When you've already had the best

752 points · 68 comments · view on lemmy.world

68 Comments

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 91 pts · 121d (10 replies)

The chances of a tourist being killed by an Italian chef are low… but never zero!

cynar@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 121d

The chances of a "missing" tourist's body being found are also low, but not zero!

binarytobis@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 120d (2 replies)

I miss the “but never zero” memes. Maybe I’ll start flooding lemmy with them personally.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 120d (1 reply)

Please make at least 35% of them horny, to relieve some of the pressure on Violet.

msage@programming.dev · 4 pts · 120d

Chance of them being horny is very low.

.

.

.

But never zero.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 121d (2 replies)

I'm only even ~1/4 Italian by ancenstry, and I would have it out for somebody who did this at a proper Italian restaurant in the US.

Unacceptable chuckle-fuck behavior.

RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 120d (1 reply)

I mean, it's not, though. It is no Olive Garden. Thankfully.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 120d

...

The comparison, either positive, or negative, is insulting.

At least go with Bucca di Beppo or something like that, if you want to make a comparison.

Olive Garden is fucking microwaved slop.

naeap@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 120d

Have you ever been in Italy?
They take their food seriously...

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 120d

So like one of my favorite Chinese restaurants you would go to because the owner would always be going on an angry drunken rant. The food is good but the floor show is better

forrgott@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 121d

According to Borderlands 3, the life of a celebrity chef is mostly revenge killings.

Edit: Just saying find us a celebrity Italian chef... 😎

IcedRaktajino@startrek.website · 42 pts · 121d (3 replies)

I've been watching The Golden Girls and would imagine saying that would immediately earn you a Sicilian vendetta or at least Sophia putting a curse on you.

nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 121d (1 reply)

Your post from a few days ago put a bug in my head and now I'm rewatching GG too, thanks for that. Ironically, loudly comparing every restaurant in Italy to Olive Garden is a hell of a Sophia style troll move.

IcedRaktajino@startrek.website · 5 pts · 121d

loudly comparing every restaurant in Italy to Olive Garden is a hell of a Sophia style troll move.

It so is 😂

Mulligrubs@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 120d

"lalaw" will never leave my brain

sigezayaq@startrek.website · 36 pts · 121d (4 replies)

nobody would react, because nobody knows what olive garden is in Europe

FundMECFS@piefed.zip · 6 pts · 120d

exactly ahah

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 120d

"No, this is a restaurant. And they are usually called olive orchards, not gardens. If you'd like to see one after your meal, I can give you directions to one nearby."

Tja@programming.dev · 1 pts · 120d (1 reply)

On top of that, I don't think the average Italian would get the implication that "olive garden is better" from that phrase. They would understand it literally: this is not olive garden, this is Don Pasquale.

fushuan@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 120d

Yeah, even if I understood I initially interpreted it as omitting the "this I the real thing!" afterwards.

WanderingThoughts@europe.pub · 31 pts · 121d (13 replies)

Americans in general are already shocked about the lack of chain restaurants and large quantity of little shops. It seems to be a bit of a culture shock. One was complaining his kid could not eat anything familiar here.

Tourist guides were also saying that most Americans absolutely refuse to leave the cruise ship if there is no bus waiting. So they get info the bus, the bus drives 400 meter (quarter mile) to the destination and ask them to do disembark. They'll always say " I could've walked!" while the guide internally screams at them they told them so.

jmill@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 120d (1 reply)

I'm sure lots of them just can't fully internalize the fact that there are places worth going to that are close and safe to walk to. Outside of downtown areas in mid size American cities, going somewhere on foot could take hours and involve crossing streets not friendly (or sometimes illegal) to foot traffic. That sucks, and a lifetime of living that reality is hard for some people to move past.

johnyreeferseed@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 120d

I have a perfect example of this. Last week I needed to take my car to the mechanic. Look it up and it's only a 7 minute drive so I think to myself "I'll just drop it off and walk home! It's only a 7 minute drive away." Look up how long it would take to walk - 1 hour 5 minutes...

AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 121d (7 replies)

Armericans walking 400 metres?

scutiger@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 120d (2 replies)

They don't know what 400 meters is. May as well be a million miles. They can't take that chance!

AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 120d (1 reply)

It could be a learning experience? (Do they have those?)

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 120d

They do but not without gunshot risk.

WanderingThoughts@europe.pub · 5 pts · 121d (2 replies)

Some take longer walks when crossing their McMansion to get to the fridge. /s

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 10 pts · 121d (1 reply)

DoorDash has a service now where the dasher will bring you stuff from your fridge to save unnecessary trips like that.

WanderingThoughts@europe.pub · 3 pts · 121d

Research is ongoing to automate this process..

Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 120d

What's that in dachshunds?

titanicx@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 120d

You know the opposite can be said about people from Europe visiting America for the first time too. I remember years ago when I was in high school working at a gas station and a small town in Nevada. We had some Europeans show up in the middle of the night asking how far it was to San Francisco I told them it was another 12 hours from where we are currently at to be able to make it to San Francisco. They were absolutely aghast at the size and the distance because they had already driven from salt lake City where they had flown into. It took them hours to get to the town I was at and they could not believe it was another day's driving to get to San Francisco. They looked at a map and they thought to themselves it's only a little bit it'll only take us a few hours to make it there. They thought they were going to be able to drive from salt lake City to San Francisco in just a few hours so they could check out the Golden gate bridge before driving back and catching their next flight. And they were far from the first people that I had met that made similar mistakes to that. America is absolutely massive in comparison. So it's not a surprise that most Americans would look at something and say oh my God it's going to take us forever to go from where the ship docks to anywhere we can actually do something. Because in America any place a ship docs is a really long distance from anywhere you can actually do anything. And most the time you can't even walk through those areas because most of the time they are areas that are warehouse districts industrial districts things like that. So while Europeans love to make fun of Americans because oh no we can't walk. We walk extremely far just to get to the areas that we're at. Hell my kids when they went to high school their high school was exactly 20 miles from my front door to get to their high school. The junior high that my kids went to was 3 miles. The elementary school that my son goes to is a mile both directions. We still walk it we have no issues walking it.

JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 120d

There aren't a lot of places in the US that have worthwhile places to visit within walking distance from an airport or harbor.

Bloomcole@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 120d

Always funny to see a bunch of them walking on their tour.
Running after the guide on their way to some sight and a look of panic when they can't keep up in a crowd.
As if they're in some war zone.
Expecting to get robbed at any moment or hearing Alah Akbar before someone blows himself up.

username_1@programming.dev · 25 pts · 121d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social · 10 pts · 121d

We do! Some restaurants have inner gardens where you can eat and they are surrounded with olive trees. Italy and Spain are both countries that go very proud of their olive oil production!

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 22 pts · 121d (3 replies)

Not one restaurant in Italy offered me unlimited breadsticks just saying.

socsa@piefed.social · 8 pts · 120d

It's the opposite. They will just bring bread and olives to the table and then you find out that it was a $20 charge when you get the bill.

noxypaws@pawb.social · 2 pts · 120d (1 reply)

would we Americans even recognize a breadstick as such if it wasn't a quarter high fructose corn syrup by mass??

stormeuh@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 120d

In Europe you would have to call them cakesticks

doingthestuff@lemy.lol · 12 pts · 120d (2 replies)

Or to try all of the sausages of Germany and say, "Not bad, but I prefer Hot Dog on a Stick".

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 120d

"Tastes like it could use a bit more pink slime. Have you tried adding more pink slime to them?"

thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 120d

"I'm an Oscar Meyer weiner kid"

4am@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 120d

This man is going to cause a carpal tunnel genocide

saltnotsugar@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 121d

I once asked for a traditional “Mama Mia Margarita” and the whole Italian village chased me away.

heartpunk25@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 120d

Somebody is looking to pick fights.

mabeledo@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 120d (1 reply)

“It’s no Olive Garden”.

Thank fucking god.

thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 120d

The food in Italy was so amazing. Even after pasta, pizza, pasta, you never felt like you had a big ass ball of dough in your stomach. Way different ingredients than USA. USA sucks for food quality most of the time.

ragas@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 120d

RIP

muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 120d (2 replies)

Matteo Lane has entered the chat

LemmyThinkAboutIt@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 120d (1 reply)

Him and Nick eating at Olive garden is one of the funniest videos.

muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 120d

I does have a certain “I PIERCED THE TOAST!” Energy.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 120d

That's why it's the OG! Often imitated, never duplicated.

llama@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 120d

I mean it's not even a name brand restaurant how could they possibly be better

Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 120d (1 reply)

I went to Croatia and had Mexican food. If I had said it's no Chevy's, I would not be lying. Some of the worst Mexican food I'd ever had. I can't say I'd expected much. I got a laugh because the Aussies I was there with thought it was great. I ordered fajitas, and I got a quesadilla with bell peppers in it 😂.

But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 120d

Im Central American and that’s my fear about moving to Europe. I won’t be able to get the products from home as easily and cheap, will there be any good latin American food?

But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 120d

Pull out a packet of ketchup. Ask them if they have dip for the pizza crust.

AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social · 2 pts · 121d (3 replies)

I've seen an usian tourist argue with a waiter because his carbonara was not the right carbonara: it didn't have chicken and the chef refused to add ground beef to it.

I've seen another one ask for pasta with ketchup and being asked to leave the restaurant as they didn't even have ketchup and the chef refused to cook for them.

In Italy, most visited cities have started to hate tourist on a singular basis: those coming from the US are, without rivals, the worst ever tourists that can visit the country.

That's not to generalize, I've known some US tourists that were wonderful people, and I'm even friends with some that I can't wait to see again. But the general rule here is that if there's a tourist being an asshole and letting everyone know about it, chances of them being usian are extremely high.

AugustWest@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 120d (2 replies)

I've seen another one ask for pasta with ketchup and being asked to leave the restaurant as they didn't even have ketchup and the chef refused to cook for them.

And the whole restaurant clapped?

those coming from the US are, without rivals, the worst ever tourists that can visit the country.

That's not to generalize

But the general rule here is

What a roller coaster.

AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social · 3 pts · 120d

And the whole restaurant clapped?

No, this is not a rare thing to see. It happens quite often in touristic areas.

What a roller coaster.

Indeed, I wasn't generalizing, not all usians are awful tourists, but most awful tourists are usians. Not my fault if your reading comprehension is not that good or if you are salty about something I said because you got offended. If that's the case, tho, I don't really care, looks like I hit a sensitive spot.

slackassassin@piefed.social · 0 pts · 120d

As soon as they said usian surely a xenophobic diatribe was to follow.

bunnydog@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 120d

I love this

affiliate@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 115d

Must be pretty hungry if you’re eating a whole restaurant

diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 120d

Those breadsticks are peak though

thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 120d

Sandy sagan has never left Alabama

TrippyHippyDan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 121d

I think this person pointed out the only good reason America abuses its citizens to the point that the masses are too broke to travel...

RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · -5 pts · 120d (2 replies)

Ok? It's...not Olive Garden, though. No shit, it's not Olive Garden, congratulations on having eyes. Now would you like some Italian food?

Psythik@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 120d

Relax, it's only a joke.

ieGod@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 120d

Get off the internet.