You after wiping your ass for the 27th time and still see shit

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_tct17jlkkV1alvbds_720.mp4

185 points · 70 comments · view on lemmy.world

70 Comments

remon@ani.social · 51 pts · 169d

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 40 pts · 169d (17 replies)

Install a bidet. They're 20 bucks, it's a spray nozzle on a hose, they're awesome. Saw them on holiday in Cambodia everywhere, installed one when I got home, have zero regrets.

FBJimmy@lemmus.org · 9 pts · 169d (8 replies)

Sure, BUT, don't just connect it to the cold water supply - they need proper isolation - I've heard of cases where households have gotten really sick and they found that bacteria from the bum gun had made it back to the drinking water.

surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 169d (2 replies)

What? How would that even work? The nozzle gets dirty and the bacteria propagate three feet up the tube against occasional water flow and into the main pipe?

FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 169d

I'd imagine something like a guest bathroom that is rarely used so the bacteria have time to multiply and diffuse up the water pipe. Or develop a biofilm on the pipe walls that isn't removed by running water (to see this effect leave a dish of water out for a few days so it feels slimy then try to rinse it with water)

I don't think this is likely at all, but I could understand how it could come about in some niche situations.

Wander@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 168d

You can have pressure loss in the while system and it can suck water up it and contaminate a lot of fresh water.

CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 169d

Backflow preventers are a thing. I’d never considered it for a bidet but it makes sense.

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 169d (1 reply)

You're not supposed to use them as a douche. You should spray it against your anus, not insert it.

Honestly, I don't know how that would work. When I spray, the nozzle doesn't get wet from ricochet. My hand, button and nozzle stay dry except for the tiny holes where the water comes out.

JGrffn@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 169d

Douching master race. Moved and my bidet no longer has the necessary pressure for douching and I'm back to being the guy from OP's meme. Don't know about inserting anything anywhere tho, the right amount of water pressure, maybe with the right angles, and you're good to go.

Even then, I see no way for water to go back up the bidet line and contaminate stuff elsewhere. Its like expecting faucets to contaminate things upstream when you wash your hands, it kinda makes no sense, at least to me.

Wander@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 168d

So many people from the third world do that here. Our right illegal for being unsanitary but they don't care.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 168d

How? Like, proper sanitation ought to take care of that.

SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club · 4 pts · 169d (2 replies)

It's tough kid, but it's life? Don't forget to pack a wife?

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 169d (1 reply)

Downvoters don't get the reference

SwifferWetjet@thelemmy.club · 5 pts · 169d

I get called unc on the regular for exactly this kinda shit I swear😭

vivalapivo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 168d (4 replies)

Bidet is cool, but how do you dry your ass? Also, what to do when you miss and a stream of water takes shit away off your asshole to other places like clothes and other parts of your body

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 168d (2 replies)

how do you dry your ass?

2 sheets of toilet paper.

what to do when you miss

It's hard to miss

to other places like clothes and other parts of your body

It doesn't, it's still in the bowl.

It's easier than it might seem.

vivalapivo@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 168d (1 reply)

2 sheets of toilet paper.

Too little.

It's hard to miss

Yes, but it happens

It doesn't, it's still in the bowl.

It does

It's easier than it might seem.

I've been using this for a while, but then I realized that it wasn't convenient for me and I stopped pooping altogether

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 168d

Too little.

Not for me. But feel free to use more. I have 6 layered toiletpapier.

Yes, but it happens

Never happened to me.

I've been using this for a while, but then I realized that it wasn't convenient for me and I stopped pooping altogether

Are you Kim Yong Un? Because he works so hard, he burns everything so he never has to poop either.

uenticx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 168d

We have a bidet and I still just reach over and soak TP a few times instead, just feels more thorough.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 169d

Wiping more just turns the paper red instead of brown

squirrel@piefed.zip · 19 pts · 169d (21 replies)

Stop wiping and use a portable bidet. You'll never go back to wiping.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 28 pts · 169d (2 replies)

Portable bidet

Wander@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 168d (1 reply)

Seen a guy in work filling up his arse bottle in the sink all the time. Was fucking disgusting.

mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 167d

well you can hardly expect them to fill it up with gross toilet water, can you?

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 169d (17 replies)

Okay we have a bidet at home but even when I use it I still need to wipe after. Is it supposed to pressure wash your ass or what exactly am I supposeed to do when using it.

squirrel@piefed.zip · 14 pts · 169d (10 replies)

Is it supposed to pressure wash your ass

Yes. I only use toilet paper afterwards to dry everything.

