Unless you're my geriatric dog, in which case, you refuse to move no matter what the huge animal near you is doing, and just give them a hurt look when they walk into you.
The was a corgi my friends family had, a former show dog, he would intentionally lay behind someone who is standing in a hallway or other passage. He knew he would get tripped over, because he also knew he'd get affection and apology cuddles after.
You're whiffing on the point. That's not usual behavior for stray or wild cats, it's a specialised behavior that involves people and other animals they feel are 'safe.' Not an intelligence issue.
Cats are reeeal dumb animals, but people think they are smart because they are pretty.
You're saying that's meant sarcastically, and everyone reading is supposed to automagically know that you're being facetious? Do you find yourself regularly surrounded by mind-readers...?
I dunno, any time I watch a movie with giants or giant creatures, people are innevitably running around by their feet. I don't think humans are that smart either.
I'll take that point. But all in all I wouldn't call cats dumb. There are some dumb specimen, for sure, but that goes for all beings. And this comes back to my initial point: Cats have some unique "smart" skills, they just don't compute in the same way as we humans do. I'd put cats in the smart .. lets say 10% of all creatures
wow, 10%. cats are so unaware i think I could give them top 60%.
Killer whales, primates, crows, plenty of animals seem to demonstrate problem solving skills, true communication, situational awareness. cats do not. they seem to operate solely on instinct and any deviation completely flummoxes system.
They're good at stalking and being pretty, but that's about it.
But there's no way in heckadoo cats are anywhere near the top 10% smartest animals. they tricked ya by looking sleeeek.
I think you might be understimating how many animal species there are.
Birds and mammals make up a measly 1% of those. Soo even if we take all mammals and birds, cats are even in the top 1%, I was being very generous ;)
Humans are to cats as cars are to humans: similar difference in weight and size, similar (if not greater) danger—but we walk around them because we’re used to them and we think we can predict them well enough. And because we’re often going to the same places.
I once stepped directly in the middle of my cats back walking down stairs. Instead of putting my weight down I fell backward, landing on my elbow a couple stairs down. All my weight. It took months to be able to lean on my elbow without pain. Pretty sure it was fractured.
Mine also try to kill me on the stairs. As soon as I start to walk up, they run up a few stairs ahead of me and then stop like assholes. Especially in the dark. Thankfully they don't hang out on the stairs at other times so I know its going to happen because I hear them.
I’ve started walking up them very slowly, so now they continue the game in the hallways and are guaranteed to get kicked at least once, at which point I say “by now you know I can’t see in the dark, you deserved that.” Rather than rewarding them with apology attention.
Uh mine gets kicked accidentally at least once a day despite me trying to be careful. She is orange, though. She gets so excited for food that shin-headbutts slow down the food-getting process by 3/4ths.
Square-cube law, mate. Cats are far stronger per gram than us. It would be more like us living with a 3 meter orc that weighed 500kg. Not great, but not terrible. I'll run the numbers and get back to you.
If your species showed affection by rubbing against others and you trusted the creature not to step on you, and you were trying to act all sweet to beg for food tho...
My cat is always trying to trip me. Then again, she looks and acts like one of her parents was an African wildcat straight from the savanna. Even when she’s being purry and cuddly laying in my nook, she keeps trying to lovingly bite my face off and when I play with her, she does backflips several feet into the air trying to catch whatever toy I’m animating for her. Little creature is half wild!
Because they trust us to not step on them. They see that we try to avoid them, and so, of course we won't hurt them!
Smart but not quite smart enough to realize accidents happen lol.
They do seem to know if someone is disabled though and tend to either run faster (to clear the person's path faster) or give a wider birth from what I've seen. They have to be near the human for awhile to realize though, that's a learning curve for them.
Because you're a good person and prefer to fall on your face to accidentally kicking your cats.
If you were to give them a kick each time they cut you off, they'd learn to keep their distance.
I'm just waiting for the day my cat realizes I can't see in the dark like she can, and it's maybe not the greatest idea to sprawl out on the hallway floor directly between the bedroom and bathroom at night...
You're trying to apply logic to creatures who possess none. They know two things in this scenario; 1, they are faster than you. 2, they are faster than you. They are not thinking creatures. Accept them for their stochasticity.
