The "I Love My Wife" Starter Pack

287 points · 19 comments · view on lemmy.world

19 Comments

Sawblade02@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 28 pts · 88d (1 reply)

On the flip side we have so much fun, I talk about her so much that everybody else finds a reason to nope out.

Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 88d

Congratulations! More time with your wife!

Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 88d (1 reply)

Ugh, and here I went and got myself a husband instead.

psycotica0@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 87d

Massive mistake. I have a wife, and she's pretty great. But my wife got a husband instead and he's.... okay. Definitely a step down.

Watermark710@piefed.social · 22 pts · 88d

My wife and I will have our 38th anniversary next month. I can 100% confirm that having a wife is great.

MrJameGumb@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 88d (6 replies)

Aside from the first part you don't actually need a wife to do most of that stuff. I could in theory constantly talk about a fictional wife I don't have and claim that she needed me for something so I could get out of awkward social situations.

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 88d (4 replies)

It's easier to not need to lie.

MrJameGumb@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 88d (2 replies)

I disagree. I firmly believe that keeping track of a handful of lies about a fictional wife is considerably easier than actually being married.

terranoid@lemmy.cafe · 9 pts · 88d

I have to return some video tapes

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 88d

This is why all of my girlfriends are mad at me

bluGill@fedia.io · 1 pts · 88d

And in this case the odds that you are found out are rather high. I never approve of lies, but even chronic liers generally know better than a lie that will be found out.

FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip · 12 pts · 88d

But then say things like “you’re crazy” “you’re insane” and “sir please put down the gun”

captain_oni@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 88d

A picture of Maes Hughes holding up two pictures of his wife and daughter.

DaddleDew@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 88d (2 replies)

You can start doing most of these things right now. Just look at Lieutenant Columbo

frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io · 4 pts · 88d (1 reply)

Mrs. Columbo existed though, she even had her own spinoff.

DaddleDew@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 88d

She didn't need to exist for most of that to work though

agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 88d

Have wife, can confirm. It's great.

AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space · 3 pts · 88d (1 reply)

A cat or dog of whom you have pictures and stories and whom you need to feed/walk/spend time with also works

toynbee@piefed.social · 1 pts · 87d

Or you could be like Scully.