I'm not going to suggest a name because they're deeply personal and I don't know anything about you, but I will share a story instead.
I compare it to stargazing. Picture yourself laying on a hill on a calm night looking up at the night sky. The first thing you see is a scattering of stars, far too many to count. As you look around, you even start to notice the far away ones. But then you realize that they all shine differently. After a few minutes you start to pick out the brightest ones, about a dozen or so. Your eyes dart back and forth between them trying to connect them mentally. After doing this for a bit, you notice yourself bouncing back to the same 3 or 4 stars that seem to shine the brightest. You keep looking around trying to give each star a fair shot, but your eyes somehow always wander back to those brightest stars. Eventually, given enough time, you'll notice something peculiar about one in particular. Maybe it's the brightest, or the largest, or it has a slight tint that sets it apart. That is your star.
The stars represent countless possibilities, and the brightest one is your name. It takes time, don't rush it.
I wonder if this is of any help... But sometime parents have names planned before the child is born, and they might have had thought of two. Have you asked them if you had a female name before your birth?
In any case... Damn, you've got style! And sorry I cannot be useful with directly suggesting names. My mother tongue is not English, so all names I'd intuitively come up with would be all weird for an English-speaker.
I wanted to do that, but when I tried to come out to my parents my mom started saying like "well my identity is having a son!!" so now im just pretending to not be trans around them
Well as a dad, I hereby officially declare you as fine just the way you are.
It's ok to struggle as a parent with your kid's sexuality/identity if you don't fully understand things. It's NOT ok to make it about yourself and stand in between your child and happiness.
Tell your mom an internet stranger said "shame on you" and bonus points if you throw a handful of glitter in the air as you walk away.
That is awful! You're seriously unlucky with your parents. But you've got so much strength in you to be able to ask these questions. And to answer to my comment.
I'm picking up Amy vibes from you. No matter what you pick though, there is no wrong name. I deliberated on mine for years, but in retrospect I was just stalling. Congratulations on finding the courage to come out, and sorry to hear your family not taking it well. I'm all too familiar with that sting of betrayal myself. If you ever need to talk or vent, we are all here for you!
Nice photos! You have a very similar style to my photography (I'm guessing you also don't have many photos with people in them?)
And the same taste in cameras. I have 3 Pentax film cameras.
In my view, there isn't a "perfect name". There is just a big bucket of good names. You pick a name and then throughout your life you make that name yours.
Your "perfect name" isn't picked, it is built. That is why it's hard to choose. Because none of these names are really yours yet.
Il just going with what my parents probably would have picked. My grandmother's names (for myself obviously). You could always look through the top 100 names for the year you were born and see if anything grabs your attention.
Fuck, I thought I had an original name to add. I know a Heather who looks exactly like OP. It's a great name, kinda outdoorsy, not too common or too cliché imo.
"Astrid is a given name of Scandinavian origin, a modern form of the name Ástríðr. Derived from the Old Norse Ássfriðr, a compound name composed of the elements áss (a god) and fríðr (beautiful, fair)." - wiki
Boring straight cis reporting in: I guess I knew it was a step in the process, but never really thought about the feelings part of choosing a new name for yourself. That's awesome! It's got to feel empowering. How far along the journey do most people get to that part?
It varies person to person, i had a name years before HRT, some dont decide a name until hrt. And even some others end up changing it howevet many times until its right.
Some people decide names themselves. I personally had my partner pick mine, because it felt more right to me that someone else decides my name. I mean, thats how it works at birth, so it makes more sense to me. But thats not for everyone, and some would rather choose their own
Also just to say, you being here in the first place makes you not just a "boring straight cis" person. Thanks for taking the time to learn, and engage with us. Thats all we want in the end, just to feel that were part of society as much as anyone else. Your engagement means the world to us ❤️❤️
I think I subconsciously added the 'boring' part simply to make clear the fact that I didn't consider the 'straight cis' part to be in any way superior, like a title of prestige or anything. I dream of the day when this sort of thing is put in the same category as learning that someone is left-handed. It's a point of notice given the rarity, but it will never change someone's opinion of you after learning that. No accommodations really need to be made at this point, because the fraction of the population that is left-handed has long since been accounted for and designed around. The most complete level of acceptance that can be reached for any concept is when it can be safely ignored while still acknowledging that it exists. I feel like we're nearly there with gay people, in that, it's something that can be mentioned without changing your tone of voice at the office. There's clearly still work to do though, and I'm glad to help out however I'm able. You just keep being you.
