From beyond the grave

756 points · 103 comments · view on lemmy.world

103 Comments

djdarren@piefed.social · 108 pts · 262d (46 replies)

I would say that the US is a very weird place, but then I remembered that this

is the flagship of the British Navy First British Sea Lord. She hasn't floated for literally 100 years.

So mostly I guess it's just that militaries are weird.

Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 82 pts · 262d (8 replies)

There's also a statue of George Washington in England. Except the US shipped a bunch of dirt all the way across the Atlantic from Virginia so he would technically not be standing on British soil.

Humans do weird shit just to make a statement.

affenlehrer@feddit.org · 29 pts · 262d (5 replies)

Dracula did the same when he moved to England

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 262d (4 replies)

But is Dracula twelve stories high and made of radiation?

Glytch@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Is George Washington!?😨

klugerama@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 262d

I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks

Snowclone@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 262d

He was a gundam.

TheDoozer@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 262d

I heard... that... motherfucker had, like... thirty goddamn dicks.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 16 pts · 262d

"What do we do with all this rubble and old dirt?"

"Ship it to the UK and call it patriotism"

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 261d

The state is entirely based on lies and delusions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion

frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 42 pts · 262d (14 replies)

The USS Constitution is still fully crewed, floats, and occasionally fires a few cannon shots.

Keeping history around isn't weird. Though I do think it should be contextualized.

GraniteM@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 262d (9 replies)

The Constitution is also the only ship in the current U.S. fleet to have sunk an enemy vessel, having defeated and burnt HMS Java in 1813.

Her nearest competition was decommissioned in 2015.

Deceptichum@quokk.au · 7 pts · 262d
[ removed ]
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 262d (7 replies)

You're telling me no ship in the current fleet besides that old ship has sunk an enemy vessel?

balsoft@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 262d (5 replies)

I guess it's because technically the US hasn't been at war since WW2, and so ships sunk since then were not considered enemy ships. Korea, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Gulf, and Iraq were all technically not wars but just "special military operations" or whatever. Where do you think Putin gets most of his aspirations and ideas?

yeather@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 261d (3 replies)

The last ship to sink an enemy vessel was the USS Simpson in the 1988 Iran-Iraq war, which retired in 2015. Every conflict after has not had any naval combat resulting in a loss of vessel.

balsoft@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 261d (2 replies)

That's very surprising to me. Do they not count random pirate boats and so, or did they really sink no vessels at all since then?

prettybunnys@piefed.social · 2 pts · 261d

I think many of the actions have been against what are considered non-state actors. So I think it’s just what’s considered an “enemy vessel”

yeather@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 261d

They do not count anti-pirate operations, the US Navy has never counted anti-pirate operations.

pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

What about all those Venezuelan ships?

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

They focus mainly on murdering innocent civilians.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion

HearTwoTalk@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Seeing her out of her slip is kind of weird. She was accompanied on either side by tug boats, like an elderly person escorted by nurses or family members fearful they may fall over.

frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 262d (1 reply)

US Navy sails the Constitution up to a Russian submarine.

Fires full broadside.

Refuses to elaborate.

Leaves.

prettybunnys@piefed.social · 1 pts · 261d

Ukraine credited with sinking another Russian submarine

djdarren@piefed.social · 5 pts · 262d

Ah, I'm mostly joking. Victory is a really cool museum, almost as cool as the wreck of the Mary Rose that's displayed in a building next to her.

ceenote@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 262d (5 replies)

Militaries see a lot of value in convincing their members that they'll be remembered after dying.

sartalon@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 262d (4 replies)

Some good things have happened because people sacrificed themselves for the greater good.

Do I wish this wasn't necessary? Fucking of course.

But history doesn't repeat itself so much as humans just don't change.

0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 262d

Some good things have happened because people sacrificed themselves for the greater good.

We're talking about the US here. It's mostly about the greed, slavery, oil or invading farmers.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d
[ removed ]
technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d (1 reply)

I'll assume that you're talking about Luigi Mangione (allegedly) and move on.

sartalon@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 261d

I was thinking of some of the Revolutionary War soldiers, actually and the allies fighting Nazi Germany.

Not really sure where Luigi came from.

napoleonsdumbcousin@feddit.org · 20 pts · 262d

Small correction: The HMS Victory is the flagship of the First Sea Lord. The current Royal Navy Fleet Flagship is the aircraft carrier HMS Prince of Wales.