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 169d (9 replies)

I tried that but it just does not clean that well it seems. The toilet paper gets dirty

CannonFodder@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 169d (2 replies)

You maybe have a shitty bidet, or its settings need to be adjusted .
Also there's a bit of technique - you gotta move around a bit; work the spray around to get everything.

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 169d (1 reply)

It's a standalone one

Cataphract@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 169d

scytale@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 169d (1 reply)

Use your hands and wash with soap. Then use toilet paper to pat dry afterwards. That’s what I do and you can’t get any cleaner than that.

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 169d

I only do that in severe cases

Kaput@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 166d (3 replies)

Try Adding a light abrasive to the Water. You can find bulk sillica at your local bodyshop.

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 166d (2 replies)

How would that work? I cannot just open it up and put it inside the plumbing

Kaput@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 166d (1 reply)

Well you could add a T fitting on your Water source and weld a large venturi effectue Hopper to it, filled with the abrasive. However i think your best course of action is not to see if you can do it but ask yourself if you should.

Wet blasting : https://m.youtube.com/shorts/0y-aE5QoF9E

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 166d

I already know the answer to be I should not

CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 169d (1 reply)

You're just not supposed to doomscroll on the toilet until everything is dried and has to be scraped off.

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 169d

I don't usually spend more than 5 minjtes shitting so.....

surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 169d (3 replies)

pressure wash your ass

Yes. It shouldn't take that much pressure.

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 169d (2 replies)

But it does not clean that well.

surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 169d (1 reply)

Maybe you have low water pressure? It should feel like a tiny hose.

FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 169d

Yeah, low water pressure would be my guess.

Water can cut through steel plate at high enough pressure. It can certainly remove poop from a butt with enough pressure.

Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 169d (3 replies)

Get yourself a proper heated bidet and you’ll never go back. I bought a Toto it warms the seat, automatically shoots soothing warm water at your angry brown eye and then blow dry’s your bum.

Best purchase ever!

HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 8 pts · 169d (1 reply)

Recently went to Japan for work and my hotel had one of these so I got to try it out.

It's my belief that you haven't experienced the best life has to offer until you've had your butthole powerwashed. It was a trancsendental experience for me.

EldenLord@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 169d

Seconded.

Once you splash yo crack, you’ll never go back.

hateisreality@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 169d

Hell a cold water bidet will change your life too

48954246@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 169d

Eat more fibre

SimoCo10@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 169d (4 replies)

And thinking about the amount of paper used, praying that is not going to be clogged

snooggums@piefed.world · 6 pts · 169d (3 replies)

Flush every few wipes to reduce the chance.

Garbagio@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 169d (2 replies)

Sometimes I'm on my phone while wiping a streaky one and lose track of the amount of paper used.

MrKoyun@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 167d

Dude... Just get a bidet.

snooggums@piefed.world · 1 pts · 169d

Flush early, flush often.

wabafee@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 168d (1 reply)

Clearly you need poop knife, you gotta shove it in there like how you clean up a empty peanut butter jar.

ExtremeUnicorn@feddit.org · 3 pts · 167d

That’s no way to use a poop knife...

the_artic_one@piefed.social · 6 pts · 169d

Bidets are cool but y'all need to eat more fiber.

remilia@lemmy.cyberia9.org · 5 pts · 169d (2 replies)

laughs in bidet

Kaput@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 166d (1 reply)

Starts to feel like bidet is the linux of butt Cleaning which one is the Arch of bidets?

remilia@lemmy.cyberia9.org · 1 pts · 166d

No idea, I'm a Slackware user XD

criss_cross@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 169d (4 replies)

Is that the dude that played professor X in the newer X-men movies?

skoell13@feddit.org · 3 pts · 167d (1 reply)

The mivie is called Filth iirc

FenrirIII@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 167d

It's a fun movie

peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 169d

Yep

stepan@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 167d

Yes!

Arachnidbrilliant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 167d

Back in Covid when everyone was filling their house with toilet paper, I bought up a bidet for every Bathroom in the house. It’s the doomsday bidet

cute_noker@feddit.dk · 2 pts · 167d

Real shit posting

inflatablerobot@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 167d (1 reply)

Lack of fiber in your diet. Take a spoon full of psyllium husk in some water before bed. You will also decrease your risk of colon cancer. A bidet is wonderful but does not address the root of the issue.

notastatist@feddit.org · 1 pts · 165d

This is the most right answer. I dont have to wipe mor that 2 times most because of the fiber.

And often those times are just to make sure there is nothing

ScrollerBall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 169d
plant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 169d

You get what you deserve

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 169d

constipation perhaps.