Stop touching your stuff!

You can hang on to the penis of someone who's climbing.

I hate being on ladders, I'll stay down here with the penises.

Thanks for assuming it’s a handful

What if I make a penis ladder? Buncha dudes with raging hard boners standing on each other's shoulders. Two towers of this, with the tips touching.

I know it's shitposting, but even if we accept the idea that God would be interested by what you do with your own body when you're alone, isn't the whole point of the Bible that you don't have to climb to go to heaven, but accept God's grace?

I.don't understand evangelicalism.

So stop at every rung to jerk off. I’m not in a hurry.

What about two penises

Protip: you can climb perfectly well if said dicks are in your ass.

Wait, I have to climb all the way up there? No thanks. I'll rather stay down here and spank the monkey.

I was literally touching my penis when my eyes alit on this post.

My first thought was that this was an incredible coincidence, and worthy of remark, but now I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm subconsciously handling this thing more than I realize.

No!?! Watch me!!!!

I hoping to ascend and not to climb. I've gotta say, I'm worried that after a while god might not be able to do it. Like he gets me half way up and then I just kind slowly drop down to earth... And hes like all apologizing ... "Sorry, it's been a long day. This has never happened to me before. Maybe we can try again in the morning." So on and so on.

All the while knowing he was intimidated by me swinging around my rock hard cock yelling "Look mom! No hands!"

🎶 What's love but a second hand in motion. 🎶

Fuck that, I better at least get a damn elevator.

Sex gives you STI STOP SEX NOW

You say that, but what about St. Paul who is definitely in heaven and was a pathological gooner

I can sure send the guy to heaven though...

Unless you're climbing a penis ladder

Even if I have a Jacob's ladder?

Plot twist. The ladder is made of penises.

I mean, wouldn't you have fairly strong grip strength with a lot of "practice?"

Touching your penis IS heaven.

Hey who said I had to have my hands full of my own penis? I don't need to touch it to masturbate, and I've touched plenty of other guy's penises. Is my "ladder to heaven" just going to be made out of every guy I slept with? Seems a bit sexist.

No... I like touching myself way too much

I didn't think we were supposed to climb to heaven. Isn't that what the tower of Babel was about?

"Hands full of penis" is a great title.

Mrs. Jane "Hands full of penis" Smith

or

Mr. Samuel "Hands full of penis" Finch

Hetero women, bisexuals and gay guys might just... Stop at that level and stay for a bit.

I'm going to keep climbing until the ladder turns into titties.

I love this image.

Pennies*

I mean, I only really need one hand to climb.

Maybe not to heaven but you might get close?

Fuck you. I'm waiting for the shuttle anyway.

Oooohhhh, I get it now, it's because you can't climb a normal leader with a raging boner, or at least it's unsafe since you break every step as you drag along.

But as others have pointed out, a leader made of dicks doesn't have that problem since they snap back into place.

God must be a great engineer.

LOL. Must learn to think before I speak/post. So hard.

Thank god ❤️

Username checks out.

Hell, I just slang it over mah shoulder!

me, who's played Getting Over It:

Level up, try using your mouth instead

Video proof that’s not true

https://youtu.be/uKNX5xH4fyU