From my end to another person's end connected by the plumbing system?
Seriously tho: I can understand why certain tech things might need a camera; if the toilet is able to accurately bidet the shit off my asshole with laser precision I can understand it might need to see all the dingleberries... But why the fuck does it have to send the camera data anywhere? Keep that shit local, confined to the device itself.
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.
Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting "hacked", it's not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare
To this very day, with only the slightest amount of technical knowledge, you can log onto people's existing devices, watch their video feeds, initiate print jobs, etc.
A 'haha im hax0r' amusement from 20+ years ago is still going strong.
um, couldn't you just look down at your shit, or take your own picture on your smart phone to compare to other poop images on the web? Like why the fuck would anyone need a toilet camera?
Might drop phone into the shitty toilet! But if the camera is specifically designed for my toilet, can't drop it in! What an amazing product idea for people like me! Also, I don't tell you your hobbies are dumb. If you're curious, I have a graphed some data showing my normal distribution of bristol scale output for the last few years. Can't tell you how many times I've had to fish the phone out of the toilet to collect that data (don't worry, it's waterproof, so it gets rinsed off during the flush).
could also add odor or discomfort if you're worried about that
On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that's gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy).
From a dog's perspective that lives in an urban area, this makes perfect sense. Humans are fascinated with poop, collected in bags, and stored in the park bins. Why wouldn't they put cameras in their toilets?
Because human experience alone is too dull for a being existing in a vast universe with trillions of stars. Slip on the metaphysical shoes of some other creature every now and then and marvel how utterly alien human existence actually is. And we're just one tiny wet rock, spinning around an unremarkable star, in an out of the way spiral arm of an unremarkable galaxy among an endless sea of pinpoints of light.
My toilet picked a fine time to update the flapper valve driver, I've got a surprise swirl with a peak above the water and a blood clot on top that really needs to go before company shows up.
77 Comments
Jimbabwe@lemmy.world · 84 pts · 275d
Sometimes this timeline is too absurd not to love a little bit
Whostosay@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 275d
I pray everyday that someone sneaks up behind me and hits my head with a large hammer
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 275d
Im always watching the lamps just in case.
Feels like we've landed in an episode of Brasseye
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 66 pts · 275d
Anyone who decided to buy a smart toilet with internet access deserves to not have an encrypted connection
TheWinged7@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 275d
Its even worse, its a smart attachment for any existing toilet
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 275d
Only a matter of time before the Kohler Miracle occurs, a magnificent turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary.
dalekcaan@feddit.nl · 59 pts · 275d
Imagine paying $600 plus $7 a month for Kohler to look at your shit.
thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 275d
Jokes on the intern?
Raptor_007@lemmy.world · 53 pts · 275d
What the fuck are we doing as humanity
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 31 pts · 275d
Storing petabytes of shit photos on coal burning servers cooled by drinking water.
Because a guy in a black turtleneck told us to.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 274d
Wait, it stores it?
I thought it forwards my shit pictures to my enemies.
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 274d
Why just pictures?
I think another type of device is necessary here.
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 274d
Now there's a business plan
thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 275d
Nothing productive, just making $$ off rubes.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 33 pts · 275d
No shit.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 32 pts · 275d
Literally a shit post. Well done sir.
tidderuuf@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 275d
What a shitty design.
mp3@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 275d
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 18 pts · 275d
From my end to another person's end connected by the plumbing system?
Seriously tho: I can understand why certain tech things might need a camera; if the toilet is able to accurately bidet the shit off my asshole with laser precision I can understand it might need to see all the dingleberries... But why the fuck does it have to send the camera data anywhere? Keep that shit local, confined to the device itself.
tuff_wizard@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 275d
It analyses your shit and cross checks against the Bristol stool chart.
It then has either Metamucil or a block of cheese delivered to your house as needed.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 275d
ERROR: Too much blood detected in sample.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 275d
a very complicated human centipede
roserose56@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 275d
Camera toilet? For shitting with your boyfriend/girlfriend together.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 275d
Co-op or PvP?
Siegfried@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 275d
FFA
Anivia@feddit.org · 6 pts · 275d
PvE
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 275d
PvP, obviously.
roserose56@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 275d
Co-op
BambiDiego@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 274d
Competitive Ranked PvP with time-eroding leaderboards
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 275d
E_coli42@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 275d
c/StallmanWasRight
db2@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 275d
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.
JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 274d
I will never be surprised by insecure IoT devices.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 23 pts · 274d
The S in IoT stands for security
JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 274d
Lol perfect, I like that.