So in my name search one that I loved that didn’t quite fit me was Liora. I wanted something that was light and lyrical with lots of nickname potential. So feel free to try it on and see if it feels like home for you.
Lindsay was the first name that came to mind. On the level of "If we met and you told me your name and my ADHD got the better of me and I forgot it as I often do. But then later that week someone asked me, gun to my head, what your name was. I'd take my chances with Lindsay".
99 Comments
Kayday@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 91d
You look like an Allison / Aly to me!
ElectricWaterfall@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 91d
I thought this too before I came to the comments!!
me_jumper@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 91d
I thought Anna, but I think that is not too common in the US. So I think I'm agreeing with this the most 😊
(Just noticed: maybe they are not in the US as well. Even I as a German think US centric online, weird.)
Witchfire@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 91d
I'm not going to suggest a name because they're deeply personal and I don't know anything about you, but I will share a story instead.
I compare it to stargazing. Picture yourself laying on a hill on a calm night looking up at the night sky. The first thing you see is a scattering of stars, far too many to count. As you look around, you even start to notice the far away ones. But then you realize that they all shine differently. After a few minutes you start to pick out the brightest ones, about a dozen or so. Your eyes dart back and forth between them trying to connect them mentally. After doing this for a bit, you notice yourself bouncing back to the same 3 or 4 stars that seem to shine the brightest. You keep looking around trying to give each star a fair shot, but your eyes somehow always wander back to those brightest stars. Eventually, given enough time, you'll notice something peculiar about one in particular. Maybe it's the brightest, or the largest, or it has a slight tint that sets it apart. That is your star.
The stars represent countless possibilities, and the brightest one is your name. It takes time, don't rush it.
TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 91d
You're super pretty, wow!
Maybe Amanda? Sophie? Kayleigh?
Idk this is so random 😭
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 91d
Sophie's pretty good, I don't really like eigh names and i feel like im the wrong generation for amanda. I'll definitely add sophie to my list though
Shirow@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 91d
Sophie/ Sophia came to my mind too, Emelyn (probably too French?) Somehow I could an Amy too? 😊
Gebruikersnaam@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 90d
It's a geat pick! Totally not biased :)
whoisearth@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 90d
Trogdor the Burninator
butwhyishischinabook@anarchist.nexus · 2 pts · 90d
Burrrrnanaaating the country-side!
lena@gregtech.eu · 10 pts · 91d
Kate/Katy.
Also, nice kitty. I demand more cat tax.
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 91d
Ooh I'd spell it katie but I like that.
Here's roof cat
Lehmuusa@nord.pub · 10 pts · 91d
I wonder if this is of any help... But sometime parents have names planned before the child is born, and they might have had thought of two. Have you asked them if you had a female name before your birth?
In any case... Damn, you've got style! And sorry I cannot be useful with directly suggesting names. My mother tongue is not English, so all names I'd intuitively come up with would be all weird for an English-speaker.
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 23 pts · 91d
I wanted to do that, but when I tried to come out to my parents my mom started saying like "well my identity is having a son!!" so now im just pretending to not be trans around them
HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 91d
Wow.
Well as a dad, I hereby officially declare you as fine just the way you are.
It's ok to struggle as a parent with your kid's sexuality/identity if you don't fully understand things. It's NOT ok to make it about yourself and stand in between your child and happiness.
Tell your mom an internet stranger said "shame on you" and bonus points if you throw a handful of glitter in the air as you walk away.
Edit: Taylor?
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 91d
Blibly@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 91d
Jesus christ how pathetic of your mom. hugs
thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 91d
My mom said that if I'd been born a girl my name would have been Alice. I don't need it, so you can have it if you want
grue@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 91d
But @thisisbutaname, if you give up your name you'll have nothing left!
mech@feddit.org · 6 pts · 90d
Poor woman, she had a 50% chance of having to live with no identity at all.
db_null@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 91d
Uff, sorry to hear that. Hope they will come around and educate themself a bit about you. Best of luck, Emma (?)
Lehmuusa@nord.pub · 2 pts · 91d
...huh!
That is awful! You're seriously unlucky with your parents. But you've got so much strength in you to be able to ask these questions. And to answer to my comment.
Admirable!
