cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/49262051
Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack "exploded all over him" and he "could smell the onions and mustard" on his uniform.
Neither side disputes that Sean Dunn, 37, did in fact lob obscenities and a deli-style sandwich at officers deployed by President Donald Trump to patrol the nation's capital in August. But Mr Dunn's lawyer argues it was not a criminal act.
The incident was captured on video and went viral, making Mr Dunn a symbol of opposition in Washington DC to Trump.
Government prosecutors initially tried to secure felony charges against Mr Dunn, but a grand jury declined to indict him. Prosecutors have instead charged him with a lower-level misdemeanour assault.
77 Comments
Protoknuckles@lemmy.world · 144 pts · 309d
Except, the sandwhich is shown still wrapped on the ground afterwards, so it didn't even explode.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 71 pts · 309d
A cop? Lying? I don't think thats legal. And cops are there to enforce the law.....therefore, cops good. Right?
......guys?
Oh come on. It's my first day on earth, and I'm not yet capable of critical thinking. Therefore, I can only say opinions based on nothing, and argue them as fact. If you argue back, I'll argue louder! Because as we all know, the loudest opinion is right! And who's louder than me? I'm an American! We're known for our being the only place on earth. And therefore everybody is right! Except for the people who argue with me. They're clearly wrong.
TOAST IS BETTER THAN BREAD!!!!
SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 309d
I like toast but I don't like making toast. I'd like to buy a loaf of toast so then I can just warm it up in the microwave.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 1 pts · 309d
I airfry toast
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 309d
Oh, look at mr fancy pants! With his "air" he can afford to fry! Must be nice to afford all that air...
Bo7a@piefed.ca · 7 pts · 309d
Heck you, buddy!
Or something...
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 309d
Heck me??? Fudge to you!
Protoknuckles@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 309d
Ok, I was with you until the end. Are you implying toast is inferior to bread!?
lurch@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 309d
clearly witchcraft
JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 91 pts · 309d
Exploded... And the grievous injury of...smelling like mustard and onions for a bit. Man, they are really trying to work that incident.
mkwt@lemmy.world · 90 pts · 309d
The video clearly showed an intact, wrapped sandwich on the ground after the incident. Nothing "exploded." The cop lied on the stand (surprise, surprise), and he got called out on it by the defense.
JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 309d
I'm just going to quit calling them any kind of law enforcement term. They are all just domestic terrorists at this point.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 309d
Correct.
Blackfeathr@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 309d
Always have been
JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 308d
I used to believe there were some decent people in law enforcement. I don't feel like that anymore.
aarch0x40@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 309d
I’m certainly glad the feds gave up on optics. This should hopefully make for an excellent dark comedy movie once it wraps up (if Sean is aquitted).
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz · 16 pts · 309d
I think it would make a good blackbox theater production with the interesting caveat that any theater putting it on has to give tickets out to people for free who agree to have a baguette lightly thrown at them.
athairmor@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 309d
Or, hide the bread under a random seat every showing and at the pivotal moment have everyone check under their seat. Whoever has it gets to throw it at the cop.
Penguin_1024@piefed.zip · 3 pts · 309d
But if I attend, am I allowed to grab the baguette and eat it?
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 309d
One of the iron laws of theater is that once a piece of bread touches you as an audience member, you own the bread.
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 49 pts · 309d
AND he's been teased by his coworkers! Oh, the pain and suffering he has had to endure because of this heinous assault by an antifa terrorist! Will it never end?!
Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io · 8 pts · 309d
I sure hope it won't end, ever.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 4 pts · 309d
I hope people call him Jared
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 309d
I’m sure his coworkers have meat sandwiches exploding at point blank range all the time, too.
Somebody get the luminol and check for fluids in their office…
HubertManne@piefed.social · 49 pts · 309d
its funny how these guys like to advertise like they are kickass then act like the biggest pussies.
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 309d
The party of family values and fiscal responsibility using any excuse to weaponize the law
Witchfire@lemmy.world · 48 pts · 309d
Will he ever recover
Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io · 13 pts · 309d
I understand Electroconvulsive Therapy is great for this sort of physical and emotional trauma.
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 309d
It's not clear. Doctors say it's hard to get these mustard stains out of the fabric with a regular wash cycle.
Apeman42@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 309d
Follow up report:
WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 309d
So send the protester the agent's dry cleaning bill and be done with it. Make them pay for a new uniform if the stain can't be removed. Simple enough. The fact this is a criminal matter is absurd.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 309d
Those uniforms are polyester and probably treated with enough teflon/stain block to keep a sharpie from being permanent.
I’ve worn similar hard uniforms (different color, same supplier, probably. There’s only like 3.) and mustard doesn’t take, even if you’re a dolt who lets it set in.
All that to say; there’s no need for him to do more than run it through a normal wash.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 33 pts · 309d
There was a time when a man would be ridiculed for bringing a complaint for getting hit by a sandwich.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 28 pts · 309d
what are the charges, throwing a succulent sandwich meal?
Almacca@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 309d
It was a truculent sandwich meal!
bhamlin@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 309d
Succulent? I thought it was subway...
Almacca@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 309d
mPony@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 308d
I'm totally hearing this in Zoidberg's voice
J92@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 309d
Man who signed up to a job to humiliate his fellow man, was himself humiliated. Demands justice.
Tit
DonkMagnum@lemy.lol · 26 pts · 309d
I hope this brave officer gets the counselling and support he needs to move on from this.
tpihkal@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 309d
FFS, at least SOMEONE here shows a little empathy.
DonkMagnum@lemy.lol · 10 pts · 309d
Keep your yellow* off of my thin blue line.
