I have never met a bigger group of morons in my life than in this thread, congratulations for eliminating my faith in the intellect of humanity.
Black coffee
I have never met a bigger group of morons in my life than in this thread, congratulations for eliminating my faith in the intellect of humanity.
91 Comments
sheridan@lemmy.world · 115 pts · 43d
Clean your car before whatever is growing in it becomes sentient.
sudo@lemmy.today · 60 pts · 43d
The coffee looks gross, but somehow not the most infuriating part of this image
Witchfire@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 43d
I had to go back and check. OP what the fuck
Tm12@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 43d
Y’all ever watch time-lapsed car interior detailing videos? Very satisfying, albeit disgusting.
johntash@eviltoast.org · 4 pts · 43d
I prefer power washing or mowing videos because you get the satisfaction without it starting as something that is gross.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 43d
My car looks like that but I'd never be bold enough to post it online, and certainly not while trash talking somebody else.
As a side note though, I've always had people give me the cream pods on the side.
Slatlun@lemmy.ml · 70 pts · 43d
Weird. I only drink black and this has never happened to me. Not sure why you're getting the short end of the stick
Telodzrum@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 43d
I also only drink it black and have never had this happen to me.
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 16 pts · 43d
Apparently the "you can't order a black coffee anymore" thing is a common conservative fantasy
I honestly was blissfully unaware until I stumbled across the above video
jet@hackertalks.com · 12 pts · 43d
As somebody who only drinks black, I can confirm, there are no problems anywhere ordering it. Just tell them black coffee, or iced Americano, or an espresso shot, or whatever. And if they make mistake and you show it to them they'll fix it. There is literally no conspiracy here
Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 43d
No, but it makes room for places like Black Rifle Coffee Company to take market share.
Slatlun@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 43d
Well, that's a new one to me. Thanks for the link!
Krudler@lemmy.world · -104 pts · 43d
I'm not sure
But one thing I am sure of, is there's always somebody like you who pops up to insist the problem does not exist
You're probably a barista
My job as the customer is to say "black coffee please". The rest is not up to me. So I can't speculate why people cannot comprehend the concept of black coffee.
Slatlun@lemmy.ml · 66 pts · 43d
Yeah, that's not what I said. Enjoy your creamer
Buffalox@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 43d
No you were absolutely polite, giving him 100% the benefit of doubt. And yet he made this weird attack.
shweddy@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 43d
Damn who put milk in your coffee?
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 35 pts · 43d
You know how people with anti-tailgating bumper stickers are also the worse and most clueless drivers going ten under the speed limit?
I think we've found the reason why people don't care if your order is correct or not.
Sturgist@piefed.ca · 11 pts · 43d
If you're constantly surrounded by assholes.... you're probably the asshole.
M137@lemmy.today · 19 pts · 43d
All you've managed to do is prove that you are the issue here. They're probably making the wrong order because you're a POS. Tens or hundreds of millions of people order black coffee every day without any issues, most who'll never get a wrong order in their life. If you keep getting the wrong thing then there is surely something wrong from your side.
I've ordered black coffee from many places for many years and not once gotten a wrong order. Never been a batista, don't see how that would matter anyway.
klugerama@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 43d
I truly think this is either just bad luck on your part or poor communication.
You've probably never been a barista.
I get coffee with c & s sometimes, black sometimes, depending on what I feel like. But I always make it crystal clear exactly how much cream and sugar I want. If I want it black, I don't just say "black coffee please". I say "coffee, NO cream NO sugar".
They get orders for coffee many times a day, and most people want c & s, and most people even expect it without specifying it. So even though you say "black", it may not register unless you clarify that that means no cream, no sugar.
Pika@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 43d
not op but, I mean... I'm all for more detail but, I can't shift the blame on this one. "no cream no sugar" is literally what "black coffee" means... If I go to a McDonald's and ask for a cheeseburger, I'm not going to ask them to put cheese on it, its expected as it's a cheese burger.
I don't think it's too unreasonable to expect someone working in a coffee shop, to understand what a black coffee is. To shift that blame into it somehow being the consumers inability to describe it is absurd.