Edit: it makes me sad that I upset at least 2 people with this bit so quickly.
Hum, my orange braincell got hit by a car, pelvis shattered, and pieced together and bandaged up in another room, wanted to get to his people having dinner. So he used the wall as support to get to us. They are thinking beings with problem-solving capabilities.
110 Comments
Peacock@lemmy.zip · 95 pts · 132d
3 feet tall, 4000 pounds?
expatriado@lemmy.world · 92 pts · 132d
op is dense fella
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 17 pts · 132d
He's a cheese wheel!
sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works · 43 pts · 132d
They called 'em the Lead Pancake in high school.
Okokimup@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 132d
Girthy.
lemonadfisk@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 132d
You remember the song “George Washington, George Washington 3 feet tall and 4000 pounds”
insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe · 8 pts · 132d
George Washington by Brad Neely.
Washington, Washington. six-foot-eight, weighs a fucking ton (VIEWER WARNING: He'll save children, but not the British children.)
Also later in the song:
Archer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 132d
He’ll save the children just not the British children
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 132d
Maybe some sort of clonal shrub, like an aspen but shorter? XD
Thanks for the correction!
AmidFuror@fedia.io · 9 pts · 132d
Look, look. Look, this is what I was asked to build. Eighteen inches. Right here, it specifies eighteen inches. I was given this napkin, I mean...
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 132d
Someone here has dated that person. You KNOW they have...
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 132d
They might like De La Soul
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 132d
Some kind of short legged quadruped? Low rider bull?
Andonyx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
INeedMana@piefed.zip · 59 pts · 132d
At first yes. But then you'd be zipping around it because it is soooo slooooow
Okokimup@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 132d
Unless you're my geriatric dog, in which case, you refuse to move no matter what the huge animal near you is doing, and just give them a hurt look when they walk into you.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 132d
How dare you hurt that poor sweet baby! Everyone knows that hallways, door frames, and kitchens are made for lounging!
Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 131d
Haha that Username brings me back
Zorque@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 132d
The was a corgi my friends family had, a former show dog, he would intentionally lay behind someone who is standing in a hallway or other passage. He knew he would get tripped over, because he also knew he'd get affection and apology cuddles after.
INeedMana@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 132d
the Force is strong with this one
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 132d
I don't think my cat knows that he's faster than me, he is very dumb XD
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 132d
He just cannot comprehend your lack of agility and reflexes.
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 132d
I guess "serious injury from stumbling on level ground" isn't something cats really have to worry about XD
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 25 pts · 132d
Cats are reeeal dumb animals, but people think they are smart because they are pretty.
SleeplessCityLights@programming.dev · 24 pts · 132d
They are relatively smart, but they think like cats not like people and people love to anthromorphize their pets.
Maiq@piefed.social · 12 pts · 132d
Thanks, i guess...
grue@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 132d
Housecats, not khajit. Y'all are smarter and uglier ^before^ ^Skyrim^ ^at^ ^least^
Maiq@piefed.social · 4 pts · 132d
Some say Alfiqs only live Elsweyr yet M'aiq has held many of conversations with Alfiq when no one is looking.
Mayhaps Alfiq have nothing to say to you?
d3m0nr4v3r@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 132d
If smart means 'thinks like a human' then I guess so..
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 132d
here, smart means "aware enough to not run under a titan's feet", a test cats fail to meet regularly.
they're oblivious little derps
JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social · 9 pts · 132d
You're whiffing on the point. That's not usual behavior for stray or wild cats, it's a specialised behavior that involves people and other animals they feel are 'safe.' Not an intelligence issue.
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 132d
whiff
JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social · 0 pts · 132d
whiff because you failed to provide a "/s" tag?
Sure, buddy.
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 132d
wwwwwwwhiff
That "omission" is deliberate.
JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social · 1 pts · 132d
Your literal first comment is:
You're saying that's meant sarcastically, and everyone reading is supposed to automagically know that you're being facetious? Do you find yourself regularly surrounded by mind-readers...?
DisgruntledGorillaGang@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 131d
I dunno, any time I watch a movie with giants or giant creatures, people are innevitably running around by their feet. I don't think humans are that smart either.
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 131d
humams are terrible in the decision-making department, but we do steadfastly avoid being underfoot lephants as much as possible.
wide berth.