DocMcStuffin@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 275d
Literally using people's shit to train their shit AI.
khepri@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 274d
I don't like to judge idiots too harshly, but if you bought a product marketed as an encrypted toilet camera you deserve whatever happens to you
Drun@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 274d
Real gangsters use full fledged Dahua & go2rtc as their toilet camera
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 274d
It may take a very special kind of idiot to spend $599 plus a mandatory subscription of at least $6.99 per month on such a thing.
biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 275d
Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting "hacked", it's not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare
Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 274d
If you’re hacking a toilet camera, you deserve whatever horrors you find.
Krudler@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 274d
To this very day, with only the slightest amount of technical knowledge, you can log onto people's existing devices, watch their video feeds, initiate print jobs, etc.
A 'haha im hax0r' amusement from 20+ years ago is still going strong.
QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 275d
That’s because they call it Ass-to-Ass Encryption
Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 275d
Poop back and forth forever.
iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 275d
Blast from the past there.
putitoutwithyourbootsted@piefed.social · 1 pts · 273d
Blast from the ass.
ToiletFlushShowerScream@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 274d
Wait, this technology wasn’t an onion article or a fever dream? WTF Kohler, how much money did you waste on this tech and supporting infrastructure?!
andros_rex@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 274d
Adult Swim predicted this ten years ago.
FosterMolasses@leminal.space · 2 pts · 274d
Ahhhh, beat me to it!!
Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 275d
um, couldn't you just look down at your shit, or take your own picture on your smart phone to compare to other poop images on the web? Like why the fuck would anyone need a toilet camera?
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 275d
Might drop phone into the shitty toilet! But if the camera is specifically designed for my toilet, can't drop it in! What an amazing product idea for people like me! Also, I don't tell you your hobbies are dumb. If you're curious, I have a graphed some data showing my normal distribution of bristol scale output for the last few years. Can't tell you how many times I've had to fish the phone out of the toilet to collect that data (don't worry, it's waterproof, so it gets rinsed off during the flush).
tkk13909@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 275d
Literal shit post
xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day · 2 pts · 275d
Shit shorts, ShitTok?
davidagain@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 274d
They invented an internet poop camera and people actually buy it?!
The person who got this done is persuasive as fuck and should be in sales, not R&D.
xorollo@leminal.space · 7 pts · 275d
What are the ends in this end-to-end? Someone more clever than me can make this into a joke.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 275d
xorollo@leminal.space · 4 pts · 275d
I don't think the public key is going to help that end user recover the message.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 275d
pubic key lol
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 275d
If you wanna log your logs the old fashioned way with just a spreadsheet:
Date / time
On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that's gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy).
asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev · 5 pts · 275d
Why does anyone even need a camera in their toilets?
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 275d
From a dog's perspective that lives in an urban area, this makes perfect sense. Humans are fascinated with poop, collected in bags, and stored in the park bins. Why wouldn't they put cameras in their toilets?
Whostosay@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 275d
Alright, I'll do it.
Why are we looking at this from a dogs perspective?
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 275d
Because human experience alone is too dull for a being existing in a vast universe with trillions of stars. Slip on the metaphysical shoes of some other creature every now and then and marvel how utterly alien human existence actually is. And we're just one tiny wet rock, spinning around an unremarkable star, in an out of the way spiral arm of an unremarkable galaxy among an endless sea of pinpoints of light.
Whostosay@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 275d
I disagree with all of what you said, but I like the way you think.
Carry on, but like a cat would.
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 275d
🫡 Meow.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 275d
Content creation for an entire Pornhub tab.
KarfiolosHus@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 275d
So is it any wonder that people are afraid of technology?
Krudler@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 274d
Nobody is afraid of technology.
Most people buying this stuff are just gadget goofs with way too much disposable income, nothing more.
huquad@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 275d
End to end to end. That's 50% more ends so it has to be safer.
Fmstrat@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 274d
I love the phrase "data is encrypted at rest."
Having worked with a lot of medical data, the rules are simple:
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 274d
If there's someone out there that gets off on watching me poop let them. (I'm a 310 pounds 40 year old.)
Hux@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 275d
lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 274d
"End to end!"
Hux@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 274d
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 274d
My toilet picked a fine time to update the flapper valve driver, I've got a surprise swirl with a peak above the water and a blood clot on top that really needs to go before company shows up.
richie_golds@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 274d
Samsy@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 274d
Adding the vids of my toilet to the vids the roomla made. It all comes together.
REDACTED@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 273d
Toilet..camera? Do I want to know?