40 dollars? That's all? I'm salaried and can work any hours I want to, so I guess I'm logging in at work and writing a few lines of code or answering some emails.
Twenty minutes will do it. Probably round it up to half an hour just to be safe. And honestly, if I get into the zone, an hour will fly by, easy.
Good old-fashioned robbery. Then when charged argue a defense of necessity.
To make such a defense, you have to show that the harm you sought to avoid exceeds the harmed caused by the crime you admit to performing. Robbing $40 from a random store obviously meets this threshold if the alternative is multiple people dying.
There are many cases where you can't argue a defense of necessity. For example, if someone threatens to kill your family unless you kill some other person, you can't argue a defense of necessity at your murder trial. You can't sacrifice one life to save another. But if the crime you commit is obviously orders of magnitude less destructive than the alternative? Then yes, simply robbing a store for $40 to prevent multiple deaths could easily be argued as a necessity.
Hell, even if you're not able to make that defense; it's 40 bucks. What are the odds I'll face anything other than probation for such a minor crime?
It's the obvious answer, but sometimes the simplest answers are best. If I simply have to make 40 dollars within the next 3 hours, or people die? Yeah I'm just straight-up robbing somewhere.
Even if I didn't make that at my normal job, or it was non-business hours when I can't just go to work for money, I feel like $40 in 3 hours is pretty doable with just gig work (grocery/restaurant delivery, Uber).
Overestimating how easy it is. Even before FOSTA-SESTA, you’d have to learn the lingo and figure out where your audience is. If you’re a cis dude, there’s a lot of cis dudes willing to suck or whatever for free. There’s also like literally nothing stopping them from not paying you - obviously you should take the money up front, but you go through all that effort, meet the guy and he says “oh I actually don’t have any money but don’t you like me enough to do it for free? 🥺” and in the best case scenario you just don’t get raped.
If they could pick up the desperation (and you’re desperate because of the exploding family thing), they’d probably pressure you into not making them wear a condom.
Not American, no worries. We ultimately went with the Scandinavian model here so it's not even illegal to sell.
you’d have to learn the lingo and figure out where your audience is
That could be tough. I'd probably try some of the dudes that have already hit on me first.
$40 isn't too much and maybe I could play up the inexperienced actually straight fetish thing.
If they could pick up the desperation (and you’re desperate because of the exploding family thing), they’d probably pressure you into not making them wear a condom.
Not a deal breaker, TBH. Worst case I get AIDS and have to take pills for it for the rest of my life. My next best option in such a short period is an armed robbery I'll definitely get caught for. Maybe burglary if I can find someone who keeps cash.
How exactly do you define making money though? I already have more than $40 could I purchase a product worth more than $40 and then return it? Could I steal $40 from somebody and then give it back once my family is no longer going to explode? Could I explain that my family is going to explode and politely request the money in hopes that someone believes me? How long do I need to retain the money? What if I just take something I own to a pawn shop? What if I gamble and I lose $50 and then later I make $40, I'm $10 down but technically I made $40 in the last transaction, have I satisfied the requirement?
Tell my family they have a new problem to deal with.
Maybe walk down to the pier and play a guitar with an open case. I could probably get more than $40 from scrap copper. I could maybe talk a used car lot into letting me clear some headlights for twice that much. Hawking some expensive junk on Craig's list might also work. Pawn some tools.
Grab all the canned stuff I made at home, and either just ask my mother to buy all them for 40 (a family member can pay me, right?) or convince the family friend who loves the candied jalapeños to buy them.
Unless you mean my net worth has to go up $40? In which case, I'll probably look for someone who would be willing to pay me $40 ahead of time to teach them some machine learning over some negotiable span of time. Or to build a website or something. There are lots of businesses in the area that could use it, and $40 is insanely cheap for something like that.
That's possible at most jobs here, so family is safe. If you mean outside of work, I'm a lady so could probably find & turn a trick in that amount of time, sure husband would even set it up rather than exploding, he has a friend who works with rich guys. Could make that with plenty to spare, I'd guess.
74 Comments
logicbomb@lemmy.world · 89 pts · 330d
I would just ask my brother to give me $40. I think he would probably do that to avoid exploding.
NeatNit@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 330d
This is the winner in my book
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 330d
Damn that sucks, all y'all unemployed?
I open my laptop and answer about six emails.
garbagebagel@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 330d
You can answer SIX whole emails in three hours?
damn that's like a full day for me.
Reverendender@sh.itjust.works · 26 pts · 330d
Y’all are answering emails?!
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 330d
Bruh I answer faxes and letters, and I actually prefer that.
chonkyninja@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 330d
That usually a month for me. I don’t respond unless it’s something important.
Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org · 6 pts · 330d
Practise harder!
TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website · 45 pts · 330d
Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 33 pts · 330d
Um...my job?
victorz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 329d
Right? 3 hours is $288. Any other families that need not exploding?
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 330d
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wabkwFEqNM
CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 330d
Sit on my ass. Maybe play a video game.
Fuckers.
Somelad@thelemmy.club · 18 pts · 330d
How you were moving in your loving family
shyguyblue@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 330d
"loving family"
Oh honey...
Breezy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 330d
But step bro...
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 26 pts · 330d
I could suck one dick and have $60 to get my family dinner after their ordeal.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 330d
You guys are getting paid?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 330d
Hell of an hourly rate, unless you're wildly attentive.
datavoid@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 330d
$33 an hour is a lot? I'm not up on the dick sucking market, but that seems like a good deal.
hperrin@lemmy.ca · 24 pts · 329d
Sell my shirt to my dad for $40. I’m pretty sure he’d rather buy my shirt than explode.
kescusay@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 330d
40 dollars? That's all? I'm salaried and can work any hours I want to, so I guess I'm logging in at work and writing a few lines of code or answering some emails.
Twenty minutes will do it. Probably round it up to half an hour just to be safe. And honestly, if I get into the zone, an hour will fly by, easy.
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 2 pts · 329d
Sorry family. I got into the flow at work. Oops about that.
Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 330d
Go to work for an hour
Take my bottles to the depot
Ask a buddy to spot me 40
Sell a couple things
… check my bank account?
$40 isn’t that much money…
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 330d
Explain the situation to my family and sell them stuff.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 330d
I just hope they can scrounge up the $10,000 between them.
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz · 16 pts · 330d
Go to a cash dispenser
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 330d
Can you grab some for me, too, while you're there?
9point6@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 330d
So $13.33/h?
That's less than £10 which I believe would be below minimum wage in my country, so basically any job would do it
Humanius@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 330d
Assuming you get your paycheck either weekly or monthly, you won't have $40 after 3 hours through, even if you did $40 worth of work.
Mac@mander.xyz · 10 pts · 330d
Doesn't say you have to acquire it personally.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 330d
what about "make" as in "create"
everyone's family explodes in this thread
prex@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 330d
Break out the crayons.
CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 329d
Or the HP ink-jet and hope your print heads don't need cleaning (they do).
jaredt@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 330d
Start suckin and fuckin 🫡
WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 330d
Good old-fashioned robbery. Then when charged argue a defense of necessity.
To make such a defense, you have to show that the harm you sought to avoid exceeds the harmed caused by the crime you admit to performing. Robbing $40 from a random store obviously meets this threshold if the alternative is multiple people dying.
There are many cases where you can't argue a defense of necessity. For example, if someone threatens to kill your family unless you kill some other person, you can't argue a defense of necessity at your murder trial. You can't sacrifice one life to save another. But if the crime you commit is obviously orders of magnitude less destructive than the alternative? Then yes, simply robbing a store for $40 to prevent multiple deaths could easily be argued as a necessity.
Hell, even if you're not able to make that defense; it's 40 bucks. What are the odds I'll face anything other than probation for such a minor crime?
It's the obvious answer, but sometimes the simplest answers are best. If I simply have to make 40 dollars within the next 3 hours, or people die? Yeah I'm just straight-up robbing somewhere.
cowfodder@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 330d
Work one hour at my job.
Nemo@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 330d
Just pick up a shift at work.
Rentlar@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 330d
I ask my best friend for $40.
swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 330d
Donating plasma only takes about an hour
Brosplosion@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 330d
Depends how you define "make"
If standard pay from job is too late, then I'd sell a CSP or CC from my brokerage account and I technically "made" the premium
If that's not urgent enough, take some jewelry to a pawn shop and hock it
SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one · 10 pts · 329d
I make that in an hour of work. So... keep doing what I'm doing?
exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 329d
Even if I didn't make that at my normal job, or it was non-business hours when I can't just go to work for money, I feel like $40 in 3 hours is pretty doable with just gig work (grocery/restaurant delivery, Uber).
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 329d
Ask my friends to transfer money real quick.
RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 330d
Can't I just take $40 out of my wallet?
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 330d
Hop on the Uber hamster wheel again. And again. And again.
Mac@mander.xyz · 7 pts · 330d
I scroll on my phone for a bit and call it a day.
CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 7 pts · 329d
Time to get into sex work.
I don't have anything I could sell that quickly, even.
thatradomguy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 329d
Was my first thought tbh.
jobbies@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 329d
Well a beej is a beej. Some people ain't picky.
CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 329d
Gay dudes are really into me, even. I'm like a classic bear.
andros_rex@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 329d
Overestimating how easy it is. Even before FOSTA-SESTA, you’d have to learn the lingo and figure out where your audience is. If you’re a cis dude, there’s a lot of cis dudes willing to suck or whatever for free. There’s also like literally nothing stopping them from not paying you - obviously you should take the money up front, but you go through all that effort, meet the guy and he says “oh I actually don’t have any money but don’t you like me enough to do it for free? 🥺” and in the best case scenario you just don’t get raped.
If they could pick up the desperation (and you’re desperate because of the exploding family thing), they’d probably pressure you into not making them wear a condom.
CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 329d
Not American, no worries. We ultimately went with the Scandinavian model here so it's not even illegal to sell.
That could be tough. I'd probably try some of the dudes that have already hit on me first.
$40 isn't too much and maybe I could play up the inexperienced actually straight fetish thing.
Not a deal breaker, TBH. Worst case I get AIDS and have to take pills for it for the rest of my life. My next best option in such a short period is an armed robbery I'll definitely get caught for. Maybe burglary if I can find someone who keeps cash.
jordanlund@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 330d
Clock in at work. 34 minutes later I earn $40.
zxqwas@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 330d
Before or after tax?
Aeri@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 329d
How exactly do you define making money though? I already have more than $40 could I purchase a product worth more than $40 and then return it? Could I steal $40 from somebody and then give it back once my family is no longer going to explode? Could I explain that my family is going to explode and politely request the money in hopes that someone believes me? How long do I need to retain the money? What if I just take something I own to a pawn shop? What if I gamble and I lose $50 and then later I make $40, I'm $10 down but technically I made $40 in the last transaction, have I satisfied the requirement?
nullPointer@programming.dev · 6 pts · 330d
sell tickets to an explosive event. then just keep the money.
ethaver@kbin.earth · 6 pts · 330d
am I already scheduled for a shift? I make that hourly.
KingArnulf@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 329d
ScrambledEggs@lazysoci.al · 6 pts · 329d
Make exactly $39
jobbies@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 329d
I feel like this is a "straight" boys wet dream. Perfect 'no homo' excuse to suck a dick.
"I did it to save my family".
spittingimage@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 329d
Sell my car to the next person who walks by, I guess.
But I'll hint to them (family) strongly that I won't be selling two cars, so they need to get less explodey.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 329d
sell a joke to my family for $40.
j4k3@piefed.world · 4 pts · 330d
Tell my family they have a new problem to deal with.
Maybe walk down to the pier and play a guitar with an open case. I could probably get more than $40 from scrap copper. I could maybe talk a used car lot into letting me clear some headlights for twice that much. Hawking some expensive junk on Craig's list might also work. Pawn some tools.
snoons@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 330d
Rob a mcdonalds, only take $40. Explain myself after and pay it back.
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 329d
Run to the neighbours and try to sell some DVDs
shalafi@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 329d
Easy. Sell a gun on FB Marketplace for a ridiculously low asking price. It would sell faster than I would be banned.
glorkon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 329d
I work one hour and jerk off for the remaining two.
venusaur@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 330d
Sell Pokemon stupid cheap
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 330d
Grab all the canned stuff I made at home, and either just ask my mother to buy all them for 40 (a family member can pay me, right?) or convince the family friend who loves the candied jalapeños to buy them.
remon@ani.social · 2 pts · 330d
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 2 pts · 329d
Get a loan from the local loan shark.
Go to the roulette table at the casino. Bet it all on 32.
Lose my bet.
Go back to the local loan shark for $40.
Bet the $40 at the roulette table.
Lose.
Repeat until either I get the money to pay the loan shark and save my family. Or I gues it's RIP for my family and my kneecaps.
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 329d
I would go to work at my job and earn more than $40 just like I do every day.
Pandantic@midwest.social · 1 pts · 329d
Get laid, make money. I just need one.
howrar@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 329d
Sell some stocks I guess.
Unless you mean my net worth has to go up $40? In which case, I'll probably look for someone who would be willing to pay me $40 ahead of time to teach them some machine learning over some negotiable span of time. Or to build a website or something. There are lots of businesses in the area that could use it, and $40 is insanely cheap for something like that.
littletranspunk@lemmus.org · 1 pts · 326d
Define family first
RBWells@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 329d
That's possible at most jobs here, so family is safe. If you mean outside of work, I'm a lady so could probably find & turn a trick in that amount of time, sure husband would even set it up rather than exploding, he has a friend who works with rich guys. Could make that with plenty to spare, I'd guess.