Trump tells aides he is willing to end Iran war without reopening Hormuz, WSJ reports

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-tells-aides-he-is-willing-end-iran-war-without-reopening-hormuz-wsj-2026-03-31/

He starts a war, tanks the global economy, and it's willing to leave the global economy in taters like a little bitch.

MAGA in a nutshell.

290 points · 61 comments · view on lemmy.world

61 Comments

fizzle@quokk.au · 98 pts · 143d (10 replies)

This kinda seems like the mutterings of a crazy person.

He hasn't had a plan since day one and as each moment passes he has a different thought about how he might possibly extricate himself from the mess he's created.

Later today he will threaten to bomb their schools, then the military will keep preparing for boots on the ground, then he will tweet about how they've already destroyed Iran's leadership, then he will say he's going to tariff allies who aren't helping, then he will say the strait is open, then he will say high fuel prices are really great for American fuel suppliers.

tomiant@piefed.social · 44 pts · 143d (3 replies)

Are you suggesting Donald Trump is of unsound mind?

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 143d

pikachu face

Glemek@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 143d (1 reply)

I bet there are lots of sounds in his mind...

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 143d

Mostly rattling noises.

phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 143d

as each moment passes he has a different thought

I'm unconvinced he has any thoughts.

BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 143d (2 replies)

I'm pretty sure his next act is actually to invade Cuba by building a bridge to it.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 143d

The bridge will be made out of nukes.

davepleasebehave@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 143d

that would be Roman empire levels of cool to be fair

wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 143d (1 reply)

Later today he will threaten to bomb their schools,

FTFY

imsufferableninja@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 142d

It was an orphanage, but your comment was prescient

KoboldCoterie@pawb.social · 50 pts · 143d (7 replies)

tomiant@piefed.social · 15 pts · 143d (5 replies)

I'm still as nervous as a piglet at a German buffet. He legitimately has the keys to the nukes.

N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 143d (4 replies)

You should be nervous. He has the keys and he's itching to use them to show the world how powerful he is.

tomiant@piefed.social · 7 pts · 143d (3 replies)

This guy (geopolitics lecturer) has a video from a year ago outlining how Trump will likely go about invading Iran, and it is pretty scary how well he nails it looking at the answer sheet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEEpOxqdU5E

That's just his channel, I highly recommend it. Anyway, he mentioned, and he is not alone, that before all is said and done about Iran, nukes might fly.

blanket@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 143d (1 reply)

I got pulled into that dudes rabbit hole and discovered that he's kind of bonkers crazy. like masonic temple conspiracy level crazy.

tomiant@piefed.social · 1 pts · 143d

You think? I get funny vibes from him too. I can sift the good stuff from the bullshit fairly well I think. But what makes you think that?

karashta@piefed.social · 6 pts · 143d

That dude is a crank and possible spy. His analysis is pretty surface level until he starts getting into the conspiracy bullshit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Xueqin

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JN9bUUPPRZ8

Shows pretty well what kind of nutter he is iirc

PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 143d

It doesn't matter if he's bitching out. They now KNOW he's full of shit and they have the upper hand. It's too late. They've already demanded as much.

frongt@lemmy.zip · 38 pts · 143d (8 replies)

Leave the economy in taters? What's taters, precious?

FrChazzz@lemmus.org · 18 pts · 143d (1 reply)

POE-TAY-TOES

Poppa_Mo@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 143d

Boil em, mash em, bomb a school through and through.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 143d (1 reply)

tater tots.

Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 143d

Tots and pears

phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 143d

Home fries? Or maybe baked?

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 143d

It'd be tatters in English.

maccentric@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 143d

Dick-taters

tomiant@piefed.social · 0 pts · 142d

I reckon' he likes him some fried taters, hm-hrrrm.

phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 36 pts · 143d (1 reply)

So, as widely predicted, the "strategy" is to give up, declare victory and walk away, leaving things worse in every way than they were before the war.

And Trump will continue to whine about other countries not paying for the war that they had no role in starting.

YesButActuallyMaybe@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 143d
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green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 35 pts · 143d (1 reply)

tomiant@piefed.social · 7 pts · 143d

inb4 b/c aides

socphoenix@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 143d (5 replies)

Yes this is epic levels of stupid, but is there a better outcome we could hope for given he’s dumb as shit? I can’t think of anything productive he’d be able to do unless the goal is to further destabilize the Middle East/start an actual war.

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 22 pts · 143d (3 replies)

Probably not.

I had "continues to escalate until nukes" on my bingo card, I hadn't thought much of "gets bored and leaves broken toy on the floor".

PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 143d (1 reply)

Not gonna happen. He bloodied their noses and they're not going to back down. They said as much, and his bitch ass can't really do much about it except global thermonuclear war

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 143d

While that may be true there's always the possibility that Trump just abandoned the middle east in its entirety rather than deal with this. Basically doing to everyone there what he did to the Kurds.

tomiant@piefed.social · 1 pts · 142d

Yep, I think nukes are going to happen. I think that's somehow the plan. Open up that avenue. Because then suddenly Russia can use them in Ukraine, Israel can use them against everyone, and the rest of the world crumble beneath the power of the nuclear states.

Call me cynical but this has been on my bingo card for decades and I think before all is said and done nukes are gonna fly.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 143d

I think his goal is the same as it has been since 2016.

Destroy and divide America.

Dwayne_Elizondo_Mountain_Dew_Camacho@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 143d

ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca · 29 pts · 143d (2 replies)

So he shits all over the fucking region and fucks up the global economy screwing over the whole middle class and even the rich fucking investors, then he fucking announces this?

Welp, time to invest in the green energy sector.

Serinus@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 143d

He gave the green energy sector to China because it's "woke".

Damage@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 143d

Speedrunning "American intervention in the middle east" scenario.

Europe thanks the USA for messing up our neighborhood ONCE AGAIN. With friends like these...

cheeseburger@piefed.ca · 26 pts · 143d (1 reply)

Americans should pay restitution to everyone on Earth.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 19 pts · 143d

they can do it by using the french method on benny, trump, miller and thier collaborators.

db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 143d

Lol iran is already charging passage fees in Chinese Yuan you absolute scumfuck! The implications of this alone are massive for your rotten empire. Lol. Do eeeeet!

favoredponcho@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 143d
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Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 14 pts · 143d

his aids? being miller, probably kushner, Putin and aipac members. trump has done his part, lifting sanctions on russia and helping them recover thier loss petro dollars.

AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 143d (1 reply)

What's taters, precious?

Tatters*

trslim@pawb.social · 7 pts · 143d

PO-TA-TOES

fierysparrow89@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 143d

Art of the deal, people 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MrNesser@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 143d

Gotta admit if i was the Iranian military i would be celebrating, not only has he screwed the pooch across the region by giving them an excuse to bomb multiple targets they have always wanted to. He has also given a firm timeline for when the US will fuck off - thats great for morale

tal@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 143d

U.S. President Donald Trump ​told aides ‌he is willing to end ​the military ​campaign against Iran even ⁠if the ​Strait of ​Hormuz remains largely closed and leave ​a complex ​operation to reopen it ‌for ⁠a later date, the Wall Street Journal ​reported ​on ⁠Monday, citing administration officials.

In 2029, it became apparent that the Strait of Hormuz being closed was actually President Newsom's fault.

mrdown@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 143d

Iran should keep it close to any country who has sanctions on them

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 143d

That’s not what the toddler in chief’s actions say when he’s moved a bunch of B-52s to UK airbases.

(It’d be great if we all got ‘taters, better than the screwing we’re actually going to deal with)

AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 143d (2 replies)

And I wish I was joking but he is going to blame the previous administration for this, maybe even Obama.

nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 143d (1 reply)

a smart man would blame everything on the 1970s

AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 142d

chahn.chris@piefed.social · 5 pts · 143d

When you run out of libs to own you gotta start owning yourself.

hanrahan@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 143d (3 replies)

I've been reading the WSJ for many a long year (know thine enemy) the comments section has seen some shift from proud support for Trump into somewhat despairing but there's still a vast holdout of it's worth it if Iran is destroyed and Trump is the bravest President because of it.

Stormy@thelemmy.club · 8 pts · 143d (2 replies)
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BanMe@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 143d (1 reply)

They do have influence tho, and the average Boomer Betty Jane doesn't take time to wonder if they're legit comments, her brain's mirror neurons automatically integrate this and compare her beliefs to it, invoking a deep and lengthy reconciliation process, all of which she's unaware of. This is how community norms are changed, alternate realities exist. Which is all to say, the internet was a bad idea, we know that now.

Stormy@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 143d
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nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 143d

I'm willing to take a fat shit without flushing the toilet if that's what it takes

thoralf@discuss.familie-will.at · 3 pts · 143d
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PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 143d

Too bad dipshit. They realize they have the upper hand now. That's not going to happen!

capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 143d

Global economy fucked even more = mission successful

He's not going to rest until we're in a global depression.