DisgruntledGorillaGang@reddthat.com · 3 pts · 131d
Elephants literally kill more people than almost any other animal.
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 131d
With dumb cats lining up for the privilege. coooool trivia!
d3m0nr4v3r@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 132d
I'll take that point. But all in all I wouldn't call cats dumb. There are some dumb specimen, for sure, but that goes for all beings. And this comes back to my initial point: Cats have some unique "smart" skills, they just don't compute in the same way as we humans do. I'd put cats in the smart .. lets say 10% of all creatures
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 132d
wow, 10%. cats are so unaware i think I could give them top 60%.
Killer whales, primates, crows, plenty of animals seem to demonstrate problem solving skills, true communication, situational awareness. cats do not. they seem to operate solely on instinct and any deviation completely flummoxes system.
They're good at stalking and being pretty, but that's about it.
But there's no way in heckadoo cats are anywhere near the top 10% smartest animals. they tricked ya by looking sleeeek.
d3m0nr4v3r@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 132d
I think you might be understimating how many animal species there are. Birds and mammals make up a measly 1% of those. Soo even if we take all mammals and birds, cats are even in the top 1%, I was being very generous ;)
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 131d
or you are mixing up aesthetics and instinct with intelligence. you are being poop-duped by the kitkats. toxoplasmosed.
d3m0nr4v3r@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 131d
.. Sure.
Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 132d
I think it's the toxoplasmosis talking
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 131d
it has to be.
DoubleDongle@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 132d
The fact that they understand dignity hides the fact that they din't understand much in general
imeansurewhynot@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 132d
ha, great point
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
No no. Karmalee was very pretty. Like, model cat.
Dumb as hell. Pretty, but, if she were a human, she'd be a blonde valley girl from the 1980s. The kind the movie Clueless made fun of.
EntheoNaut@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 132d
That’s what He said.
AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 132d
Humans are to cats as cars are to humans: similar difference in weight and size, similar (if not greater) danger—but we walk around them because we’re used to them and we think we can predict them well enough. And because we’re often going to the same places.
JohnnyEnzyme@piefed.social · 7 pts · 132d
Finally, a good answer!
SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 132d
But cars freak me out..
The only reason I walk around them is because I have to, not because I want to
lectricleopard@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 132d
I once stepped directly in the middle of my cats back walking down stairs. Instead of putting my weight down I fell backward, landing on my elbow a couple stairs down. All my weight. It took months to be able to lean on my elbow without pain. Pretty sure it was fractured.
SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 132d
Mine also try to kill me on the stairs. As soon as I start to walk up, they run up a few stairs ahead of me and then stop like assholes. Especially in the dark. Thankfully they don't hang out on the stairs at other times so I know its going to happen because I hear them.
I’ve started walking up them very slowly, so now they continue the game in the hallways and are guaranteed to get kicked at least once, at which point I say “by now you know I can’t see in the dark, you deserved that.” Rather than rewarding them with apology attention.
toynbee@piefed.social · 3 pts · 132d
As if the cats don't enjoy your disdain.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 132d
Your cat will respect that, once she gets over being pissed at your not noticing her camouflaged on the stair. Because how dare you.
CultuurMarxist@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 132d
Did you get it checked out by a doctor?
lectricleopard@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 132d
Im in America. No.
CultuurMarxist@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 131d
Shithole country
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 18 pts · 132d
It's not your home.
It's the cat's home.
You are its servant and caretaker, and it is training you.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 132d
This is why my chickens terrify me. They used to be 25 feet tall, just a handful of dozens of million years ago.
Fucking murder machines.
vga@sopuli.xyz · 15 pts · 132d
They are being careful. They're just so much more agile than you.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 131d
Uh mine gets kicked accidentally at least once a day despite me trying to be careful. She is orange, though. She gets so excited for food that shin-headbutts slow down the food-getting process by 3/4ths.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 131d
Omgpwnies@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 131d
That sounds like my orange, and can confirm, he is an idiot.
unmagical@lemmy.ml · 14 pts · 132d
Then average volume of a 2 year old is:
(30lbs * 453.5924g/lbs) * cm^3 /1g = 13607.772cm^3
Then final creature density is:
(2 * 2000lbs * 453.5924g/lbs) / 13607.772cm^3 = 133.333...g/cm^3
That is about 6 times denser than the heaviest measured element and a little over half the density of the solar core.
