I mean...

790 points · 112 comments · view on lemmy.world

112 Comments

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 203 pts · 1y (8 replies)

Ah damn it's one of those single-use knives.

sirico@feddit.uk · 52 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Cross contamination there's a girl there you'll get girl germs

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Not if they get me germs first

SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y

Thank you for your service and sacrifice, brave little Hitachi wand.

taiyang@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 1y (2 replies)

That's why you get the knife subscription plan.

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

Yeah fuck buying things for life - I am now buying things for death

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 1y

Don't give them any more ideas.

semperverus@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Only if you didn't bring extra knife ammo

Natanael@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 1y

It's one of those shivs from the last of us

waigl@lemmy.world · 118 pts · 1y (8 replies)

Non-murder solution:

Place and hold the apples precisely on top of one another. (Make sure your fingers are not in the way.) From one side of the apple tower, go horizontally exactly two thirds of the way to the other side. At that position, cut vertically through both apples from top to bottom. You now have two pieces that are two thirds of an apple each, and two pieces that are one third each. The kid you like best will receive the end slices without the apple core in it.

More realistically, disregard the stupid premise and make as many cuts as you need.

FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 1y (3 replies)

The knife looks long enough you could probably cut 1/3 of each apple while they are placed side by side, which might be easier and safer to cut than stacking the apples.

errer@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y

That seems more possible than turning the knife 90 degrees mid-cut

ryannathans@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1y

Bingo

Sc00ter@lemm.ee · 0 pts · 1y

Yall just cut straight down with your knives? You dont angle the blade and slide it ?

user224@lemmy.sdf.org · 19 pts · 1y

Take both apples and attach them to a drill. Position the knife on apples so that it starts slicing a long slice as they rotate and run the drill. You'll end up with a long piece of 2 apples and 2 cores. Keep the long peels, give each core to each one of those peasants.

WolfLink@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y

Apple’s aren’t square so it’s not so easy to figure out where to cut that will give you a 1/3 - 2/3 split.

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1y

If the knife is long enough, you could simply line the apples up and do that.

Nariom@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
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fargeol@lemmy.world · 88 pts · 1y (2 replies)

anas@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Luigi says [ Removed by Reddit ]

Wilco@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y

Luigi says: Just imagine one of the others is a Healthcare insurance CEO, you know what to do.

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 71 pts · 1y (19 replies)

I will be the cpt obv

1/3 1/3

<=======]==o

2/3 2/3

idunnololz@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y (18 replies)

Ok but like how do you know it's 1/3 of the apple without any other tools.

blarth@thelemmy.club · 14 pts · 1y (7 replies)

Let’s not go too deep on this alright

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1y (6 replies)
tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 1y

if the cake is a 1-dimensional interval ....
The Stromquist moving-knives procedure uses four simultaneously-moving knives....

Consider a spherical cow perched above a black hole, facing the sunset....

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y (4 replies)

I did not expect to see this today

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1y (3 replies)

To put that in perspective, for 2 people that would be ~4.3 billion

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y (2 replies)

alright we better get started then

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 1 pts · 1y

It's just the upper bound. I have no idea what the process is lol.

ghen@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Cut first, choose last. It's as fair as you can get when eyeballing it

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1y

Only works with two people. For three you use Selfridge-Conway procedure which uses up to five cuts.

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 8 pts · 1y (4 replies)

What's funny is that you've actually stumbled onto an entire problem that's studied quite heavily. I remembered a Numberphile video about this. The problem is called "envy-free cake splitting". It's pretty straightforward. A split is envy-free if no one believes someone else got more than them. For three people this was figured out in 1960 and you can read about it here. It has been solved for N participants as well and you can read about the general problem here.

For two people, it's obvious. One splits and one chooses. The first person is incentivized to make it even because they don't know which they'll get.

I was going to give a summary of the process for three people but it's too much to explain succinctly. Just check the article I posted lol.

