Hello 911, it's me again

964 points · 91 comments · view on lemmy.world

91 Comments

apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world · 117 pts · 74d (3 replies)

Without a base, without a trace y'all.

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 73d (1 reply)

And also it's glass, so you can relive 1 man 1 jar.

Hupf@feddit.org · 2 pts · 72d

Best diet ever. I was planning on eating today but no more.

Lord743@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 72d
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its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 100 pts · 74d (4 replies)

The first time I saw this meme I thought it was about how you shouldn't have glass bottles on the beach. I used to be innocent.

KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 73d (3 replies)

In Japan bringing glass beer to the beach is legal and socially accepted, yet you don’t see shards of glass on the beach because people take home their waste to properly recycle.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 73d

North Americans are fascinated by a society that is not assholes.

its_kim_love@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 73d

Japan needs to get themselves some bottle kids.

StillAlive@piefed.world · 2 pts · 73d

Are beer cans not legal?

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 66 pts · 73d (26 replies)

My ER nurse friend has literally seen a patient with a Corona bottle shattered up his ass. He shits in a bag now

arrow74@lemmy.zip · 37 pts · 73d (6 replies)

That's kinda wild they weren't able to salvage more function. The bottle is like what 8 inches tall? My initial thought is that should be fairly localized, major but manageable (surgically).

But as I got to thinking each involuntary movement of those muscles is just going to cause the glass to move and cut even deeper. Plus it's totally possible the guy got that bottle inserted deeply.

I kinda wish I didn't think through this as much as I did

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 35 pts · 73d

roguetrick@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 73d

If he didn't go to the provider for awhile it likely just turned necrotic and they had to resection his rectum. They tend not to want to go.

X@piefed.world · 5 pts · 73d

goddamn what the fuck did we do to hurt you that bad holy snapping duckshit

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d

nah. damage to the rectum and anus is what'll do you. it's not the loss of colon, it's the loss of muscle and function.

nickiwest@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 72d (1 reply)

Turns out, that last 8 inches is really important.

arrow74@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 72d

So if it's stuck best get it deeper before it breaks. I'm taking note of this

Also whether or not it's the last or first 8 inches depends solely on the goal

orenj@leminal.space · 25 pts · 73d (1 reply)

Jeeeeez. If you can afford a few weekends with beers, you can afford to buy a dildo. Don't risk it, folks.

EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 73d

Assuming this was self-inflicted

ickplant@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 73d (1 reply)

(Art by Lakota F Meyer)

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 72d

“Come take these eyes, I would rather be blind.”

— blind mag

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 73d (12 replies)

Because of the incident? Or for fun?

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 73d (11 replies)

The incident. They have to remove part of the patient’s large intestine then patient has to shit in a bag through a hole in the side of the body, for the rest of their life

backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 21 pts · 73d (10 replies)

SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 73d (9 replies)
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backalleycoyote@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 73d (2 replies)

He’s so full of shit there’s no technology that can stop it. But I think we can all rejoice in the fact it’s his most loyal supporters that get blessed with this opportunity to literally get shit on on a daily basis, the rest of us just have to deal with the figurative version.

smeenz@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 73d

Low fibre, high fructose McShits

SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 73d
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HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d (5 replies)

yeahhhh those filters aren't great. they last a day, tops.

SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 72d (4 replies)
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HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 72d

That's not how they are built

chiliedogg@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 73d

Upgraded to box wine?

NikkiDimes@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 73d

1 guy 1 bottle

Brkdncr@lemmy.world · 54 pts · 73d (11 replies)

Please don’t take glass to the beach.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 40 pts · 73d (7 replies)

What if I just heated up the sand to 1650°C while I was there?

Brkdncr@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 73d (6 replies)

Yeah that’s fine. I’m mostly concerned about invasive glass.

Holyginz@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 73d (5 replies)

I hear its the 3rd most invasive thing in the world, behind plants, animals, and the British at the very top.

EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 73d (4 replies)

Wouldn't that make it the 4th most invasive thing?

smeenz@lemmy.nz · 11 pts · 73d (1 reply)

Our four most invasive, no... amongst our most invasive... Sorry, I'll come in again.

PostProcess@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 73d

No one expects?

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 73d (1 reply)

The British are animals

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 73d

Yes I quite agree I mean what's the point of being treated like sheep. What's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea - "Oh they don't make it properly here, do they, not like at home" - and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamari's and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White's sun cream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh 'cos they "overdid it on the first day."

FishFace@piefed.social · 9 pts · 73d (2 replies)

Taking glass to the beach is fine. Leaving it there is a problem.

NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social · 9 pts · 73d (1 reply)

Perhaps they live in one of those countries where driving on the beach is normal but cleaning up after yourself is not.

chocrates@piefed.world · 8 pts · 73d

It's the risk of shattering and never getting all the shards cleaned up, I assume

M137@lemmy.today · 39 pts · 73d (3 replies)

But you can stick normal bottles in the sand.... This is a solution looking for a problem, and I think the person who made it just wants to have one in their ass.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 73d (2 replies)

Why would anyone want to stick a beer into hot sand?

AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 73d (1 reply)

What if you're at the beach and could really do with a warm beer?

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 73d

blah! this beer is too cold!

RumAndCreole@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 73d

trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 74d (1 reply)

A design like this is asking for problems. They should at least have given it a flared top.

notabot@piefed.social · 51 pts · 74d

To stop it sinking too far into the sand, right? ... Right?

davidagain@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 73d (3 replies)
  1. It's not hard to stick a bottle in the sand at the beach anyway, just twist as you press.
  2. If it's not concave at the bottom, it doesn't need the ring of little ridges to sit on the shelf.
  3. This would be very hard to store and transport, significantly increasing costs for a niche perceived customer benefit.

This bottle does not exist.

eneff@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 72d (1 reply)

This design is purely a conceptual artwork and is not a commercially available product. There are no plans whatsoever to manufacture or sell it. It was simply intended to inspire a moment of reflection on the sea. It is not intended for any other use beyond visual contemplation. That is all there is to it.

https://kenjiabe.com/bottle-for-sticking-in-sandy-beaches-1

davidagain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 72d

Ah thank you for digging that out.

Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 73d

This would be very hard to store and transport, significantly increasing costs for a niche perceived customer benefit.

As others have said, this looks like a missile.
Armory corps sell missiles in crates.
Now they have a way to be even more efficient by shipping beer as a goodie besides tools of destruction.
Some would call that a win-win

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 23 pts · 73d (1 reply)

You can already do this with any bottle. All this did was prohibit them from being set down on flat surfaces.

0x0@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 73d

Vacuum may be an issue, caution is advised.

Sanctus@anarchist.nexus · 21 pts · 74d (9 replies)

The inside of your ass will crack that glass like its a paper cup.

chocrates@piefed.world · 14 pts · 73d (2 replies)

It should be fine until you put your weight on it. We have that documentary about it

mkhopper@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 73d (1 reply)

Documentary. 😄
Now I want someone to use AI to narrate that video in Morgan Freeman's voice.

smeenz@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 73d

Andy Dufresne let that bottle crawl through 500 yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want to.

BC_viper@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 73d

Well its not a pickle jar

LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 73d (3 replies)

You must have buns of steel. Unclench every once in a while, sheesh.

Sanctus@anarchist.nexus · 7 pts · 73d (1 reply)

Now this is power bottoming

yakko@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 73d

Dudes always bragging about their snappers. Smdh

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 73d

but then all my jelly beans will fall out

Devadander@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 73d
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eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 74d

So your beer can heat up even faster!

kreskin@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 73d (1 reply)

I'll take two dildo beers please. Slightly heated.

Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 72d

It's ribbed on the bottom

Heyting@lemmy.ml · 14 pts · 73d (2 replies)

ITT: people don’t understand that it’s and art piece and not for mass production

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 25 pts · 73d

Not for ass production.

elucubra@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 73d

Nope. It will become art when it's first used for its intended purpose

Prior_Industry@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 73d

Makes Molotov cocktails more aerodynamic also.

gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 73d

I was putting my beer bottles in the sand just fine before the Glass Anal Invader came along. Now, if someone was laying face down right next to my chair, then yes, I might consider using this.

HeHoXa@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 73d

Opening a web shop to sell bases threaded for beer bottles.

TipRing@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 73d

Y'all motherfuckers need dildos.

With flared bases. Or big ol' balls.

BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 73d

smeenz@lemmy.nz · 5 pts · 73d

PAIGE, NO !

DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 73d

"If it's got no base, don't put it in THAT place."

nexguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 73d

More lobbying by Big Anal...smh

anugeshtu@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 73d

Glass?! Why isn't it made of vibranium?

huquad@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 74d

And then the bottle breaks

iuseasahibtw@ani.social · 4 pts · 73d

mattyroses@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 72d

This is just gonna start a new Balkan war . . . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%90or%C4%91e_Martinovi%C4%87_incident

Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 73d

Amphora, but small. As opposed to a butt, which is half a tun (so much better them metric because it is funny).

Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 73d

Actually, I first thought of a mortar round.

Danarchy@lemmy.nz · 1 pts · 73d

Hahaha it’s haha it’s cause haha oh gosh it’s cause if you stick it in your “buns” haha it could shoot out and poke spmebody’s eye out 😂

UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 73d

This doesn really change much tho, you could use the upper portion already

HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 73d

One man, one bottle video in 3... 2... 1...

flandish@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 73d

ahh the “arbuckle” bottle

owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 73d

"Yeah, in future design reviews we ended up adding a flare at the top. For... reasons."

6244901@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 73d

People will be people! :)

Etterra@discuss.online · 1 pts · 73d

At first I thought it was a new air-dropped bomb to use against Iran. I mean it seems like something the Trump-Epstein fan club would dream up.