As a small farm owner, no image has ever been more accurate

733 points · 80 comments · view on lemmy.world

80 Comments

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 80 pts · 114d (8 replies)

Chaotic Bastard is exactly right. Everyone thinks its geese or swans, and although they are truly bastards, roosters are raving rage filled lunatics.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 114d (3 replies)

Fucking hate them and chickens tbh. Eggs are just too good.

AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 114d (1 reply)

Ducks have a marginally better attitude and personality, and their eggs are much better, IMHO

mirshafie@europe.pub · 13 pts · 114d

I disagree, but my dad always raves about how great ducks are. Resilient, resistant to disease, eat everything including garden pests...

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 5 pts · 113d

I like how many kinds of leftovers can be given to chickens. The only limitation is that they have to get curious enough to peck at it. They'll ignore some delicious shit on their regular food plate if it's the "wrong" shape and color.

eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 114d

We had only hens, and the older one who was easing off laying started getting roosterish, the first time she charged me with wings spread and pecked my foot for picking up one of the other birds I was very confused.

bajabound@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 114d

I'm on around #30 in my life, both ends of the spectrum across that time. Currently have 3, they are all hybrids with silkies and are all doscile. Last batch were barred rock absolute assholes that would go out of their way for a confrontation.

village604@adultswim.fan · 2 pts · 113d

Bantam roosters dial the bastard up to 12.

SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 1 pts · 110d

We had a funny one. He was a bastard as well, but he was not too bad and could be hand fed without attacking. He and the geese had a truce though.

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 114d (9 replies)

Got attacked by herding dogs a couple weeks ago. I can confirm they're not as smart as they seem. They left their herd and ran a solid 100m to the road I was walking to stand in front of me and bark. Spoiler alert: I am not a wolf

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 114d (2 replies)

Are you absolutely positive you're not a wolf though ?

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 114d

Awooooobsolutely positive

EDIT: Whoops

redsand@infosec.pub · 11 pts · 114d

Obviously not. You're clearly a skinny bear with extreme hair loss.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 114d (1 reply)

Are there two wolves inside you?

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 113d

Yes, but they're both vegan

scbasteve@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 113d (3 replies)

He was after the two wolves inside you

*Somebody already made that joke, I'm killing myself

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 113d (2 replies)

Don't kill yourself. Kill one of the wolves inside you. Then you still have one wolf

rmuk@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 112d (1 reply)

Once you're down to a single wolf inside you, you'll find it easier to cross the river inside you with the cabbage and goat that are also inside you.

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 111d

I hope I also have some Pepto-bismol inside me with that big conundrum!

gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 51 pts · 114d (5 replies)

True stupid :D I love sheep! Their simplicity enchants me.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 114d (2 replies)

Absolutely nothing staring out of those square eyes

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 114d

"Want grass. Eat grass, good."

The_v@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 114d

It's nothing but an existential hatred of existence. Damn things are suicidal. There was always a few that managed to kill themselves every year on the ranch.

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 19 pts · 114d (1 reply)

While in English usually sheep or sheeple is meant as an insult saying you don't think on your own and just follow programming, in Estonian it's just a playful way to call someone a dumbass. It's something you might say to your significant other or good friend after they make a stupid ass-joke (reverse ass-hyphen xkcd time)

So may we all be sheep on this glorious day

eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 114d

And if you're cranky "stop being a bear"

bizarroland@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 114d (4 replies)

I may be lawful stupid, but I'm a good boy, goddamnit.

cows_are_underrated@feddit.org · 9 pts · 114d (2 replies)

Woof

basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 113d (1 reply)

is that lawful big or stupid now?

cows_are_underrated@feddit.org · 3 pts · 113d

Yes

Jo4ted@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 114d

:3

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 38 pts · 114d (4 replies)

This is waay too fucking perfect.

I've not owned a farm, but I grew around county fairs and often visited and helped out at horse stables or local / friend's farms or ranches or what not.

The only change I could possibly suggest is that somehow a horse needs to be 'big chaotic stupid', but i know that breaks the system, but goddamnit horses are fucking stupid.

Radiantprime@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 113d (1 reply)

I've watched a horse kick itself in the cock

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 113d

... that... is not something I had previously imagined as possible.

sigh

isssei@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 114d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
iocase@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 113d

They also walk around on their middle fingers so they're literally flipping the world off with all 4 limbs from the day they were born.

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 33 pts · 114d (5 replies)

I would argue the horses not being sorted in the "stupid" row...

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 114d (3 replies)

Fair but they must be big. I don't have horses and haven't spent too much time with them. Never really liked them tbh.

