I had a really good friend in middle school who told me they had a crush on someone else, and I realized I had feelings when I felt sad about that. We were both music nerds and pretty inseparable at school. During summer vacation, we'd have these slumber parties where we played Pokemon and Maplestory together. We both realized we were bi around the same time, so it was nice to have another person to confide in about that, but we were only ever friends, and that was okay as I got over my crush pretty quick after realizing it wasn't reciprocated.
We eventually fell out of touch after high school and I found out a decade later she transitioned too, which wasn't at all surprising. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually bi, because the only "boy" who isn't a fictional character I ever had romantic feelings for was a girl the entire time lol. But I still remember those days and hope life's treating her okay.
Years ago, before I started HRT, I was very dysphoric and wore shapewear for my hips. I don't want to yuck anyone's yum (everyone's transition experience is different and wonderful), but in retrospect, I'm just embarrassed I ever did that. And now that my hips are that size naturally, it doesn't feel as much like a win as it could have, and I think I confused a lot of people. I worry that maybe some people who knew me during that era think I'm still padding.
When I started hormones, I didn't want breasts either, but now I love having them. I have tried at times to wear padding since I'm in the committee, but it just felt wrong for me. So for me, it wasn't that I didn't want breasts, but that I wanted my breasts to be my own.
It may or may not actually pan out, especially since there's a good chance that Valve will outlive Gabe Newell. And that's why it's really good get your games on GOG and Itch before resorting to Steam. But sometimes Steam's the only game in town, and I'm wishing for the best for my library.
Alas, that makes what makes flannels such a double-edged sword. It's an iconic sapphic aesthetic I see with other women, but then I put them on and I look way more butch than they do. Or maybe that's just dysphoria talking idk. 😅
If Steam ever shuts down, an old Reddit post had info about a customer experience message chain where a Valve representive said they had contingency plans if that ever happens.
If there's third-party DRM on top of the regular Steamworks DRM, the game you bought has much worse odds of actually working offline if Valve goes out of business or the devs abandon it. That's why I try to avoid Denuvo.
That being said, I've played Denuvo games on my system and any performance drops have been minimal at best. YMMV on that, but I'm a mid-end gamer at best. A certain athetic woman will provide alternative access to the game if you really want to skip Denuvo, but it should be fine.
But Denuvo is just silly and pointless. It sets out to be an anti-piracy measure, but it's not actually preventing games from being cracked at all. Game studios should prevent piracy by making a high-quality, consumer-friendly product. I would never pirate a GOG game, but I can't say the same for Ubisoft.
I want to gently pose a counterargument that hopefully doesn't lead to folks assuming I'm scolding them. Remember that we're free to disagree with each other and, in the grand scheme of the universe, comments posted on a forum don't really matter.
So, if a person posted a picture of themselves in two dresses and inviting the comparison, it's absolutely okay for someone to say "I like the one on the left." That's great! However, I believe the context changes when it's a post where a man posts two pictures of someone who is not himself, in this case a woman, and says she ought to present herself in a specific way. Similarly, I believe that a post screenshotting the man's post to have some sort of discussion about his expressed beliefs changes the context as well. Your argument about the dresses, therefore, feels like a false equivalence.
I believe it is 100% okay for either gender to respectfully express attraction to women in the right time and place. It did feel a bit out of place here for men to express a normative statement about this woman when the entire point of the post was criticizing men doing that. YMMV on which commenters were doing this versus simply expressing a non-normative preference, but I felt like one or two may have unintentionally reproduced a (much less extreme) version of what the Jeremy was saying in the meme. It's okay to have preferences, and if people want to talk about the types of women they're attracted to, there are many other posts and communities where it would make more sense. But hey, it's a free internet and I'm not the thought police. Just a girl expressing an opinion.
"I think she's attractive" or "I don't personally think she's attractive" = okay
"She looks like a fat cow" = not okay
I don't personally believe this is gender-specific, or subscribe to the idea that women are allowed to thirst over women publicly and men aren't, but we ought to all be on the same page that it's not okay to compare a woman to a cow, and so therefore no hypocrisy occurred. Just consider time and place, and be respectful, and it's fine.
Velma is calling out a concept she finds problematic and not any specific person, and others are over here calling her unintelligent, an "arrogant ass," and a "wokescold." And in the same breath, you're saying she's the one personally attacking people. I think you've contradicted your own argument by name-calling.
It's okay to disagree, but let's try to stay civil while we do that.
