xkcd #3253: Sunbeam

Title text:

While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, the unconscious ability of astronomers and astrophotographers to summon clouds is more properly classified as a curse.

Transcript:

Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com

Source: https://xkcd.com/3253/

explainxkcd for #3253

640 points · 40 comments · view on lemmy.world

40 Comments

officermike@lemmy.world · 109 pts · 99d (8 replies)

Same theme, but less knowledge flex and more power flex:

I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch. But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting. And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe. He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/comment/cdnafqe/

Grail@multiverse.soulism.net · 13 pts · 99d (6 replies)

Why didn't he just move seats tho?

Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 99d

Because that's a less interesting story

teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 99d

Too fucking tired. Bugger that. Just move the sun.

rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 99d

Why move when you can command thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people to move for you?

ayyy@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 99d

Because the military attracts people who get off on asserting power over others.

homes@piefed.world · 3 pts · 99d

Because there’s also a table.

Just moved to the next table. That’s what we did.

Cawifre@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 98d

It might just be two seats with a small table between them. Maybe some other seating without tables. I don't know how many officers are on one ship or what size lounge fits how many on staggered shifts.

brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 99d

Thanks for sharing, meant to find this again

zerofk@lemmy.zip · 21 pts · 99d (13 replies)

Doesn’t everyone do this?

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 27 pts · 99d (7 replies)

The average person probably can't tell you which way is west without looking at their phone, or point to where the Sun probably is during the day if it's cloudy.

homes@piefed.world · 11 pts · 99d (4 replies)

Do you really need to check your phone to notice which tables in the cafeteria are gonna get covered in sun while you’re sitting there?

You can usually notice a bit of a shift while you’re standing in line to get your food. It’s not rocket surgery.

I went to high school in the 90s, and that’s how I figured it out, and I didn’t mean to check any sources. I just looked when I walked in, looked when I got in line, and looked when I got out of line. Three points of reference, I noticed the shift, and I could figure out what table to sit at. Easy.

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 17 pts · 99d (1 reply)

You're just one of the ones who understands things more, and is confused that other people don't. It's okay though, as we can always invoke another well known XKCD and treat someone who doesn't get it as one of the ten thousand. Don't make fun of them, educate them.

homes@piefed.world · 6 pts · 99d

I love that 10,000 comic. It’s one of my favorite.

“Don’t be an arrogant ass. Be an educator!”

arctanthrope@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 99d (1 reply)

if the line at a cafe is long enough that the position of the sun will have noticably changed between the time I enter and the time I sit down, I'm probably just gonna go to a different cafe

homes@piefed.world · 4 pts · 99d

During midday, when lunch usually is,… Wait a minute, no that’s wrong. It’s usually during the afternoon when the shifting in the sun is quickest.

Sorry, I came to make a point, but realized I was wrong mid sentence.

I guess I forgot how long I had to stand in line during lunch in highschool.

As an adult, I either sit inside where it’s always shady, or I intentionally sit outside in the sunshine. I haven’t had to think about it in a long time, lol.

SorryQuick@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 98d

Because the average person has no reason to always keep track of the sun and their orientation related to it.

Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 98d

I can tell which way is west in my own language, but for some reason I have trouble translating east and west between languages. Eventually I just associated English "west" with "the wild west" and think about the direction from which native Americans would defend themselves as being west. Then I think what that direction is in my language to get the word for it.

celia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 99d (3 replies)

You might be an astrophotographer and not know it

expatriado@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 99d (1 reply)

looks at mount, telescope, camera, and filter prices

not me for sure

DokPsy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 99d

Just build them piecemeal. It'll cost as much if not more but it's not all at once. Or find a super cheap camera and wide angle lens with a low f number and do Milky Way photography. Lots of options with a lowish entry price

Or don't. I'm just 3 raccoons in a human suit

homes@piefed.world · 1 pts · 99d

Or maybe you just went to high school in the 90s or earlier and learned to use more readily available points of reference

homes@piefed.world · 1 pts · 99d

Everyone has to deal with this, yes. That’s why this comic is so funny and relatable.

palordrolap@fedia.io · 19 pts · 99d (6 replies)

A superpower that requires that you remember which hemisphere* of the planet you're on.

In Australia, a window with such a sunbeam is north-facing, not south. The westward moving sun thus takes the sunbeam to the far table.

* Things get real funky if you're on a planet with a severe axial tilt relative to the perpendicular of its orbital plane.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 32 pts · 99d (4 replies)

requires that you remember which hemisphere of the planet you're on

Tbf, that's not really asking much.

Not to brag, but most of the time, I'm even aware of which COUNTRY I'm in!

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 99d (1 reply)

Sometimes I forget what planet I’m on.

Sirius006@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 99d

You should not worry remembering this one's name. It will be inhabitable soon anyway.

Nurgus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 99d

Witchcraft!!

talentedkiwi@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 99d

So that's why I see flags everywhere (cars, houses, hats, etc. ). People seem to forget which country they're in.

echodot@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 98d

Things get real funky if you're on a planet with a severe axial tilt relative to the perpendicular of its orbital plane.

Oh I hate that. You're wondering long mind in your own business and then suddenly, Uranus

benjirenji@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 99d

I tried this trick once, but I failed because I was in Australia.

RunawayFixer@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 99d (1 reply)

I'm neither an astronomer nor an astrophotographer and I do this. The sun always rotates in the same direction, it's not exactly rocket science.

But if I were to ever visit the southern hemisphere, then I'm practically guaranteed to pick the worst possible sitting spot at least once.

Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 98d

But I'm a programmer and the sun is an external source of data. I need unit tests ensuring my prediction function works regardless of the direction the sun rotates.

HeHoXa@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 98d

Everyone on the construction yard was intimately familiar with this.

Randall needs more outdoors time.

Ooops@feddit.org · 5 pts · 99d (2 replies)

Wow... finally one I don't understand.

The thing about waether control in funny (or sad - depending on perspective^), but what is the point about knowing in which direction the sun moves? Doesn't everyone learn that in the first years of their life?

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 4 pts · 99d

No.

I worked a job where I sat in the passenger seat and directed my partners where to go.

I was constantly informed that I was a human map.

We were working in a city with grid streets, most of them numbered

LPThinker@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 99d

I would think an Astrophotographer needs to know which distant objects in the night sky are going to be illuminated and/or washed out when, so maybe that's what it's referring to? I.e. the joke is not that he knows where the sun is pointing on Earth, but that he knows where in the observable galaxy the light will be best for his needs?

LovableSidekick@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 99d (2 replies)

Knowing which way you're facing also gives you this power.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 98d (1 reply)

I am facing forward but am not sure what the next step is.

LovableSidekick@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 98d

You put your right foot in. Then you put your right foot out. You can work out the rest.