Snowclone@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 262d (5 replies)

but what about ceremonial anime swords in the US military?

tetris11@feddit.uk · 10 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Is she not beautiful? Do her curves offend your insecure masculine sensibilities?

djdarren@piefed.social · 8 pts · 262d (1 reply)

She's too beautiful. So beautiful in fact, that I am now banned from Portsmouth Historic Dockyard.

tetris11@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 262d

For shame, for she has many suitors but not nearly enough who will polish her portholes

buffing_lecturer@leminal.space · 9 pts · 262d (1 reply)

I somehow never considered that there were literal flagships.

davidgro@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 262d

The USS Enterprise (pretty much any of them, including nonfiction) have been flagships.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 262d

The fleet flagship of the Royal Navy is currently HMS Prince of Wales.

The Royal Navy flagship is HMS Excellent (which is an island, not a ship).

Victory is the flagship of the First Sea Lord, and also has the largest crew of any vessel in the navy, as personnel are assigned to her on paper by default until transferred to an active unit.

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 262d (1 reply)

Yeah that's weird. You gotta keep your wooden boats in the water like we do. Our navy owns a forest for repairing our stupid wooden ship

djdarren@piefed.social · 1 pts · 261d

When they took our wooden boat out of the water it turned out that she'd hogged by around 500mm. Which is quite a lot for a boat. In fairness, she was 150 years old by that point.

Now there's a vast system of hydraulic rams supporting her in the dry dock, to the point that they reckon she's better supported now than when she was afloat.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

Every state is based on total bullshit. That's part of why the state is garbage.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion

VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 53 pts · 262d (7 replies)

Holy shit George Washington would hate this policy. He was done being commander in chief! That's why he stepped down after 2 terms! I get it's symbolic, but his whole thing regarding the office was "don't deify me."

ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 262d (3 replies)

Which would really explain why he might come back as a zombie. The rage just builds until he pops up out of his grave and shouts, "DID I STUTTER?"

AtariDump@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Suffa@lemmy.wtf · 2 pts · 262d

Bew Pest.

ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 262d

And then after he says that, he turns slightly and says, "not that there's anything bad or wrong about people who struggle with their speech. What I'm saying is, IF YOU HAD TROUBLE HEARING ME, YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME AS MUCH IN 1799!"

"...You named how many cities after me?!"

"...The Capital?!"

"...And also an entire state?!?"

"Nope, you know what, fine. I am a god. And I am vengeful."

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 262d

Which makes The Apotheosis of Washington pretty ironic. Beautiful, though.

yeather@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 261d

Counterpoint. These are military titles and not presidential ones. When Washington left office he wanted his official formal title to return to General and not President. Meaning he would be more okay with this.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 261d

Phony AF. Dude lived as a god among the people he enslaved.

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 262d (2 replies)

It’s the year 30,000. God-Emperor George Washington moans to life and leads Earth to war against the rest of the universe.

Exusia@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 262d

A man reads the news of this break on his shigawire paper. "Huh that sucks," he says, desensitized. "Still not the worst thing to happen this year" he muses to himself. He turns to get back into the food line, the zombie apocalypse on distant Terra already forgotten.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

Washington wakes up... "My slaves... Where are my slaves?!?! I need to recapture them..." [Heads north]

ramble81@lemmy.zip · 33 pts · 262d (6 replies)

Calling it now, once Trump finds out this exists, he’ll do something to try and supersede that to put him at the top.

Maybe a 6 star general with the pips arranged like a Star of David.

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 262d (5 replies)

US Presidents are literally thenCommander in Chief (the highest ranking military position).

The beautiful thing is: Washington was literally the 1st President, so nothing Trump does or says can change that.

Albeit, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried. #gulfofmexico4ever

HK65@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 262d (3 replies)

Well, he does want to be first king

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 262d

That's how you invoke the ire of Zombie Elvis.

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 262d

if anything would bring the OG GW back, it would be that.

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 262d

Monkey’s Paw: Granted. But the people will quickly rise up and overthrow him and subject him to the guillotine.

RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 261d

Just post-date his first presidency to be before Washington

sundray@lemmus.org · 24 pts · 262d (2 replies)

"Dearest Zombie Martha: Winter at Valley Forge is exceedingly desperate. The harsh wind whistles through the men's exposed rib cages, and our supply of brains is running low."

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 262d (1 reply)

That's probably America's greatest defence against zombies. Any outbreak will starve to death in short order.

sundray@lemmus.org · 2 pts · 262d

Well, that and any zombie who eats one of us will likely get taken down by a combination of measles, mumps, chicken pox, COVID, and high cholesterol as well.

Snowclone@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 262d

this tradition stems for Washington holding a general rank in the British military before rebellion, and the US traditionally never having a rank higher than the one he held in the British military, so when we actually did need those ranks because practicality, they just bumped him up.

DarkFuture@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 262d (4 replies)

A reanimated body couldn't be worse at governing than our current administration.