I remember my first few months of HRT really fondly. Not many physical changes in those early days, but lots of mental changes. For basically the first time in my life, I didn't have this perpetual internal state of anxiety. I just felt...calm. And just like your experience, there were tears too.
As one of the people stuck inside your computer, you are undeniably woman to me as well and I wish you all the best. :) It's a magical time.
Secret Little Haven has been sitting in my library unplayed for way too long. It kind of reminds me of Emily Is Away. I totally get what you mean about feeling nostalgic toward '90s and Y2K stuff despite never having lived it. I was technically born in the '90s, just way too late to remember most things.
The Speak From the Abyss is another trans-themed game that I've been looking forward to, but it's been in development for a few years now and I really hope it actually comes out, because it's extremely up my alley.
Happened two miles from where I live. I always thought my city was better than this, but I was wrong. I'm glad witnesses responded quickly and police did their job or this could have been worse. I'm sad that this happened at all.
Sphere Hunter, the Capcom video essayist, and Hazel, the anime YouTuber, were my two biggest voice goals.
I used to have cis voice influences, but then I started voice training and ended up realizing, no, I just want to sound like these two trans girls because their voices are perfect, not to mention way more attainable for me.
It's always wonderful to hear positive experiences with supportive parents. My dad has also been surprisingly great throughout my transition, much more so than any of my older family members. I don't think he's ever really misgendered me since I came out.
Which Linux distro did you set up for him? I'm partial to Fedora and Bazzite myself.
Happy to help, Miisha, and I'm glad to hear you two figured it out! :)
And I should've left it up. I have a tendency to write looong comments and in the moment I thought, hey, all this other advice is great too, and way more succinct lol.
You're super cute too and you've made so much progress in the past few months. Just imagine how things will be in five years!
Or a good leakproof tent and a super-comfy sleeping bag. Finding a nearby campsite while on vacation instead of a hotel for at least some of the days is so much fun, not to mention cost-saving.
I had a really good friend in middle school who told me they had a crush on someone else, and I realized I had feelings when I felt sad about that. We were both music nerds and pretty inseparable at school. During summer vacation, we'd have these slumber parties where we played Pokemon and Maplestory together. We both realized we were bi around the same time, so it was nice to have another person to confide in about that, but we were only ever friends, and that was okay as I got over my crush pretty quick after realizing it wasn't reciprocated.
We eventually fell out of touch after high school and I found out a decade later she transitioned too, which wasn't at all surprising. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually bi, because the only "boy" who isn't a fictional character I ever had romantic feelings for was a girl the entire time lol. But I still remember those days and hope life's treating her okay.
If it's general sad times, I go outside to my favorite nature spot and watch the grass and the trees sway in the breeze, and just think about life.
If it's body image sad times, I make a redonkulous veggie burger, microdose a THC drink, and watch a comfort show, usually Broad City.
This is very relatable.
Years ago, before I started HRT, I was very dysphoric and wore shapewear for my hips. I don't want to yuck anyone's yum (everyone's transition experience is different and wonderful), but in retrospect, I'm just embarrassed I ever did that. And now that my hips are that size naturally, it doesn't feel as much like a win as it could have, and I think I confused a lot of people. I worry that maybe some people who knew me during that era think I'm still padding.
When I started hormones, I didn't want breasts either, but now I love having them. I have tried at times to wear padding since I'm in the committee, but it just felt wrong for me. So for me, it wasn't that I didn't want breasts, but that I wanted my breasts to be my own.
It may or may not actually pan out, especially since there's a good chance that Valve will outlive Gabe Newell. And that's why it's really good get your games on GOG and Itch before resorting to Steam. But sometimes Steam's the only game in town, and I'm wishing for the best for my library.
Alas, that makes what makes flannels such a double-edged sword. It's an iconic sapphic aesthetic I see with other women, but then I put them on and I look way more butch than they do. Or maybe that's just dysphoria talking idk. 😅
But yes flannels are great for boymoding.
If Steam ever shuts down, an old Reddit post had info about a customer experience message chain where a Valve representive said they had contingency plans if that ever happens.
If there's third-party DRM on top of the regular Steamworks DRM, the game you bought has much worse odds of actually working offline if Valve goes out of business or the devs abandon it. That's why I try to avoid Denuvo.
That being said, I've played Denuvo games on my system and any performance drops have been minimal at best. YMMV on that, but I'm a mid-end gamer at best. A certain athetic woman will provide alternative access to the game if you really want to skip Denuvo, but it should be fine.