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y (3 replies)

How is it obvious for two people, what if I have horrible manual dexterity and despite my best efforts, I slice the cake like 1/3 and 2/3, and the other person picks the bigger piece? I would very much envy the other piece

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Your "cut" would not be complete until you believe you've made them 50/50.

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

here we go infinite cuts

Krauerking@lemy.lol · 0 pts · 1y

Then have them cut and you choose. Easy. Now they envy your piece and having better dexterity as well.

Insert Thanos balanced meme here.

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

it is a magical long sword of apple slicing (+5 damage and THAC0 against apples, +1 otherwise)

fargeol@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

You don't, you only know it's possible to do so thanks to the Ham sandwich theorem

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 1 pts · 1y
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dwindling7373@feddit.it · 51 pts · 1y (4 replies)

What I find particoularly annoying and interesting, is that most of those "silly/dumb" social network questions are engineered with at least 2, sometimes more layers, for the purpose of getting a reaction not really from the "dumb people" but also, possibly mostly, from the smartass that can't help point out something they think they noticed, incongruity and the likes, unaware that those are there on purpose to bait them in.

This case is a lot more blatant, possibly fake, but the "controversial" interpretation of stabbing one of the children is not an afterthoughts of the sick mind of us memers terminally online, it's probably the core reason the thing has been shared and worded that way.

I just hope my own reaction has not been 100% predicted.

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 1y (2 replies)

With no snark intended I'm pretty sure thatsthejoke.jpg.

TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee · 12 pts · 1y (1 reply)

no. the meme was created to make you think of stabbing people, with engagement bait paired in. op adds the awkward puppet meme, as if it's a novel idea, but thatsthejoke.xls

the above commenter is pointing out how this kind of engagement just falls for the engagement bait, and describes the type of person who would do so

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 1y

Ah fair!

Klear@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y

Oh god, you reminded me of those "memes" that are just someone on Twitter getting simple math wrong. Reddit was full of that crap and it seems it hasn't quite reached Lemmy yet, but it might.

PoPoP@lemm.ee · 47 pts · 1y (11 replies)

Line em up and cut a third off both apples in one go? Everyone gets 2/3? Seems simple right? Consider the core. I don't think it's possible if you consider the core. You have to kill one of your friends.

You have to kill one of your friends.

You have to kill one of your friends.

Choose which one of your friends to kill.

Reach for the knife before someone else does.

You have to kill one of your friends.

NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Or you could sacrifice yourself, you murderous bastard.

PoPoP@lemm.ee · 9 pts · 1y

But then I would be dead.

Maxxie@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Rotate each apple 90 degrees so that core is parallel to the ground and perpendicular to the knife, now its split equally

If more than one person hates the stem part then yea it's murder time

aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 1y (3 replies)

The core isn't evenly distributed along the axis though, it's like a small thingy in the center. Definitely murder time

Arrkk@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (1 reply)

This is actually the sandwich problem, which states there is exactly one slice that will split a sandwich of 3 elements into exactly 2 halves regardless of the shape or position of those elements. We don't need the full proof, but the problem is continuous, so any desired ratio is possible, therefore you will always be able to slice an apple into exactly 1/3 and 2/3rds "good bits", so a single slice will always be able to do the job.

aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y

I still struggle to visualize it. If we have two concentric spheres (or circles), how can you make a cut that slices both into ratios of 2/3 by volume/area?

jumping_redditor@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y

diagonals

bss03@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 1y

Michael: See, the trolley problem forces you to choose between two versions of letting other people die. And the actual solution is very simple. Sacrifice yourself.

-- The Good Place

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1y

bampop@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Killing one of your friends might not be the optimal solution.

But one of your friends might think it is.

5too@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Cut 1/3 up from the top or bottom?

(the apples! Cut the apples!)

Omnipitaph@reddthat.com · 25 pts · 1y (2 replies)

If you have one guy draw the knife over a long surface and distance, the other two can use that one slicing motion to cut the apples any number of times.

ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!

Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y

ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!

Like shaving with an old razor blade.

Ashiette@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

I got 99 cuts, but a stroke ain't one

CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de · 22 pts · 1y

That's socialist propaganda! You see, you cut both apples in half with one cut, everyone gets half an apple and the remaining half is given to someone who struggles affording life.

(/s)

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 22 pts · 1y (1 reply)

My solution is cut both apples in half, and take two halves, because I am more equal than others.

therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 1y

Some animals are more equal than others...

NutWrench@lemmy.ml · 17 pts · 1y

Cut both apples into 10 slices each. And then, the richest person takes 18 slices. Because that's how capitalism works, baby.

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Kill one person?

prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

If your stroke is good enough you don’t have to share the two apples with anyone.

Natanael@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 1y

There are multiple kinds of strokes which will ensure you don't have to share (including a medical one that removes you)

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 1y

Bold of you to assume I'm not going to go Voorhees on both of them, have an apple as desert and save the second apple for later.

Obviously, I'm not going to eat the other two people. Without cooking them. And with the apple cores, I can make a lovely sauce to go with

humanspiral@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 1y (7 replies)

shouldn't be that hard, but I understand that 94% can't do it.

line up the apples, a line that will cut the first apple into 2/3 vs 1/3 will also cut the next apple in same proportion. 1 person gets the 2 sliced 1/3s

tetris11@feddit.uk · 14 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Stack the apples on top of each other, and proceed to do a single spiral cut down from the top stem, out towards the edge, and then back to the center in a single fluid motion. It won't solve the problem, but it'll look damn cool

Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Let's assume you can stack the apples, and passing through both is still 1 stroke. That means cutting through 10 could still be considered 1 stroke.

Stack the apples.

Cut entirely through the top one directly in half.

Continue cutting through the second one.

As you cut through it, one of the people takes the top apple, rotates it 60 degrees, and puts it under the bottom apple.

Finish cutting through the now top apple and continue cutting through the now bottom apple (the original top that was already in half).

Repeat this until you've cut each into 6 pieces like this (picture not mathematically accurate, for visual purposes only).

Give everyone 4 each.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 1y

nice!

postmateDumbass@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Actually, if you can peel them both with o e stroke, you cwn make apple sauce and serve eqaul portions quite easily.

postmateDumbass@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

You forgot about the cores.

Cores are non edible volume so you probably need to cut closer to 68-70%.

MajesticElevator@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1y

Damn you ruined it

BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y

Apples are not homogenous, the underlying requirement when asking for "equal share" is that no one is dissatisfied with his/her share, or envy someone else's share. The solution is a dynamic process :

After explaining it clearly to everyone, hover the knife above the left of the first apple as if you were going to cut it through but without doing it, move the knife slowly to the right until one of the three participants says he is happy with that share, cut the apple at that point and that participant gets that share. Then do the same with the second apple and the remaining unserved participants. Whoever doesn't have anything after that gets the remaining two slices.

Since everyone "could have" spoke earlierto get a share, everyone has a share that they consider the best in their frame of reference and everyone is satisfied.

This solution also works with more than three participants

Edit: I just now realised the goal was to do it in a single cut

LordKitsuna@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y

Just cut them right down the middle. Four slices each person takes one and the last is left to rot. It says share equally not share the entire apple

scheep@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (2 replies)
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bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Last half for the painter of this picture.

scheep@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
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LordOfLocksley@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y (9 replies)

I guess the answer they are going for is slice the apples straight through, horizontally, 1/3 the way up from the bottom, so you have 2/3, 1/3, 2/3, and 1/3 apple portions. Then you give 1 person the 2 1/3 portions, and the other 2 get one of the 2/3 portions each.