Like if this was some rare or obscure thing I would fully agree... but the concept of a black coffee is super popular and by no means a rare occurrence..
sness@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 43d
Having worked at a fast food burger place, there's absolutely people that will order a "cheeseburger" and be surprised when there's cheese. Not many, but it happened to me a couple times. We were also trained that "plain" means no onion and pickle, but leave the ketchup and mustard on as that's how our PoS defined the term.
Pika@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 43d
if I went to a restaurant and I asked for a plain burger and they still supplied condiments, it's going back. That's not what a plain burger is by definition, I've only ever gotten plain burgers without condiments though so I haven't experienced this. I assume they did it that way as a "well if they wanted no condiments they would specify dry" but thats still an off case.
I don't agree with normalizing to the niche/off cases (such as your cheeseburger example). Definitions in the field should be what people generally expect. In most of the english speaking world, a cheeseburger has cheese, and a black coffee means no milk/cream, usually no sugar, I could understand them adding sugar to it, although it would annoy me, but to add milk to a black coffee is not explainable.
klugerama@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 43d
OK, sure, they should know. I agree, but it takes absolutely minimal effort to add "no cream no sugar" when you order.
You can be stubborn and insist that you shouldn't have to endure the trauma of all that extra effort on your part so that you can get the wrong order and then complain about it.
There are many fast food places (in the US South, particularly) where you can order a Coke, and they'll ask you what kind. Because saying "coke" to some people just means "soda", not necessarily "Coca-Cola".
I'm saying it's a psychological thing. Coffee is black, so when someone says "black coffee", it may not click in the barista's mind that they actually want percolated/drip coffee with no cream or sugar. All they hear is the coffee part, and so they serve it the way most people want/expect it.
Ultimately they should ask, even if you say "black". I've worked fast food, and so many people just don't know how to even order the things they want. But if they don't ask, you - as the customer - should be able to make it clear. What do you get out of not clarifying?
Pika@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 43d
To me, it's more I wouldn't want to sound weird to everyone else around me. Asking for a black coffee with no cream or sugar is to the same effect of saying "hi yes I would like scrambled eggs cooked please".
If I went to my bank teller and said "Yea I would like to cash this check please" you aren't expected to have to say "I would like to cash this check back as cash please"
These are just examples of what I mean, it's expected that someone working in a shop that specializes in a specific topic, to at least know the basics of that product. I would definitely classify "black coffee" as a basic topic in a coffee shop.
It's along the same lines as you wouldn't want to be caught saying "I went to the ATM machine" it's already defined earlier in the sentence so its redundant.
klugerama@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 43d
For all the examples you listed, how often is the result wrong to to lack of communication? Have you ever ordered scrambled eggs and received them uncooked, because they didn't understand what scrambled means? Have you ever asked to cash a check, and the bank teller gave you...something other than cash?
Those are examples of things that don't require clarification, ever. Because there is no variation of those that is even slightly common. No one ever says they want scrambled eggs raw. No one ever asks to cash a check in any other way than to receive cash. There's no common precedent for a mistake here.
But black coffee is, evidently, just enough of a fuzzy area that it happens sometimes. I guarantee you that people order black coffee with cream and sugar, because they either think "black coffee" means "coffee" or because they think saying "black coffee" means "drip coffee" and distinguishes it from espresso.
Yes, it shouldn't be a problem, but it is a problem. So where's the harm in changing how you order it and saying "coffee no cream no sugar" instead of "black coffee"? Just don't say black coffee and it won't sound redundant.
Pika@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 43d
as a preface, I personally have never had a barista fail to know what black coffee mean, I understand your point but, I see black coffee to fall under the same area with no wiggle room.
A black coffee is exactly that, when you modify it it's no longer a black coffee. Just like if you say you are cashing a check but you want to deposit it instead, that's depositing a check not cashing it. When you add a modifier to a word like that, the expectation is that the modifier is honored.
I don't see a precedent where a black coffee should be able to be misconstrued. I can understand your example of the drip coffee, but people saying that are going to just use "drip coffee", "coffee", "normal coffee" or any other phrase that isn't already an existing product in the world. And if it is misconstrued by the consumer, that is the customers problem, and if they receive the wrong product they will realize the issue and fix it for next time. We shouldn't be redefining existing definitions or products to fit for those cases.
