I'll just stay senile, thanks.

264 points · 63 comments · view on lemmy.world

63 Comments

BadlyTimedLuck@lemmy.world · 81 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Are you a smart fellla or a fart smella?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 57 pts · 255d

Science says you may be both!

Vitaly@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 255d

Yes

Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 45 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Fart fetishists out here living forever

UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 255d

glances at Kissinger and Cheney

This would explain a lot

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 255d

dutch oven themselves.

PodPerson@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 255d (5 replies)

Everyone likes their own brand.

Aggravationstation@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Its like when you're walking up the stairs in an apartment building and you can smell somebody's cooking and you're like "ooh I wonder what they're cooking."

Gerblat@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 255d

That, plus crap

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d

That's rarely been my case. Usually it's "it smells like someone died a few days ago but I'm not calling the cops"

D_C@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Yes, but not always.

I recently did a fart in bed whilst half asleep that woke me up and I tried to roll away from it.
It was so bad the wife asked me if I'd just shit the bed.

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 255d

That's how you know you've succeeded in life.

Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 255d (4 replies)

My farts are awesome

theneverfox@pawb.social · 18 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I do feel like sampling your own farts is helpful... Like it's a gut biome health check

I'm sure it smells like shit though

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 255d

Mine smells like freshly baked cookies.

Psionicsickness@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 255d

Username checks out.

Speiser0@feddit.org · 3 pts · 255d

Mmh, can confirm. 😩

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 255d

I did a silent but deadly in a gas station line once and made a kid cry because of it. Never been more proud in my life.

Eh_I@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Been in a nursing home? This doesn't track.

ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org · 6 pts · 255d

It's already too late for them so they forgot to smell it all up hence the odor. One afternoon in a nursing home per week can do wonders for people who haven't Alzheimer's already!

REDACTED@infosec.pub · 3 pts · 255d

Cursed comment

biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 254d

So I guess you can be a smart fella AND a fart smella

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 12 pts · 255d

Good news for anyone sharing a train with me this morning.

Ghyste@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 255d (7 replies)

This is a screenshot of a news article.

too_high_for_this@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 255d (2 replies)

This is a comment on a screenshot of a news article.

Honytawk@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 255d (1 reply)

This is a reply on a comment on a screenshot of a news article.

HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 254d

This is a fart 💨

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 11 pts · 255d (1 reply)

This is a very astute observation.

HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 254d

Asstoot observation 😂🤣

gtr@programming.dev · 2 pts · 255d
halvar@lemy.lol · 1 pts · 255d

true

webp@mander.xyz · 11 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Finally, some good farting news

200ok@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 255d

Big Fart propaganda!!

NotSteve_@piefed.ca · 10 pts · 255d (2 replies)

The tagline seems to indicate they don't need to be your own

Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 255d

Well nobody around me has alzheimers... and by the power of egg salad sandwiches I'm going to do my part to make sure they never do.

webp@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 255d

Mine smell the best though

SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 255d (5 replies)

Your farts are still worthless to others. Just sayin.

crank0271@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 255d

It's just Brain Age: Multiplayer Edition

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 255d (2 replies)

Doesn't seem like that's the case. Via either proximity or an individuals higher hydrogen sulfate concentration, someone else's farts may be more beneficial to you than your own.

SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I've been around those higher hydrogen sulfate passers. If that's beneficial...I'll pass.

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

Bro, you're missing out, bro. Let's just hot box our farts together. It's super good for you, bro.

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

Speak for yourself. A tyrannical dictator paid me hundreds of thousands of dollars just to feed me turkey and deviled eggs in an enclosed room with some kind of fan and concentration chamber.

Nastybutler@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Thanks to my dogs, it looks like I have one less thing to worry about

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 255d

My dog likes to stretch his front legs as he's getting off the couch, and in doing so, always, ALWAYS farts with these butthole spasms where it opens and closes several times. It's a fucking horror show. It's like watching the good place then suddenly cut to real life footage of a murder. Straight up traumatizing.

drascus@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 255d (2 replies)

How do you avoid it?... You are right there.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 2 pts · 255d (1 reply)
bhamlin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 254d

This explains all those morning exercises I see the Japanese doing daily. It was all fart escape training.

huppakee@piefed.social · 5 pts · 255d

I bet Big Pharma is already farting out experiments

lemmie689@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 255d

Well this is certainly good news for me!

Wilco@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 255d (1 reply)

I am calling it now, Trump is going to be shilling canned farms to MAGA now.

Damn fart sniffers.

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d

That south park episode where they fart in champagne glasses comes to mind.

Avicenna@programming.dev · 4 pts · 255d

In before we see bottled fart in amazon. And then following that high hyrdogen sulfide content premium grade farts and premium hydrogen sulfide with with added Methyl Mercaptan because it is shown to increase hydrogen sulfide intake

6stringringer@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 255d

There was someone getting healthy on my flight today.

lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com · 3 pts · 255d (2 replies)

How do people avoid smelling their own farts? Do they run away?

Honytawk@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 255d (1 reply)

Crop dusting only

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

I hate Walmart on such an epic level that in the few times I'm forced to go there, I'm disappointed when I can't crop dust someone in there.

Socialjusticewarrior@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 255d (2 replies)
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UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 255d

Not me, mines too stink

Konstant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 254d
[ removed ]
HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 254d

Turns out fart jar girl was on to something 😂🤣💨

Chingzilla@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 254d

Seems more like an article the Sun would publish 🤣

otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 254d

Hol'up. Now they're trying to tell us that while we're busy being poor, we can be "better" by huffing our own intestinal gases? Is this just them trying to normalize their own psychoses? Thafuq.

hardcoreufo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 254d

What about dog farts? She rips them all day long.

Headofthebored@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 234d (1 reply)

Certain amounts? Like, if you die, that was too much?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 0 pts · 234d

I mean... Yeah? You'd suffocate from the lack of oxygen. 🤷‍♂️