NewSocialWhoDis@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Zombie Washington probably wouldn't/ couldn't rape children, so yes. I'll give it to you.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d (1 reply)

Pretty sure Washington oversaw the rape of many many slaves, assuming he didn't participate himself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Washington_and_slavery#Interracial_sexual_relations

NewSocialWhoDis@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 261d

Your phrasing there is intentionally misleading.

The wiki you link discusses 20 people of obviously mixed race, with half? of those likely parentages seeming coercive. 'Many many' sounds like dozens.

I guess you mean that the number is rapes likely far exceeds the number of people conceived from rapes? The wiki also mentions guests expecting sexual gratification from slaves, but not whether or not those expectations were met. "Overseeing" any activity, kind of implies you're managing said activity, seeing it through to it's completion. Looking the other way would certainly be complicit, but it's not the same thing as commanding and ensuring those rapes happened.

Also, I set the bar intentionally low for zombie Washington. Child rape was the bar. There's no amount of revision of American history that has lowered Washington to Trump levels of evil yet. And I further wrote couldn't rape kids with the expectation that zombie dicks probably fall off.

So anyway, zombie Washington still gets my vote over Trump.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

I'm not sure that replacing a racist with a literal enslaver would be much of an improvement.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 16 pts · 262d (1 reply)

“No kings”

SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 261d

Just generals

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 262d

He missed the opportunity to leave a standing order to kill any president that ordered illegal orders.

teddypolice@feddit.org · 11 pts · 262d (1 reply)

That's the Sandy Petersen of DOOM fame. Wicked.

The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world · 5 pts · 262d

Zombie game featuring Washington when?

cabillaud@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 261d

Usual US militarism

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 262d (1 reply)

Chat, is this real?

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 262d

Yeah. We're just really grateful he got us an ohio

alsaaas@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Definitely no cult of personality there™

guy@piefed.social · 7 pts · 262d (1 reply)

Americans obsessing over founding fathers? Get out of here

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

USA has daddy issues and it shows so hard.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion#United_States

Deceptichum@quokk.au · 9 pts · 262d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 262d

They actually ignore history and background behind the founding of their country and how it isn't so grandiose.

But, the propaganda is so ingrained, it's literally tied to their personalities. And then they force it on every social platforms (because they own major platforms) and pretend their patriotism is different from the ones in North Korea and China.

It's SAD

amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 262d

if the zombie apocalypse ever happens, there will be a lot of Black people he owned wanting to play football with his decapitated head

ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 261d

Do zombies follow rules of engagement and chain of command?

homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 262d

Cripes. Wait until the demented rapist hears that. New EO incoming.

PugJesus@piefed.social · 6 pts · 262d

Oh God, we put the enemy in charge of our own military, our brains are doomed

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 262d

I doubt there’s that much left of him apart from the dentures.

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 262d (1 reply)

It must be nice to have zombie Washington on your side.

technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 261d

Maybe if your skin is pale enough...

RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 261d

That sounds just weird as hell

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 262d (4 replies)

only a necromancer would be able ressurect george washington.

Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 262d (3 replies)

Only a necro-romancer would be able to lay him back to rest.

Hupf@feddit.org · 3 pts · 262d (2 replies)

Only a neck-romancer would be afraid of Abraham Lincoln

Honytawk@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 261d (1 reply)

Only a neko-romancer would be fine eating cat food.

Hupf@feddit.org · 1 pts · 261d

JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 262d (1 reply)

So in the 41st century, George Washington will be the God-Emperor of Mankind and the Omnissiah.

criss_cross@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 262d

Zombie Washington sees hears and knows all

Zagorath@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 262d

Damn, nice to see a Sandy Petersen post somewhere other than !rts@reddthat.com.

Zagorath@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 262d

::: spoiler Transcription A Tweet by Sandy Petersen @#SandyofCthulhu

Whenever the US Army has created a new higher rank, George Washington is promoted to it, and if he isn't the first, his promotion is postdated so that he has seniority. So when we instigated the rank of 3 star officers in the Civil War for Grant & Farragut, and the rank of 4 star general in WW1 for Pershing, George got to be that rank too.

This means George Washington is always the highest ranked soldier, senior to every other officer. This means in the zombie apocalypse, he will be in charge.

[A photo of George Washington, edited so he has blood stains around the neck, a partly-healed wound on his forehead with the stains of blood dripping down from it, and unnatural eyes, so he appears as a zombie.] :::

Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 262d

We should just make a 10 Star Ultra General rank just for him so we don't have to keep upping it every time. That should buy plenty of breathing room.

kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 262d
[ removed ]
technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 261d

That means the military is still run by enslaver trash. Still worships enslaver trash. No surprise we live in a fascist hellscape.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_religion