You could change how you order it but, the fact is it shouldn't be required for an establishment to provide what is ordered. The barista not knowing what a black coffee is, at the end of the day is a failure on the establishment, and indicates the employee likely wasn't trained adequately for the job. Forcing the consumer to change how they order may help the customer, but it isn't going to help the underlining issue which is that the barista doesn't know what "black coffee" means, so its just going to disadvantage the next customer who does order the product.
as an ammendum though: if this was consistantly happening to me(i.e its clear it isn't just a simple mistake due to being overworked or not caring), I likely would change the way I ordered, or more realistically stop going to that establishment because that's a orange or yellow flag for me training wise.
Witchfire@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 43d
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 43d
I also drink it black and have never had this happen to me.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 49 pts · 43d
OP went to McDonald's (it reads McCafé, and the colours are right) and is trash talking minimum wage employees because he couldn't be fucked to be clear in communication, and likely couldn't offer a modicum of respect for the employees.
Your expectations are way too high for McDonald's. They are not baristas, and most importantly, they are most likely teenagers. It's not impossible you accidentally got someone else's coffee, too. Shit happens. Stop being a child about it, and politely ask to switch it out.
OP, you have issues. Also, your car is fucking disgusting, I feel bad for whatever mechanic has to work on it. Start with that, you have bigger problems in life.
Edit: lmao OP is salty and has no introspection abilities
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 43d
Honestly, the coffee at the McDonald's in Germany and the Netherlands is really good. Better than many coffee shops and Starbucks. It's the only reason I sometimes go to McDonald's. When traveling, it usually is the best you can get at train stations. Especially when drinking black.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 43d
Will have to test that out if I ever visit! Here in Canada, it's mildly better than Tim's but it's still just stained water IMO. Rather go to a real coffee shop, or god forbid, Starbucks.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 42d
I was shocked at how crappy Tim's is when I finally visited for the first time. I thought it was supposed to some sacred institution beyond reproach, but it's just the worst chain trash. Like Seattle's Dick's.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 43d
I prefer my freshly grinded home brew. I'm never drinking Starbuck, it's tasteless toxic junk. It's not even in the coffee category. I prefer drinking my own piss over that equally disgusting yet expensive liquid waste.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 43d
Same tbh, still better than Tim's / McD somehow. There's a community roasting facility near where I live, and it means I'm surrounded with excellent coffee shops that roast their own beans there, so whatever I buy and grind myself from these shops will be excellent.
Edit: Tim's = Tim Hortons
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 43d
I think most people overlook the importance of drinking really good coffee. Sure, you get some caffeine from blackwater, but the moment of enjoyment when drinking something proper, that moment of bliss in the morning, makes your day start so much better. Mediterranean countries understand this principle. Same goes for food.
Also, I don't know what Tim's is.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 43d
I mostly drink decaf, so I literally drink coffee mostly for taste.
KittensAreKittens@lemmy.today · 31 pts · 43d
Lol your dirty cupholder is also mildly infuriating.
newtraditionalists@kbin.melroy.org · 16 pts · 43d
Mildly?? I forget how filthy so many people are. This was an unwelcome but necessary reminder lol
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 43d
It's fucking nasty. My car is overdue for a clean and this is what mine looks like (we got coffee just this morning)
X@piefed.world · 22 pts · 43d
Back talk. As in talking back.
Translation: When I tell you shit, you either agree with the truth I speak, or you shut the fuck up.
Stars forbid anyone fucking disagree with you and speak their fucking minds. Conversations are one way with you: from you to everyone else.
Holyginz@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 43d
Yea, using the phrase back talk makes them seem like a parent talking to a child. Whether I agree with what they said or not that phrase being applied the way they did it got my hackles raised.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 43d
"talking back" is really just an oddly specific way of saying "answering", generally to acknowledge or ask further clarifying questions.
OP sounds like my parents, anything I say is talking back. They like to talk at people rather than to people.
SpikesOtherDog@ani.social · 6 pts · 43d
I recall being backhanded just trying to discuss a difference of opinion. I don't recall the conversation from 30 years ago, only that my opinion was not wanted.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 43d
I read somewhere that emotions create stronger neuronal connections than information. Your emotion of rejection is valid.