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 114d (2 replies)

Shetland Pony has entered the chat.
But then again, Shetties are not stupid...

The_v@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 114d

Shetties fall into the pure evil category. It's not on the chart because the little shits are extra sneaky about it.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 114d

I believe you

snooggums@piefed.world · 10 pts · 114d

There was too much stupid going around so they got pushed onto the other category.

realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip · 21 pts · 114d (12 replies)

having one of the most intelligent dog races in "stupid" is a bit offensive.

hansolo@lemmy.today · 16 pts · 114d (1 reply)

My family has a few... They're good at some things, but can be dumb as a box of hair at other things. They're the perfect entry for lawful stupid.

Also, that's a dog breed. Dogs don't have races, other than greyhounds at the track.

basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 113d

probably a mistranslation, because both is the same word in German

bajabound@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 114d

I have a couple of those. They are smart but do some truly dumbass things sometimes.

ChetManly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 114d

I have one. He's an idiot 😂

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 114d (1 reply)

Dog doesn't seem to mind the accusation

monotremata@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 114d

I think they care a lot about the lawful axis and not at all about the stupid axis.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 114d (5 replies)

Offensive to who

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 114d (4 replies)

The dog

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 114d (3 replies)

Why

tpihkal@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 114d

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 114d (1 reply)

Why not

ddplf@szmer.info · 2 pts · 114d

Because the aint stupid

WatDabney@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 114d (7 replies)

Seems about right, though I'd note that if you have geese, the rooster doesn't even begin to compare for chaotic bastard.

GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 114d (5 replies)

Geese can't cause you bodily harm. Roosters will straight up kill you.

snooggums@piefed.world · 14 pts · 114d

Geese have the attitude, but not the weapons.

Roosters are all weapon.

cheeseburger@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 114d (1 reply)

"What I remember is the goose giving me the evil eye and then the goose wrapping its wings around my head, and I can't see and I hear myself screaming," she said.

Surman spent five days in hospital after suffering a concussion, fractured cheekbone, face lacerations including a scar under her eyebrow and loose teeth.

She credits wearing a bike helmet and sunglasses with preventing more serious injuries.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/goose-attack-leaves-ottawa-cyclist-shaken-and-scarred-1.2686751

GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 114d

Self-inflicted.

The_v@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 114d (1 reply)

My ass and legs disagree after a gander latched on to my ass and beat me with his wings when I was a kid on the ranch.

Next time he came at me, I had a baseball bat. Roasted gander for dinner.

GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 114d

I'm sure you were fine. Kids have a tendency to overreact. I also was "viciously attacked" by a goose as a child.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 114d

I believe it.

THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 114d

I have called my cat all of these at various times. Wonderful.

GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 114d (11 replies)

Haven't spent much time with cattle huh. Idk if any animal fits the lawful big square.

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 114d (3 replies)

elephants. they mostly choose not to kill. mostly.

GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 114d

Balene whales. The ultimate lawful lifeform.

Photonic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 114d

I would say rhinos rather than elephants, put elephants in neutral (although a bull in musth just wants to kill everything) and hippos in chaotic.

hansolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 114d

There's a place for an Africa version of this.

Chaotic big would be hippos. Lawful big eles. Neutral big giraffes. All 3 will straight up murder you, but only the hippo will do it for fun.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 114d (6 replies)

I have sheep, goats, pigs,ducks, chickens, a couple llamas, dogs, cats and a couple Hereford cows. The cows have been very easy going/playful in the time I've had them.

GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 114d (1 reply)

Well, just don't get complacent. Cows kill a lot of people.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 114d

True enough

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 114d (3 replies)

Knew a guy who had a bunch of limousines, but it was a bull herd. He said the bigger ones would damn near rape the smaller ones to death. Or maybe they actually accomplished it, it's been a while and I don't remember.

I'm hoping cows are friendlier than bulls though

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 114d (2 replies)

...... what?

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 114d (1 reply)

Yeah turns out they get really aggressive apparently. And animals can have gay buttsecks too. Sometimes it's... Less than consensual.

Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 114d

.... oh.... ok

SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 114d

Chaotic Big should be a donkey

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 114d

Ok but how do they taste on a sandwich?

chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 114d

Prepotente, Donut, and Penelope are all appalled

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · -4 pts · 114d (2 replies)

A human family .... in this case the farmers family ... would also fit in all those categories

gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 114d

funny but not true, i knew nice farmers

OwOarchist@pawb.social · 2 pts · 114d

lol, including the 'big', given the few farmers I've known.