Last year, my marriage crumbled and I found myself living alone as a single person for the first time in 40 years. It was honestly pretty rough - this isn't how I ever imagined things would be.
But now? I'm actually fairly happy. I retired, so I really am a bit like this meme, except I enjoy meeting friends for lunch every week or so. I read a lot, play wow, and go for walks or jogs. I hang out with my geriatric cat more than anything. It's okay.
I actually enjoyed my job a lot. I was never the "lives for my work" type - if I didn't have to go in I was happy to stay home - but I didn't hate going in. And retiring came with a few misgivings, but I was at the same company for 40 years in different capacities and it was time.
It seems like they've made retirement harder and harder. I hope we figure out how to fix that by the time you get there.
If you hate going in, that's a definite thing to contemplate. And it really is true that the best time to look for a job is while you have a job. You can take your time with it, and aren't under pressure to take anything that doesn't seem truly better.
I very much appreciate the advice. Definitely do dread going in, I’m constantly bounced between bored out of my mind and insane sprints, partially because I’m competent and the way things are organized there’s no one really strongly pushing back against short deadlines on my team, but it’s also partially because we don’t get a choice often either due to data migrations or what not. I fear my motivation and talent will be crushed if I stay here too long. Unfortunately I also lack the perspective of a different job/environment to know what to appreciate about where I’m at.
It's good that you're being introspective. I'll say that the reasons I stayed with one company so long are:
Basically all the bosses I had were both kind and smart
I worked with a lot of brilliant people who kept my juices going
I felt like my skills were valued
The pay seemed reasonable (not amazing) for the work I did
I can see any of these things being a problem if they're lacking, but most people I know don't have all of them. You have to figure out what's most important to you, and what's a deal breaker. Early in you career is the time to try different environments if the current one is lacking - it gets harder to move later.
25 Comments
JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 35d
Living the life!
(Sobs)
TheFlopster@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 35d
I can't tell if this is supposed to be the pros or cons of being single. Maybe it's both, depending on the day, and your mood.
Signtist@bookwyr.me · 3 pts · 35d
One person's heaven is another person's hell. It's why utopias are a paradox.
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 35d
It’s true though. All I want is some goddamn peace and quiet.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 35d
Living that good social anxiety life 😎
Sarothazrom@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 35d
do whatever i like (watch anime with my cat)
see whoever i want (my cat)
go out with wherever i want (my apartment with my cat)
Viceversa@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 35d
What anime is your cat's favourite?
Sarothazrom@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 35d
she actually sat still for Ergo Proxy and genuinely watched the screen like 76% of the time. Apparently she likes goth girls? 😂
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 35d
Last year, my marriage crumbled and I found myself living alone as a single person for the first time in 40 years. It was honestly pretty rough - this isn't how I ever imagined things would be.
But now? I'm actually fairly happy. I retired, so I really am a bit like this meme, except I enjoy meeting friends for lunch every week or so. I read a lot, play wow, and go for walks or jogs. I hang out with my geriatric cat more than anything. It's okay.
galaxy_nova@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 34d
I long for retirement (I’ve just started my career)
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 34d
I actually enjoyed my job a lot. I was never the "lives for my work" type - if I didn't have to go in I was happy to stay home - but I didn't hate going in. And retiring came with a few misgivings, but I was at the same company for 40 years in different capacities and it was time.
It seems like they've made retirement harder and harder. I hope we figure out how to fix that by the time you get there.
galaxy_nova@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 34d
I hope so too, I guess we’ll see. Maybe I should get a new job.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 34d
If you hate going in, that's a definite thing to contemplate. And it really is true that the best time to look for a job is while you have a job. You can take your time with it, and aren't under pressure to take anything that doesn't seem truly better.
galaxy_nova@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 34d
I very much appreciate the advice. Definitely do dread going in, I’m constantly bounced between bored out of my mind and insane sprints, partially because I’m competent and the way things are organized there’s no one really strongly pushing back against short deadlines on my team, but it’s also partially because we don’t get a choice often either due to data migrations or what not. I fear my motivation and talent will be crushed if I stay here too long. Unfortunately I also lack the perspective of a different job/environment to know what to appreciate about where I’m at.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 34d
It's good that you're being introspective. I'll say that the reasons I stayed with one company so long are:
I can see any of these things being a problem if they're lacking, but most people I know don't have all of them. You have to figure out what's most important to you, and what's a deal breaker. Early in you career is the time to try different environments if the current one is lacking - it gets harder to move later.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 35d
Doing the same but married. And also no suit 😁
SourDragon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 35d
Yeah. I feel like I need to break some bad news to my spouse or something. "Babe, according to this post on Lemmy, we aren't married"
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 7 pts · 35d
I do these things because I am broke; not because I am single.
nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 34d
How does one find friends IRL, considering I don't use proprietary social media apps?
87Six@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 34d
Well this... Kinda hit too close to home
HeyJoe@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 34d
You got me at being single is awesome. You didn't have to keep selling it to me.
gressen@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 35d
And you still wear a suit (?)
Baggie@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 35d
You wear what you want (nothing)
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 35d
Ok, but is that Shannon Sharpe?
BlindPenguin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 35d