YoFrodo@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 43d
When ordering a black coffee there shouldnt be anyone else 'speaking their mind'. It's a plain coffee, no opinions from the barista required. It's not a negotiation.
What is this comment?
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 43d
Clean your car
partiallycyber@ttrpg.network · 17 pts · 43d
OP is more infuriating than the post lol
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 17 pts · 43d
I have never once had a problem with "coffee, black". Doing more would require extra work, you're telling me someone went out of their way to put a little cream in your coffee?
At most you were perhaps given the wrong order.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 43d
Whatever lives in your car probably infected the coffee. The coffee is the least gross part in this photo.
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 43d
Looks like hot water with a brown crayon in it.
0ops@piefed.zip · 9 pts · 43d
You talking about the cup or the car?
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 43d
Trying to ignore what’s going on with the car. Echt.
Krudler@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 43d
Let's not overlook the spots of curdled spoiled cream on top
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 43d
There is no curdled spoiled cream, I think you're either having a very bad day and looking for things to complain about, or you have a victim complex.
Red_October@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 43d
"You can't even order black coffee anymore" is a common Conservative fantasy. OP definitely has a victim complex.
taiyang@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 43d
Tbf, I do see tiny white specs on that coffee if you look at high res of that photo. It's the kind of thing you see a lot at poor quality coffee places though I usually drink it anyway for the caffeine addiction.
Krudler@lemmy.world · -12 pts · 43d
It's not a black coffee, and they're spoiled curdled cream on it
Literally every time I talk about the black coffee problem, assholes show up to deny
You're actually advancing the idea that I'm creating problems here? I ordered a fucking black coffee and I got a cream coffee with curdled cream on it
Honest to God there's something wrong with your brain
klugerama@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 43d
If everyone you interact with is an asshole, there's a pretty strong case to be made that they're not the problem.
Reminds me of the joke about the old lady that called her husband. "Be careful, I just saw on the news that some idiot is going the wrong way on the freeway!" Husband: "It's not just one, there's hundreds of 'em!"
With that in mind, that might not actually be cream.
Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 43d
You bring up a generic boomer fantasy that doesn't happen in the real world, using conservative boomer verbaige when you complain about it and people point out that it sounds fake? Say it isn't so!
I hope that this mild inconvenience is the worst thing that happens to you this week, and I'm sorry that you subjected yourself to anything that comes out of a McDonalds
cattywampas@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 43d
"Baristas don't know how to make extremely popular and simple drink" has always been a dumb take.
Lupus108@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 43d
Huh, where I'm from, when you order a simple coffee you'll always get it black and then there is a little station where you can add milk, sugar, creamer yourself and the lids are also at that station. You'll only get it 'pre mixed' when you order a coffee specialty like Latte or Cappuccino.
Also in my personal opinion, from a good espresso machine, percolator or even French press I like a black coffee once in a while, but drip filter coffee is only palatable with milk. Sometimes not even then.
shiftymccool@piefed.ca · 10 pts · 43d
Can I get a black coffee?
So, like, less sweet?
No, just black coffee
Any creamer?
No, just black coffee
Want me to save some space in the cup for your own creamer?
No, just fill my cup up all the way with black coffee
snek_boi@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 43d
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such frustrating experiences with coffee. I wonder if my experience could help you in navigating your experience.
When I order coffee I always see how they do it.
I don’t do it to complain. In fact, even if they get my order wrong I rarely ask for a change, because whatever they give me is usually alright.
I see how they do it because I’m curious. I like to know what their process is like. I like to know what machines they use. I like to know how they organize work in the coffee shop. I like to see their technique.
Because of this curiosity, I usually understand quite well why my coffee ends up the way it does.
Yes, I am a customer. Yes, I could insist that my drink has to be different. But I prefer to accept that life is unpredictable and that we are all human. And it’s usually alright.
Here’s a video that could help: https://youtu.be/OXbQx2hfA5k
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 43d
Life is alright if you accept entropy as a natural part of it.
It's not rolling with the punches, it's being happy with life making itself less monotonous.
I once accidentally got served an iced latte with macadamia nut milk instead of cow milk and discovered that I really like it.