I sincerely hope my math is right, but this is a shitpost and I didn't have paper so :shrug_emoji_1:
DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 10 pts · 132d
Knowledge is being able to do the math.
Wisdom is realizing OP made a mistake with his numbers
lectricleopard@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 132d
36' is 36 feet
unmagical@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 132d
You're right.
When I started writing the comment there were 0 replies and the title read 36".
When I posted what was ultimately the second comment the title still read 36".
tyler@programming.dev · 2 pts · 132d
They updated it after
kbal@fedia.io · 13 pts · 132d
You wouldn't be tempted to rub yourself against its leg?
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 132d
Nope, I've seen elephants and have had no such temptation XD
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 132d
Your cats are trying to kill you.
BlackPenguins@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 132d
OP, you're the enemy AT-AT.
Seaguy05@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 132d
" inches - two syllables ' feet - one syllable
harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 131d
Square-cube law, mate. Cats are far stronger per gram than us. It would be more like us living with a 3 meter orc that weighed 500kg. Not great, but not terrible. I'll run the numbers and get back to you.
CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social · 8 pts · 132d
If your species showed affection by rubbing against others and you trusted the creature not to step on you, and you were trying to act all sweet to beg for food tho...
SaraTonin@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 131d
For a real answer, they’re claiming the space. They’re demonstrating that they can control it and you
jade52@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 128d
This person knows how to cat.
Aeri@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 124d
And then their hubris is punished when they are stepped on.
melfie@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 131d
My cat is always trying to trip me. Then again, she looks and acts like one of her parents was an African wildcat straight from the savanna. Even when she’s being purry and cuddly laying in my nook, she keeps trying to lovingly bite my face off and when I play with her, she does backflips several feet into the air trying to catch whatever toy I’m animating for her. Little creature is half wild!
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 132d
Because they trust us to not step on them. They see that we try to avoid them, and so, of course we won't hurt them!
Smart but not quite smart enough to realize accidents happen lol.
They do seem to know if someone is disabled though and tend to either run faster (to clear the person's path faster) or give a wider birth from what I've seen. They have to be near the human for awhile to realize though, that's a learning curve for them.
morto@piefed.social · 3 pts · 132d
Have you tried asking your cats? If they don't respond, just ask nicer.
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 132d
Because the scale matters
Multiply the numbers by 100 again and imagine a kick
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 132d
Because the cats are strong enough to rip a few holes in that being. Not strong enough to lift, but enough to shrug off any accidents.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 132d
they trust that I won't waffle stomp them.
their trust is misplaced.
Klear@quokk.au · 2 pts · 132d
Because you're a good person and prefer to fall on your face to accidentally kicking your cats. If you were to give them a kick each time they cut you off, they'd learn to keep their distance.
Damaskox@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
What is 36 feet in (centi)meters?
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 132d
About 11 meters.
possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 131d
divide by 3.281
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 131d
About 10 cm?
possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 131d
36 ft / 3.281 = 10.97 meters
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 1 pts · 132d
Right, but have you considered: Food?
Odo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
I dunno, 36 feet is probably also 36 inches Wink wink
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
They're cats
fireweed@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 132d
I'm just waiting for the day my cat realizes I can't see in the dark like she can, and it's maybe not the greatest idea to sprawl out on the hallway floor directly between the bedroom and bathroom at night...
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 132d
My cat actually does know that! He doesn't mess with my legs when it's dark XD
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · -2 pts · 131d
You're trying to apply logic to creatures who possess none. They know two things in this scenario; 1, they are faster than you. 2, they are faster than you. They are not thinking creatures. Accept them for their stochasticity.
Edit: it makes me sad that I upset at least 2 people with this bit so quickly.
Edit 2: 4! :(
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 131d
Hum, my orange braincell got hit by a car, pelvis shattered, and pieced together and bandaged up in another room, wanted to get to his people having dinner. So he used the wall as support to get to us. They are thinking beings with problem-solving capabilities.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 131d
This legit hurt to read. Hope your orange homie makes it out the other side.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 131d
Eh, was years ago. He's healthy and happy.