c/lemmyshitpost · by daannii@lemmy.world · 98d

Do you struggle with reaching nirvana via basic bitch meditation? I have a better way, friend

613 points · 38 comments · view on lemmy.world

38 Comments

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 97d

Bruh clearly isn't shitting hard enough

HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 97d (2 replies)

The clarity for about ten seconds after puking is peak.

X@piefed.world · 13 pts · 97d

Step aside, post nut clarity, there’s a new clarity in town

Anivia@feddit.org · 1 pts · 97d

No imagine after puking out shrooms

Kalothar@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 97d (2 replies)

many years ago a person I knew was using their phone while throwing up, they also happened to be on acid at the same time and they drank wayyy too much fruit punch.

They had been attempting to get to the bathroom while looking at their phone.

It was black and white checkered floor. I wasn’t on acid, so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this. This was a reddish brown vomit, looked like a murder scene.

ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org · 5 pts · 97d (1 reply)

so I told my friend to go ahead and to take a shower to cleanup and I’d handle this.

You are a true friend!

bstix@feddit.dk · 2 pts · 97d

Friend or not, the first step is to stop the accident.

This involves removing any fruit juice and acid puking people from the situation so the qualified personnel can clean up the scene.

rounding_error@lemmy.today · 18 pts · 97d (4 replies)

I wouldn't really call 'hobbled on a bathroom floor', 'naked and wet', and 'vomiting into a toilet', "Zen"

Gormadt@slrpnk.net · 15 pts · 97d

Fully disconnected from the other. Focused purely on survival.

What your name is, who you love, what time it is, where you need to be today, none of it matters. None of it enters your mind.

Raw unfiltered reality.

The only thought is, "PLEASE DON'T PUKE SO HARD I SHIT MYSELF!!!"

daannii@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 97d (2 replies)

Didn't some native Americans have vision quests that were basically putting the body into a state of exhaustion, starvation, and dehydration?

schildfrosch@feddit.org · 4 pts · 97d (1 reply)

tldr of my deleted ramblings:

science is good. organized is religion bad and authoritarian.

however: humans develop closer relationships via religion.

can there be democratic forms of spirituality? would require self-awareness.

damn i guess i'm still high. also there are no gods.

Hacksaw@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 96d

Look up Unitarian Universalism. It's basically a secular religion based around progressive values rather than trying to appease God.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism

deacon@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 97d (2 replies)

That’s why the neuralink is coming. Think of all the unrealized ad revenue when we’re doing things like sleeping, or puking, or fucking OP’s mom.

Gormadt@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 97d

vomits so hard I blow a blood vessel in my eye

banner ad rolls into the bottom of my vision and the voice of my mother fills my ears

"Pepto Bismol! 2 for $10! Buy NOW for SAME DAY SHIPPING! Blink twice to BUY NOW!"

"please stop, I'm just hungover"

a different banner ad rolls into the top of my vision and the voice of Sam Elliot rumbles into my ears

"How about a bit of the hair of the dog then cowboy. Buy 2 Fifths of whiskey and get a third for free. Buy now and it'll arrive right when you get off of work."

vomits again

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 97d

Your mom says hi, by the way.

PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 97d

I'll be taking my phone with me the next time I need to puke.

There is no god! Lol

almost1337@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 97d

This sign completely ignores the existence of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader and I will not stand for it.

Starik@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 97d (1 reply)

Don’t blame phones for ruining shitting. Before phones, we had shampoo labels to read.

daannii@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 97d

And magazines. Books. Remember how people used to keep books by the toilet and I was always thinking. Ewwwww