But we all know the actual answer people are thinking of

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 1y (8 replies)

You can cut them just like they are on the table - lop off the outer 1/3 of both the two as they sit. Two people each get 2/3 of an apple including the core, and one person gets two 1/3 apple slices.

But yes, it wants you to suggest killing one of the kids for sure. :)

LordOfLocksley@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y (7 replies)

But that wouldn't be one stroke would it? Unless I'm imagining it wrong.

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 1y (6 replies)

Please forgive my crude approximation of an overhead view of the apples and knife.😁

Edited to add the stem area of the apples for greater clarity.

LordOfLocksley@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y (3 replies)

You have a lovely pair of.... apples

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Although I now see it too, I assure you with absolute sincerity that I really was trying to create an overhead view of two apples being sliced with one stroke.

FelixCress@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Of course you were 😉

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 1y

LOL I know further assurances will just look even worse so I'll stop here. 😂

Lightsong@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

octopus_ink@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 1y

😂🤣

SabinStargem@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 1y

Just eat out the apples together, ignoring the knife. Just take a bite and pass the apple to the next person, repeating the process until there is just a core. Not very sanitary, but mission accomplished.

baines@lemmy.cafe · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

you have the knife, ‘equally’ means you get all the apples

Ghostwurm@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y
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Gladaed@feddit.org · 6 pts · 1y (3 replies)

This is impossible as the apples aren't homogeneous. Otherwise: have one person slide each apple across the knife until they feel their side is fair. The slice and pick. This does not work here as there are more than two people.

taiyang@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

I mean, while we're being pedantic, you can never cut exactly 2/3 an apple for everyone, down to the atoms. Even with homogeneous apples.

JackbyDev@programming.dev · 1 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Ah, but it does work for three if you allow up to five cuts. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfridge%E2%80%93Conway_procedure

Gladaed@feddit.org · 1 pts · 1y

We explicitly don't.

Smoogs@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

Because the 6% are psychopaths capable of murder. I thought it was closer to 3% of the population though

aiden@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 1y (2 replies)

cut one in half. then take turns each taking an equally sized bite

Etterra@discuss.online · 3 pts · 1y

If you cut one in half then the two survivors get one whole apple each.

lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y

Bite bite pass

collapse_already@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 1y (4 replies)

And you have one less rival for getting a girlfriend.

chatroom@lemm.ee · 11 pts · 1y (3 replies)
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Hupf@feddit.org · 17 pts · 1y (2 replies)
medgremlin@midwest.social · 5 pts · 1y

As a nerdy gal on the Internet, I envy Joanna.

MrAlternateTape@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 1y

That made me laugh, thanks!

AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 4 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Is 6% a cited estimate of the number of psychopaths in a population?

webghost0101@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Only 6% solved the puzzle in the very obvious correct way.

Its the other 94% of people that are subconsciously fully distracted by the opportunity to do violence to see the clear solution that you should be worried about.

Krauerking@lemy.lol · 0 pts · 1y

Yeah that's what I was gonna say. I think 90% of people could solve this just fine but only 6% are solving it without thinking of stabbing a person to solve a non issue of non-existent scarcity.

I'm leaving room for 10% to starve to death or cut themselves with the knife by accident.

some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 1y

I'd rather eat an orange. Apple skin gets stuck in my teeth.

dutchkimble@lemy.lol · 3 pts · 1y

Commit harakiri obviously

desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1y

slice the center child across the neck to prevent them from eating any, making there be one whole apple for each of the remaining children.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1y

Comments full of people earnestly trying to solve the problem without breaking the law lol

ulterno@programming.dev · 2 pts · 1y

I get the apple with the leaf for solving the puzzle.

backgroundcow@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Crush both apples with the blunt side of the knife. Divide applesauce equally.

FiskFisk33@startrek.website · 1 pts · 1y

4.5% of the population are psychopaths. 1.4% have a degree in maths.

coincidence?

heyWhatsay@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 1y

This is how the hunger games started

this@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 1y
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