PostProcess@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 43d
I'll always add ".... No creme or milk please" after asking for it black, I know it's the same thing twice but it twigs a 'could this guy have a milk allergy' thought now and again.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 43d
This problem seems to unique to you. What exact words did you use? I only drink black coffee, and in the decades I've ordered it from myriad coffeeshops, there has been a single time that I received a coffee with cream on it - and that was because I ordered a "regular" at Café Du Monde, which the menu clearly states is cafe au lait, so I quickly learned that it was entirely my own fault for not paying attention and not using amply descriptive words to communicate my desires.
M137@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 43d
This is 100% OP not actually saying they want black coffee or (which is my bet) they're such a POS that their order gets made wrong on purpose, probably with some unsavoury extras in it.
thesohoriots@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 43d
That cream is no doubt heavily interfered with
M137@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 43d
You need professional help, everything about this thread screams that.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 43d
I accidentally had dairy for the first time in years the other day for a similar reason. Local café. Ordered some tofu and a mocha with oat milk. Nothing else. Get my order, and the mocha has dairy whipped cream (the only kind they have). Nowhere on the menu does it say it comes with whipped cream. No one making it stopped and wondered "huh". I wasn't even with anybody to pawn it off onto. And sending it back means it just goes in the trash.
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose.
taiyang@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 43d
My wife orders oat milk for her cream top kind of drinks that have been trendy lately and they usually give her a warning. I think people are mom and pop cafes are a little more mindful of customers, though.
one_old_coder@piefed.social · 3 pts · 43d
Even "long coffee" is darker than this. I guess it's 25-33% coffee. Infuriating indeed.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 43d
Thats pus.
ccunning@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 43d
Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 43d
maybe try looking in the cup before leaving ..
or, don't be lazy and walk inside so you can again, fix the issue....
foofighter@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 43d
Problem I get is some places call it an Americano when us Aussies generally call it a long black. Same shit with cup sizes, it's maddening when you have to figure out how to order your usual at some place pretending to be more upmarket than they are
As others have said, just avoid McCafe like the plague find an actual coffee spot via recommendations from locals
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 43d
I mean, I have Starbucks right around the corner. They ask if I want cream or sugar, and how much. If I said nothing, they'd add nothing and hand me black coffee.
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 40d
have your tried loving yourself? Next you'll be telling us that you only drink decaf. "black coffee" Psh, honestly...
Krudler@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 38d
Get help
TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 38d
you first.
Krudler@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 38d
Get me a black coffee and then I will, I'll wait until Infinity time has elapsed
perishthethought@piefed.social · 1 pts · 43d
What's with all the negative comments, people? Lemmy / Piefed used to be such a welcoming place.
OP, I'm sorry you got your coffee order messed up. Hope you got it sorted.
isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 43d
Because OP is being a twat to minimum wage employees.
Getting the wrong order sucks, losing your shit over a wrong order shows poor emotional regulation. Also, "back talk" is code word to "I bark orders at people"
elephantium@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 43d
Really? When?
perishthethought@piefed.social · 1 pts · 43d
Looks like you've been here longer than me. In general hasn't this place been better then r*****? I want it to be, at least.
elephantium@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 43d
Oh, I get wanting it to be. But...IDK, reviewing my block list makes me question how friendly or welcoming you can really call the fediverse.
(I am pretty quick with the block button. I'm on lemmy in hopes of finding fun, interesting things to read or look at, not to get in flame wars. I sometimes even block people based on how much of a dick they were being to other commenters. Some people here are lovely. Some...not so much.)
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · -3 pts · 42d
If only there were some cheap and easy mechanism by which one could create coffee for themselves, crafting it exactly as they wish and saving money in the process. Oh well, time to go spend an hours’ salary on mediocrity!
Kolanaki@pawb.social · -10 pts · 43d
The McDonald's coffee machine does not have an option for black coffee. It always has cream in it. Go to a real coffee shop and not McDonald's. 🤦♂️
eager_eagle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 43d
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 43d
You're literally just lying.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · -2 pts · 43d
It's literally a latte machine and the one I work at only has buttons for the size of the drink you're making and the on/off switch. It mixes steamed milk into the coffee. That's what a latte is.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 43d
I've never seen a McDonald's that doesn't serve black coffee. Granted, I've only seen them in dozens of states and about a dozen different countries, but subjectively, I question your claim.