ChexMax@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 91d
You look like a Sarah to me :) like you should be surrounded by flowers
TechieDamien@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 90d
I'm picking up Amy vibes from you. No matter what you pick though, there is no wrong name. I deliberated on mine for years, but in retrospect I was just stalling. Congratulations on finding the courage to come out, and sorry to hear your family not taking it well. I'm all too familiar with that sting of betrayal myself. If you ever need to talk or vent, we are all here for you!
Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 91d
How about Natalie?
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 91d
oooooh i like that. i could be just like the best bob's burgers character
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 91d
I couldn't remember who that was and had to look her up. The limo driver!
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 91d
I see a camera! Tell me more! Show your work! You have the attention of a lifelong devoted photographer.
Also, I’m Tanis, pronounced TAH-niss, and there needs to be more of me with that name in the world!
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 91d
That's my Pentax P3.
I'm not a great photographer, but here are a couple of my favorite photos I've taken with that camera
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 91d
You’ve got a solid eye for composition! Keep it up!
ada@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 91d
Just saying, blahaj zone has a fediverse based photography instance http://photos.blahaj.zone/
I'd love to see more people upgrading photos there than just me :)
mech@feddit.org · 1 pts · 90d
Nice photos! You have a very similar style to my photography (I'm guessing you also don't have many photos with people in them?)
And the same taste in cameras. I have 3 Pentax film cameras.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 90d
biggeoff@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 90d
I'm a fan of Brooke ♥️
brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 89d
Me too! 😁❤️
Luci@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 91d
We can all give you suggestions, but what names were you feeling? Those are the best names to choose from.
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 91d
These are my favorites far, not really in any order
Luci@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 90d
All of those are great names, I like Eleanor personally
Shayeta@feddit.org · 4 pts · 90d
In my view, there isn't a "perfect name". There is just a big bucket of good names. You pick a name and then throughout your life you make that name yours.
Your "perfect name" isn't picked, it is built. That is why it's hard to choose. Because none of these names are really yours yet.
oftheair@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 91d
Check out name meanings and find one that fits with what you want.
Alternatively since one of us is a fae we could give you a name we have
stolenbeen given.Calfpupa@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 91d
Mackenzie
Edit: my wife says Sophie
YoureHotCupCake@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 91d
Elena?
RecursiveParadox@piefed.social · 3 pts · 91d
Grace, because you are graceful.
TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 91d
I'd call you Grace if you asked me to guess your name
matchaotter@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 90d
Marcy
cramola@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 91d
Chloe?
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 91d
Hmmm, currently the top of my list already and people keep suggesting it. Definitely considering it
Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 91d
Il just going with what my parents probably would have picked. My grandmother's names (for myself obviously). You could always look through the top 100 names for the year you were born and see if anything grabs your attention.
Aurinia@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 90d
I see a Jessica/Jessie :)
brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 89d
Ive thought for a couple days and i keep coming back to hanah or hannah, i really like that one for you ❤️❤️
Did you end up deciding on one?
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 87d
Not yet, I think chloe and natalie are my favorites so ill probably try one of those for a while
unknown@piefed.social · 1 pts · 83d
Tallia or Tally would be really cute on you as abbrieviations of Nathalie too.
DmMacniel@feddit.org · 2 pts · 91d
Kat(hrine)
pangea@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 90d
Leah
joeljoelle@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 91d
Emily? Elle? I say Elle because in the second picture you look like Elle Fanning, to my eyes at least. :) Cute berry vest :)
Dragonfruit@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 91d
I like emily a lot, I feel like its maybe too much of a trans stereotypical name though. Elle is pretty good, I'll add it to my list
joeljoelle@piefed.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 91d
Ohhh I gotcha, it's a new world to me.. good luck :)
neo2478@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 91d
The second picture if totally giving me Elle Fanning vibes, so I'd say Elle
Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org · 2 pts · 91d
Brooke or Heather!
Hoimo@ani.social · 2 pts · 90d
Fuck, I thought I had an original name to add. I know a Heather who looks exactly like OP. It's a great name, kinda outdoorsy, not too common or too cliché imo.
PurpleStephyr@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 90d
Grace
GoneGorl@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 90d
Maybe Madeline?
regdog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d
Celeste
Janx@piefed.social · 2 pts · 91d
Bridget?
iThinkDifferentThanU@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 91d
Zorsith@piefed.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 91d
Chelsea?
BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 91d
Giving Brooke vibes imo
Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 91d
Ivy. That's what came to my mind. Good luck in your quest for a name.
AmyCatbunny@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 85d
The first name dangling through my brain when I saw the pocs was Sudan. I don't know, why, but I think it is quite fitting 😊
Tiresia@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 91d
Irene?
Gebruikersnaam@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 90d
Leila/Layla
its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 91d
Lyta
Furbag@pawb.social · 1 pts · 89d
Holly.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 91d
Lucy
zbyte64@awful.systems · 1 pts · 90d
Anthiope
Just popped in my head and come to find out it's a Greek godess.
Taleya@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 90d
Beth
talbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 89d
"Astrid is a given name of Scandinavian origin, a modern form of the name Ástríðr. Derived from the Old Norse Ássfriðr, a compound name composed of the elements áss (a god) and fríðr (beautiful, fair)." - wiki
The variants are nice too.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 91d
I always name my female video game characters Cassandra for some reason, so that's the first name that came to mind.
stoicmaverick@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 91d
Boring straight cis reporting in: I guess I knew it was a step in the process, but never really thought about the feelings part of choosing a new name for yourself. That's awesome! It's got to feel empowering. How far along the journey do most people get to that part?
brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 89d
It varies person to person, i had a name years before HRT, some dont decide a name until hrt. And even some others end up changing it howevet many times until its right.
Some people decide names themselves. I personally had my partner pick mine, because it felt more right to me that someone else decides my name. I mean, thats how it works at birth, so it makes more sense to me. But thats not for everyone, and some would rather choose their own
Also just to say, you being here in the first place makes you not just a "boring straight cis" person. Thanks for taking the time to learn, and engage with us. Thats all we want in the end, just to feel that were part of society as much as anyone else. Your engagement means the world to us ❤️❤️
stoicmaverick@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d
I think I subconsciously added the 'boring' part simply to make clear the fact that I didn't consider the 'straight cis' part to be in any way superior, like a title of prestige or anything. I dream of the day when this sort of thing is put in the same category as learning that someone is left-handed. It's a point of notice given the rarity, but it will never change someone's opinion of you after learning that. No accommodations really need to be made at this point, because the fraction of the population that is left-handed has long since been accounted for and designed around. The most complete level of acceptance that can be reached for any concept is when it can be safely ignored while still acknowledging that it exists. I feel like we're nearly there with gay people, in that, it's something that can be mentioned without changing your tone of voice at the office. There's clearly still work to do though, and I'm glad to help out however I'm able. You just keep being you.
mnfalconia_a2gc@retrolemmy.com · 2 pts · 83d
Wow, same with me! Nice to meet another sister who got named the same way - this manner of naming seems to be very rare overall..
brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 83d
Twinsies! ❤️❤️
Mohamed@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 91d
Alice
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 91d
Courtney comes to mind. That might be very Gen X of me.
Blibly@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 91d
Darla, Allison, Morgan
spacegoat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 90d
Lena
alexis@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 91d
I saw you and thought Brittney, but there are so many beautiful names in the comments too!
Dogiedog64@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 90d
Arlene, maybe? Idk.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 89d
Georgia
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 90d
First name that came to me was Candice.
ElenaInBloom@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 90d
So in my name search one that I loved that didn’t quite fit me was Liora. I wanted something that was light and lyrical with lots of nickname potential. So feel free to try it on and see if it feels like home for you.
Pronunciation: Lee-OR-ah Meaning: Liora – “my light” (Hebrew) Nicknames: Lee, Ora, Lio, Liri, Lili
frtzngbllr@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 91d
I think Kim would fit you.
psion1369@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 91d
Tiffany, but go by Tiff
FoxyFerengi@startrek.website · 1 pts · 91d
I really get a young Gillian Anderson vibe from your pictures, so maybe Jillian?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 91d
What about Divona, it's the name of the Gallic goddess of sacred springs and rivers
BallShapedMan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 91d
Theresa, Tess for short.
TaterTot@piefed.social · 1 pts · 91d
Lindsay was the first name that came to mind. On the level of "If we met and you told me your name and my ADHD got the better of me and I forgot it as I often do. But then later that week someone asked me, gun to my head, what your name was. I'd take my chances with Lindsay".
baka@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 85d
Kat Meow :3
kamillz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 91d
Kamilla or Camila