*yellow stands for both mustard and cowardice in my clever wordplay.
athairmor@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 309d
New car magnet: thin blue line flag with a smear of yellow.
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 309d
shoots dog
massacre@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 309d
Did he tear up while giving his harrowing testimony?
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 309d
He was seen pouting very hard
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 309d
At least he wasn't hit by gravy. Or he would be poutine
athairmor@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 309d
Only if he was Kurdish.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 309d
I would upvote you, but every time I see this fuckers pucker I want to kick his teeth in.
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 309d
Understandable, no worries!
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 309d
let me get this straight.
when a cop shoots pepper balls into a crowd, the citizens "walk into the path of" them and it's the citizens fault.
but when a citizen throws their sandwich into a crowd, it's not the cops fault for "walking into the path" of his sandwich?
🤔 something ain't right here...
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 309d
Obviously this kind lad was just feeding a helpless, hungy cop and tossed the sandwich too enthusiastically.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 22 pts · 309d
Oh yeah, it was an explosion, arms were ripped off and heads went flying... blood just squirted everywhere it... It was a mustard bath... Cue 1000 yard stare
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 309d
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 308d
He will round up into a ball crying at the Costco food court the rest of his life.
Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 21 pts · 309d
what's next? Your Honor, he gave me a stern look and hurt my feelings? Who's the snowflake here?
ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 309d
Heh I keep reading this guy's name as Liarmore, seems to be better suited to this pansy.
Reverendender@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 309d
Were there any survivors?!
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 309d
Clearly the agent has post-traumatic sandwich disorder, and it’s affecting his memory of the incident
paraphrand@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 309d
Did anyone end up eating it? Did a cop eat the evidence, is what I’m asking.
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 309d
Wasn’t a donut.
Though technically Subway’s bread is considered cake in Ireland due to the sugar content.
halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 309d
To be fair, that's because of a 1972 law that classifies bread as a staple food with extremely specific requirements. Namely that sugar content is no more than 2% of the flour content, above that is technically a cake legally.
Ignoring the fact that cakes usually have a sugar content of about 35%. The bread is nowhere near actually being cake, no one would actually mistake it for cake, and the courts only classify it that way because of those legal definitions.
mkwt@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 309d
Update: court adjourned for today with no verdict. Jury deliberations will resume tomorrow.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 309d
Donjuanme@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 309d
They're handling this the exact way they should be handling the clergy that was shot nearly point blank with a chemical weapon in Oakland. Except they aren't touching that at all and going full ham on a ham sandwich.
This protestor will probably be punished how that costly l cowardly "agent" should be, while the agent walks without a worry in his mind or a lesson learned, akin to how the protestor should feel.
halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 309d
Depends on what the jury decides. Did they manage to find 12 people that will consider a sandwich a weapon and completely discount the protest aspect and all current events?
Considering the prosecution doesn't get to pick the jury, and both sides decided on the jury via voir dire, I doubt it.
That dude is still gonna have to live with all the jokes about him being a little bitch overreacting to a sandwich. His buddies will never let him love that down regardless of the verdict. And that gives me a tiny spark of happiness in these dark times.
Zak@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 308d
They don't have to. Here are model jury instructions for the charge, which include:
Notably, there's no requirement that a weapon is used or physical injury is caused. Reading the statute, the fact that there was physical contact elevates it to a felony even without a weapon or injury, but it isn't charged as a felony here because the grand jury refused to indict.
I hope that the jury finds him not guilty, but if they do it's jury nullification, not that his actions didn't technically violate the statute.
TheHighRoad@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 308d
"Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack "exploded all over him" and he "could smell the onions and mustard" on his uniform."
Are we ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN this is not The Onion? Hard to say based on the smell.
notsure@fedia.io · 12 pts · 309d
...every moment of this trial is exciting!..will the riddler show up next and ask an unanswerable question?..
yggstyle@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 308d
Let's be honest, the only reason he was upset is he didn't get to eat it.
Totally unrelated: it'd be a real shame if people talked about jury nullification more eh?
shalafi@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 309d
Haven't seen anyone address this yet, but surely the prosecution didn't coach him to testify thusly. I mean, JFC, that testimony can only make their case look weak. And we have video proving the witness is lying!
Instead of trying to demonstrate harm, they should be leaning into "this was battery and the charge does not provide for a level of harm to have occurred". (Don't know if this is true in DC. Also, maybe assault is the same as battery in that jurisdiction?) If they really want to take the "harm" tack, have the pig go on about emotional distress, "It was humiliating and my fellow officers make fun of me every day. They call me 'onions'." 😿
Jurors are given strict instructions that they must judge the case as to whether the exact charge is valid according to the exact wording of the law, no feels. They really hammer that in even before you're chosen.
I think the defendant loses if the jury is strict enough, but given that two grand juries refused to indict, I have a good feeling they let this guy slide.
letsgo2themall@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 308d
big strong cop brought down by a sandwich. He would have really been hurt if someone had thrown a hard roll at him.
toiletobserver@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 309d
Oh the humanity!
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 8 pts · 308d
Ok I feel we’re not getting crucial information here. Just onions and mustard? Is that a thing? And if so what kind of mustard?
Stop burying the lead!
DERRALEXANO@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 309d
crazed antifa leftist armed with explosive ordnance !!
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 309d
EXPLODED? How many casualties?? Someone think of the overgrown children cosplaying as cops 😪
redwattlebird@lemmings.world · 5 pts · 309d
Pretty rotten that the perp list his job after lobbing a sandwich.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 309d
I'd have expected a few charges related to making a mustard agent on the street corner as well.