe cut the nipples out of your shirts. Definitely cut the nipples out of his shirts. Ask him whether he’s cold, glance down, and then adjust the thermostat without waiting to hear his answer.
Change your lock screen photo to a cropped version of this. Replace your light fixtures with boob lights and ask him to help tighten the nipples. “Just give them a twist, I’m begging you.” Serve him Vietnamese milk melons daily. In fact, every meal or snack has to involve dairy or dairy alternative milks.
Yeah, I think I could get this guy’s dad to cry within 2 days. 3 if he’s vegan.
certified_expert@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 176d
Damn! That's far beyond what I was proposing... this took a dark turn... dark and pointy turn
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 176d
Jesus Christ! Go back to waterboarding people in Gitmo, you don't belong in polite society!
Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk · 6 pts · 175d
Are you some sort of torture mastermind? Holy fuck 😂 even accounting for potential difficulties.
Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 176d
Dastardly
KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 175d
It’s a little nipply outside. What? I said it’s nippy outside.
Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 176d
Football balls have nipples though.
It is where you blow them up with.
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 175d
I've been using dynamite all wrong. It's no wonder I was kicked off the team.
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 174d
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
ironeagl@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 174d
What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?
moseschrute@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 174d
Help. What if I already mentioned draft
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 173d
Well now he's going to rant about Vietnam
Sylence@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 46 pts · 175d
Paradachshund@lemmy.today · 45 pts · 176d
I know someone who this actually happened to! They're a vet and some woman came in saying her male cat had bugs stuck to him. When told they were nipples this woman literally said the same thing. 🤦♂️
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 39 pts · 175d
Anon, both you and your dad are probably autistic.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 175d
Men can lactate, just in case you were wondering:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_lactation
Krauerking@lemy.lol · 13 pts · 175d
Yeah, I always hate when people ask why men have nipples.
Its so you can fucking breast feed, Greg! Just cause you aren't doesnt make them useless, your body wanted the option, your shame about not taking advantage of that has nothing on biology.
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 175d
::: spoiler 14,810 results https://archiveofourown.org/works/search?work_search%5Bquery%5D=Male+lactation :::
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 175d
Confirmed, there are many more people who want it than have it.
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 174d
I was expecting a number in the low thousands. 8-10 thousand tops.
I severely misunderstood the internet xd
Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 174d
My mind was blown by this tidbit... TIL. Newborn babies of both sexes can occasionally produce milk. This is called neonatal milk (also as "witch's milk") and not considered male lactation.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 175d
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 174d
So in theory, someone could actually milk me?
ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works · 23 pts · 176d
Do male mice have nipples? Why?
That was my take-home open-book exam from a somewhat eccentric developmental biology professor back when I was in college. I remember that the answer is no (although they still have mammary tissue and can get breast cancer) but not why.
ramenshaman@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 176d
Apparently male horses also do not have nipples. I learned that just now when I was searching for "male mice nipples". TIL. I hope no one ever finds my search history.
SGforce@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 176d
They would probably rub on the ground
FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 176d
Or, or, the male horses with nipples spent too much time poking their own nipples with their penis for sexual stimulation and it means they removed themselves from the gene pool.
This means male horses selected for less and less prominent nipples until they became completely flat chested.
Peppycito@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 176d
I like the way you think.