But Denuvo is just silly and pointless. It sets out to be an anti-piracy measure, but it's not actually preventing games from being cracked at all. Game studios should prevent piracy by making a high-quality, consumer-friendly product. I would never pirate a GOG game, but I can't say the same for Ubisoft.
I want to gently pose a counterargument that hopefully doesn't lead to folks assuming I'm scolding them. Remember that we're free to disagree with each other and, in the grand scheme of the universe, comments posted on a forum don't really matter.
So, if a person posted a picture of themselves in two dresses and inviting the comparison, it's absolutely okay for someone to say "I like the one on the left." That's great! However, I believe the context changes when it's a post where a man posts two pictures of someone who is not himself, in this case a woman, and says she ought to present herself in a specific way. Similarly, I believe that a post screenshotting the man's post to have some sort of discussion about his expressed beliefs changes the context as well. Your argument about the dresses, therefore, feels like a false equivalence.
I believe it is 100% okay for either gender to respectfully express attraction to women in the right time and place. It did feel a bit out of place here for men to express a normative statement about this woman when the entire point of the post was criticizing men doing that. YMMV on which commenters were doing this versus simply expressing a non-normative preference, but I felt like one or two may have unintentionally reproduced a (much less extreme) version of what the Jeremy was saying in the meme. It's okay to have preferences, and if people want to talk about the types of women they're attracted to, there are many other posts and communities where it would make more sense. But hey, it's a free internet and I'm not the thought police. Just a girl expressing an opinion.
"I think she's attractive" or "I don't personally think she's attractive" = okay "She looks like a fat cow" = not okay
I don't personally believe this is gender-specific, or subscribe to the idea that women are allowed to thirst over women publicly and men aren't, but we ought to all be on the same page that it's not okay to compare a woman to a cow, and so therefore no hypocrisy occurred. Just consider time and place, and be respectful, and it's fine.
Velma is calling out a concept she finds problematic and not any specific person, and others are over here calling her unintelligent, an "arrogant ass," and a "wokescold." And in the same breath, you're saying she's the one personally attacking people. I think you've contradicted your own argument by name-calling.
It's okay to disagree, but let's try to stay civil while we do that.
I remember my first few months of HRT really fondly. Not many physical changes in those early days, but lots of mental changes. For basically the first time in my life, I didn't have this perpetual internal state of anxiety. I just felt...calm. And just like your experience, there were tears too.
As one of the people stuck inside your computer, you are undeniably woman to me as well and I wish you all the best. :) It's a magical time.
Oh just wait until the multiple orgasms start happening lol.
Secret Little Haven has been sitting in my library unplayed for way too long. It kind of reminds me of Emily Is Away. I totally get what you mean about feeling nostalgic toward '90s and Y2K stuff despite never having lived it. I was technically born in the '90s, just way too late to remember most things.
The Speak From the Abyss is another trans-themed game that I've been looking forward to, but it's been in development for a few years now and I really hope it actually comes out, because it's extremely up my alley.
Happened two miles from where I live. I always thought my city was better than this, but I was wrong. I'm glad witnesses responded quickly and police did their job or this could have been worse. I'm sad that this happened at all.
Sphere Hunter, the Capcom video essayist, and Hazel, the anime YouTuber, were my two biggest voice goals.
I used to have cis voice influences, but then I started voice training and ended up realizing, no, I just want to sound like these two trans girls because their voices are perfect, not to mention way more attainable for me.
It's always wonderful to hear positive experiences with supportive parents. My dad has also been surprisingly great throughout my transition, much more so than any of my older family members. I don't think he's ever really misgendered me since I came out.
Which Linux distro did you set up for him? I'm partial to Fedora and Bazzite myself.
Welcome! You're super cool for joining Lemmy and this community. ＼(>_<)／
Someday I really hope I can get bottom surgery. But yes, there are so many tradeoffs and I'm worried that things would go wrong too. sigh
Happy to help, Miisha, and I'm glad to hear you two figured it out! :)
And I should've left it up. I have a tendency to write looong comments and in the moment I thought, hey, all this other advice is great too, and way more succinct lol.
You're super cute too and you've made so much progress in the past few months. Just imagine how things will be in five years!
Or a good leakproof tent and a super-comfy sleeping bag. Finding a nearby campsite while on vacation instead of a hotel for at least some of the days is so much fun, not to mention cost-saving.