c/nottheonion · by slothrop@lemmy.ca · 151d

RFK Jr. Recalls the Time He Was ‘Cutting the Penis Out of a Road Killed Raccoon’ - Reading mode

https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/rfk-jr-recalls-the-time-he-was-cutting-the-penis-out-of-a-road-killed-raccoon/

288 points · 49 comments · view on lemmy.world

49 Comments

becausechemistry@piefed.social · 46 pts · 151d (2 replies)

What a terrible day to know how to read

stoy@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 151d (1 reply)

What a terrible day to be litterate

FTFY

yakko@feddit.uk · 12 pts · 150d

Literate, possibly

vikingtons@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 151d

well that's enough internet for today

undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch · 27 pts · 151d (1 reply)

I’m so fucking sick of these people. Just go crawl in a hole and die somewhere, why poison this earth and all our minds with your relentless, nonstop low IQ horseshit? Imagine waking up in the morning and having to be any one of these stupid fucks.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 150d

He has a podcast now! He tells THE TRUTH.

DarthPub@retrofed.com · 19 pts · 151d (1 reply)

[ removed ]

nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 151d

Peas in a pod

AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 151d (11 replies)

I really don't mean to defend this dude, so don't take this as that. Those Os penises (animal penis bones, baculum) are very collectable. I wouldn't want to be the person collecting and cleaning them, but this is extremely common to see people harvest baculum.

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 12 pts · 150d (2 replies)

is extremely common to see people harvest baculum.

Extremely may be an exaggeration...

AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Yeah, that's fair. I guess maybe extremely common compared to the harvesting of penises that don't have a baculum?

ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 3 pts · 150d

I hope so.

LuckyDevil@piefed.social · 11 pts · 151d (6 replies)

Interesting. Do you know why people collect them? Is it like a rabbits foot? Are there lucky raccoon penises out there?

AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 151d (5 replies)

They're just kinda cool! It's a Marge Simpson thing. You find them at oddity and reptile shows used as part of crafts all the time.

I saw this watching moonshiners on the history channel, so take it with a grain of salt, but the moonshiners were obsessed with them. Since they bend down at the end, you stick the bone into the spigot where the liquid comes out of the worm bucket (where the alcohol vapor condenses into liquid). It directs the flow into a jar. You can also use a stick, but these dudes were always just carrying raccoon dick bones that I'm sure they harvested themselves.

kboos1@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 151d

dudes were always just carrying raccoon dick bones that I'm sure they harvested themselves.

That's enough Lemmy for tonight. Time for bed

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 150d (1 reply)

The same history channel that paid a guy to say that aliens built the pyramids?

Right, credible source. /s

AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 150d

100%, this the right way to treat a history channel reference. Fact checking is a requirement and trust should be withheld by default.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

you know, i respect homebrew but i really want to make sure there's no raccoon dick in my whiskey.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 150d

Thanks to MAGA, I have now officially heard EVERYTHING, and I'm not one bit happy about it.

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 151d

Yeah, that's how I got my first racoon baculum. Fox too.

There's even a fairly brisk if low cost trade in them, and is generally going to come from either winter deaths after spring thaws, or road kill.

muxika@piefed.muxika.org · 11 pts · 151d (4 replies)

But Kennedy’s involvement with road kill did not stop with the bear.

Hold the fucking phone. This is not a subject to "yes-and" into.

To think that the Kennedy line ends like this is so damn sad.

village604@adultswim.fan · 4 pts · 150d (3 replies)

He has kids, doesn't he?

Malyca@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 150d (1 reply)

He also drove a woman to suicide

village604@adultswim.fan · 3 pts · 150d

But that's not relevant to whether or not the Kennedy family ends with him.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 150d

and they testified before congress about a whale head.

in ten years barron trump is going to be unironically telling a house panel about growing up terrified of mooses and squirrels

limelight79@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 150d (1 reply)

The best part about this is that even after the whale head and other similar stories, he still doesn't stop to think, "hey, maybe I shouldn't share that story." He doesn't understand the problem, clearly, but he also doesn't even grasp that there is a problem with these stories.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

maybe, just maybe, he's shared all these godsawful stories and ended up a leading politician somehow. maybe for him there isn't a problem because he keeps being enabled and that is what the problem truly is.

ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 151d (4 replies)

He is such a weird and creepy guy. Even back ~~veggie these stores~~ when these stories came to light he had a weird vibe to him.

I cannot fathom how anyone could think "yeah, this guy would be an excellent President!"

Edit: curse you uncaught autocorrect mistakes!

egrets@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 150d (1 reply)

back veggie these stores came to light

I'm glad you didn't proofread this comment veggie you posted it, because it made me laugh.

ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 150d

Holy shit, I swear autocorrect is at war with me! And I am clearly losing, lol.

Glad my mistakes gave you a chuckle. :)

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 150d (1 reply)

I cannot fathom how anyone could think “yeah, this guy would be an excellent President!”

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

Spacehooks@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 150d

Just offered it up to nurgle?

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 150d (2 replies)

Why does it say "Reading mode"?

QuincyPeck@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 150d (1 reply)

To get you ready to read the article.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

don't tell me what to do! I'm gonna make my computer's awful text to speech read it to me!

resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe · 5 pts · 150d

Very cool and normal.

Formfiller@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

KonalaKoala@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d (2 replies)

I think he would really be seen as a sociopath if this was "RFK Jr. Recalls the Time He Was Trying to 'Cut the Penis Out of Donald Trump' - Reading mode.

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 150d (1 reply)

Why does it say "Reading mode"?

KonalaKoala@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

I don't know, but OP has it in the topic of this thread.

Widdershins@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

I said it in the thread from a few days ago: he's going to hollow out the baculum to snort drugs with.

devolution@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 150d

These are our elected and nominated officials. You cannot make this shit up.

Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 150d

Truly a sentence I never in my wildest, most alcohol -fueled dreams did I ever think my eyes would have to endure

grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one · 3 pts · 151d

“It was the best of times…”